Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Fat bastard G&T member attempts to walk a marathon for charity

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  • #11694
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    In a move that looks set to either kill me or at least comatose me for several months, I will be attempting to walk for 26.2 miles through London in the middle of the night. This is due to a) peer pressure, b) fundraising for Cancer Research.

    If you like G&T, or just hate cancer, you can show some support by chucking a few quid my way at justgiving.com/iansymes.

    #117677
    si
    Participant

    Good job, sir, and a worthy cause. I shall gladly chuck some money your way as soon as I am able.

    #117673
    Kris Carter
    Participant

    I have ‘donated’ some ‘money’ to you Ian.

    And by donated I mean masturbated furiously, and by money I mean jiz. Obviously.

    #117674
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Every little helps.

    #117675
    Kris Carter
    Participant

    Just out of curiousity, won’t walking that far take you AGES?

    #117669
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Yes, probably around ten hours, if not more. I didn’t really think this through, but I wanted to sign up before I had chance to change my mind.

    #117670
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    > Yes, probably around ten hours, if not more.

    It’s ok, you can probably cut the time down a bit by just running the whole way. I’m sure that would be fine.

    #117659
    pfm
    Participant

    How much do I have to donate to get a spanking from Emma Willis? :P

    #117661
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    I can’t make any promises, but a tenner is a good start. Cheers!

    #117663
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    I’ll settle for you making an inappropriate gesture on network television.

    #117664
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Cheers! I will get my cock out on Channel 5 this evening in your honour.

    #117665
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Thanks also to Hello Mabel!

    #117666
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    I have contracted with the below to take care of your remains!

    A W Luck & Sons Funeral Directors
    3 Church Lane
    East Finchley
    London N2 8DX
    Tel: 020 8883 2429

    Will the walk take US dollars?

    #117658
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    I believe an American person has already donated, so I assume Justgiving can handle that.

    #117653

    >A W Luck & Sons Funeral Directors
    3 Church Lane
    East Finchley
    London N2 8DX
    Tel: 020 8883 2429

    I phoned that number and all I got was sex, sex, sex.

    #117655
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Thanks, Pecospete! I knew there was a reason I hadn’t banned you yet.

    #117656
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    Giving makes me feel a bit less helpless. My uncle has melanoma.

    #117657
    ChrisM
    Participant

    Ian will you be walking dressed in that li’l devil costume? There could be a few more quid in it for you…

    Joking aside, a great cause. I’ll contribute come payday.

    #117649
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    I’d rather you contributed money.

    #117650
    Phil
    Participant

    When *is* the charity walkathon, Ian?

    …nm, that doesn’t work.

    Will donate when I get home tonight.

    AND THEN I WILL GIVE YOU SOME MONEY LOL

    #117652

    >I’d rather you contributed money.

    You are a sick, sick person.

    #117218
    Karnie
    Participant

    Done! Good luck, Ian, you smeeeee heeeeeee!

    #117720
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Thanks very much!

    #117168
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Thanks, Ridley!

    #118025
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Thank you, Philip J Reed!

    #118027
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    And thank you, Soundable Object!

    (yes, I am just posting these comments to bump the thread to the top)

    #118028
    mick
    Participant

    I walked a marathon once… Ah no sorry ate, I ate a marathon.

    I’ll sort you out on payday.

    #118030
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    BUMP

    Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

    #118034
    Plastic Percy
    Participant

    I don’t think it’ll take you all that long. I’m no Usain Bolt, but I walk five miles into work every day and it takes about 45 minutes to an hour. It should probably take you about half what you expect.

    In which case, I say man up and run it.

    #118037
    Jo
    Participant

    >In which case, I say man up and run it.

    It’s a walking marathon.

    #118038
    pfm
    Participant

    > I’m no Usain Bolt, but I walk five miles into work every day and it takes about 45 minutes to an hour.

    Exaggerations are fun! :D

    #118043
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    Someone once gave me a tip: if you get tired, walk backwards.

    I tried this and it’s total bullsmeg. If you get tired, take a breather.

