Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Jokes you don't/didn't get

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  • #268158
    Dave
    Participant

    Is it something the show made up?

    I always assumed this.

    #268159
    Warbodog
    Participant

    A generalised American-courting reference, I think. Boston / Rhode Island area has old money families / American posh associations, but it’s cultural shorthand I only picked up in recent years.

    #268161
    Jenuall
    Participant

    “Blue chip stock” always struck me as a piece of American terminology as well so I always assumed the whole bit was US leaning

    #268162
    Rudolph
    Participant

    I thought it was as much of an extrapolation as his one about Sebastian Doyle being a philandering, bank robbing killer on the run.

    #268163
    Jenuall
    Participant

    It was Billy who was the granny killer, Sebastian was the fascist “purifier” of democracy.

    He’d do quite well in the current UK government. Probably be held back for being a bit tame if anything

    #268214
    Rudolph
    Participant

    It was Billy who was the granny killer, Sebastian was the fascist “purifier” of democracy.

    He’d do quite well in the current UK government. Probably be held back for being a bit tame if anything

    True, but my point still stands – just as much an extrapolation based on a label from a suitcase.

    Rt. Hon. Billy ‘Granny Killer’ Doyle, MP would make a fine Home Secretary, though.

    #268215

    They extrapolate who he might be, be the reference to a particular family with the same name has to in their world if not ours be real people. Unless you’re suggesting Rimmer’s just making The Boston Doyle’s up, which would be a bit weird to do.

    #268216
    Dave
    Participant

    The despair squid made him hallucinate The Boston Doyles.

    #268221
    Warbodog
    Participant

    Unless you’re suggesting Rimmer’s just making The Boston Doyle’s up, which would be a bit weird to do.

    I think it’s just that, plucking a name out of thin air that he pretends he’s heard of to desperately backpedal on his earlier assessment.

    Weird, but as Cat points out when they metaphorically explore his mind, he’s a weird guy.

    #268223
    Warbodog
    Participant

    Just had the realisation that Doyle’s an Irish name, and apparently Boston’s very Irishey. So Rimmer’s mind went there rather than Ireland.

    #268304
    Warbodog
    Participant

    Cat: “What are you wearing!?”

    Is there a joke here drawing attention to Cat’s new over-the-top outfit and amusing lack of self-awareness, or does he just look good, so is qualified to pass scorn on young Lister? I wouldn’t know and the audience doesn’t seem to either.

    #268305
    Jenuall
    Participant

    Regardless of what Cat’s wearing I think it’s fine to pass judgement on young Lister’s outfit, it’s a disgrace in any era!

    For the most part I think Cat’s outfit here works, but the hat is definitely causing some trouble in the cool-ness stakes

    #268306
    Dave
    Participant

    It looks like something Grace Jones would wear.

    That’s not necessarily a compliment.

    #268307

    Sounds like a pretty big compliment to me.

    #268308
    GlenTokyo
    Participant

    Cat: “What are you wearing!?”

    Is there a joke here drawing attention to Cat’s new over-the-top outfit and amusing lack of self-awareness, or does he just look good, so is qualified to pass scorn on young Lister? I wouldn’t know and the audience doesn’t seem to either.

    I think it’s the comparison to Lister now as much as anything.

    If you’ve known someone to dress like Mr Bean for years and then they turn up looking like Theophilus P. Wildebeeste you’d probably say similar.

    #268355
    Warbodog
    Participant

    Historical references you didn’t get: a familiar line in Discworld led to me tracing the source of Rimmer’s “I don’t know about the enemy, but you certainly the scare the hell out of me,” which turns out to be paraphrasing the Duke of Wellington. I expect everyone except me knew this already.

    #268356
    Dave
    Participant

    I never knew that. I always thought it was supposed to be a comical inadvertent double-meaning – ie. Rimmer should be scared because his army is so shit.

    #268357
    Dave
    Participant

    If you’ve known someone to dress like Mr Bean for years and then they turn up looking like Theophilus P. Wildebeeste you’d probably say similar.

