Who has has a Red Dwarf dream?

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

I ask because I wanted to tell you about a weird Red Dwarf related dream I had yesterday.

Me and Ian (for some reason, we’ve spoken but never actually met) were in a a warehouse discussing how ridiculous the pencil shaped CGI Red Dwarf was. We’d found some test recording of the original pencil model, but it was double barrelled. Not just two Red Dwarfs side by side, but the right hand side had the front and ran back so somewhere in the middle of the ship (though about the same length as seen on screen, then next to it on the left, the middle of the ship continues, but level with the front of the ship, down to the back which sat level with the middle of the part on the right hand side.

Confused? It looked like this http://imgur.com/a/9kQeL

Now, remember we’re in this warehouse. Well this dishevelled old man that looks like a homeless Doc Brown from BTTF arrived and opens this box containing the model we had seen in this test shot. He keeps pulling bits out like a magician removing handkerchiefs from his sleeve. Piece my piece until this full length model is presented to us.

Now, you know how dreams change location but you know you’ve always been there? Well suddenly me and Ian are at my dead grandparents house, except my granddad isn’t dead. He seems quite happy that me and Ian have decided to suspend this model from his ceiling, starting in the back bedroom and snaking all around the top floor of his house.

At this point the model is 12 meters long (we measured it in the dream) and its more akin to the small RD model that come with one of the DVDs (series 6?) … but none the less we’re convinced this is the original 12 meter model build with the intention of shooting it for remasters.

All that stuff about how the current model is a cut down version of a 12ft model that was scanned for CGI … well that 12ft model, in my dream, was a cut down 12m model that look ridiculous.

And that’s all me and Ian could say to each other, and that we’re lucky the version that ended up on series 8 and the re-mastered wasn’t as bad as this monstrosity … and what were they thinking building this ship that ended up looking like a small red snake, winding its way around the ceiling of my grandparents house.

Topic

[tombow]

So, I had a really vivid dream last night. I was working in some big suburban pub/restuarant. My parents were coming to visit and I needed to charge my phone. I kept losing charge points and every time I found one, I plugged in to find a different text saying they were in different places. I finally got a text saying they were over the road.

So I left the pub, and went into this big park behind it. Hidden around some big trees and bushes was a big, lifesize, Starbug – about the size of a large caravan or trailer, and about ten feet high on extended legs.

You know that thing where you suddenly have new memories of the world in your dream? I remembered that RD had filmed some scenes with a life size Bug here, and left it, or the council had chosen to leave it there as a memento. I had some vague memories of a RD special about battling Simulants where they might have reached Earth and found out Simulants had centuries ago defeated humans and taken it over. It was like a cross between Series 6, Terminator, Star Wars, The Promised Land, and Twentica.

I remember being shocked at how good a condition it was in, it was faded but not covered in graffiti or anything. I climbed up one of the legs and went in. Inside was a bedroom with a double bed, cupboards and windows. I then remembered that someone who owned the pub had once converted it into a flat and lived in it for a while, then abandoned it. I was thinking about trying to move in myself, and whether it could be cleaned up. I think I woke up then

[Dave]

My favourite part of this is that you stopped giving a shit about trying to find your parents once you discovered a giant Starbug you could live in. 

[Warbodog]

I had a series of dreams where I obsessed over finding connections between exactly two things in each random dream scenario as my brain developed them in real time. It was bloody stressful and I was glad to wake up in the morning. Don’t know what that could have been about.

[Technopeasant]

So, I had a really vivid dream last night. I was working in some big suburban pub/restuarant.

[Nick R]

It was like a cross between Series 6, Terminator, Star Wars, The Promised Land, and Twentica.

[tombow]

Ah’m not finished!

[Nick R]

Last night I had a dream that I was using the Smega-Drive and spotted there was a frame from a completely unrelated film – X-Men Origins: Wolverine, of all things. “Oh,” I thought, “of course it makes sense that should be there, because it has an obvious Red Dwarf connection.” (What exactly this connection was, my dream didn’t say.)

