DwarfCast 150 - Wafflemen Special #3: A Catsworth of Toast featured image
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In a small break from our regularly scheduled programming (and while we figure out what commentary we want to do next) we’ve put together another tottering stack of waffles for you you cram into your eager maws. Just how much of this episode is devoted to talking about cats? Who will Danny impersonate this time? Will Cappsy be hearing from the RSPCA’s lawyers? Find out!

DwarfCast 150 – Wafflemen Special #3: A Catsworth of Toast (73.2MB)

As amazing at it is that we’ve been able to sustain three waffle specials, we’re seeing signs this might be the last one of these for a while as we’ve likely talked about literally everything related to Red Dwarf at this point, so unless you want to start using us for relationship advice or to give you cheat codes for Shadow of the Beast then we might need to wait a while for the general waffle supplies to recover. In the meantime, please do tune in for the next episode of DwarfCasts as we continue our immensely enjoyable (for us, at least) Smegazine Rack series!

Show notes

61 comments on “DwarfCast 150 – Wafflemen Special #3: A Catsworth of Toast

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  • I often wear the Kryten “Oral sex in zero gravity” t-shirt and think nothing of it, and really, that’s much worse than having “Twat It” on the front.

  • … and it didn’t disappoint! Good stuff, even if the supply of waffles is dwindling. I hope that someone saves the clip of Ian saying “we’re not doing The Log”, just so it’s ready to be edited together with “Hello, and welcome to the DwarfCast Book Club: The Log, Part One” in 2025.

    The ‘Yesterday’ question is an interesting one, because the practicality of reproducing Red Dwarf as the only one who remembers it would be even more difficult than recreating songs (because although the Beatles obviously didn’t create their discography alone, they were much more auteuristic as a band than the production of a TV show is). On the other hand, it’s a lot more plausible that a world without Red Dwarf would be largely the same as one with it, just because it’s so much more niche.

    The premise of ‘Yesterday’ actually makes more sense for Red Dwarf than The Beatles. It’s baffling to me, because you’d think such a film would be a love letter to the band, and not establish that music/world history is completely identical without The Beatles, and also any modern semi-pro musician can just perform the songs from memory 60 years later and get equivalent success, without any of the Beatles’ talents for writing for the time or performing or building their public personas being a factor at all. Imagine ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ but George sees what life would be like if he was never born, and finds it’s basically the same. “I mean, of course, you’re only one man. You’re not even famous or anything. Maybe you should kill yourself?”

    Incidentally, ever since I heard he supported Brexit, whenever I hear “poor Ringo” I think “nah, fuck him”.

    Regarding the returning question of the luck virus, to be even pseudo-scientific it has to be that it just causes your senses and subsconscious intelligence to become so heightened that you can always intuit what the most successful course of action is (e.g. in Quarantine they remember on the some level the corridor where all those items they need are, or in Back in the Red maybe Lister can see fingerprints from where the correct keys to his cell lock have been pressed), but on a storytelling level “you take the virus and lucky stuff just starts happening to you passively” just feels right, and it must be how things happen with the luck virus in the show a lot of the time. So really, there’s no satisfying or complete answer, and we should stop looking for one.

    Also, just a small point: the reason why YouTube channels insist you enable notifications is because YouTube gained a reputation some years back for frequently failing to show random newly uploaded videos in people’s subscription feeds, so enabling notifications for each channel was the only way to guarantee you won’t miss stuff. If you don’t want to be annoyed by push notifications, you can just disable them on your device, and only see them when you open the app or website. That’s what I do.

  • Haha, oh no, my follow up comment lost its line/paragraph breaks and when it tried to edit them back in, it disappeared from public view. My apologies if it comes back as an inpenetrable wall of text.

  • Hey cool, my comment made it out of limbo. On reflection, perhaps my swearing triggered a filter of some sort. Maybe an anti-Ringo Starr defamation filter.

  • Great Dwarfcast.

