Jokes you don't/didn't get

[bloodteller]

i know there’s the thing of “the joke isn’t funny if you explain it” but were there ever gags in Red Dwarf you didn’t get? and if so, what?

i never quite got what Cat’s “stan and ollie” line in White Hole was about, for example. nor did i get what “see you in ten minutes?” (repeat x10) from Pete was all about, and also Rimmer’s “steers and queers, which are you boy?” joke from Meltdown

Topic

[Pete Part Three]

Um, yeah. Always thought it had been (at least partially) removed by the bolt cutters. And, having just re-read that chapter, I’m sticking with that interpretation, actually.

I’m not sure it’s a big betrayal of the way the novels are written, either. Bound to be Rob.

[Pete Part Three]

(Incidentally, not sure what damage you could do to a nose with a pair of bolt cutters that wouldn’t involve it being removed)

[Plastic Percy]

At the very least use them as a blunt object to break his nose. The thugs are articulate enough to make small talk about the traffic and the hotel’s irritating choices of decor and muzak, so they’re probably at least clever enough to use bolt cutters for, y’know, cutting.

[clem]

I’ve just read it and I still reckon they cut it off. From the way the bolt clippers are mentioned it really seems like the reader’s meant to infer they’re gonna do something really horrible to him, worse than just duffing him up. I wonder how much Doug used to rein in Rob’s penchant for this kind of grisliness when they were writing together.

[Hamish]

[Hamish]

Knew I would get something wrong:

[Moonlight]

I’m looking forward to Rob Grant’s Saw reboot.

[Ben Saunders]

ROB: …And then I think he should run out of the room with his nose in some tissues, holding it to his face with blood pouring out of him like a leaking waterbed before he faints from lack of blood, and wakes up again only to be pissed on by three rabid dogs and eaten alive by maggots.
DOUG: Have another biscuit, mate.

[Seb Patrick]

I’ve always interpreted that as them cutting it off, yes.

[bloodteller]

a joke i never got was in Holoship, Crane tells Rimmer he makes love like a Japanese meal- “small portions, but so many courses”. is this a joke that he has a small penis, or is it about how he’s very quick in bed?considering he only spent twelve minutes with Yvonne McGruder and such, i always thought it was the latter.

[bloodteller]

Red Dwarf’s penis gags always seem to be the ones that have multiple interpretations, it seems. there’s the age-old debate of exactly what Rimmer saw in Lister’s trousers in Bodyswap etc.

[Warbodog]

Presumably she was won over by his concise pacing.

Speaking of, I just watched Pete Part Three’s Holoship Xtended edit, but didn’t want to bump that old forum thread with its still surviving dailymotion links. I always wondered what the complete episode would be like (there still might be a few lines lost to time, based on Smeg Ups glimpses), and I prefer it with the flab. Episodes like Holoship and Inquisitor have always felt a bit rapid and distractingly abridged to me, bit that might all be down to those couple of scenes that clearly cut off abruptly between lines.

[Dave]

I remember a friend of mine at school somehow mishearing the Holoship/Japanese meal line as “you make love like a raw mule”, which changes the meaning considerably.

[RickLee84]

Or a Japanese mule. Which raises a few more questions

[Ben Paddon]

I always interpreted that one as “You’ve got a small donger, but you didn’t arf make me come a bunch.”

[Ben Saunders]

I always interpreted it as Rimmer cumming quickly but going for several rounds.

[Dave]

I agree with Ben.

[Pete Part Three]

Um, yeah, I don’t think it’s a reference to the size of his cock. It’s premature ejaculation, but quick recovery to go again.

[Warbodog]

It’s almost a haiku, if you take out the “but.”

And somewhat more elegant than the later Asian culinary simile, “The last human being alive and he’s got less brains than a macaque recus monkey after the first course of a Vietnamese is this sentence still droning on and there’s an aircraft up ahead isn’t there.”

[Seb Patrick]

I think you can take the Nirvanah line either way and it’s funny either way, but I definitely took it (given his past form) as over quickly but ready to go again soldier just as quickly.

[Plastic Percy]

Given the look on his face after she tells him, Rimmer is just as confused over the statement as well.

I always figured it’s a little of column A, a little of column B. He’s hardly Charles Atlas in the trouser department, but he makes up for it with gusto and enthusiasm.

[Lily]

I’ve always took it as finishing quickly, but being up for it again quickly and repeatedly.

[Dave]

I always interpreted is as meaning he literally cooks her a Japanese meal instead of having sex with her, and she is describing the meal.

[bloodteller]

you could be right there, in japan they have a thing called nyotaimori which is where they eat sushi off the body of a naked woman. so perhaps that’s what he did to her

[bloodteller]

“it’s never been like THAT before…”

[Ian Symes]

You can serve it on a nudey lady if you like it rude.

[Plastic Percy]

Maybe he sellotaped a picture of Sue Carpenter over her face and tucked right in to the sushi. I know I would.

[Ben Saunders]

Demons & Angels is on Dave right now, and we’ve just been hit with the line “In less time than it takes a Norwegian to buy ski-boots!”

Which is funny because… it… snows a lot in Norway?

