Sandwiches

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  • #243455

    bloodteller

    Has anyone ever tried the various sandwiches mentioned in Red Dwarf? Fried egg chilli chutney, banana and crisps, grilled cheese with sugar puffs, etc. If so, what did you think of them? I tried a fried egg chilli chutney sandwich a while ago, and honestly it just tasted like eating a big clumpy horrible spongy shit rubbery nasty mess with occasional hints of chilli sauce. Also I tried a grilled cheese with sugar puff sandwich, which was surprisingly actually alright, although there are much better things to be putting in your grilled cheese than cereals. Never tried banana and crisps, although I can’t imagine it being very good

    #243456

    Hamish

    Not being from the UK, I only just now learned that Sugar Puffs are a cereal.

    #243457

    bloodteller

    They’re called “Honey Monster Puffs” now for some reason, weirdly. Not sure what all that’s about, Sugar Puffs is a much better name. Who’s going to want to eat a cereal called “Monster Puffs”? It’s a bit too aggressive for breakfast time

    #243458

    Warbofrog

    ‘Mastersmeg: The Official Red Dwarf Cookbook – 20 Zany Recipes for Dwarfers’ is an obvious cash-in release that’s never happened.

    (From the mandatory, cringeworthy and implausible in-universe perspective of the characters writing the book, obviously).

    Maybe they didn’t want to be responsible for the health consequences.

    #243459

    GlenTokyo

    Series VII has the only food worth eating. Lobster (thermidor?), waffles, cheesy fried eggs, cottage cheese, tinned peaches, various curry dishes, afternoon tea, roast chicken.

    Better than a pea on toast anyway.

    #243460

    Warbofrog

    Page 5
    A Pea on Toast by Queeg 500

    Ingredients:
    1 slice bread, toasted
    1 pea, tinned

    Serves:
    1 sucker

    Directions:
    Okay suckers, get this into your stupid, thick heads. There’s only one thing I’m going to say to you: toast bread in a toaster until brown, place pea… Did someone mention toast? Oh Gordon Bennett, who let him etc etc etc. Essential stocking stuffer Christmas 2019.

    #243461

    quinn_drummer

    Series VII has the only food worth eating.

    “Goodbye waffles, goodbye maple syrup, goodbye fresh cream,
    so long fresh strawberries.”

    #243462

    quinn_drummer

    Have we ever actually seen Lister eat a curry?

    Tikka to Ride Xtended aside, where he dips a napkin in curry sauce, we never actually see him sit down with an actual Indian meal do we?

    #243464

    Pete Part Three

    Shit Sandwich

    Ingredients:
    5 crap stories
    1 Resurrected Red Dwarf crew
    250 rubbish bits of dialogue

    Preparation
    Very little required.

    Directions
    Stretch the five crap stories over eight episodes, garnish with the rubbish bits of dialogue.

    Serves
    No purpose whatsoever

    #243465

    Dave

    Tikka to Ride Xtended aside, where he dips a napkin in curry sauce, we never actually see him sit down with an actual Indian meal do we?

    He has a curry while in Better Than Life doesn’t he? And they have one in Jane Austen world at the end of Beyond A Joke. I guess they’re both virtual curries though.

    #243468

    Darrell

    22 years of thinking fried eggs coated in cheese sounds really nice but my wise old arteries refusing to let me put this into practice.

    #243469

    quinn_drummer

    He has a curry while in Better Than Life doesn’t he? And they have one in Jane Austen world at the end of Beyond A Joke. I guess they’re both virtual curries though.

    That’s true. For someone that apparently only eats curry, we only ever see him eat 2. If someone ate curry twice in their life you wouldn’t say that person constantly ate curry would you.

    #243470

    bloodteller

    He eats one in Waiting For God and Holoship as well, doesn’t he

    #243471

    quinn_drummer

    Not sure about Waiting for God, but I suppose the most obvious example is DNA when they turn his curry into the curry monster!

    Ok, maybe Lister does eat more curry then I noticed.

    #243472

    International Debris

    Not sure about Waiting for God

    We see him order a vindaloo for breakfast.

    If we’re using the term curry to broadly mean ‘spicy food vaguely of Indian origin’, then the shami kebab should count too.

    #243473

    Warbofrog

    Still, it was interesting to very briefly entertain the idea that “Lister eats curry” might be a “beam me up Scotty”/”elementary” type popular myth. Even with the original post saying “aside from that time.”