    The section on the T-Shirts really resonated with me. I’m sure at least some of us here will be familiar with the online store Last Exit To Nowhere (and it’s ilk), which takes in-universe logos and brands to create striking designs that also have an in-joke element where you have to be at least somewhat “in the know” to pick up on the reference, making it a bit more subtle than a big character image, quote or title logo. It feels like there would be endless scope for designs and brands like this from the Red Dwarf universe (Divadroid, Crapola, M-Corp, JMC, Mugs Murphy, Groovy Channel 27 etc.) so it’s been a shame that so few of the official designs have followed this route.

    On “Yesterday”, I watched it a few months ago and it’s not actually that bad – it’s very Richard Curtis but quite nicely done overall, and there are a few fun gags about other things that don’t exist in that world.

    Also: guilty on the L&H inspiration for the Dwarfcast idea (I’m sure I at least subliminally had Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall’s Huge Furry Wishing Stall in my mind when I wrote that suggestion).

    Oh, and the section with the jokes reminded me of a none-more-awkward occasion when a friend of mine told his auntie the “what do you call a black man flying a plane?” joke, and before he could follow up with the punchline she volunteered two separate suggested answers that each contained different highly offensive racial epithets, making the punchline a rather uncomfortable moment in which he correctly identified her as a racist, rather than the ironic reversal of expectations that he intended.

  • Hey cool, my comment made it out of limbo. On reflection, perhaps my swearing triggered a filter of some sort. Maybe an anti-Ringo Starr defamation filter.

    I do not have a single clue what the fuck happened there. When you posted earlier I looked for the lost count I’m the approval queue and didn’t find it, so fuck knows why it’s just appeared now!

  • Enjoyed this immensely, but… are posters out of favour? Did I miss a meeting?Would an OST release not be good merch? Has there already been one and I missed it? Or is there no real point with a lot being freely available on the net? I’d really love an officially released album.The talk about Yesterday’s Dwarf just made me envisage a movie where the climax is a stressed out sci-fi comedy writer having a meeting with Robert Carlyle playing a reclusive but happy Rob Grant. But that’s not the spirit of the question, it’s basically a modern-day recast question, and I agree Peter Kay’s appearance would be a huge ratings boost and people would watch just for his being killed off alone. Then again, Kay doesn’t have a great record when it comes to sci-fi. Caitlin Moran would have to find something else to be ignorant about in place of Red Dwarf, but I’ve seen evidence to suggest that any wardrobe built to house the things she’s clueless about would cross an international time zone.Robot Wars’ second host would probably be Richard Hammond, right? Doing the Wipeout thing a decade earlier, but with robots instead of humans and fire instead of water. Happily, Philippa Forrester would still be involved. Although I think BBC radio would be significantly less fun without Craig Charles’s show.I’m so glad you plumped for the luck virus instead of the alternative.Out of interest, what was the games podcast Capps mentioned? I may have missed the title, I was doing the washing up.That first post-credits bit was utterly adorable.Thanks for the ‘cast, I’ve had a lot of stress lately and listening to this on a Sunday evening has really lightened my mood.P.S. Fuck Ringo.

    P.P.S Formatting’s a bit buggered, eh? Oh well, fuck Ringo.

  • Not sure about butter, but I think The Log made the observation “why do toasters have a setting that burns the toast?”, which I do wonder from time to time (A: different types of bread and non bread-products require different heat).

    I don’t know whether Red Dwarf has significantly affected the course of my life, but Lee and Herring definitely have, since going up to the Fringe a few times as a student primarily to see them (separately) led to me deciding that Edinburgh would be a nice place to live for a while after graduation, and life branched from there.

  • I do not have a single clue what the fuck happened there. When you posted earlier I looked for the lost count I’m the approval queue and didn’t find it, so fuck knows why it’s just appeared now!

  • Out of interest, what was the games podcast Capps mentioned?

    I don’t think I mentioned the name but it’s the Crate & Crowbar, which was spun off from the old PC Gamer UK podcast about ten years ago and is very excellent.

  • Genuine suggestion for a Dwarfcast: do a Robot Wars commentary, ideally for a series 2 or 3 episode where all the robots are shit and the attitude to health and safety is obviously nonexistent

  • If you do Robot Wars, do a Scrapheap as well. Ideally an ep featuring the Barley Pickers. 
    (In years past, I would have suggested we revisit the brothers Strawbridge, but nowadays, Dick’s ‘tache has too much of its own celebrity.)