Also, Kryten says -he- threw the triplicator in reverse, but I’m pretty sure it was Lister. And I don’t know if the episode itself is rather hastily edited together, or if Dave removed some material because of time/decency restraints.

[Ben Saunders]

Should be noted that the ski-boots line gets absolutely no audience reaction whatsoever, but is quickly followed by the wonderful Awooga Waltz line, so all is well

[Pete Part Three]

>Which is funny because… it… snows a lot in Norway?

That is the extent of the joke, yes.

> I don’t know if the episode itself is rather hastily edited together, or if Dave removed some material because of time/decency restraints.

If you watch the DVD Documentary for Series V, Demons and Angels is singled out as being notoriously difficult to make, and they have to do a shedload of pick-ups (with hangovers, it seems) as a result of Juliet May departing.

[Ben Saunders]

That’s interesting because honestly watching it on Dave there it all felt a bit… shit. The beginning feels pretty rushed, Robert looks bored and some of the camerawork looks shoddy, especially the handheld stuff. It sort of caught me off guard because I’ve watched this episode dozens of times, as recently as a couple of months ago, and none of this ever bothered me before. There was a level of “I’m watching actors on a set” to it that distanced me from it.

Oh well, the poll ranks it as the worst of V so I can’t be alone.

The audience laughing when Red Dwarf blows up is also pretty strange

[Ben Saunders]

Also it looks like Robert is reading from an idiot board in one shot but i think he’s actually just looking from Lister to Rimmer and back more than is natural and the camera angle makes it look like a typical “Bobby reads a board” performance

[Dave]

the camera angle makes it look like a typical “Bobby reads a board” performance

Demons and angles

[Ben Saunders]

I can be your angle or yuor demon

[bloodteller]

another one i didn’t get- in Emohawk, Duane goes through his list of the supplies he’s prepared for Ace’s plan, finishing with “and one triple-thick condom!…you never know!” is the joke here-

A. that Duane expects he might inexplicably meet and fuck some women in the airlock?

B. a reference to the condom’s thickness- a regular condom might break and wind up getting somebody pregnant, so he’s got a triple-thick one just to make sure?

C. that Duane expects he might seduce Ace and have sex with him?

[Ian Symes]

A.

[International Debris]

He’s not aware that he won’t be leaving the airlock alive, so he’s preparing for wherever his exciting scout mission is taking him.

[Pete Part Three]

Of course, the Patrick McGoohan style irony here is that the condom belongs to The Cat and he likely takes it everywhere too.

[Warbodog]

I just figured it had been created out of thin air along with his extra teeth enamel, hair and other belongings that appeared nearby.

As for B, Duane is an excitable virgin, so the thickness will help keep the wolf from the door, so to speak.

[Plastic Percy]

It’s a bit odd that he manages to find clothing identical to the fictional ones he wore in a hallucination, not to mention that he apparently finds them in the cockpit of Starbug.

I’ve always rationalised that they’re from some of the storage cases and that they belong to Rimmer, the sort of dorky clothes his mother bought for him.

[bloodteller]

tbh i found it kind of funny how he just suddenly has all these items seemingly out of nowhere. i never really thought about where the sandwiches and parka and such came from, i just put it down to the slightly cartoony feel of Emohawk. maybe Cat has them just in case looking like a total dork becomes fashionable

[flanl3]

They were sitting in the kitchen in case the crew ran out of food.

[Hamish]

There were two Emohawks, one of which was more intelligent than the first and impersonated Duane Dibbley for rest of the episode in order to avoid detection. After defeating its rival and freezing Lister, Rimmer, and Kryten, the actual Cat somehow manages to come back to defeat the Duane polymorph and save the day off screen.

[Hamish]

Either that or there was just one Emohawk that assumed the form of Duane and created the illusion of another polymorph in order to covertly freeze the rest of the crew when they let their guard down. After all, we have no idea if creating a detached extension of itself is beyond an Emohawk’s abilities.

[bloodteller]

he found the clothes, thermos etc. in the same place the posse found the GELF costumes in Beyond A Joke and the mirror universe machine in Only The Good…maybe the crew just have a crate full of miscellaneous items with them just in case they need them?

this “stuff appearing out of nowhere” discussion reminded me of something- in Dimension Jump, Ace punches Kryten out and then asks Rimmer to reroute his circuitry to get him back online. Rimmer obviously can’t because he’s a hologram and he even mentions this, yet in the next scene Kryten is fully functional again. did he just miraculously spring back to life?

[bloodteller]

according to Krysis the Universe is sentient and such, so maybe all continuity errors can now be accounted for with “the Universe did it”

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

Maybe Ace isn’t aware Kryten has self repairing nano-bots

[bloodteller]

CAT- You’re gonna squeeze their rolls? That’s irritating, but in many ways they’ll be quite relieved!!!

i really liked this gag when i first heard it, and my brain always just sort of assosciated it with Baxter wanking the two of them off. but in the “Only The Good…” Dwarfcast somebody explains it as the two of them not caring about their breadrolls in relation to their current predicament. what is it?

[Moonlight]

Oh please, if we do shit Series VIII jokes we’re gonna be here all night.

[Pete Part Three]

What’s the general consensus on Series VIII?

[Author]

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