Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum PLOTS FOR SERIES 11

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  • #202953
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    PLOTS FOR SERIES 11?

    I would like to see serious bad guys in some sort of in ship battle!

    #202954
    srmcd1
    Participant

    That’s nice, honey. You do that…

    #202955

    Sounds hilarious. (…)

    #202958
    si
    Participant

    Plots for RDXI? In a Twenty fifth anniversary special, the crew rediscover the stasis leak, which now only takes them back as far as the events of series one. As they know their future selves weren’t around at the time, they leave again, but not before hiding and indulging in some BTTF2 style revisiting of old events using split screens and stuff. Even though, admittedly, they kind of did that joke in Stasis Leak anyway. Oh, whatever, it was the first thing I thought of, leave me alone…

    #202959
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I would like to see an episode revolving around the fact that the word “butter” has “butt” in it.

    #202960
    Reece
    Participant

    I always thought about an episode where the crew find an abandoned DivaDroid space station. It would be very much a Kryten-based story. He finds failed experiments and sympathises with them, kinda like Ripley from Alien Resurrection when she finds the failed clones.

    #202961
    si
    Participant

    Red Dwarf/Hyperdrive crossover.

    #202962
    NoFro
    Participant

    Strike a light, Si’s a genius!

    #202963
    si
    Participant

    Well, I try my best….you’re being sarcastic, aren’t you?

    #202964
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    He finds failed experiments and sympathises with them, kinda like Ripley from Alien Resurrection when she finds the failed clones.

    That is when Kryten realises that the chest plate wasn’t just a decorative circle. but it was a ‘0’ and he was the first in a line of experiments where they kept trying…. and failed…

    #202965
    NoFro
    Participant

    “Beyond an Experiment”

    #202966
    Reece
    Participant

    but it was a ’0′ and he was the first in a line of experiments where they kept trying…. and failed…

    It’s the perfect plot, I tell you!

    #202967
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Another one Could be Cat World! Where his one set of ancestors went to!
    I Think the other ship flew into the sun! Throw in a few advanced Dogs as antagonist!
    The Church of Lister should be in it,Nuns Bishops,Pope! that should appeal to RD religion sant!

    #202968
    Ridley
    Participant

    That is when Kryten realises that the chest plate wasn’t just a decorative circle. but it was a ’0′ and he was the first in a line of experiments where they kept trying…. and failed…

    I could see this happening.

    #202969
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    I like Si’s anniversary show but it should be 1 hour+ long!

    #202970
    si
    Participant

    How about an anniversary show where the cast introduce clips from past shows, but in costume?

    #202971

    It’ll never happen.

    #202980
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Si’s would be cheap to make! And the most fitting or the occasion! but they all would have to be there! plus guest stars!

    #202981
    Stephen R. Fletcher
    Participant

    I can’t think of ideas for future plots, but I do have a scene in my head:

    LISTER: Kryten, I’m home!
    KRYTEN: What? Already, sir?
    LISTER: Yes.

    #202983
    performingmonkey
    Participant

    I want a VII-done-right, almost-TNG-ripoff one where Kryten is flying Blue Midget alone and is either attacked or hit by an asteroid, resulting in him crashing on a nearby moon. The rest of the crew get to him but he’s badly damaged, with his whole body crushed beyond repair. Barely being able to speak, he manages to get out one clear word – ‘nettie’ before closing his eyes. Rimmer, checking a panel on Kryten’s side, says ‘his systems have stopped functioning’ and Lister says ‘no, man, he’s dead…’ and they walk away.

    Later, back on the Dwarf, Lister goes down to Kryten’s quarters. Realising he’s never actually been inside, he tries the door, only to be prompted for an entry code. Punching in ‘nettie’, as the door opens he’s suddenly bombarded with loud music by none other than Rastabilly Skank! After a brief ‘what the smeg?’ he walks in and there’s a mechanoid with its back to him, ‘hi dad…’ she says as she turns and both she and Lister scream.

    Kryten has spent the past 10 years building his own mechanoid child and…yeah there’s not much that could be done with that idea but Nettie would end up rebuilding Kryten and then have to die somehow (as all female characters must do on this show ;))…that would be it.

