Who has has a Red Dwarf dream?

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

I ask because I wanted to tell you about a weird Red Dwarf related dream I had yesterday.

Me and Ian (for some reason, we’ve spoken but never actually met) were in a a warehouse discussing how ridiculous the pencil shaped CGI Red Dwarf was. We’d found some test recording of the original pencil model, but it was double barrelled. Not just two Red Dwarfs side by side, but the right hand side had the front and ran back so somewhere in the middle of the ship (though about the same length as seen on screen, then next to it on the left, the middle of the ship continues, but level with the front of the ship, down to the back which sat level with the middle of the part on the right hand side.

Confused? It looked like this http://imgur.com/a/9kQeL

Now, remember we’re in this warehouse. Well this dishevelled old man that looks like a homeless Doc Brown from BTTF arrived and opens this box containing the model we had seen in this test shot. He keeps pulling bits out like a magician removing handkerchiefs from his sleeve. Piece my piece until this full length model is presented to us.

Now, you know how dreams change location but you know you’ve always been there? Well suddenly me and Ian are at my dead grandparents house, except my granddad isn’t dead. He seems quite happy that me and Ian have decided to suspend this model from his ceiling, starting in the back bedroom and snaking all around the top floor of his house.

At this point the model is 12 meters long (we measured it in the dream) and its more akin to the small RD model that come with one of the DVDs (series 6?) … but none the less we’re convinced this is the original 12 meter model build with the intention of shooting it for remasters.

All that stuff about how the current model is a cut down version of a 12ft model that was scanned for CGI … well that 12ft model, in my dream, was a cut down 12m model that look ridiculous.

And that’s all me and Ian could say to each other, and that we’re lucky the version that ended up on series 8 and the re-mastered wasn’t as bad as this monstrosity … and what were they thinking building this ship that ended up looking like a small red snake, winding its way around the ceiling of my grandparents house.

Topic

[flanl3]

I had a dream last week that I searched “Red Dwarf 1301” on YouTube and it was actually there and it was really sad and the last five minutes were just a bunch of sad clips – starving children, dying animals, freeway traffic, burning forests – stitched together to some sad music.

[flanl3]

And since somebody asked, the dream I had where Rimmer kept growing breasts had a fairly ominous laugh track.

[Dave]

Ha HA ha ha

[Ben Saunders]

I had a dream last night where I was IN Red Dwarf as part of the main cast and it was really stressful because I have a lot of Uni deadlines coming up, and with no previous acting experience I need to learn all my lines and perform in Red Dwarf XIII and six episodes of Red Dwarf Live. My mum was really supportive though. I then went to court for something I don’t remember and Morgan Grimes from Chuck was the and I had to defend this little Hispanic boy who was told to put a jacket on my the judge to cover his Hispanicness which upset him greatly. I called in film reviewer Mark Kermode to give a rousing speech on why he should be allowed to just wear a shirt, while he himself was wearing an overly large David Byrne-esque suit.

It was interesting.

[Warbodog]

I’ve inherited a house and farm from a fictional dead relative. When browsing their nostalgic VHS library, I find a dusty stash of those Red Dwarf VII Christmas-dinners-in-a-can that they brought out in the late 90s. After insufficient consideration, I decide they’ll still be fine and serve them to people at a gathering. We’re disappointed to discover that they’re about 90% baked beans, but there’s some good stuff in there if you keep digging. (Metaphor?)

[Warbodog]

VIImas wouldn’t be VIImas without

[bloodteller]

does a VII christmas dinner come with a portion of duct soup?

[Warbodog]

The only variety was a tin of Jonathan Creek Christmas Dinner mixed in there, but that was mainly just beans as well. The BBC didn’t really succeed in capturing the nuances of these programmes in tinned food form, IMHO.

[International Debris]

Beans for Christmas Dinner, what a thought.

[Dave]

Last night I dreamed that they revealed the episode titles for Series XIII as part of some kind of Comic Relief or Children In Need thing.

One of them was “Humanoid”, which I thought was nicely vague and mysterious, and one of them was called “Going To Hell” which I thought was a bit odd for a Red Dwarf episode. And then one of them was something really self-referential and naff like “what the hell were we thinking?” and I couldn’t tell if it was a joke or not.