    I tried to think if any of the main characters never say “smeg,” but I think it’s only Kochanski who doesn’t. Holly says it once(?) in White Hole, Cat in Bodyswap and maybe elsewhere.

    #243474

    quinn_drummer

    Still, it was interesting to very briefly entertain the idea that “Lister eats curry” might be a “beam me up Scotty”/”elementary” type popular myth. Even with the original post saying “aside from that time.”

    That’s sort of what I was thinking, but rushed to post then made a prat of myself.

    Anyway, back to the sandwiches, I’ve not had it, but banana and crisp sounds like it should work. Might give it a go. Bananas liven anything up. I was at Asia De Cuba at the St Martins Lane hotel in London for our staff Christmas party last month and they had banana in with the fried squid rings, was bloody delicious.

    #243475

    quinn_drummer

    On the subjects of characters not doing what they’re known to do, we never see Kryten clean a toilet, but then I guess we do see him doing every other domestic task.

    #243476

    Warbofrog

    Only in B-“canon.”

    #243477

    si

    we never see Kryten clean a toilet

    Enjoy watching bogs being washed, do you? Dear Dave, Cat’s desperate for paper and walking like he’s shat himself… Yeah, I’d love to see that being given a good shining.

    #243478

    GlenTokyo

    Lister is eating a curry in Marooned too.

    #243482

    Hamish

    Wasn’t that a case of Craig Charles just bringing his Lunch on set in Marooned?

    #243483

    Warbofrog

    I hope that’s true and not just a joke. Like Rick Wakeman having a curry delivered to the stage because he was bored playing in Yes.

    #243484

    GlenTokyo

    There’s a line from Rimmer about it:

    “Look, if you get curry all over them, how’s that going to look? What’s Lieutenant-General Baron Jaquinaux of the First Cavalry Division supposed to be doing with meat vindaloo all over his tunic?”

    #243486

    Lily

    >Series VII has the only food worth eating. Lobster (thermidor?), waffles, cheesy fried eggs, cottage cheese, tinned peaches, various curry dishes, afternoon tea, roast chicken.

    Is there any ketchup?

    #243514

    Dave

    At this rate it might be easier to identify the episodes where Lister *doesn’t* eat curry.

    #243515

    Warbofrog

    Bob brings him a chicken vindaloo in Pete Part 1.

    #243516

    GlenTokyo

    quinn_drummer with a worrying curry blindspot.

    #243543

    quinn_drummer

    The irony being that when I frequented the reddwarf.co.uk forums I went by the name curry monster.

    I feel ashamed and would hand in my membership card if I had one.

    #243545

    Ben Saunders

    >Not sure what all that’s about, Sugar Puffs is a much better name.
    Sugar is bad, innit.

    I had a sugar puff sandwich once. It was… not very good. Sugar puffs and butter just don’t go, plus it’s just dry cereal, which some people seem to love but always just makes me long for some milk.

    #243548

    GlenTokyo

    Sugar Puffs and milk barely go and that’s their intended purpose, so I’m unsurprised to learn they’re not great on bread Feels like you’re eating fluff from a tumble dryer.

    #243549

    Ben Saunders

    >Kochanski doesn’t say smeg
    Whoa really? Can’t believe Holly only said it once either

    Has -anyone- ever said “beam me up, person” in Star Trek? I feel like it’s a totally taboo thing to do, forbidden, so meta it would cause the whole star trek universe to collapse in on itself

    #243550

    Hamish

    There was one Shatnerverse audio book which was prized as one of the few audio recordings of Kirk speaking the phrase in character.

    #243551

    Warbofrog

    Star Trek IV has “Scotty, beam me up.” I don’t know if that was already a knowing wink by 1986.

    I don’t know about the newer films, surely Simon Pegg couldn’t resist doing some kind of reference.

    #243552

    Ben Saunders

    Well obviously they’ve gotten pretty close to saying it on dozens of occasions, but I was wondering if they ever said it verbatim. Hard to tell if it’s a knowing wink or just down to the fact that they do a lot of beaming in Trek and there’s only so many ways you can tell somebody to transport you

    #243554

    bloodteller

    >Sugar Puffs and milk barely go and that’s their intended purpose

    I circumvent this problem by eating my Sugar Puffs dry

    #243555

    bloodteller

    Not a big fan of milk on cereal really, it gets all moist and soggy. As I type this I’m eating a bowl of dry Grape Nuts and it’s pretty good

    #243644

    Plastic Percy

    I was wondering, does Cat ever refer to Lister by his name? To my mind, he only calls Rimmer by his name three times – in Better Than Life, Bodyswap and Blue.