    The Black Russian

    #268358

    Watching Titanic and some toff asks Jack Dawson (Leo’s character) if he is of the Boston Dawson’s.

    Either a complete coincidence or a lot of rich families live in Boston and that’s the “Boston Doyle” ref.

    #268359
    Warbodog
    Participant

    If Snacky had been in series V, his dialling code would have been for a city that was rather amusing for Americans, I guess.

    #268360
    Hamish
    Participant

    Nebraska.

    #268521
    loadoftottnumb
    Participant

    Hello, long time listener etc…

    One joke I sort of ‘get’ but sort of don’t is the joke about ‘being stuck behind one in the cinema’ about the aliens who poo out of their heads. Why would they do it at the cinema? I mean maybe if it was a really scary film but still, you’d thin they’d take precautions (hat pants of some kind, Blackadder style) if that was a possibility.

    #268522
    Dave
    Participant

    I always loved that joke precisely because it’s such an unexpected and absurd situation that it paints.

    #268523

    I always assumed it’s because you’d have their arse/genitalia blocking your view, rather than them pissing or shitting everywhere.

    #268524
    si
    Participant

    Yeah, but if they farted? That could be silent but violent.

    #268525
    Dave
    Participant

    Yeah, but if they farted? That could be silent but violent.

    That’s true wherever the fart emanates from, though.

    I assumed that Lister is visualising active head-top-shittery blocking his view of the film. It’s funnier that way.

    Let’s hope this doesn’t become another Cinzano Bianco.

    #268526
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    The poo is coming from the “top of their heads”, so it’s unlikely to be the view being obscured by an areshole, and more likely the shit coming out of it, hitting people in close proximity.

    It doesn’t make sense though bearing in mind that Rimmer has said that, in his analogy, the aliens still visit the “little boys’ room”. (The whole point of this is supposed to be that aliens still use bog roll).

    #268527
    Dave
    Participant

    Maybe it is simply that you’d be seeing a massive arse rather than someone’s head then. I guess the top of someone’s head is the only bit of them you see when sat behind them at the cinema so the joke works that way.

    #268528
    Dave
    Participant

    Someone should ask Rob again on Twitter just to be sure.

    #268531

    The poo is coming from the “top of their heads”, so it’s unlikely to be the view being obscured by an areshole,

    I’d always visualised it as it’s being two antenna like things coming out of the top of the head, of which waste excretes from.

    Whatever the anatomy though, whether it’s an arse instead of a head or more than that, you wouldn’t want to be staring into the back of it or have it in your peripheral vision whilst trying to watch a movie.

    All this really does is highlight how different people read jokes differently when it’s sort of left to interpretation.

    I’d gather from Lister’s reaction he probably is more concerned about them shitting everywhere, but more realistically would be just having to look at somethings arse for 2 hours!

    #268532
    Dave
    Participant

    I’d gather from Lister’s reaction he probably is more concerned about them shitting everywhere, but more realistically would be just having to look at somethings arse for 2 hours!

    Unless it was Felicity Kendal.

    #268534
    Warbodog
    Participant

    Remember that the hypothetical alien used most of a bog roll during what was presumably a short visit, so Lister may be visualising a copious amount of head-arse shit. I always visualised it shooting out like one of those snakes-in-a-can.

    #268536
    Dave
    Participant

    I always visualised it shooting out like one of those snakes-in-a-can.

    I thought of it more as a sputtering volcano of shit.

    #268538
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Remember that the hypothetical alien used most of a bog roll during what was presumably a short visit, so Lister may be visualising a copious amount of head-arse shit. I always visualised it shooting out like one of those snakes-in-a-can.

    This is pretty much what I visualise, but we’re also told that aliens still visit the little boys’ room, so they wouldn’t be shitting in the middle of the cinema.

    If Rimmer had said “aliens still need to wipe their arse” rather than “aliens still need to visit the little boys’ room”, Lister’s fears would make sense.