[tombow]

I actually (no joke) dreamed last night that I was showing my family (who all in real life used to like Dwarf but drifted off) Dave era Dwarf episodes and trying to choose which episodes to show them first. It was that weird kind of dream where everything was going wrong, like it was going to be Trojan but it was a Supermarket Sweep episode, and I picked up the X dvd and it had turned into Jurassic Park.

[tombow]

I always have dreams where it’s the wrong genre though. Like I’ll have a Dwarf dream where it’s just a strait discussion of politics between Rimmer and Lister with no jokes, then I’ll dream that Taboo with Tom Hardy is a 70s style sitcom with canned laughter.

[International Debris]

Oh yeah, every one of my Red Dwarf dreams has had it as some huge epic drama. My brain can’t do comedy when it’s asleep.

[Ian Symes]

Last night I dreamt that I was running the karaoke at Dimension Jump, but instead of Dave Benson Phillips hosting, it was Doug. He was rubbish at it.

[Flap Jack]

Oh yeah, every one of my Red Dwarf dreams has had it as some huge epic drama. My brain can’t do comedy when it’s asleep.

You dream about the novels?

[si]

Not a dream, but a memory. A memory of the fact that the first time I saw any of series 1 was a clip on an episode of Telly Addicts. Which they abrubtly cut the word ‘tits’ from.

Odd #RedDwarf memory: the first time I ever saw any of Future Echoes was a six-second clip on an episode of Telly Addicts.
When Rimmer looks in the mirror with a beehive hairdo. "You are how you look, and I look…like a complete and total…"

— Si (@bromley001) October 23, 2018

[Pete Part Three]

Hmm. You sure about this, Si?

I remember Telly Addicts using that clip, but I was aware of Red Dwarf by then, so I’d have said that (provided they only used the abruptly-cut clip once, and I wasn’t watching a repeat), this would have been 1994 or later.

[si]

Hmm. You sure about this, Si?

No, not really. Thought I was, but probably not. The main memory is of being really, stupidly, excited about seeing Red Dwarf in primetime BBC1.

Makes more sense that I’d seen series one plenty of times, and was so taken aback that that moment burnt itself into my mind. Just built a reasonable scenario round it.

[International Debris]

Had a dream about the special last night. Despite only knowing the vaguest things about the plot, part of my brain must be thinking about it.

The crew discovered that there was a whole colony of cats living in a part of the ship they’d not explored. For some reason, the cats decide to hold the main characters captive and use them as surrogate parents. At first, some weird food – a tablet and some horrible looking gloop – is fed to them, which it turns out contains the cat sperm. Then they are seduced by cat women who have sex with them – in one case, on a stage in front of hundreds of people – and who manage to provide the eggs in the process. The cats then debate whether to let the baby cats burst through their stomachs, Alien-style, or whether to give them c-sections and use them as permanent surrogates.

At this point, my girlfriend suggests that she doesn’t think this is all real, as it seems far-fetched, and that she hopes it isn’t just a dream sequence.

Obviously a lot of Can of Worms going on there.

[Veni]

You bump this bullshit and gloss over this magnum opus?

What dream would you be mortified to have been recorded on the dream recorder

[Flap Jack]

“What kind of milk are we using now?”

“Emergency backup supply. We’re on the cat’s jizz.”

[By Jove its holmes]

Once there was too much fanwank on TOS forums about Sebby P and Andrew E and i dreamed that night about the two fighting with treebranches whilst wearing togas.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

I dreamt last night that I flew to Washington DC for a pre-broadcast screening of the The Promised Land, although it was more like being in the studio audience as there was actual live elements to it. 60mins in and it had been really funny, but had become quite middling and I was starting to get bored. It had started out like any normal episode, with jokes and visiting a space station and what not, and something had happened to Kryten involving a giant beetle which caused him to get all busted up. However, the cat race still hadn’t materialised, and with only 30mins to go I was getting worried. During an intermission (don’t ask why) I turned to the whole audience and said “do you remember when they teased the cat people in the initial publicity shot and I said I bet we only see them for 5 mins!”

Somehow the screening ended before I could see the end (maybe I was at a studio recording after all, but I knew everything we know about the episode now) and had the arduous task of trying to immediately fly back to the UK, but getting a flight from Washington to LA inexplicably, and then to Heathrow. I was very tired and didn’t want to travel as I’d basically only just arrived. Once in LA, for some reason it became late 19th century, post civil war Wild West and a steam train heading north ran away without a driver, so we chased it on horse back all the way to Oregon.