Upon investigating further, I realised that although this was the only film on there, all the Red Dwarf smeg ups, deleted scenes, bonus features (Can’t Smeg, Won’t Smeg; Backwards Forwards, Identity Within) had been added to the Smega-Drive.

*HINT, HINT*

I woke up eager to combine frames from Backwards and Backwards Forwards into a nice reversing and perfectly looping GIF. But then I realised that, alas, such creations are impossible in the real world, because we lack the tools to make them. 

[Dave]

Last night I had a dream that I was using the Smega-Drive and spotted there was a frame from a completely unrelated film – X-Men Origins: Wolverine, of all things. “Oh,” I thought, “of course it makes sense that should be there, because it has an obvious Red Dwarf connection.” (What exactly this connection was, my dream didn’t say.)

Presumably that the film featured among its villains William Stryker, a role also played in X-Men 2 by Brian Cox, who made a cameo in Stoke Me A Clipper.

It’s a blatant connection isn’t it, blatant.

[Ridley]

The other day I dreamt that Cappsy almost started an international incident as he gesticulated within the vicinity of some scanner and the set of movements just happened to be a Russian spy signal.

[Technopeasant]

“Oh,” I thought, “of course it makes sense that should be there, because it has an obvious Red Dwarf connection.”

Kryten’s accent is inspired by how they speak in Vancouver. And in the film an actor from Vancouver has his mouth sewn shut.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

Young adult in the 1990s, sci-fi fan, very artistically driven, likes robots…
Could Many Ampersand Symbols be the pseudonym of Ana Matronic, formerly of the Scissor Sisters?

[Technopeasant]

[Ben Saunders]

Last night I dreamt that Can’t Smeg Won’t Smeg was really, really funny.

[Moonlight]

Ainsley genuinely doesn’t know Danny has switched the rice.

[Ben Saunders]

Ainsley genuinely doesn’t know Danny has switched the rice.

[Moonlight]

[GIGGLES] does not even begin to describe the noise he makes there.

[Dave]

[Technopeasant]

[Flap Jack]

Had another one of those “do I visit this site too much?” G&T related dreams last night. The gist was that there was a big update to the Smega-Drive, and we were all discussing whether it was a good change or not.

The change was that when you clicked on either of the randomise buttons, instead of getting a page with a single frame, you would get a page with 2 already rendered GIFs, one from the BBC era and one from the Dave era. The BBC GIF would be on top and the Dave GIF would be on the bottom, and each had their own text box. And if you navigated to a specific frame instead of going random, you would still get the same page and it would still be a GIF of the next 5 or so seconds from the point you selected, but the second area would just be black with a big text block saying “ERROR: FILE NOT FOUND” on it.

Cappsy, if you see this, I’m sharing this inspiration for free. You’re welcome.

[Jonathan Capps]

I will create this exactly, including the bug.

[Unrumble]

[Warbodog]

A university campus has had some kind of Red Dwarf-themed trade fair and is flogging the last of its custom apparel. I’m disappointed that the only things left are too small or too unappealing, like a Holoship uniform waistcoat made of cardboard.

Then I join Chloë Annett in a minibus. She needs to take a toy of Knuckles to Knutsford, presumably for the alliteration, and I’ve got nothing better to do. She gives me a steak pie for later, which Matt Lucas eyes greedily, so I tell him he can have it. I don’t think I was the protagonist in this dream.

[Moonlight]

She needs to take a toy of Knuts to Knucklesford?

[clem]

Had a Red Dwarf-adjacent dream a few nights ago. Left work and saw a “modern snowman” from Look Around You in the carpark.

