Would you watch a Red Dwarf porn film?

[Jawscvmcdia]

Discuss.

Topic

[JamesTC]

Stop.

[Jawscvmcdia]

Okay, I apologise.

[Stephen Abootman]

‘Member when you said you were “really sorry for posting these topics?”
Ooh, I ‘member.

[Ben Paddon]

Can we knock it on the head with these novelty goof threads, maybe? They’re turning Geeantie into… well, into literally every other ruddy forum on the internet. Bin ’em.

[JamesTC]

This thread is shit so I’ll hijack it for something not worthy of its own thread.

I’m watching Crime Traveller for the first time right now and I noticed that the clock in the opening of the first episode represents a 4 as IIII rather than IV and thought why many clocks with Roman numerals do this. On thorough investigation I found nobody really knows why. I don’t like it.

[International Debris]

The clock in my parents’ living room had it as IIII and I thought IV was wrong for quite a long time. It’s very odd.

[clem]

Good hijack. I didn’t know about the convention of using IIII until I listened to the commentary on Back to the Future. Bob Gale points out that the clock tower is unusual for having a IV.

[MANI506]

I’m just waiting for the DVD review…

IT IS HERE.

Cloche

[flanl3]

It’s dumb and really ought to quit it

[pendo86]

I’m watching Crime Traveller for the first time right now and I noticed that the clock in the opening of the first episode represents a 4 as IIII rather than IV and thought why many clocks with Roman numerals do this. On thorough investigation I found nobody really knows why. I don’t like it.

Having worked in a Clock Museum for almost 14 years (seriously!), I’ve heard many theories about this. The most common one, and the one I tend to go with, is that some king in the past (I can’t remember which one now. King George? Louis? Can’t remember) decided that he didn’t like the look of the IV because he felt it didn’t make the clock face look symmetrical so it was changed to IIII. Obviously, I’m aware that’s not what symmetry is but that’s the version of the story I’ve heard the most.

[Phobos And Deimos]

Pendo’s coffee lounge clock.

[(deleted)]

I want to work in a clock museum now. Nothing else is good enough.

[peas_and_corn]

I’d wager there is some manner of walking clock in that box

[clem]

> I want to work in a clock museum now. Nothing else is good enough.

How about a cloche museum?

[Pete Part Three]

>I’m watching Crime Traveller for the first time right now

Probably the last time too.

[Jawscvmcdia]

Bump.

[Lily]

Good bump, this really is quite fascinating. I’ve never noticed that clocks have IIII !

It looks like the whole King ‘whoever’ thing has been dismissed as it’s attributed to a number of different Kings, most of whom post-date earlier sun dials that use IIII.

Leading contenders for the reason are that Romans didn’t really use IV, IIII was seen as easier and IV was only introduced in more ‘modern’ times. So older sun-dials would use the original IIII which is still copied today.

Alternatively it’s to maintain symmetry on the clock face, the heavier IIII balancing the VIII on the other side and also maintaining the radial symmetry of a group of IIIs, a group of VIs and a group of XIs.

It’s probably a bit of all of the above.

[bloodteller]

this is rather interesting

[bloodteller]

also, a Clock Museum sounds pretty cool. wouldn’t mind visiting one of those

[Flap Jack]

I’m not against stupid threads at all. They can be harmless fun if you approach them with the right mindset. I just wish they weren’t framed as simple Yes/No questions. Throwing out the word “Discuss” afterwards doesn’t really make up for that.

Because of course we would watch a Red Dwarf porn film. We’re fans; we’re guaranteed to look into anything Red Dwarf related, just out of curiosity… and so we can discuss it in forums.

What you need to be asking are questions which actually prompt discussion, or at least have the potential to. Such as:

• Which pornstars would you cast as the main characters?
• Which would be the best production company and writers for the film?
• Which supporting characters would appear?
• Which combinations of characters would get to fuck?
• What would everyone’s porn parody name be?
• What would the story need to be in order to make it plausible that Kryten and The Cat would end up double-teaming Lister?
• Can you think of a parody title that’s at least better than “Pink Dwarf”?
• Is a porn parody literally the only context in which Kochanski or female Holly would reappear in Red Dwarf?

…

Sorry, what’s this about clocks?

[bloodteller]

>Can you think of a parody title that’s at least better than “Pink Dwarf”?

Bed Dwarf?

Red Phwoaaaarrr?

[bloodteller]

Ron Jeremy as Captain Hollister, obviously

[Flap Jack]

The best regular title variant I can think of is:

Bred Dwarf: Bareback to Girth

Created by Knob Grant and Doug Nailer

This is why I’m not in the porno writing biz.

[bloodteller]

Dave Fister and Anal Rimmer

[Flap Jack]

Kryten 2seX4BJ 532Pnis

The Scat

[Dave]

Blue Dwarf

[bloodteller]

Kristine Cockhandski

[bloodteller]

Captain Holefister

[Hamish]

Would you watch a Red Dwarf porn musical?

[flanl3]

Only if every character was played by Ron Jeremy.

[Plastic Percy]

Dave Clister
Arnold Rimmer
Holey
Shat
Kryben Dover

[clem]

Wankita
Gorge Dick-Entire
Mr Rut
Swallow
Cockmuncher (Todhunter)
Spunky (Snacky)

[Ben Saunders]

Hudzen-10-Inch

[Taiwan Tony]

I’ve seen a porn film with four oldish blokes and one young woman. It was a bit unsavoury but they didn’t kill her!

[Hamish]

…good?

[Bargain Bin Holly]

Assclepius
Big Bang Beryl
Cockie Toaster
Bear McGee

[bloodteller]

surprised nobody has mentioned Big Meat yet…

[Taiwan Tony]

>…good?

It did the job.

[flanl3]

Dick Crazy
Ziggy Likesmen
Anal Fiddler
Dispenis Machine 23
Tight Wank Tony

[bloodteller]

Scaterina Barticockski

Peterscum

Nirvanal Crane

Professor Telfuck

Buttler

Clit Cop

[Dave]

Spitonawrist

[Bargain Bin Holly]

The Skatters

[Warbodog]

Thomas Ball Man

[Dave]

Spunk me a titter

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

Doug Nail Her

Back to Rear Alley

[Ben Saunders]

Rimmer World

[Ben Saunders]

The Last Gay

[clem]

Fucked Hoop

[flanl3]

Craig All Holes

[Ben Saunders]

White Holes

[Author]

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