And that is where I woke up.

[Pete Part Three]

>And that is where I woke up.

You fell asleep, had a dream and woke up in Oregon? Wow.

Anyway, you’d better get out of Oregon pronto. Don’t you remember what happed with the rabbits?

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

It’s possible I was drugged and kidnapped. Help?

[Spaceworm Jim]

They said that Oregon is bad and you should stop it if you can.

[Taiwan Tony]

I just woke up from a dream in which Rimmer and Kryten were walking along a dark corridor. Rimmer was in his blue uniform and Kryten was a murky green. The main thing I remember is seeing Bobby picking the underwear out of his bum.
Not my best dream.

[ARossiEsquire]

Ooh, I’ve had some odd ones (in general) but a couple Dwarf related ones come to mind:-

-Watching the Red Dwarf movie which had a laugh track and Rimmer saying “Fuck no” after the rest of the crew rescued him from being kidnapped (can’t remember the exact circumstances)

-When Series 10 was imminent, dreamt that the school bully had review copies of the episodes which I found after I’d broken in to his house for whatever reason.

No idea what any of my dreams mean to be honest, they’re worth writing about on their own.

[International Debris]

Had one last night, I was watching Series XIII. It was an eight part series, but each episode was actually set in an earlier era, i.e. there was a III-era episode, a VI episode, etc. This despite them making no effort to actually make the cast or sets look anything like the eras they were supposed to be in. The VIII episode was absolutely dire, almost unwatchable shite with next to no plot, just the cast sat around talking utter nonsense and making the odd really broad joke. It made me exceptionally angry.

[Flap Jack]

The VIII episode was absolutely dire, almost unwatchable shite with next to no plot, just the cast sat around talking utter nonsense and making the odd really broad joke.

So it was faithful to the quality and style of Series VIII, but with a better story?

[Ben Kirkham]

When I was 11 or 12, I remember hearing the news that Rimmer was being “killed off” in Red Dwarf and I was devastated. I had dreams around that time about being on Starbug and being the new crew member, saving the day.

It was a lonely childhood, ok?

[tombow]

I’m not sure I’ve ever had a Dwarf dream. I used to have re-curring dreams of musicians like ACDC, Kiss, Ozzy and Tony Iommi, and Slash, coming into school to teach us music, and they’d always be wearing their stereotypical on-stage outfits. In fact I’m not sure I’ve dreamed about a sitcom at all. Maybe had a few dreams I went to Byker Grove or something. I used to dream about Fraggle Rock a lot as a kid.

[Flap Jack]

When I was 11 or 12, I remember hearing the news that Rimmer was being “killed off” in Red Dwarf and I was devastated.

Wow, news about “The End” sure did spread fast.

[Ben Kirkham]

That’s nothing compared to the dream I had in 1999, where the entire Red Dwarf crew were resurrected and the Dwarfers ended up in prison. Though that was more of a nightmare than a dream.

[tombow]

I had a really intense dream last night about Stoke me a Clipper. Like Rimmer was leaving and kissing everyone, and for some reason me and a lot of my friends and family were part of the Starbug crew and Starbug was like a mix of the S7 set and my 90s home. And Rimmer was asking us to look at the ace light bee planet and remember the Aces. Grace Jones was there ready to go on adventures with Ace too.

[Moonlight]

I’ve had a recurring dream that episode 3 of Series XII is this flashback to VII set on Starbug crashed on a planet, featuring Kochanski. GELFs show up. I can’t remember anything more specific.

My literal dream is that Timewave doesn’t exist.

[Bosco13]

Why does everybody hate Timewave?
I never got what was wrong with it.

[Dave]

[Bosco13]

But why was it bollocks?
What did you not like?

[Warbodog]

My instant reaction was a not very detailed “This actually breaks my heart a bit.” I’ve never put myself through a rewatch to get more details, but it felt like a steep step down from the several episodes from those years that were merely pretty rubbish.

On the bright side, it gave us Richie & Eddie Watch “Timewave”.

[Dave]

But why was it bollocks?

What did you not like?

In all seriousness, the recent Dwarfcast goes through it all very nicely.