    #268539
    Warbodog
    Participant

    What if the alien really used all the bog roll because it had a massive wank?

    #268540
    clem
    Participant

    Now I’m trying to imagine what an alien little boys’ room would be like. If we’re talking about a basically humanoid lifeform but with an arsehole on the top of its head, to use a normal toilet I suppose it’d have to do a handstand on the seat to position its anus over the bowl, which doesn’t sound very practical, so I’m thinking some kind of suction pipe might have to be involved.

    #268542

    Maybe it’d just be a bit smelly.

    #268545
    si
    Participant

    Now *this* is a discussion and a half.

    #268546

    *cough* wafflemen *cough*

    #268547
    loadoftottnumb
    Participant

    Well I’m glad I was able to generate a nice discussion, though I don’t think we have got a consensus yet.

    My thoughts were that Lister was worried about being pooed on by an alien head arse but I really don’t know.

    #268555
    Warbodog
    Participant

    Having someone use or swipe the bog roll during the events of Stasis Leak would have been a nice Easter egg. One for the novelisation.

    #268642
    Jenuall
    Participant

    I always went with the “Lister us worried about aliens shitting on him in the cinema” interpretation, even if it is absurd!

    #268643
    By Jove its holmes
    Participant

    What if Felicity Kendall was like the movie “Orlando” and right at the peak of “the Good Life” wakes up one morning having transformed into a man? Would Lister still be turned on?

    #268661
    Warbodog
    Participant

    This one from The Log confused me when I was 13 and it still took some working out when I sought it out today, but I think I might have it now.

    Has the child flushed something of value, so the legs are the (parent/maid) imagining themselves having to dig it back out?

    I thought they were scared that the kid had flushed themselves down the bog (unrealistic) or made a mess (doesn’t match illustration), but neither of those ever really made sense.

    #268662
    Dave
    Participant

    I assumed it was such a massive shit that the toilet was blocked and would overflow.

    The illustration does seem like a bit of a red herring/misreading.

    #268663
    By Jove its holmes
    Participant

    el presidente

    #268664
    Warbodog
    Participant

    I assumed it was such a massive shit that the toilet was blocked and would overflow.

    I suppose a child would lack the experience and foresight to preemptively break it up more than an adult would, so that’s probably it. Shame about the confusing pictures and words.

    #268667
    Unrumble
    Participant

    The illustration does seem like a bit of a red herring

    A red herring could feasibly cause a blockage, if well-fed

    #268677
    Russ L
    Participant

    I think that the figure in the picture is definitely a red herring, but in a different way. Unless that toilet door is really small then she is presumably standing a notable distance in front of it (stock Fr. Ted joke etc)

    She’s a fair distance away thinking about an entirely unrelated toilet/ankle mishap, while the child in the toilet’s quiet “Uh oh” goes unheard. We’ll never know what befell the poor kid.

    On a separate note, I like the way that she’s used the bits cut off her mullet to line the ankles of her booties.

    #268680
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    If you’re in the cinema and you hear the voice of one of the blowhole-anus aliens in the row ahead going ‘Uh, oh’, it’s already too late.

    #268684
    Dave
    Participant

    Not really a joke, but I only just realised on my umpteenth viewing of Fathers & Suns that Lister uses Pree and her predictive abilities to help him record his video, so that he’ll know what his own responses will be.

    #268685

    Yes it, like the actual kidney bootstrap paradox, is strangely underplayed in an era which still has a fair few VIII-esque overdone moments.

    #268720
    GlenTokyo
    Participant

    Sort of a joke, but Mogadon, of “pan-dimensional liquid beast” fame is a benzodiazepine sleeping tablet.

    Thought it as just a funny name.

    Had a look at the similar formula ‘Vidal beast of Sharmutt II’ and Sharmutt is Arabic for Bitch apparently.

    #269713

    In the cleaning montage in Kryten, what does he do to the skutter and why is it so funny? I’ve been wondering this for the best part of 25 years.

    #269714
    clem
    Participant

    Pokes it in the eyes to stun it so he can grab hold of it and clean it with his cloth.