    #243645

    Plastic Percy

    Additional: I’ve never had a Sugar Puff sandwich, but I did make a Coco Pops sandwich once. The chocolate mixed into the butter. Nice.

    #243647

    Pete Part Three

    CAT: Well. (Pointing to DEBBIE) Lister, female opposite. (Pointing to ARLENE) Rimmer, female opposite. Where’s mine?

    For one…

    #243649

    Warbofrog

    He tells Hogie “you want Lister” or something like that in The Beginning. Sounds weird.

    He also says “Rimmer” in Bodyswap at least.

    #243651

    Warbofrog

    Episodes where they don’t say smeg (according to fan transcribed scripts, anyway): Terrorform, Back to Reality, Emohawk, Pete Part 1, Twentica, Can of Worms, Cured.

    That’s more than a season smeg-free. Take that, Iain Collings.

    #243652

    Dave

    more than a season smeg-free

    This sounds like a doctors’ certification.

    #243666

    Pete Part Three

    I like it when they don’t say smeg.

    #243668

    Hamish

    Both Rimmer and Cat say Lister when pointing for Lister to be judged first in The Inquisitor.

    #243669

    si

    Way back when, I used to think that, in Back To Reality, Lister says, “Either we try to persuade it that we’re not that kind of oceanic salvage vessel, or”… (and this is where I made my mishearing) …”we Starbug pronto.”
    Which makes absolutely no sense, but it’s just the speed at which Craig delivers the line.

    #243670

    si

    Way back when, I used to think that, in Back To Reality, Lister says, “Either we try to persuade it that we’re not that kind of oceanic salvage vessel, or”… (and this is where I made my mishearing) …”we Starbug pronto.”
    Which makes absolutely no sense, but it’s just the speed at which Craig delivers the line.

    Shit, wrong thread. This is what comes of reading one thread on the laptop, whilst having just read another on the mobile.

    #243857

    Selby

    I tried making the triple decker chilli chutney fried egg sarnie. it was awesome – can recommend it.

    #243881

    bloodteller

    >I tried making the triple decker chilli chutney fried egg sarnie. it was awesome – can recommend it.

    When I tried making it, it was really horrible imo. But then maybe I wasn’t using the wrong ingredients

    #243884

    quinn_drummer

    I just remembered about 12 years ago ordering a prawn vindaloo because Lister said he’d never had one in Future Echos … I don’t really remember liking it much

    #243886

    Ben Saunders

    I wanted to order a chicken vindaloo once but my dad told me not to because it would just be unpleasantly hot. I’m not really into mega spicy foods so that pretty much convinced me to never have one ever

    #243887

    Warbofrog

    I had a spoonful of Edinburgh’s ‘Kismot Killer’ curry when a friend was dumb/macho enough to order it and didn’t get very far. It made the news a while after for hospitalising some people. Closest I’ve experienced to a Lister special.

    #243888

    bloodteller

    Just tried a banana n’ crisps sandwich for my Lunch. Can confirm it’s just as disgusting as it sounds. There are a lot of sandwich combos out there that sound disgusting but are actually really nice (peanut butter and gummy worms, for example) but banana and crisps sure as hell isn’t one

    #243890

    quinn_drummer

    I love hot food, but vindaloo takes the biscuit really, and just tastes of hot … good if you need to serve gone off meat I guess.

    I’m still convinced banana and crisp could work with the right crisp / flavour.

    Part of me wants to try banana and twiglet because twiglet sandwiches are awesome

    #243891

    International Debris

    Yeah, banana and crisp would be different depending on the crisp. For example, if you picked out all the fried plantains from Tyrell’s Swanky Veg crisps, then you’d effectively just have a banana sandwich. I’m less sure something like Walkers Sensations Chicken and Thyme would be suitable.

    #243892

    bloodteller

    >Yeah, banana and crisp would be different depending on the crisp. For example, if you picked out all the fried plantains from Tyrell’s Swanky Veg crisps, then you’d effectively just have a banana sandwich. I’m less sure something like Walkers Sensations Chicken and Thyme would be suitable.