    Or the crew find a nudist planet, populated by GELFs.

    #202986
    srmcd1
    Participant

    Or maybe Nettie could fall in love with a green blobby GELF.

    #202992
    clem
    Participant

    That reminds me of the Batman: The Brave and the Bold episode where Red Tornado builds a robot son. It is sad.

    #202994
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    I think the Cat should do a shit.

    #202995
    srmcd1
    Participant

    And he should do it backwards.

    #202996
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    In a litter box?

    #202997
    performingmonkey
    Participant

    An episode where they do some actual mining.

    #202998
    Ridley
    Participant

    I think the Cat should do a shit.

    Adapt Carter’s fan comic? They should, yes.

    #203000
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    I’d like to see an actual dwarf, painted red.

    #203043
    srmcd1
    Participant

    I know we’re taking the piss out of this thread, but I just thought of a cliffhanger…

    Lister and co get attacked by another weird space entity that forces them to choose between two of their greatest desires. Some would be funny, like Cat trying to decide between two different suits, and some would be serious, like Rimmer becoming an officer or having real friends.

    But the final one would be Lister’s decision: the creature opens a portal in space big enough for Red Dwarf to pass through that could take them back to Earth, but they don’t know what time period they’ll wind up in, and it’ll close permanently as soon as they’re on the other side. But the choice comes from this: does he take a chance at returning to Earth in an unknown era, or does he stay out in deep space and keep looking for Kochanski?

    #203045
    Carlito
    Participant

    Why would he choose Earth in an unknown era at all?

    If it was the Earth he wanted to return to (‘present’ day or at least the time period he originated from), then you got a dilemma. Otherwise, he’s been to Earth several times already, out of his own time. He didn’t stay then, why would he abandon his dream now?

    #203047
    Connell
    Participant

    They should do one with dinosaurs. And it should have eight parts, each more tedious than the previous.

    #203057
    JamesTC
    Participant

    I want an episode in which Lister says “Starbug too” and Kryten mishears him. Hilarious consequences.

    #203063
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    I want episodes where some really intriguing, interesting concepts were introduced, not just hokey stupid idea like dinosaurs, ideas that make you think well past watching the episo— what? That’s happened already?… So it has!!

    #203067
    Ridley
    Participant

    Just because for some reason VIII doesn’t hit your G&T-spot, I don’t see how the concepts could never have been turned into better received episodes.

    #203109
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Series VII was choc-a-bloc with brilliant ideas, I thought. VIII had some too.

    #203208
    Kris Carter
    Participant

    “Adapt Carter’s fan comic? They should, yes.”

    Oohhh, hush you…

    #203452
    peas_and_corn
    Participant

    >LISTER: Kryten, I’m home!
    >KRYTEN: What? Already, sir?
    >LISTER: Yes.

    Look out, Kryten!

    #203526
    takerdemon
    Participant

    >LISTER: Kryten, I’m home!
    >KRYTEN: What? Already, sir?
    >LISTER: Yes.

    THIS!

    #203529
    stubbleless
    Participant

    I want an episode where Lister gets a rash… on his bum

    #203531
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    I want an episode where Lister gets a VD from a vending machine.

    #203533
    CackThosePants
    Participant

    Rimmer meets Brittas.

    I’d like an episode where they explore more of the ship like everyone elses quarters etc.

    BRING BACK HATTIE AND STARBUG!

    #203535
    NoFro
    Participant

    I’d like to see them revisit old parts of the ship. Not necessarily key sets like the bunk rooms, but it’d be nice if they had to go to a different part of the ship in an episode and the set design evoked the series 1-2 look or 3-5 look or even the BTE style.

    #203536
    Phil
    Participant

    I’d like to see them revisit comedy.

    #203538
    mick
    Participant

    I’d like to see more Native American dwarfs.

    #203580
    JamesTC
    Participant

    Episode 1: Kryten is arrested when he is mistaken for a serial killer. After he is exonerated, Rimmer, Lister, and he return to Red Dwarf.