    #269715
    Warbodog
    Participant

    I wondered what was so funny about the Skutter in the US pilot, only just noticed (checking the more recent, less blocky upload) that it gives Rimmer the finger.

    #269716
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    In the cleaning montage in Kryten, what does he do to the skutter and why is it so funny? I’ve been wondering this for the best part of 25 years.

    I wonder if they filmed a longer struggle between the two of them, and that’s why there’s such a big audience reaction for Kryten losing his patience and poking the Skutter in the eyes in the little bit that we see.

    #269717

    Ah, he pokes it in the eyes! I’ve never been able to work it out at all.

    #269719
    Warbodog
    Participant

    In Quarantine, I didn’t used to connect the double lobotomy and rubber wallpaper comments and thought the latter was just a reference to some crap/unfashionable home decor they should buy Lanstrom because they don’t like her.

    #269720
    Unrumble
    Participant

    Until embarrassingly recently, I’d always heard Lister say in ‘Kryten’ :
    “… he gets out a brush and mattock, and starts doing me lapels!”

    I assumed these were 2 small, separate cleaning implements specifically for lapels.

    I’ve only this minute Googled ‘mattock’, and discovered it’s an actual tool. Though probably not one you’d want near your lapels.

    Admittedly this is just a mis-hearing, rather than a misunderstanding of the meaning of the line.

    #269721
    GlenTokyo
    Participant

    #269722
    Rudolph
    Participant

    I thought Kryten and the skutter was him just giving it a thump on the head.

    #269847
    Moonlight
    Participant

    Probably old hat, probably not something I haven’t already said in this very thread – but as a kid I didn’t click that Lister got the severed hand from his double in The Inquisitor and figured that Lister was just the kind of creep who’d carry around a severed human hand. I didn’t even question it.

    I’ve mentioned many times before that the Japanese edit of this episode basically makes my kiddie head-canon into regular canon by keeping the “I can give you fifteen” punchline at the end but deleting minutes of scenes, including the totality of the alternate Lister and Kryten and when Lister uses the hand to unlock the door.

    Petition to rename the Japanese version “Bodysnatcher”.

    #269849
    Warbodog
    Participant

    Did they mainly scrap Bodysnatcher because it was too dark? That stopped being a concern after a few years, didn’t it.

    #269850
    Moonlight
    Participant

    I think it was over complexity, mainly? Stuff like that skutter scene, which was fantastic but those things couldn’t even successfully bang their own head on the wall in real life.

    #269939
    Loathsome American
    Participant

    Just learned literally minutes ago that Shake n Vac is a real product—a carpet freshener? I’d always assumed it was a reference to Shake n Bake—the seasoned breadcrumbs—but…science-fictiony? Like, in the future, on a spaceship, you will not bake your chicken and pork, you will have some sort of…vacuum cooking appliance.

    This has been a surprise, but a pleasant one, because I’d always thought that was a not-very-clever joke, and it’s much better knowing the Shake n Vac is actually a thing.

    #269940
    Dave
    Participant

    It puts the freshness back!

    #269941
    si
    Participant

    #270105
    Veeva
    Participant

    “If anyone needs me I’ll be taking a cold shower in liquid oxygen”

    1. Cat feels so disgusted in himself for lusting over the Psirens that he feels that he has to wash.

    2. The prospect of “spreading his seed” has made him so excited that he needs a cold shower.

    I always assumed it was some variation of the first, due to how the line is delivered. But I guess the second one makes more sense as it would be in-line with what people typically associate cold showers with.

    #270106
    GlenTokyo
    Participant

    “If anyone needs me I’ll be taking a cold shower in liquid oxygen”

    1. Cat feels so disgusted in himself for lusting over the Psirens that he feels that he has to wash.
    2. The prospect of “spreading his seed” has made him so excited that he needs a cold shower.
    I always assumed it was some variation of the first, due to how the line is delivered. But I guess the second one makes more sense as it would be in-line with what people typically associate cold showers with.

