Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[cwickham]

I LIED FOR AN EPISODE

Rimmer doesn’t tell the truth.

[Dave]

OILED FOR AN EPISODE

Alternative title for Terrorform written on Chris Barrie’s copy of the script.

[Dave]

UNLINKED FOR AN EPISODE

The idea for an episode thread links to an empty reply field when accessing it from the frontpage “recent forum posts” section.

Maybe it’s for the best.

[Dave]

UNLIKED FOR AN EPISODE

Alternative title for Timewave etc. etc.

[Dave]

UNICYCLED FOR AN EPISODE

Deleted scene from Timeslides involving baguettes.

[Dave]

RECYCLED FOR AN EPISODE

Kryten shouting “we have to go!” in The Inquisitor is dubbed into Back To Reality.

[Dave]

RECYCLED FOR SEVERAL EPISODES

*That* shot of Red Dwarf with the descending music sting proves excellent value for the Dave era.

[Dave]

I WONDER WHETHER BUMPING THIS ONTO THE NEXT PAGE WILL FIX THE BROKEN FORUM LINK

No pun intended, or indeed made.

(Edit: looks like it did.)

[Dave]

FUCK MY ARSE WE’RE ON PAGE 79

Etc.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

THE DJ NEVER HAS IT, JMC AUTOMATIC

Lister fails to find a Jesus and Mary Chain album that is referenced in ‘Authority Song’ by Jimmy Eat World’ because all his search terms with the computers onboard computer DJ throw up manuals for automatic processes aboard JMC vessels.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

JIMMY EAT WORLD WORLD

The crew discover a planet populated by clones of Jim Adkins he has made of himself.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

FUTURES ECHOS

As the crew reach light speed, Jimmy Eat World’s ‘Futures’ album start to echo around the ship inexplicably

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

CATS DO NOT LIKE ‘WORK’

Cat claim that none of his species like the song Work by Jimmy Eat World.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BLISTER

Lister badly burns himself whilst listening to a track from an early Jimmy Eat World album.

[cwickham]

HALL OF SHAME

G&T Admin goes through all 78 1⁄10 pages of ideas for episodes to make a list commemorating all the truly funny ones, but goes insane once they get to the third new version of “Only the Good…”

[cwickham]

ALL THE GOODS

All the new re-edits of “Only the Good…” are combined into one episode which reveals that Elton John, Golden Shred marmalade, Fred MacAulay, Marcus Brigstocke, Barry Cryer, a passing ice-cream salesman, Peter Bone, Tony from Men Behaving Badly, Russell Brand, Jonathan Ross, the Bulgarian unit of currency, a sentient toy bear, an unpopular Radio 1 DJ, Kevin Pietersen, Beverley Knight, Sir Trevor McDonald, Batman, Doug having a premonition of what Dwarf fandom will be reduced to twenty years later, Dave Gorman, Sophie Ellis-Bextor, no-one, the Fantastic Four, the Ninth Doctor, Greta Thunberg, Lee Mack and a giant kitten all simultaneously arrived on board Red Dwarf and were each 3.85% responsible for saving the day.

[cwickham]

I SNEER FOR AN EPISODE

Rimmer sneers at Lister, because the search function indicates this incredibly obvious pun hasn’t been done yet.

[Dave]

CYRIL SNEER FOR AN EPISODE

Red Dwarf crosses over with The Raccoons.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

I STEER FOR AN EPISODE

Rimmer demands to be allowed to sit up front in Starbug and using the steering controls, despite not being able to touch anything.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

I QUEER FOR AN EPISODE

Title of that bit in Blue.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

I NEAR FOR AN EPISODE

Title of any episode that anyone has attended a recording of, and thus sat quite near to all the action.

[Dave]

PANGEA FOR AN EPISODE

Red Dwarf travels to Earth 175 million years ago and crashes into the planet’s supercontinent, breaking it into pieces.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

PANTERA FOR AN EPISODE

The crew join heavy metallers Pantera for an inexplicable musical crossover episode.