    Episode 2: Simulant television executives approach Rimmer and Lister to write a pilot for a sitcom. Hogey the Roguey begins to stalk both Rimmer and Kryten.

    Episode 3: Cat uses Kryten as his witness when the former refuses to pay for a speeding ticket. In court, they make up a story of why he was he going that fast: Cat was trying to stop Kryten from killing himself because he didn’t get a job as a banker.

    Episode 4: Rimmer’s parents come to Red Dwarf to see a medi-bot for the back pain of Rimmer’s father. Morty Rimmer thinks his wallet has been stolen at the medi-bot’s. So he leaves without hearing the diagnosis. Rimmer is asked to explain to his parents why he does not wear the watch they gave him. Lister has an unsuccessful plan to hold out for more money for their simulant pilot (13,000 all together).

    Episode 5: Rimmer tries to buy his watch back from Uncle Frank, who found it in the garbage, having been thrown there by Rimmer. Lister tries to resurrect the fledgling simulant deal, while Kochanski plans a break up from her psychotherapist with Kryten’s help. Lister gets the pilot back, by accepting less money (8,000).

    Episode 6: Rimmer agrees to visit a boy who lives in a plastic bubble on the way to Holly’s parents’ cabin. Rimmer loses his way, though, and Kochanski, Lister, and Holly visit the boy instead. Kryten goes to the cabin with Rimmer’s ex-girlfriend, resulting in a fire

    #203591
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    And perhaps open each episode with Doug doing some observational comedy about telesales.

    #203592
    srmcd1
    Participant

    I find it funny that Lister is George. Also the visual of Rimmer doing stand up comedy.

    #203594
    CackThosePants
    Participant

    They need to do a Christmas special. Didn’t Doug plan one a while back?

    #203595
    Katydid
    Participant

    We’ll never forget Red Christmas.

    #203597
    Stephen R. Fletcher
    Participant

    >LISTER: Kryten, I’m home!
    >KRYTEN: What? Already, sir?
    >LISTER: Yes.

    THIS!

    I would prefer the scene be shot without a studio audience, but with pauses for laughter left in.

    #203603
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    THE WALKING DEAD DWARF. WDD-1

    #203605
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Forget series XI. I want a spin off show with all my favourite characters: Hogey, Irene, the Medibot, the Data Doctor, Bird Man, Kill Crazy, that woman who raped Rimmer, Nice Nigel and Taiwan Tony.

    #203612
    MANI506
    Participant

    I never saw Red Christmas but I read John Hoare’s review so I think I got the best out of that situation.

    #203631
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    All I wanted was a sitcom! Is that too much to ask? A sitcom in a biscuit factory!

    #204171
    dodgelister
    Participant

    kryten gets a female genital attachment and lister forgets all about finding kochanski.

    #204177

    The crew find Kochanski on a planet inhabited by her clones (in the same way as Rimmerworld) and decide they can just “have one each”.

    #204200
    Connell
    Participant

    I want to see an episode set in space. I don’t think Doug has ever thought of taking the show in that direction, could be interesting

    #204212
    Reece
    Participant

    kryten gets a female genital attachment and lister forgets all about finding kochanski.

    Red Dwarf XXX

    #204240
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    I want to see an episode set in space. I don’t think Doug has ever thought of taking the show in that direction, could be interesting

    Computer, set a plot in space…

    #204241
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    I have already done that, Doug. It doesn’t go well because the audience needs French windows. There is now no need for you to write this plot.

    #204243
    Ben Kirkham
    Participant

    Here’s one – the Red Dwarf crew wake up one day… and they’ve all got tails. Squirrel tails, fox tails, all sorts of tails.

    No?

    #204249
    JamesTC
    Participant

    Kryten buys a new hat and Rimmer is jealous. Meanwhile, Cat loses his favourite needle in a bale of hay and has to try and find it.

    Classic Quotes:
    Lister: Cat, you’re looking for a needle in a haystack.

    Lister: Where is me curry?

    Rimmer: I really like Kryten’s new hat.

    Lister: Smeg head.

