evilmorwen

[evilmorwen]

Not going to click and feed, but I thought this was a nice, real photo of the cast.

Oh, I was going to bring up Stasis Leak, and Out of Time. Why are there TWO Listers?!? What were any of them plugging (singles/videos?)

…And what were they smoking?

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Well, I’m only on to this part of the book. So maybe I’m missing something that comes later on. But it seems like it implys Frankenstein is a male cat and is, in fact, the Cat? Which isn’t what Frankenstein is meant to be.

Trans Cat is canon.

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(And don’t forget Hudson is the Scottish butler in Upstairs Downstairs)

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Doug has said there isn’t a single movie script, but many which varied quite a bit. So who knows. 
Still feel like a book covering them with a couple of full scripts and bits of others and a load of behind the scenes stuff is, surely, a very good idea for a book that would sell fairly well. 

and throw in some concept art, you’ve got yourself a coffee table book!

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Back in the Sin Bin

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Would be good if Rimmer accidentally dropped the quantum rod and caused another ship-destroying calamity.

I thought it was implied that fixing the drive plate was a two-man job that Rimmer fucked up because he didn’t have Lister to help him, but I might have just invented that at some point in my mind.

Who’s first technician?

Well that’s his excuse anyway…

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worth noting there that “Kevin Jackson” is actually Paul using his first name. (Paul is his middle name.)

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I just did a majorish rewrite of the Wikipedia article about Rob Grant.

You have more stamina than I. I never do edits from my own account anymore to avoid having to deal with bullying admins. They will just revert whatever offends them rather than try to talk you.

Hi, well this awkward. I’m a Wikipedia admin. I’m sorry if you’ve found the culture alienating – I sometimes have as well.

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I’ve found it in a news article from 1998, but it seems like he said it a few times: https://www.warringtonguardian.co.uk/news/5313902.well-red-dwarf/
“I just wanted to move on. I didn’t want Red Dwarf to be the only thing on my tombstone.”

thanks, that’s great!

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ELEVATOR: MAROONED 2

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he doesn’t leave a lot of room for doubt does he 

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do you think they’d deliver to a north london basement flat

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> We’ve passed 3k, £600 in contributions and still aiming for that 5k milestone.

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how many franks will be in Sin Bin Island?

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they’ve quoted Frank Cottrell-Boyce twice on the TOS update for Sin Bin Island! with different quotes! at opposite ends of the list! wonder if one should have been attributed to someone else or what happened there exactly 

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i, for one, am glad we finally know the cat’s exact ʆqʐǖłɕǣll̄ɱʉl̆ɓ

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I don’t know if it was specifically based on anyone in particular, but the band that has leapt out to me before is the Tymes. This isn’t the actual video for the one where they are wearing basically the same costumes as in Tongue Tied (it’s been taken down), but it’s very much in Cat costume territory. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUdLCPnSzR0

They even had a song called “Tongue Tied”, although it does not use the same gag of incomprehensible lyrics in the song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CneGhucJMw

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Legion: Rimmer meets a stranger who makes him hard.

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It had been a long couple of days.

Rimmer has been on his bullshit again. Lately he’d dredged up some old JMC health and safety regime. He’d demanded Lister fill in an accident report, just for some stupid fire in the drive room that he’d put out almost immediately. Rimmer! Who had died three million years ago, in the drive room, while apologising for the very accident that was about to kill everyone. The reason any of them were even here.

Then he’d woken up in an EVA suit, somewhere near Red Dwarf. He’d had to piece together the evening as he’d explained things to Kryten. They’d got a confirmed life sign. Many years ago, soon after Red Dwarf had just turned round, they’d investigated every life sign or derelict or human or human-derived construction. These days, as they’d got closer to Earth, that was no longer possible. But life signs were still quite rare, and he was looking for a life sign. Kochanski’s. He wasn’t quite sure what he’d do when he found Kochanski. Apologise, and then what…? Ultimately that was up to Kochanski. He knew she’d left intentionally, but did she mean to be gone for quite that long? Only Kryten was privy to the details. Lister momentarily cursed himself for teaching Kryten to lie, before catching himself. He didn’t own Kryten any more than he owned Kochanski.

But instead of finding Kochanski all he’d found was some refuse-eating GELFs, called BEGGs. They had no info. He should have gone straight back, he knew that. But he’d forgotten to take any supplies, and all they were offering was one drink. And, hey, in the meantime, why not play a game or two of poker with them while he was waiting for Starbug’s engines to cool down?

And yes, he’d lost Starbug, and, somehow Rimmer. He was puzzled by that one. He didn’t own Rimmer. Was it out of spite? He couldn’t really remember. It sometimes seemed to him that Rimmer was his own personal torturer in this hell. But really Lister’s hell had started before the accident. It was that Monopoly pub crawl. He’d lost his friends and his life, and eventually the entire human race.

After that, why bother with anything any more? On the bad days, finding Kochanski was his only reason for going on. She wasn’t even “his” Kochanski. She’d come from a parallel universe, where she’d survived the accident, not him. Whatever had attracted him to the original Kochanski, that wasn’t the connection he’d had with this one. Despite their many differences, they had a commonality of experience.

They’d dealt with the BEGGs, but they’d got some unfinished business. A, um, device, was still in place over certain sensitive regions of Lister’s body. They’d tracked back the device to the space station it was built on. No life signs, but further investigation showed several stasis booths, one of which was in use, containing Professor Edgington, the head of the ERRA Institute. But she wasn’t what you’d have expected.