    Always the second one for me. Basically, he’s got so worked up at the prospect of being the main event at an orgy, that he needs to take a cold shower.

    A joke in the camp of “not thick Cat” as if he literal did, I’m not sure LOX would do anything for him unless he wants to snap it off. Knows his cryogenic materials.

    #270114
    RunawayTrain
    Participant

    Oh, I thought it was a combination of both – he needed to calm down but the way he says it also makes me think he’s disgusted with himself, and the liquid oxygen is an exaggeration to emphasise just how much he doesn’t want to be excited by that thought again (because Psirens rather than people).

    #270115
    Warbodog
    Participant

    I thought the same, except I didn’t know it was a lethal exaggeration and I took it as a clumsy reference to them having to conserve water supplies by making a passable liquid with the O/G unit or something.

    Psirens is my least watched episode of I-VI, so stuff like this and the duty-free shop haven’t been given much consideration.

    #270225
    Rudolph
    Participant

    Did they mainly scrap Bodysnatcher because it was too dark? That stopped being a concern after a few years, didn’t it.

    Wasn’t it a case of it being too complicated to film and that they couldn’t come up with an ending? I remember the DVD boxset being touted as Rob and Doug reuniting to finish off the script.

    #270613

    I’ve just realised the ‘slides’ in Timeslides refers to the photo slides and not them sliding through time.

    I can only attribute the fact I’d have originally seen Timeslides at a time Sliders was originally on TV and I just conflated the two things and just didn’t question it again for 25 years

    #270763
    Warbodog
    Participant

    As a kid, I was always confused about why Kryten smiles at the end of Ouroboros when he welcomes Kochanski aboard. I only had the Xtended version without the laugh track, so didn’t know whether there was supposed to be something funny going on.

    I think I get it now?

    #270767
    Warbodog
    Participant

    If the first one is the joke, it really requires a bare arse to work. I wonder if that was the original idea and it got overruled. Welcome aboard, Chloe.

    #270768
    Jenuall
    Participant

    That definitely is the joke. It works well enough in terms of function, it just isn’t very good

    #270769
    Dave
    Participant

    Yeah, it’s the idea that he looks like he’s about to warn her that her gown is tucked into her pants, and then doesn’t.

    Classic Dwarf.

    #270770
    GlenTokyo
    Participant

    I don’t get that.

    Is it an evil/mischievous smile? Like “I’m going to make your life hell”

    Is it an embarrassed sort of smile, like he’s shy about not being an arsehole?

    If it’s because her bum is out then it’s just weird, why would he care? He’d surely just say “Miss Kochanski Ma’am, your gown is open” because he’s a robot.

    Getting the only female cast member to get her arse out almost immediately is a timeline I’m glad we avoided, would have been unsurprising though with the general “randy teenager who is also a misogynist” tone of Red Dwarf in VII and VIII particularly.

    #270771
    Warbodog
    Participant

    I was so innocent. Fortunately, I entered puberty in time to appreciate all of series VIII’s hilarity.

    #270772
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    If you look closely, you can see Kryten’s actually looking at the camera.  This was the pilot episode of Krytie TV.

    #270776
    Dave
    Participant

    If it’s because her bum is out then it’s just weird, why would he care? He’d surely just say “Miss Kochanski Ma’am, your gown is open” because he’s a robot.

    #270777
    Warbodog
    Participant

    If it’s because her bum is out then it’s just weird, why would he care? He’d surely just say “Miss Kochanski Ma’am, your gown is open” because he’s a robot.

    #270778
    Dave
    Participant

    Every time I see something from Series X Kryten looks even less like Kryten than I remember.

    #270779
    loadoftottnumb
    Participant

    I don’t really get what Cat is going on about in Epideme (or maybe Nanarchy) with the Ping-Pong Championship and Yo-Yo Tournament. I mean I know he’s saying ‘haven’t you fucked things up enough?’ But I don’t get the analogy.