    #204250
    Ben Kirkham
    Participant

    Lister eats a big curry and a can of lager and burps lolol

    #204259
    Connell
    Participant

    A mysterious vessel known only as ‘CUNTG&T’, inhabited by some of the most unruly and ugly beings in the universe, is spotted dropping large amounts of shit and live trolls onto the less successful vessel, ‘GAZSOUP-7’. Hilarity ensues.

    Can the boys from the Dwarf save the day?

    #204261
    Ben Kirkham
    Participant

    “A mysterious vessel known only as ‘CUNTG&T’, inhabited by some of the most unruly and ugly beings in the universe, is spotted dropping large amounts of shit and live trolls onto the less successful vessel, ‘GAZSOUP-7′. Hilarity ensues.

    Can the boys from the Dwarf save the day?”

    I want to watch this one, please.

    #204262
    JamesTC
    Participant

    Our podcast was getting more downloads than the Dwarfcast at one point.

    I’ll show you who drops shit on who.

    #204289
    takerdemon
    Participant

    Cat appears on Rolf Harris’ Animal Hospital TV show

    #204298
    CackThosePants
    Participant

    > Red Dwarf XXX

    What? Wait 20 series for that to happen. Fuck that.

    #204308
    Bexley Heath
    Participant

    I have already done that, Doug. It doesn’t go well because the audience needs French windows. There is now no need for you to write this plot.

    I award HelloMabel one internet.

    #204363
    anniescribe
    Participant

    As the climactic scene in Episode 6, a simulant demands that the crew explain what “smeg” means. And none of them can get out of it by crawling out of the drive room.

    #204367
    Connell
    Participant

    David Brent arrives of the Dwarf. Rimmer and Brent hit it off and decide to try and take over control of the ship, and later the galaxy. Hilarity ensues.

    #204371
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    Brilliant, Connell. Not only could I picture those two becoming friends, but your scenario also reminded me of this:

    Red Dwarf X – Episode 4 – Set Report

    #204401
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Was Jonsmad thinking of The Office when watching Entangled? I didn’t get that.

    #204402
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    Just that Connell’s crossover story reminded me of that crossover tangent we did, inspired by Jonsmad’s comment. That was fun.

    Actually, did Jonsmad ever say what he was referring to?

    #204464
    peas_and_corn
    Participant

    Lister and the rest get arrested after watching a droid being mugged by a simulant and doing nothing to help

    #204465
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Lister and the group spend thirty minutes waiting at Taiwan Tony’s for their order to come in.

    #204467
    NoFro
    Participant

    > Lister and the group spend thirty minutes waiting at Taiwan Tony’s for their order to come in.

    Racist.

    #204469
    si
    Participant

    Kryten gets turned into a human (again), travels back in time (again), and decides to write a book about the future to make some money.

    ;)

    #204470
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    No, that’s Robert Llewellyn. He’s an actor.

    #204471
    anniescribe
    Participant

    And then is sent back to the future (HA I WORKED IT IN THERE) because no big change stays permanent on the Dwarf, after all.

    “Sirs! They’re still not using videocassette tapes again yet in 2012! And the global economy is in a massive tank because of all those lost discs, I’m certain!”

    #204479
    srmcd1
    Participant

    How about a sequel to Back to Earth where the Dwarfers and the actors who play them switch universes. Rimmer is suddenly doing documentaries about massive tools, Lister has to learn how to be somebody else all day, Cat finds himself in a police uniform, and Kryten becomes the host of Carpool.

    Meanwhile, Craig, Chris, Danny and Robert are having to figure how all this crap works that they’ve been pretending to use for so many years.

    #204482
    anniescribe
    Participant

    Come to think of it, this probably gets written eventually in every fandom, but there were a couple of great old (and by old, I mean 20 years ago or so) fanfics in Trek where this very thing happened to the main few leads in both TOS and TNG. As I recall, the only switch that really didn’t make that much difference in their lives was Commander Riker/Jonathan Frakes. :-D

    (Also, I’d lay money Chris would be the first to figure out the controls and doohickeys on the Dwarf. Which would be far more hilarious if only a couple of the actors were switched around and half the crew were left wondering how the hell Rimmer got competent all of a sudden.)