    Also: I’m sure you already know this, but just in case, a marathon is definitely NOT the time to break in a brand new pair of sneakers.

    #118044
    mick
    Participant

    Someone once gave me a tip: Stop half way for a wank.

    I tried this and it’s total bullsmeg, if you get tired this will make you more tired.

    Also: This is why I cant take ANY jobs that require a criminal record check.

    #118045
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    Someone once gave me a tip. Get some escort boots.

    I tried this and it’s total bullsmeg, if you get tired this will make you more tired, having to lift your legs up high in a comedy fashion, cus it turns out they are just heavy props and not real.

    Also: The same is true of smart shoes, and back to the future hover boards.

    #118047
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    > Also: The same is true of smart shoes, AND back to the future hover boards.

    FTFY :)

    #118050
    JamesTC
    Participant

    I’ve got a way for the marathon to be over in just a couple of hours. Become a dog.

    #118053
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Seriously if you are not fit, an by fit I mean you can do 15 to 30 mins of light exercise without breathing heavy, sweating,light headness. Take a 325mg aspirin with breakfest.
    This will reduce your risk of dying from a heart attack! Unless you are allergic to aspirin.
    This saved my life when I had my heart attack. Seriously!

    Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

    #118056
    mick
    Participant

    Good advice Pete but also bear in mind it’s a blood thinner too, so if you have related medical issues it shouldn’t be taken.

    I take aspirin daily now as I’ve had a heart attack and a small stroke, but I know plenty of fit and well people that take it daily.

    #118059
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    I take 81mg along with 3mg warfin
    They gave me 5 yrs its now 15 so what the fuck do they know
    Goddam Vogans, I mean Doctors,mine still has his bone in his nose!

    Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

    #118080
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Yes, I will definitely ‘man up’ by running a marathon with no training, boosted by self-prescribed medicines.

    In other news, thanks Jonsmad!

    #118083
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Is going to be like “ROCKY”. Yo AdrIan ! Adrian: Why do you wanna walk?
    Rocky: Because I can’t sing or dance.

    #118090
    Phil
    Participant

    Or Jaws. Shark in the water! JAWS: Hey Ian, why are you walking? IAN: Cancer.

    [enormous, unrelated image embedded here]

    #118111
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    VOGOANS!

    [Preposterously-sized image of a celebrity eating some crumpets]

    #118286
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    Bump.

    Already at 60% with a month still to go! Right on.

    #118294
    mick
    Participant

    Done, and bump.

    #118295
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    I love you, you fuckin bassad
    x

    #126259
    mick
    Participant

    I’ll be waiting at the finish line, smothered in baby oil.

    *BUMP*

    #126468
    mick
    Participant

    Donate now and I wont post the JPGs of the above.

    *BUMP*

    #126470
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Incidentally when my first paycheque come in I’ll be chipping in.

    #126531
    mick
    Participant

    Last thing he needs is chips.

    *bump*

    #126540
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Thanks, Chris M! (I think it’s you, anyway)

    #126560
    Phil
    Participant

    >Yes, I will definitely ‘man up’ by running a marathon with no training, boosted by self-prescribed medicines.

    I’d just like to say that I’m still laughing at this.

    #200423
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    > I’ve got a way for the marathon to be over in just a couple of hours. Become a dog.

    Or a robot cheetah.

    #200466
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Thanks, Dave!

    #200513
    ChrisM
    Participant

    Thanks, Chris M! (I think it’s you, anyway)

    You’re very welcome.

    #200581
    mick
    Participant

    Symes, is that your coitus-erupti face in your new avatar? it seems very familiar…

    #201503
    si
    Participant

    *bump*

    I get a Tweet, but I don’t get a bump. Never mind, you’re welcome, Ian. Good luck. When is it?

    #201504
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    It’s THIS SATURDAY. Official on-thread thanks to Si and also to Ridley for getting me to a nice round £750.

    #201509
    mick
    Participant

    No lard sarnies for you this week matey, good luck!

    #201535
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    And Jeff_R steps up to the plate with a donation within hours of his first post.

