evilmorwen

[evilmorwen]

yeah Psirens was a weird one – as i recall the script came out /ages/ before the first broadcast. i think it was the first television script i’d ever read (well, i mean, i guess i’d have read the other five in the book first); so i found it quite disappointing? and then that sort of soured the episode.

it seems mad now how compressed that all was. i know the first one I watched was the original broadcast of “Holoship” in February 1992; and then by Red Dwarf VI i’d acquired basically all media it was possible to obtain at that point (the novels, the smegazines as they came out, Soup, i guess taping repeat runs, and the never-to-be-repeated series 1 tapes). by September 1993 i’m writing fanfiction, drawing fan art, and taping the Gunmen version of the theme tune (pictured in my icon there). that all occurred in 18 months! we hadn’t even got a video player at the start of it.

[evilmorwen]

and like, they also recast Kochanski with Suzanne Rhatigan a couple of years before that anyway (that’s what the credits say: don’t @ me)

did they actually try and book Claire for series 7? i mean, i know some people have issues with her performance but like, also, she didn’t really have an actual part. todhunter got more lines than her in “The End”, and she’s great in “Balance of Power”.

[evilmorwen]

people mock that but i think they could have worked the french windows into the script. instead of having the crew being wiped out by a radiation leak, have Rimmer accidentally open the french windows and vent all the air into space.

[evilmorwen]

do you imagine there’s a Birds of a Feather fan site somewhere where they talk about the show going downhill in the late 1990s when status of the boys being in prison gets changed? etc etc.

while i was working on trying to make a joke about this i discovered the fact that in the 2014 series, all the episodes are named after Rolling Stones songs or albums. there seems to be absolutely no reference to this on the internet, so actually i am guessing either there is no birds of a feather fan community or maybe they are not such enormous nerds as red dwarf fans.

[evilmorwen]

well you know how the saying goes

a Bird of a Feather;
one’s stuck in the weather.

[evilmorwen]

Without the artificial reality machine, there would never have been a holodeck in Star Trek.

[evilmorwen]

it didn’t really work when he left.

[evilmorwen]

Porridge did a sequel series with Fletcher’s grandson 3 years ago, under the name Porridge again, written by the original team. If you counted that it would be 43 years!

[evilmorwen]

Peter Wragg was pretty fucking good.

[evilmorwen]

The regulars are all really well-cast.

[evilmorwen]

The fact that that dodgy head explosion is in the opening credits montage doesn’t help, I think. By the time you see it for real you’ve seen it how many times?

[evilmorwen]

GAZPACHO LOOP

Using one of the various methods of time travel the crew have found and never used again, Rimmer goes back in time to inform his earlier self that Gazpacho soup is served cold. Unfortunately he overshoots and ends up on Io before he was born. He gets a job as the Rimmer family’s gardener and inadvertently ends up fathering a child with his own mother.

[evilmorwen]

I mean, Danny and Bobby put on accents so I think it’d be fair to do those.

But for Lister, we can do all do a (shit) Lister impression, it’s be weird hearing one of those alongside someone doing their own voice as Rimmer.

But also: It’s a funny thing because Lister is only from Liverpool because Craig is, right? It wasn’t baked in originally. But he’s /so/ scouse now, I can’t imagine it with another accent. Has any material with Rickman ever surfaced?

[evilmorwen]

DIMENSION TRUMP

The crew meet a parallel dimension version of Trump. Donald “Ace” Trump is a dashing daredevil test pilot for the United States Space Corps, and he has been assigned to test-pilot a ship that can travel through dimensions, so he can meet different versions of himself. He enters our dimension to meet our Trump, a hologram revived after the original Trump choked on his own vomit, and who presides over the solar system’s first air-free golf course, on an asteroid near the Mars/Venus borders (South Mars).

[evilmorwen]

TIKKA TO RIDE PART 2

Starbug has run out of ketchup, so the crew use the time drive to return to Earth in the past; but accidentally get mixed up in the accidental choking to death on his own vomit of President Trump in Washington in 2020.

[evilmorwen]

WHAT KRYTIE DID NEXT

Kryten looks after the needs of three officers on the Nova 5 while they wait for a rescue.

[evilmorwen]

WHAT KRYTIE DID

Kryten 2X4B-523P is a young mech, newly constructed at the DivaDroid facility on Callisto. We follow his adventures as he adjusts to existing, and travels to the Nova 5.

[evilmorwen]

FAPPY TV

Kryten turns out to be a pervert.

[evilmorwen]

MARKOCRACY

The crew hold an election to decide which left-wing comedian named Mark should be in charge: Mark Thomas or Mark Steel.

[evilmorwen]

I don’t know what an iguana is.

[evilmorwen]

THE ADMIRAL KRYTEN

Due to a hilarious misunderstanding, Kryten is promoted to Admiral by a passing Space Corps official.