    #204483
    Ben Kirkham
    Participant

    Series XI, Episode 1 – Lister discovers that the Cat has finally lost his virginity – to Kochanski!

    Mayhem ensues.

    #204489
    anniescribe
    Participant

    Not to mention a deal of medical reconstruction and mental therapy for Kochanski, if “Backwards” is to be believed …

    #204490
    JamesTC
    Participant

    Series XI, Episode 2 – The aftermath of Kochanski’s vagina being torn open. Meanwhile, Kryten attempts to create a new flavour of milkshake.

    #204491
    Alex
    Participant

    Series XI, Episode 2 – The aftermath of Kochanski’s vagina being torn open.

    Ah, they’ve got Rob Grant back on writing duties again then.

    #204494
    Ben Kirkham
    Participant

    Series XI, Episode 3 – Kochanski has kittens.

    #204496
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Episode 4: Some stuff happens. Then some other stuff happens unrelated to that. Then some other stuff happens. Then there’s a mention of Kochanski. Then some other stuff happens. Then it stops.

    #204498
    anniescribe
    Participant

    HIRE US, DOUG, QUICK, BEFORE NEW LINE SNATCHES US UP.

    #204512
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Cat meets Cat Woman, the hot one,from Bat man. Result Kittens!

    #204514
    Katydid
    Participant

    Series XI, Episode 5 “YOU DIE NOW” – Kochanski and her kittens are sealed into the cargo decks. Meanwhile, Lister goes into stasis to pass the time while on hold for a Veg-o-Matic, and Rimmer is forced at gun-point by Taiwan Tony to loosen the drive plate and set off a radiation leak, which destroys them all and mutates Cat into a polymorph.

    Series XI, Episode 6 “The Rebeginning” – Lister emerges from stasis to discover he and Kochanski are the only surviving members of the crew. Unfortunately, the Cat polymorph is still at large. Can a trip to Tijuana and a song-and-dance polymorphectomy by Krytens’s Mexican cousin save the day?

    #204517
    peas_and_corn
    Participant

    I’m not sure if you’re taking this seriously, Smegerama.

    #204534
    Stephen R. Fletcher
    Participant

    Is it wrong that part of me wants to see a DVD extra of some of this stuff? A fucked up episode of Dwarf, if you will. Kinda like what they did on the My Name Is Earl Season One DVD with an alternate take on the pilot.

    #204536
    CackThosePants
    Participant

    > Lister and the group spend thirty minutes waiting at Taiwan Tony’s for their order to come in.

    YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES…….and I’m spent!

    #204554
    Connell
    Participant

    A foaming twat is loose on board. It’s up to the Dwarfers to hunt it down.

    #204557
    CackThosePants
    Participant

    > A foaming ropey old twat sandwich is loose on board. It’s up to the Dwarfers to cunt it down.

    I’m going to regret that in the morning. CHEEEERS!

    #204559
    Katydid
    Participant

    > A foaming twat is loose on board. It’s up to the Dwarfers to hunt it down.

    “Curiosity Killed the Twat”

    #204563
    Almighty_crj
    Participant

    “Waiting for Cod”
    Rimmer’s attempt at a traditional Friday night fish & chip supper goes awry when Lister insists on fishing barefoot in the ship’s fish tank and the Cat does diving for live food.

    #204564
    Ridley
    Participant

    Uh oh, better watch out Kristine! It’s the wrong time of the month and you’ve returned just when Cat is in heat for some reason! Join the crew of Red Dwarf for another classic half hour of wacky shenanigans in this hilarious homage to The Most Dangerous Game as our favourite navigation officer is pursued through the city-sized ship. Is he gonna get you little Krissie?

    *See the two who know their way around Red Dwarf best face off!
    *Laugh as Kryten hijacks all the best hiding spots to tell the contestant that she’s been Krytered!
    *Hear Rimmer call the action on the ship’s speaker system!
    *Enjoy Lister saying that this is just typical of her in a variery of silly voices!

    “Finally, a Cat episode!”

    #204565
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    “Waiting for Cod”
    That’s good I’m going to steal that!
    Fuck you Ridex! You back stabbing cunt!

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