No other snow on the ground, just the snowman. Sergeant Bash came around the corner and melted the snowman with his flamethrower. Then he started advancing towards me, flamethrower still flaming, so I fled. Bash gave chase. I could feel the heat on my back as I pelted down the road, terrified. Luckily there was a bus at the bus stop so I ran on, paid and went upstairs. The driver was my geography teacher from school but he didn’t seem to recognise me, and naturally I didn’t stop to question this as I just wanted to get away from Sgt. B. The bus pulled away and when I looked out of the window at the back I could see Bash on the road, following the bus. I frantically ran to the top of the stairs and shouted “Step on it, Stanbury!” and we soon outran the murderous house robot. Phew.

[Hamish]

[RunawayTrain]

Had a Red Dwarf-adjacent dream a few nights ago. Left work and saw a “modern snowman” from Look Around You in the carpark.

No other snow on the ground, just the snowman. 

My brain’s so gone this evening I briefly forgot the first sentence and was in awe of how awesome (and random) an experience you had.

[Warbodog]

Authentic-looking Series VII dream. I have Lister’s POV as he tosses a hunk of meat around a wok in boiling oil and says the over-quoted line “I’ve never fried meat at eleven hundred degrees” that spawned a million lazy Facebook/Reddit food captions.

Kochanski comes in, Duct Soup dissatisfied, and they chat for a bit. She decides, “I don’t like you, but there’s enough Lister to make it work, so get in there!” and climbs on top of him. I don’t have Lister’s POV for that bit, and we skip over the sex scene, because it’s TV. Nice job remembering that, brain.

Afterwards, I’m Lister again (oh, now I’m back, am I?), getting a Leopard lager from the fridge (I’ve confused the logo with Tiger Aspect Productions) and walking up a gantry, maybe to the cockpit. Kochanski picks a bit of lettuce off my clothes at the top and I go back down to go up again, I think that was a smeg-up.

[Technopeasant]

I don’t have Lister’s POV for that bit, and we skip over the sex scene, because it’s TV. Nice job remembering that, brain.

[loadoftottnumb]

Short and sweet dream last night. 

I am browsing YouTube on my phone when a short autoplays of a classic WWE/F Raw moment. It’s a Halloween episode and all the wrestlers are in costume (not their usual costume of course). One of them is dressed as Kryten, cheap looking body suit and mask. 

I don’t know who it was but they were stood, along with others, behind Vince McMahon who was cutting a promo in some vampire type getup. It was attitude era time so maybe Test, Shamrock or Bossman. 

Kane dressing as Kryten for Halloween would be funny. 

[Hamish]

[loadoftottnumb]

Nothing wrong with wrestling. Particularly if there is treacle involved. 

[Technopeasant]

[Ben Saunders]

Just had a dream that there were new Red Dwarf specials coming in August, and Doug tweeted that the BBC were broadcasting the entire series in order to prepare. Starting with “The Erd.”

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

[Dave]

[Unrumble]

[International Debris]

Red Dwarf X, Episode 6, The Begirrirg.

[Technopeasant]

[Nick R]

[Nick R]

Or is this version better?

[Technopeasant]

[Dave]

[Moonlight]

[Nick R]

Erd Dwarf

Back in the Erd Part 1

Back in the Erd Part 2

Back in the Erd Part 3

[sleepey]

The boys encounter a baby despair squid that can’t do all the elaborate genre parody stuff yet with its hallucinations so it just sends them to Erdington.

[Moonlight]

Erdington.

[Ian Symes]

Had a dream last night that an entire series of Red Dwarf was made in secret without any of us knowing. They somehow managed to keep it quiet throughout production, but then when it was ready, the BBC accidentally put it all on iPlayer. My main reaction was complete panic and stress, trying to figure out how G&T should cover six episodes that release simultaneously.

As for the series itself, it was controversially called Series XIII, and it was absolutely shit. The second episode was about Cat trying to convince Lister to suck him off, and was called The One Where Everyone Gets Sucked Off. There was also a musical episode, which was rubbish, but Danny got his keyboard out and did some amazing music theory analysis on the Live DwarfCast, so it was all worth it for that.

[Dave]

Looking forward to TOWEGSO

[Warbodog]

[Dave]

[Author]

Replies