Who has has a Red Dwarf dream?

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

I ask because I wanted to tell you about a weird Red Dwarf related dream I had yesterday.

Me and Ian (for some reason, we’ve spoken but never actually met) were in a a warehouse discussing how ridiculous the pencil shaped CGI Red Dwarf was. We’d found some test recording of the original pencil model, but it was double barrelled. Not just two Red Dwarfs side by side, but the right hand side had the front and ran back so somewhere in the middle of the ship (though about the same length as seen on screen, then next to it on the left, the middle of the ship continues, but level with the front of the ship, down to the back which sat level with the middle of the part on the right hand side.

Confused? It looked like this http://imgur.com/a/9kQeL

Now, remember we’re in this warehouse. Well this dishevelled old man that looks like a homeless Doc Brown from BTTF arrived and opens this box containing the model we had seen in this test shot. He keeps pulling bits out like a magician removing handkerchiefs from his sleeve. Piece my piece until this full length model is presented to us.

Now, you know how dreams change location but you know you’ve always been there? Well suddenly me and Ian are at my dead grandparents house, except my granddad isn’t dead. He seems quite happy that me and Ian have decided to suspend this model from his ceiling, starting in the back bedroom and snaking all around the top floor of his house.

At this point the model is 12 meters long (we measured it in the dream) and its more akin to the small RD model that come with one of the DVDs (series 6?) … but none the less we’re convinced this is the original 12 meter model build with the intention of shooting it for remasters.

All that stuff about how the current model is a cut down version of a 12ft model that was scanned for CGI … well that 12ft model, in my dream, was a cut down 12m model that look ridiculous.

And that’s all me and Ian could say to each other, and that we’re lucky the version that ended up on series 8 and the re-mastered wasn’t as bad as this monstrosity … and what were they thinking building this ship that ended up looking like a small red snake, winding its way around the ceiling of my grandparents house.

Topic

[Technopeasant]

My main reaction was complete panic and stress, trying to figure out how G&T should cover six episodes that release simultaneously.

Be glad this isn’t a King of the Hill fan site.

[Technopeasant]

I mean, it is an accurate description.

[Asclepius]

The second episode was about Cat trying to convince Lister to suck him off, and was called The One Where Everyone Gets Sucked Off. 

Two points here. A) a wet dream?

Had a dream last night that an entire series of Red Dwarf was made in secret without any of us knowing. They somehow managed to keep it quiet throughout production…

Second point. I let myself hopelessly, pathetically believe that ‘The War Between The Land and the Sea’ was going to be similar – a ‘secret’ third Ncuti season of Dr. Who. Why would it be secret? Because I thought RTD might have masterminded an amazing 4-D chess scenario where he keeps telling us the show is ending (as he did on Newsround), that Disney hadn’t confirmed any new series yet, and that the whole of last series was suggesting it was coming to an end (With the various Mrs. Flood references to that sort of thing) etc. So I hoped against hope that he was going to pull an amazing rabbit out of his hat. But he didn’t. He really didn’t. 

[Asclepius]

Had a dream last night that an entire series of Red Dwarf was made in secret without any of us knowing. They somehow managed to keep it quiet throughout production, but then when it was ready, the BBC accidentally put it all on iPlayer. My main reaction was complete panic and stress, trying to figure out how G&T should cover six episodes that release simultaneously.
As for the series itself, it was controversially called Series XIII, and it was absolutely shit. The second episode was about Cat trying to convince Lister to suck him off, and was called The One Where Everyone Gets Sucked Off. There was also a musical episode, which was rubbish, but Danny got his keyboard out and did some amazing music theory analysis on the Live DwarfCast, so it was all worth it for that.

Also…

[Asclepius]

‘sucking off’ really is one of those phrases that stops looking like actual words if you repeatedly type it. As well as making no biological sense whatsoever.

[Dave]

[Dave]

Second point. I let myself hopelessly, pathetically believe that ‘The War Between The Land and the Sea’ was going to be similar – a ‘secret’ third Ncuti season of Dr. Who. Why would it be secret? Because I thought RTD might have masterminded an amazing 4-D chess scenario where he keeps telling us the show is ending (as he did on Newsround), that Disney hadn’t confirmed any new series yet, and that the whole of last series was suggesting it was coming to an end (With the various Mrs. Flood references to that sort of thing) etc. So I hoped against hope that he was going to pull an amazing rabbit out of his hat. But he didn’t. He really didn’t. 

This is like that time that Sherlock fans convinced themselves that there was a secret fourth episode of the final series coming because the finale was so awful.

[Warbodog]

Or that Timewave was a precision-crafted meta joke.

[Technopeasant]

 Be glad this isn’t a King of the Hill fan site.

Or indeed, it now seems, a Futurama one.

[sleepey]

This is like that time that Sherlock fans convinced themselves that there was a secret fourth episode of the final series coming because the finale was so awful.