  • When I first heard about Yesterday, I thought a far better idea for a movie would be the same premise but he doesn’t become famous. It would be funnier for the guy to be playing “I Am the Walrus” for people and nobody would give it the time of day because who is this random guy in off the street?

    Then I found out that was actually how the original screenplay went, but when Richard Curtis bought the rights, he threw out everything but the original conceit and rewrote it from scratch in a totally different direction.

  • If only David Ross had been available for Series III we could potentially have had all of Red Dwarf, AND Robert saving the world. Or at least he might have got round to inventing that foot-measuring perfectly-fitting 3D-printed shoe making gizmo he had the idea for.
    Shit derivations of nicknames has reminded me of Greg Davies’ brilliant bit of stand-up on the same subject. There was a lad at my school we called ‘Seymour’ because he had quite big eyes. 

  • Shit derivations of nicknames has reminded me of Greg Davies’ brilliant bit of stand-up on the same subject. There was a lad at my school we called ‘Seymour’ because he had quite big eyes.

    Also reminds me of Blindboy’s story about someone he knew who got the nickname ‘octopus’ because he was seen buying four pairs of jeans in Top Man.

  • If only David Ross had been available for Series III we could potentially have had all of Red Dwarf, AND Robert saving the world. Or at least he might have got round to inventing that foot-measuring perfectly-fitting 3D-printed shoe making gizmo he had the idea for.

    Shit derivations of nicknames has reminded me of Greg Davies’ brilliant bit of stand-up on the same subject. There was a lad at my school we called ‘Seymour’ because he had quite big eyes.

    Amazing.

    I remember one of them was called Baghdad. Because his dad… once bought him a bag…

  • That’s my favourite bit. The funniest thing about that one is that everyone still calls him Baghdad, including his own children. 

  • Listened to this last night whilst walking the dog (what an exciting life I lead!) and enjoyed it as always, so well done chaps. :D

    Shame to hear that the waffle supplies are running low. I can only speak for myself of course but personally a combination of disorganisation and general busy-ness keeps me from responding to things like a call for fresh waffles particularly quickly. I’ve still got waffle candidates that I would put forward for future consideration if there were still interest among the ‘Cast cast in doing more waffle-men specials or segments! Personally I always find it highly enjoyable to hear what you make of people’s questions and queries.

    Thanks for the mention/recommendation on the gaming podcast btw – I’ve been struggling to find one that I click with so it’s nice to have another contender to give a shot!

  • I’ve still got waffle candidates that I would put forward for future consideration if there were still interest among the ‘Cast cast in doing more waffle-men specials or segments!

    I would say waffles are always welcome so we can keep them on the spreadsheet!

  • One suggested waffle that recently occurred to me: how important is it to still maintain the “no aliens” rule, given that the show now takes place in such a populated universe?I could understand the rationale more in the early days of the show when there was more of a vibe of isolation and loneliness, but now that we’re constantly running into new groups of characters (GELFs, cat people, simulants, droids etc.) – even though they’re technically of Earth origin – is it really that different to just having bona fide aliens around?

  • Another thanks for the podcast recommendation. Subscribed and will listen to the Horse Bows to No Master episode any moment now (I hope I’ve subscribed to the right one and nothing too transgressive is about to attack me ears). 

    As for aliens in Red Dwarf, I think it would be a bad idea, but maybe if it was a last episode thing. I always thought bringing back the crew would only potentially work if it was a climax to the series. Imply a host wildly different future episodes without ruining them by actually making them.

  • how important is it to still maintain the “no aliens” rule, given that the show now takes place in such a populated universe?

    Since it was explicitly confirmed relatively recently in Krysis, and they’ve kept it up for so long, there’s no point going back on it now (if there’s even any more Red Dwarf). Though they could always come from another Universe, and maybe that explains the more ambiguous references.

  • We will be recording a DwarfCast on Robot Wars this weekend. Give us your Robo Waffles!

  • Is Sergeant Bash the Robot Wars analogue for Rimmer, given his continuing lack of promotion to the officer class despite his many years of long service?