[cwickham]

BLUE SUED SHOES

The estate of Elvis Presley brings a lawsuit against Grant Naylor Productions after one of their lawyers happens across a repeat of “Meltdown”.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

JAILHOUSE ROCK

After doing some time for the aforementioned legal transgression, Doug writes a second series of Red Dwarf set entirely in a prison, but only depicting Cat changing all the rock-genre vinyls on the record player.

[Dave]

PANT ERROR FOR AN EPISODE

Due to a wardrobe mistake, Rimmer dresses in his green tunic but his red trousers.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

RETURN TO SENDER

A post pod arrived on Red Dwarf but it turns out to be for the SS Scott Fitzgerald, therefore the send it back on its way with nothing else interesting of note happening

[desbug]

IDEA FOR OM EPISODE

Smeg and the heads stage a comeback tour.

[cwickham]

IDEA: FUR AN EPISODE

Episode produced with all costumes, sets, props, cameras, lighting equipment and actors made from fur.

[Dave]

BOOT/LEG MERCH

The official Red Dwarf store starts selling replicas of Rimmer’s emerald costume, but only of the foot, calf and thigh area.

[Dave]

BOOTLEG MECH

Kryten finds out he isn’t really a Series 4000 mechanoid after all, just a bloke in a suit.

[Dave]

BOOTLE MECH

Kryten goes to live in a small town in Merseyside.

[Dave]

BOTTLE MERCH

That replica Leopard Lager turns out to be a bit shit.

[Dave]

BOOTLEG MAC

Red Dwarf Series XIII sees Captain Hollister return, played by someone who looks a bit like the original actor.

[clem]

BOOTLEG MURCH

Oscar-winning film editor Walter Murch’s unsanctioned cut of Timewave. Running time: 4 minutes 17 seconds.

[clem]

BRUTAL EGG MERCH

Lister paints pictures of Mugs Murphy on loads of chicken ovulations for Easter.

[cwickham]

BAD BOOTLE LEG

Paul Nuttall shows up, and everyone kicks him really hard in the shins.

[cwickham]

A-HANLY THE GOOD

New version of Only the Good which resolves the cliffhanger by revealing Alan Partridge turned up to save the day.

[cwickham]

HANLY THE GOOD

New version of Only the Good which resolves the cliffhanger by revealing Han Solo turned up to save the day.

[Dave]

ONLY D.GOODHEW

Documentary about Duncan Goodhew.

[cwickham]

ONLY THE GOODHEW

New version of Only the Good which resolves the cliffhanger by revealing Duncan Goodhew turned up to save the day.

[Dave]

ONLY THE BADHEW

Duncan Goodhew journeys to the mirror universe.

[cwickham]

GOODHEWS, BADHEWS

The Dwarfers play a game where they have to alternate good and bad news pertaining to Duncan Goodhew.

[cwickham]

HAVE I GOT HEWS FOR YOU

The Dwarfers begin broadcasting a topical panel show presented by Duncan Goodhew.

[cwickham]

HEWS OF THE WORLD

Lister sings a rock song about Duncan Goodhew.

[cwickham]

THE HEWS QUIZ

The Dwarfers begin broadcasting a radio panel show where all the questions somehow pertain to Duncan Goodhew.

[cwickham]

WAITING FOR GOODHEW

Lister discovers that the Cat Peoples’ god is not him but, in fact, Duncan Goodhew.

[cwickham]

GOODHEWED

Lister and Rimmer are stranded on a crashed Starbug with Duncan Goodhew.

[cwickham]

RUSSELL HOWARD’S GOODHEWS

Ill-advised Sky One chat show presented by Russell Howard, Duncan Goodhew, and his wife Annie.

[cwickham]

BRITAIN’S SMEGGIEST HOME COOK

Mary Berry arrives on board Red Dwarf to challenge the crew to a cookery-based task, but she is sued by the makers of Can’t Smeg Won’t Smeg for plagiarism.

[Author]

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