DwarfCast 131 – Timewave Commentary

[Pete Part Three]

I’d also recommend;

https://www.ganymede.tv/tag/timewave/

[desbug]

My instant reaction was a not very detailed “This actually breaks my heart a bit.” I’ve never put myself through a rewatch to get more details, but it felt like a steep step down from the several episodes from those years that were merely pretty rubbish.

On the bright side, it gave us Richie & Eddie Watch “Timewave”.

Well Timewave was very nearly worth it for that. It still wasn’t though, was it?

[Jonathan Capps]

Hah, here we go…

[Moonlight]

Why does everybody hate Timewave?

I never got what was wrong with it.

Trying to not derail this thread but God this is so asking for it.

I want to preface by saying I am someone who would argue XI and to a lesser extent XII are the next best thing to the Grant Naylor era (not discounting TPL, but I’d more contrast that against BtE than regular episodes for obvious reasons), but Timewave is just a shit episode of Red Dwarf. It’s a bad episode of television. And I would feel the same way whether or not I thought its terrible out of touch attempt at satire was making a good point or not, which it definitely isn’t.

It’s just poor writing on every level (there’s like two or three decent jokes in the entire episode, line-by-line dialogue doesn’t just not land but can be actively unfunny, overall story is a mess bent around telling a moral first over being good or making sense) and the whole thing is so tonally bizarre it barely feels like an episode of Red Dwarf in the first place. It doesn’t fit into its own era of the show, much less any other. And that’s not even addressing how utterly wrong, mean-spirited and ignorant the intended message of the story comes across WHICH IS KIND OF A BIG DEAL TOO.

But I’m trying to stress that I don’t think Timewave being bad is dependent on whether or not you agree with its weird old man “kids these days are wussy snowflakes” philosophy. Even the best premise handled like Timewave would be a bad episode. The bad satire just really digs it down to new depths of “are you kidding me here?”

I really dislike Series VIII (as I have many times talked about at length), but I think Timewave is easily worse than a fair bit of VIII. But it’s also bad in a number of very different ways to VIII’s worst episodes, so it’s hard to compare them. I don’t want to fall into the lazy “all bad things in Red Dwarf = being like VIII” mindset I often see. Zany Dave era Dwarf is not at all stylistically the same thing as VIII to me, but I’ll save that for another time.

I’m literally prepping to do a video essay on why Timewave doesn’t work because it doesn’t work on so many disparate levels that it’s fascinatingly bad, all while coming from an otherwise _fairly_ consistent batch of episodes that even at its next weakest link (Can of Worms) is still fairly entertaining. Timewave I don’t even bother to rewatch outside rare instances like for G&T’s commentary and I’ve otherwise rewatched the hell out of XI / XII since they came out.

But let’s not turn this into another “Timewave Sucks: The Thread” because we’ve had plenty of those already. It’s just hard to resist when somebody earnestly asks why people around here didn’t like it.

…oh, and the actual production values are poor. The guest sets look very cheap and the lighting, which is generally pretty fantastic across these two series, does it no favors. Just had to throw that in. I’m done now. As you were.

[Jenuall]

Spit on her wrist.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

On the bright side, it gave us Richie & Eddie Watch “Timewave”.

First time seeing that and thoroughly enjoyed it.

[Bexley Heath]

Why does everybody hate Timewave?

I never got what was wrong with it.

This you? https://twitter.com/Bosco4Indy

[Bosco13]

Why does everybody hate Timewave?

I never got what was wrong with it.
This you? https://twitter.com/Bosco4Indy

Naw this is me

https://www.instagram.com/boscoburns1/

Does that dog like Timewave?

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

Oh I started this thread and I get the honour of being post 101, page 2!

Last night I dreamt I was kidnapped by some sort of child bootcamp army, but with a base in East London.

It was a really old barracks and I found an old phone box, but so old it had a small 1980s black and white portable TV as a part of its function.

I desperately tried to dial the police to get help because I’d been kidnapped. But the call wouldn’t go through because it was a disconnected phone. However the TV still worked so Holly (Norman) appeared on the screen to inform the phone wasn’t functioning.

I found that a various different combinations of trying to use the phone led to a different Holly message.

Realising this was brand new, unseen Holly footage that we’d never seen before I was excited to share this news with everyone once I escaped my captors.

[Author]

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