    I don’t think they had Tyrell’s Swanky Veg back in Nazi Germany, did they? I mean I guess that doesn’t matter if you’re not going for accuracy, but still. Surely the way to go is real crisps

    #243893

    quinn_drummer

    So we need to research what crisps they had in Nazi German and what Von Stauffenberg’s favourite flavour was?

    I say Von Stauffenberg … because it was his own briefcase the bomb was hidden in, not Hitler’s. He planned to detonate it in a small concrete underground bunker which would have killed everyone in the room.

    As it happens they moved the meeting to above ground and it ended up behind a big oak table so the damage was somewhat minimised and obviously, Hitler survived. I think he may have even left before it went off.

    So anyway, if Red Dwarf can’t be bothered with accuracy, I don’t think we need to … otherwise we’d need to find three million year old eggs for the titular sarnie.

    #243894

    bloodteller

    Well actually the eggs didn’t exist, since the sandwich was a hologram generated by Holly. So if we’re going for accuracy, somehow we’d need to assemble a sandwich made entirely of light

    #243895

    bloodteller

    I guess you could call it a light snack

    #243898

    quinn_drummer

    I guess you could call it a light snack

    Bravo, well done!!

    To the larger point then, as that is a good point … so why was Holly worried about the state of the floor?

    #243899

    Ben Saunders

    >Gummy worms in a sandwich
    Yikes

    I had a sugar sandwich once just out of curiosity because I heard that’s something people (used to?) East when they’re on very little money. It wasn’t great. Tasted kind of okay but the texture was just horrible. There are certain things that just don’t go with butter – cereal, sugar grains, gummy worms.

    Things I have had in a sandwich that turned out to be great, though: Super Noodles, various microwaves meals (curry etc), a scotch pie.

    >Good if you need to serve gone off meat I guess
    Isn’t that actually the idea behind super hot curry? I’ve definitely heard something like that before, but maybe not specifically that

    #243900

    quinn_drummer

    Isn’t that actually the idea behind super hot curry? I’ve definitely heard something like that before, but maybe not specifically that

    My understanding is, and this is probably one of those truths that has been distorted so it is more myth now, that once we learned of curry from the middle east, the Navy etc would slosh curry / spices on meat that was indeed a bit rotten on long sea trips etc.

    That’s partly why British curry is not really anything like Indian curry, because we kind of adapted it to our tastes over hundreds of years and because a lot of Indian dishes don’t really use meat. There are some, but not nearly to the extent we have on our menus.

    #243901

    Lily

    >I had a sugar sandwich once just out of curiosity because I heard that’s something people (used to?) East when they’re on very little money.

    I grew up on banana and sugar sandwiches. They were a treat for Sunday night tea. The soft banana and crunch of the sugar was a great mix!

    #243903

    GlenTokyo

    Sugar and margarine sandwiches innit, basically a buttercream sandwich. Not for me but I’ve heard many a tale of their deliciousness from my parents.

    #243904

    Ben Saunders

    Aye I’ve heard many people, including my parents, say that they loved sugar sandwiches when they were wee. But I’d rather just have a banana sandwich, or jam etc

    #243905

    Dave

    Fried jam sandwiches coated in egg were a staple of my youth.

    #243906

    Ben Saunders

    Good lord.

    #243907

    Pete Part Three

    I’m partial to an egg in soup.

    #243908

    bloodteller

    A sandwich combo a friend of mine always used to have was ketchup and butter. He had it almost every day at lunch for 5 years (on the days he didn’t, it was just butter) and it looked fucking nasty. I guess everyone has their sandwich preference

    #243941

    Ben Saunders

    Nothing wrong with a butter sandwich, honestly. Good quality white bread and a bit of Clover, a nice quick bite.

    #243943

    GlenTokyo

    Clover

    *Spits* haven’t you got anything better than this hogwash?! We’re used to the best.

    Kerrygold or gtfo

    #243947

    Plastic Percy

    Egg in soup. Serve that with a pork pie or sausage roll.

    Or you can just grab a Wimpy.

    #243948

    Ben Saunders

    Egg and soup is just like ramen innit, which is really fucking good

    #243958

    International Debris

    Bread and butter on its own is reasonable enough. It’s obviously a million times better with a nice – ideally fresh – loaf, but it’s a good way to quickly fill a hole. And an excellent side to a meal, of course.

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