“Most fascinating. She was working on a research programme into evolution, attempting to evolve into the next species of the evolutionary ladder”, said Kryten. “But she got the experiment totally wrong.”

Lister wondered if the technology related to the DNA machine they’d encountered in their fourth year of travels. The one that had turned Kryten into a human, and Lister into a chicken.

“So basically, she took an evolutionary wrong turn and wound up a monkey?” asked Rimmer.

“She should’ve stopped and asked directions”, interjected Cat.

Lister did not believe Cat had ever stopped and asked for directions. Just smegging quoting from TV shows again, probably. “Much as I’m enjoying this chit-chat, it ain’t helping me get this ball-buster off.” That wasn’t a quote from anything.

“I believe it is, sir. This is the very machine that Professor Eddington carried out her operation with. If we can evolve her back to human form she may be able to help us. I’ve studied the manual, it seems very straightforward.”

Lister had heard enough. “Come on, let’s go, switch it on!”

“Turning on now, sir… Pressing ‘undo’ now. Evolution mode… engaged.”

A ray of something hit the primate and before their eyes a transformation occurred, as startling as any they’d seen on the Mutton Vindaloo Monster adventure.

“Oh smeg!”, said Lister. “She’s human!” It had really worked. Although this had put any last idea that this might be Kochanski away. It wasn’t Kochanski, was it? Could he remember what Kochanski looked like? What would she look like now?

“Oh smeg!”, said Rimmer. “She’s naked!”

“She’s also naked!” leered Cat. “Did anyone mention that yet?”

Lister started taking his jacket off. This wasn’t Kochanski, but she was a human. Maybe now the only other human in the universe. The survivor of an accident that had left her three millions years in the future, with no surviving friends or family. We’ve got to do right by her. Make a good impression. And she needs to get me out of this smegging groinal exploder.

“Is she naked? Oh yes, I didn’t notice. I’ll go and get her a sheet immediately”, said Kryten, turning away.

“No rush, Kryten,” said Rimmer. “Remember protocol 175. No running in the corridors. Take your time. Walk carefully.” He paused a beat “Forget about the lift, Kryten, take the stairs… one at a time.” Addressing Edgington, Rimmer continued “he’s just going to be a few minutes.”

Well, at least he’s keeping on bullshit on-theme this week, thought Lister, as he walked forward with his jacket.

“What are you doing, Lister?” asked Rimmer.

“What do you think I’m doing, Rimmer?” asked Lister, as he handed the young woman the jacket. “What is wrong with you?”

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This is incredible.

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Heil Honey I’m Home! commentary, let’s go

 blitzkreig flop!

(Sorry not sorry)

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This may sound like me taking the piss, but genuine idea for a Dwarfcast.
An episode of something Juliet May directed that isn’t Red Dwarf.

Maybe an episode of Morris Minor’s Marvellous Motors? Which as an extra Dwarf connection, stars Tony Hawks.

Astonishingly, the guest cast also includes Andy Serkis, Camille Coduri and Una Stubbs.

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the 10%ers is Red Dwarf cano

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WE WANT RED DWARF FLYING OUT OF OUR KIBBUTZ

Israeli remake of Red Dwarf.

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i’ve lurked occasionally for a long time but at some point in the autumn, i realised i’d not seen half of XI and XII, and re-engaged with the show. i watched the ones i hadn’t seen, and then rewatched the ones i had. i enjoyed listening to the historic episode commentary podcasts. eventually i thought “you know what? that’s a fandom that seems mostly actually OK and full of like-minded people. why not engage with it a bit?”

i think i was in a bit of an examine-my-past mood in the autumn. it coincided with me going through old photos and files, which resulted in a small haul of fanfiction, fan art, and the photo in my profile picture (a genuine photo from 1993!), which i don’t need to tell you what it is.

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It’s a smegging garbageman!

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Rebellion
Addiction
Redaction
Preservation
Explosion
Reproduction

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(No I’ve never seen IASIP, why do you ask?)

Basic Catering
Advanced Consciousness Transferral
Introduction to Lying
Comparative Studies in Despair

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The One With Lister’s Wedding

(Am I doing this right?)

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HALL OF FAME, am I right guys?

Oh, someone punch him out.

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‘Bye, man.

(Thanks.)

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don’t forget there was a lot of interest in American football in the UK in the late 80s / early 90s – there was a high profile channel 4 programme which showed highlights weekly.

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i mean in fairness, series 1 was “never to be repeated”

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do i count as a regular yet?

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KNOWING SMEG KNOWING HEAD

The Red Dwarf crew just randomly appear in character, in an episode of Knowing Me, Knowing You as guests for half an hour. No attempt is made to explain how this occurred, or why the studio audience is expected to know who the Red Dwarf crew are.

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The style of modern sitcom that’s popular lately are ensembles and Red Dwarf is very bottley. Workplace sitcoms are often set at a kind of job that’s a plot generator, too – Red Dwarf eventually did hit upon “the boys investigate a derelict” formula, but it’s not exactly baked into the format of the show. I wonder if Red Dwarf USA would have gone straight to that – it’s the only way to really make 22 episodes a year of the show I would have thought.

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Pitch it to baby cow!

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he liked “Timewave” (!)

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not that I’ve seen

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ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLY WOOD

The crew go back in time and accidentally save Sharon Tate from the Manson family murders, creating a dystopian future.

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HOLLY INFLATABLE SHARK BATMAN

The crew encounter an alternative reality in which Holly is played by Burt Ward.

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