[evilmorwen]

ALONE IN A GORDONLESS UNIVERSE

Mash-up of a recently popular Idea for an Episode meme with one you thought you’d seen the end of last page.

[evilmorwen]

JEROME IN A ROBLESS UNIVERSE

Jerome Flynn, of pop duo Robson and Jerome, is forced to face evidence that Robson Green is a hallucination caused by a mutated pneumonia virus.

[evilmorwen]

A CROON IN A TUNELESS UNIVERSE

When Lister tries to sing Perry N’Kwomo’s latest hit, Talkie Toaster is quick to bring up the opinion that he can’t sing, you know.

[evilmorwen]

ALONE IN A DOGLESS UNIVERSE

Awaiting rescue by Kryten and Cat, Lister is forced to resort to eating a pot noodle.

[evilmorwen]

BUTTER THEN LIFE

Lister faces up to his destiny as creator of the second universe. But first, he needs to face up to the reality of that milk he’s left in the fridge for six months.

[evilmorwen]

HANCOCKRACY

The crew have an election to decide their favourite episode of Hancock’s Half Hour.

[evilmorwen]

DIMENSION FUNK

The crew meet a version of Rimmer, who comes from a dimension where everyone is a Funko Pop.

[evilmorwen]

THE CRAIG CHARLES FUNKO SOUL SHOW

Craig Charles explores the thorny issue of whether Funko Pops really do have souls.

[evilmorwen]

they’re less ugly if they’re partly obscured by the box, maybe?

[evilmorwen]

does the sofa in the bunkroom in Red Dwarf X prove that Gareth Gwenlan was right all along?

[evilmorwen]

OUT OF BRINE

The crew are starting to run low on saline water for Lister’s jar.

[evilmorwen]

KRYTIE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD

Red Dwarf finally arrives back on Earth, and become the subject of an American television series about their adventures. Kryten is the only one approached about playing himself, much to the resentment of the rest of the cast.

[evilmorwen]

KARMA, KARMA, KARMA, KARMA, KARMA

The one where everyone’s Boy George.

[evilmorwen]

PEAT PART TWO

Rimmer gets really into composting.

[evilmorwen]

NINETYFIVEICA

Shot down by simulants, the crew go to an alternative Earth where all operating systems after Windows 95 have been banned.

[evilmorwen]

DO NOT ALTAVISTA

The crew discover an abandoned network relay station, to which Kryten accidentally uploads his double-polaroids.

[evilmorwen]

WHAT EVEN YAHOO?

Lister is incredulous that all the search engines could be down.

[evilmorwen]

POPPERMORPH

The crew get proper fucked up on amyl and start seeing things.

[evilmorwen]

ODDIEMORPH

The crew encounter a genetically engineered creature masquerading as Bill Oddie.

[evilmorwen]

COLLYMORPH

The crew encounter a shape-shifting I.C.B.I.N.A.A. (Short for: I can’t believe it’s not an alien) that presents itself usually in the form of footballer Stan Collymore.

[evilmorwen]

FAWLTYMORPH

The crew encounter a shape-shifting monster that can appear to be any resident or staff member from a Torbay hotel.

[evilmorwen]

LOLLYMORPH

The crew meet a GELF capable of changing its shape between different characters played by Lolly Adefope.

[evilmorwen]

POTTYMORPH

The crew encounter a genetically altered life form, and have to toilet train it.

[evilmorwen]

YOLOMORPH

The crew encounter a genetically altered life form which just wants to have a good time and have a party.

[evilmorwen]

MONOMORPH

The Red Dwarf crew encounter the monomorph, a genetically unaltered life form that retains a stable shape and sometimes experiences and expresses emotions.

[evilmorwen]

CRAIG & TERRY: FUNNY, MISCAST BY NBC

When looking for someone to narrate ITV’s latest clip show, a producer suggests “let’s get those actors who play Lister and The Cat in Red Dwarf in”. Hilarity ensues.

[evilmorwen]

MASKS ON THE RED, PART ONE

Lister contracts a mutated pneumonia virus. The Cat refuses to wear a mask, believing it to be unfashionable.

[evilmorwen]

GORDON OF THE APOCALYPSE

When Kryten contracts the Armagordon virus, the others have to enter his dreams using the artificial reality machine to help him. They have only until high midnight to save him – and the town of Inverurie in Gordon – from the Four Gordons of the Apocalypse (Gordon Kennedy, Gordon Salkilld, Gordon White, CP Gordon).

[evilmorwen]

KENNEDY AND PARA-NIXON

Lister contracts a mutated pneumonia virus, and wakes up to find he has created personifications of 20th century American presidents John Kennedy (Michael J. Shannon) and Richard Nixon (Rob Brydon).

[Author]

Replies