    #201745
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Bumpetty thanks to muppetjedi, Jezzmund and Tarka Dal.

    This is TOMORROW.

    #201746
    si
    Participant

    See you November, then, yeah?

    GOOD LUCK YOU CUNT.

    #201747
    mick
    Participant

    I sent the just giving link around in an internal email at work so lets home some more of the gits here donate and get you ridiculously over target.

    #201748
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Cheers! I am pleased to announced that I have now exceeded the target. A large chunk of contributions have come from people who only know me from this stupid place, and it makes me incredibly proud and humbled to think that this shitty website that I started ten years ago because I didn’t have any friends is now capable of making a real difference to the lives of millions of cancer sufferers. G&T is awesome.

    #201749
    Tarka Dal
    Participant

    I bet Rob Gillies feels very silly now.

    #201750
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    And ten years later, you still don’t have any friends, but at least Cancer Research is a grand better off.

    #201751
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    I think I’m going to cry.

    Or have a poo.

    One of the two, anyway.

    #201752
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    I usually can’t do one without doing the other at the same time.

    I feel bad about not being able to chip in, but bloody Hell this month is tight.

    #201753

    I apologise for not having any money. I have no excuse.

    #201754
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    Good luck tomorrow, Ian. Raising over $1700 for cancer research is the best thing ever done by somebody I know. Well, virtually know.

    I’m in “spoiler avoidance mode” these days, but will keep my eye on this thread this weekend hoping that you or Jo can check in at some point with an update.

    #201756
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    I’ll be live-tweeting it, so hopefully will someone will post important details such as “I’ve finished it” or “I am in an ambulance”.

    #201757
    clem
    Participant

    Erm can I get a bump please? And don’t forget to have a rest so you don’t look too shagged out when you cross the finish line.

    #201758
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Whoops!

    OFFICIAL CLEM BUMP.

    #201767
    mick
    Participant

    #201795
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    The Vogon Construction Fleet made a small donation to get that bowl movement going!

    Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

    #201827
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    I did it, by the way. And what’s more, I am not currently dead.

    #201831
    si
    Participant

    *Whoops and cheers* Well done, mate.

    #201833
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    What hurts the most?

    #201854
    MANI506
    Participant

    Getting hit really hard in the bollocks – gotta be.

    #201855
    si
    Participant

    I’ve heard childbirth is quite high on the ouch factor.

    #201856
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Personally, I think what hurts the most was being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away (for Cancer Research).

    #201857
    Brayds2006
    Participant

    Kicking your toe on something hurts plenty.

    #201858
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    In my case, my current most-painful bits are the soles of my feet, both of which feature massive blisters. Not the heels or the toes or the sides – the SOLES of my feet. Legs are achey, but in that perversely pleasurable way that happens when you know you’re aching for a good reason. I’m alright as long as I don’t have to do stairs.

    #201859
    ChrisM
    Participant

    Not the heels or the toes or the sides – the SOLES of my feet

    I can believe it. I noticed that very thing when I did some leaflet delivery work a couple of years back.* While the geographical distance wasn’t great, all that wandering up and down front paths took it’s toll meaning I must have covered a few miles by the end, and I just wasn’t used to it.

    I was literally hobbling like an old man at the end of it. I’d take the odd sit down here and there and feel like steam was rising off the bottom of my feet.

    Anyway well done. On the plus side, with rest recovery is pretty quick.

    *I was unemployed and at least it earned me a bit.

    #201864
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Sounds like a sock failure! If you ever do it again you should have hiking boots or shoes with hikings socks. You will dance thru it next time! 29 mi is about 51,040 steps which is huge! The wrong socks would explain you sore feet. Now every body can make jokes about this post!

    #201865
    JamesTC
    Participant

    Not the heels or the toes or the sides – the SOLES of my feet.

    I’d see a priest about that.

    #201878

    I want to make a “it turns out feet have souls” joke, but I don’t know how to form it. So this will have to do.

    #201879
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    3 blisters? and a strange man with sore feet. :)

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