    Or would Lieutenant Bash just sound silly?

  • Also, is it wrong that I now mainly remember Robot Wars from the Spaced episode about it rather than from the show itself?

  • No, I don’t think that’s weird – it’s my go to cultural reference for Robot Wars as well!

    Do you think they should have kept the other kinds of rounds from the first series of Robot Wars? (I think they had to do a race and an obstacle course in addition to just fighting) I quite liked the more rounded tests of the robots abilities but have to admit it probably wasn’t as exciting.

    Is “SRIMEC” that they came up with for Self Righting Mechanism the worst abbreviation the world has ever known? Sounds like something Doug would casually drop into a book with zero explanation!

    What’s everyone’s favourite robot? For me they got a bit boring when everyone just went down the “wedge+flipper” route so I have a soft spot for the outliers. The one that was covered in fur was always a favourite! Flail based designs were always fun as well – watching something spinning out of control never gets tiring! Hypnodisc was great too!

    Favourite moments? The house robots getting roughed up by competitors was always good value to watch. I also remember a robot from the early few series that was hailed as being indestructible and costing tens of thousands to produce, but was actually just a bit crap! 

  • Ooh, also – anyone got a favourite Craig Charles robo poem? They may have been cheesy but I was always entertained by them because to be fair it’s hard to think of that many original things to rhyme with “wars”

  • Ooh, also – anyone got a favourite Craig Charles robo poem? They may have been cheesy but I was always entertained by them because to be fair it’s hard to think of that many original things to rhyme with “wars”

    “We’re watching TV and trying to talk, fast

    It’s Robot Wars on this week’s Dwarfcast”

    *kisses fingers*

  • >The one that was covered in fur was always a favourite!

    The grinning ladybird is the main one I remember, and the operators pissing themselves when it went up in flames on cue. The other end of the emotional spectrum from the young kids having their dreams torn apart before their eyes.

  • Razer or Diotoir for my favourites, for being good and being hilarious respectively. Hypnodisc was great too but was actually pretty shite in comparison to later robots.They’re all pretty twee compared to Robot Wars Dara Edition though.

  • Clarkson or O’Briain?

    Do you think it would have had the same popularity without Craig? How much influence do you think he had on the show’s success?

    How well (or not) do you think the new series went?

  • If you had to draft a skutter into the robot wars, what modifications would you make to give it the best chance of survival?

  • Isn’t it generally a bit weird how Red Dwarf made Craig Charles a well known face of robotics for a while, with Robot Wars, and that magazine where you built a shite little robot, and generally propelled a lot of the cast into science/technology/engineering programming despite the characters being dogshit at science/technology/engineering.

  • Any takers on how many totally random pieces of trivia along the lines of “Chaos 2 vs Tornado had to be fought three times” I can shoehorn into the comments section for the next Dwarfcast?

  • Fuck, that was shit, sorry.
    My actual question is: There’s that bit in the 100 Greatest Sitcoms, or maybe it was Comedy Connections, I forget which and it could be neither, but Craig says something along the lines of ‘seventy million viewers every week. They can’t all be anoraks, can they?’ My question is, do you think his hosting Robot Wars had something to do with this somewhat dismissive view of the geekier end of fandoms? Or at least, the view he seemed to have at the time. Obviously things have changed now, with Craig being the epitome of grace and charm these days while Robot Wars fans have become highly respected journalists for Den of Geek (just one example of a publication from seventy million).

    I meant to fit in the phrase ‘the fuckest uppest’ in my question, but it just didn’t work.

  • Please get in at least one ‘Oh yeah I hadn’t thought of that’ thanks.

    There’s nothing more devastating than a big chopper.

  • Please get in at least one ‘Oh yeah I hadn’t thought of that’ thanks.

    There’s nothing more devastating than a big chopper.

    Shh. Don’t cheapen this.

  • Please get in at least one ‘Oh yeah I hadn’t thought of that’ thanks.

    Get Danny to do it. 

    As Brian Blessed. 

  • Haha. Either that or I’d really like to hear Danny Blessed give us a reading of:”What do you mean, crying shame? You did it, you fucking plum”

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