The Yard Between the Apple & the Tree

[RunawayTrain]

I had a dream about box set covers!  I had the blu-ray box set cover (and as dreamworld things are, not entirely realistic and in the dream I couldn’t remember whether it was because I already had the box set or if it was a previous box set or – well, you get the picture).  I had been at a dreamworld type of performance of some kind with all sorts of performers and it morphed into something backstage but I was looking through a window into an area where the Red Dwarf cast were in their box set outfits and acting out little snippets and then took a bow with the knowledge that was the last time.  And then I got to examining the cover – I went to peel off a layer (?) and the outer came off to reveal blue card with the surface texture of eggboxes, and they’d been assembled by hand.  On the underside of either the front or the back there were lots of little dots of glue and handwritten in sharpie ‘try the (squishies?)’ and some other instructions and notes.  Then there turned out to be a middle layer in the back listing what was on each disc, all five of them, professionally designed and printed and I was confused why it was hidden as part of the box and not inside where you’d expect a little leaflet.  I concluded for some reason it must have been a prototype and still couldn’t remember whether I had the discs or why I had it.  (Then the dream moved on to something that was a mix of historical recreation on an open hill/seaside site and being judged on participation in the reenacted community – I think it might have been linked to the original performance still – so no more Red Dwarf in the dream after that.)

[Android 72264Y]

I had a Red Dwarf x Persona 4 one where Duane Dibbley and Ace Rimmer pass through an unreality pocket and crash land in Inaba (the main setting of the game). Ace explains to the Protagonist (Yu) that Emohawk is afoot and needs their help.

[Ridley]

needs their help.

*(send aid)

[International Debris]

Dreamt that I was watching some previously unseen smeg ups, including one where Chris was nude and kept getting an erection which popped up into camera range and they had to keep cutting. Eventually he got annoyed and cursed the tablets he’d taken to keep it flaccid for not working.

[Ian Symes]

Had you just watched both Back in the Red (Part Two) and Pete (Part One) before falling asleep?

[Warbodog]

Chris was nude and kept getting an erection which popped up into camera range and they had to keep cutting.

[Android 72264Y]

*(send aid)

Funnily enough, I woke up right after Chie entered Starbug to Galactic Punt it.

[Ridley]

Stay naturally erect, Chris. Come on.

[Flap Jack]

Has there ever been a sitcom episode about an actor who accidentally books himself to film a nude scene in a 12A movie and a scene in a porn film on the same day, and so he has to keep rushing back and forth between the 2 sets without anyone noticing, and he has to ensure he doesn’t get them confused and is always the appropriate level of erect?

[Dave]

A Priapism Among Men

[Technopeasant]

[Dave]

Had a strange dream last night that I happened to be staying in the same hotel as the four main cast members in Canada, when a covid-style lockdown happened and all the residents were forced to live there together for an extended period. While it started off fun, everyone got on each other’s nerves after a bit, especially as Craig kept insisting that the radio be switched on and set to his own Radio 6 show at all times. Eventually I started trying to secretly record conversations with them to get inside information on when the next series or special was being made, but they kept steering the conversations back to banal topics.

[Unrumble]

Eventually I started trying to secretly record conversations with them to get inside information on when the next series or special was being made, but they kept steering the conversations back to banal topics.

Classic wines of Estonia?

[Ian Symes]

As a follow up to my previous dream, a further secretly-made production was released last night. 2x 90 minute specials, designed to bring the show to a close. I watched the first part (on BBC One, for some reason), which ended with the cliffhanger that, in a Back To Earth style twist, all of the novels and spin-off books were real in-universe. Doug Naylor turned up as himself, and revealed that there’s a secret message hidden within the books, and he’d been planning this for the last 37 years, hiding a major revelation about the show in plain sight. Over the credits, there was a series of initialisms and numbers, which indicated a book, page, line and word.

Immediately after the episode finished, I retrieved the books and pieced together the message. It read:

“Rimmer is going to shit when he sees Ian Symes.”

I raced to G&T to let the world know, but unfortunately I was impeded when I was attacked by a bear.

[Flap Jack]

Riveting stuff. Can’t wait for Dream 3 in the series, where you successfully fight off the bear, and then reveal it was actually Rob Grant in a costume, who was trying to stop Rimmer from seeing you and shitting.

“I can’t let you go! If Rimmer shits, the show is over, and then I’ll never be able to make my own 2 part finale! I already have Andrew Marshall pre-committed!”

[Technopeasant]

Are ursine encounters common in your dreams?

[Ian Symes]

The bear was a one-off, but the theme of trying to communicate something but being stopped from doing so is very frequent.

[International Debris]

Yeah, I wonder if that’s a common thing in general, I always get dreams where I’m trying to text someone or note something down and autocorrect is so bad I literally can’t. 

[paintings]

Yeah, I wonder if that’s a common thing in general, I always get dreams where I’m trying to text someone or note something down and autocorrect is so bad I literally can’t.

Dorothy L Sayers mentions a related concept (IIRC she called it a responsibility dream) in her novel “Busman’s Honeymoon”, which suggests the phenomenon goes all the way back to Sigmund Freud, or perhaps earlier. Call it 100 years…

[Android 72264Y]

Another vivid Dwarf Dream but this time Ackerman executes Lister by drowning in a vat of kefir; the charge was bludgeoning Nano-Rimmer to death with the post off ‘Krytie TV’. 

[Moonlight]

Tried to introduce a theater of people to Red Dwarf with Parallel Universe for some reason. Oh no. My copy on Plex is inexplicably somebody’s shitty fan edit and they’ve done all sorts of over the top changes to Tongue Tied. Homer abusing the star wipe level stuff. This is terrible. I feel embarrassed for wanting to do this.

[Moonlight]

There is a Corgi Blue Midget (VIII style) under my bed in its original packaging. It’s like 6 inches tall.

[Meteo]

Starbug popped up in a few of my own dreams; – and then there was that one where Dwayne Dibbley & I hung out together at a Borders Books and Music!!!

[Unrumble]

[Author]

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