    #270780
    GlenTokyo
    Participant

    If it’s because her bum is out then it’s just weird, why would he care? He’d surely just say “Miss Kochanski Ma’am, your gown is open” because he’s a robot.

    You’re right, he’s a twat in that series so he’d probably mouth at Lister and Cat to have a look first, then say something “set phasers to bum”

    #270781
    Warbodog
    Participant

    I don’t really get what Cat is going on about in Epideme (or maybe Nanarchy) with the Ping-Pong Championship and Yo-Yo Tournament. I mean I know he’s saying ‘haven’t you fucked things up enough?’ But I don’t get the analogy.

    Cat is less concerned about Lister’s loss of an arm and impending death than the effect these things will have on their pastimes.

    Though it makes less sense now I think about it. Ping pong is mainly one-handed anyway, apart from serving (and I suppose balance). And a yo-yo tournament shouldn’t require an even number of players in the same way.

    #270792
    loadoftottnumb
    Participant

    You know what? Unbelievably I didn’t even associate the loss of an arm thing, that’s embarrassing, I thought Cat was just being #RandomLolz

    #271222
    clem
    Participant

    “Now, on to Dr Bob Porkman, father of the condom that calls you back…” Listening to the latest DwarfCast I realised I have no idea what this means.

    #271223
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    “Now, on to Dr Bob Porkman, father of the condom that calls you back…” Listening to the latest DwarfCast I realised I have no idea what this means.

    I interpret it to be about “posh wanks”. Though I guess the condom being a quasi-sentient participant in the act would also upgrade a 2-way to a 3-way.

    #271225
    Warbodog
    Participant

    I think you buy it for your partner to wear, to make sure they’ll stay in touch and won’t use you as a one night stand. Not necessarily sentient, but at least sends you some kind of notification when the feller doesn’t (blokes, eh?)

    #271226
    Warbodog
    Participant

    …which would require the guy to wash it and take it with him to use again…

    #271227
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Well, for these kind of “here’s a quick sci-fi concept” gags, I assume that the only key differences between the reality of the joke and actual reality will be in the joke itself. For “the condom that calls you back”, you shouldn’t have to intuit “in the future, men who would otherwise never call you back after a one night stand will either volunteer or be forced to wear condoms which give them no choice but to call you back, and inexplicably keep those used condoms on their person until they do.”

    #271229
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    OK, is the joke that Betty Boop isn’t as good or successful a cartoon as Mickey Mouse, or that she as a character is not as smart as Mickey Mouse?

    #271231
    si
    Participant

    For far too long, I did think that the condom shouted after you as you left.

    #271232
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    in the future, men who would otherwise never call you back after a one night stand will either volunteer or be forced to wear condoms which give them no choice but to call you back, and inexplicably keep those used condoms on their person until they do.

    #271233
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    #271235

    #271237
    RunawayTrain
    Participant

    “Now, on to Dr Bob Porkman, father of the condom that calls you back…” Listening to the latest DwarfCast I realised I have no idea what this means.

    I actually assumed that if the woman ended up pregnant anyway, it would be able to get the guy’s contact info and send them a message (or ring them, ‘calling’). I hadn’t thought beyond that though, to the *how* of it.
    But thinking a bit now, if there’s any need to keep it to contact him later, ew.

    That would also imply quite a low level of confidence in its efficacy, actually, to go to all the trouble of developing it; either that ir just really really valued the accidental life in making sure the kid would have both parents on the scene to provide even if they’re not together.

    I guess keeping in touch after a one-night stand makes more sense, even just for closure? (I don’t know, this is not even remotely my area) rather than never having any contact ever again.

    Could it be useful for drunken ONS, so they know who the other was after that night? Problematic though, given that drunkenness is not conducive to consent.

    I think I subconsciously assumed it transmits the information to a central database all part of the oberall system, so there’s a record of the partners (facilitating the ‘calling back’), and the condom itself can be thrown away. Anything involving needing to keep it would be utterly ick, unless it does the calling back from in the bin the next day or something.

    #271238
    Dave
    Participant

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