Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum PLOTS FOR SERIES 11

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  • #208782
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    Now that we’ve hit 200 I’m going to print this out and give it to Doug. So get your last few suggestions in quickly, folks!

    #208783
    si
    Participant

    Lister and Rimmer desperately try to avoid the Zero-Gee Football results.

    #208784
    si
    Participant

    Rimmer goes mad and starts hitting Starbug with a branch.

    #208786
    Ridley
    Participant

    Flashback episode: Grateful to Lister for his moving farewell, Rimmer’s first act as Ace is to jump to an earlier period in Lister’s lifetime and rid Liverpool of its ethnic Chinese population. After toppling the arch, Ace decides he’s a bit bored with being a hero and goes back to Red Dwarf. Meanwhile, Lister uncovers evidence that he’s actually from Manchester, specifically his memory of leaving himself at the Rovers Return 2099 with a smudged post-it note instruction to “leave at pool”.

    #208787
    si
    Participant

    Rimmer and Lister are “on a break”.

    #208788
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Due to some weird space thing, all the good ideas in the universe are suddenly used up and, with no more adventures to take part in, the dwarfers wither away and die.

    (This’ll be a multi-series arc)

    #208789
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    At least 1 Cat episode! I’m tired of Kyten hogging all the shows!

    #208790
    Ridley
    Participant

    Chris Barrie is replaced with a silent, life-size cardboard cutout of Rimmer for an episode. Neither the script nor the cast acknowledges the change in any way.

    #208791
    Ridley
    Participant

    Epideme II: Syphilis

    #208792
    Phil
    Participant

    Birdman is back…and he’s getting married! Lister, Rimmer, Kryten and Cat all fall over themselves (and each other!) in the hopes of becoming his best man. In the end he tells them that they’re all great men…and therefore none of them can truly be the best. He then rides Pete into the sunset.

    In a fun B-plot, Lister finds a stranded human being in need of aid. His actions directly result in her gruesome death and he doesn’t give a shit.

    #208793
    si
    Participant

    The Dwarfers’ friend Ace turns up, and takes Lister, Rimmer, Cat, Kryten and Kochanski out clubbing.

    #208794
    Ridley
    Participant

    In a fun B-plot, Lister finds a stranded human being in need of aid.

    “You make Birdman?”
    “No… Birdwoman.”

    Bird Science!
    Birdfantasy and microchips

    Starring Michael Birdmanasseri and Birdvanessa Birdangel

    #208795
    si
    Participant

    1) Lister goes to donate blood, hilarity ensues.

    “A pint? That’s nearly a smeggin’ armful!”

    2) Rimmer goes to donate blood, hilarity ensues.

    “A pint? That’s very nearly a smegging armful, miladdio!”

    #208797
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Everyone gets gay.

    #208798
    JamesTC
    Participant

    Roboship:

    Kryten joins a crew full of androids but eventually leaves because something happens.

    Meanwhile, Lister auditions for Kryten’s replacement. Taiwan Tony is chosen over Talkie Toaster and that vending machine from ‘Only the Good…’.

    #208800
    peas_and_corn
    Participant

    But he knows so much about Rimmer, like his taste for chocolate.

    #209341
    Ridley
    Participant

    Pete: Part 2 – Tabby Ranks Mix

    #209342
    Hesperus
    Participant

    I’d like to see an episode where they find an old store of musical instruments on board.

    I can imagine Rimmer trying to play the trumpet (badly) and winding up Lister with it. Of course, that would then need to have some greater significance in saving the/helping them with something else that happens later… not sure what though.

    I’d also like it to be just the 4 Dwarfers staying on the ship, or at most raiding an empty moon/derelict etc.

    #209343
    Phil
    Participant

    Blue Midget forgets how to dance. The Dwarfers each take turns trying to teach it.

    This is a five part episode.

    #209344
    Ridley
    Participant

    Whenever the crew asks Rimmer a question, he whispers “Magic!” then – with accompanying twinkly sound effect – throws glitter in their eyes.

    #209345
    Ridley
    Participant

    “Rimmer, am havin’ a heart attack!”
    “Are you?”
    “Look at me arm, man!”
    “Oh yeah.”

    #209407
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Kill off a character! The Simpsons are killing off a character this year! Bobbyllew is a good choice! Put him out of his misery of that mask!

    #209408
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Kill off a character! The Simpsons are killing off a character this year! Bobbyllew is a good choice! Put him out of his misery of the mask! Vogons intercepted this post the first time I put it up.

    #209412
    Ridley
    Participant

    Whenever Lister tries to visit Kochanski’s quarters, John Barrowman’s head suddenly appears and sings at him, causing the last man alive to fall into a nearby space hedgerow.

    #209413
    si
    Participant

    John Barrowman’s head suddenly appears and sings at him, causing the last man alive to fall into a nearby space hedgerow.

    Death by jazz hands.

    #209414
    Phil
    Participant

    Red Christmas: Xtended

    #209415
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Even better: Show Red Christmas to an audience, record the reaction, and add it to the episode. “Red Christmas, now with embarrassed coughing!”

    #209416
    performingmonkey
    Participant

    The boys hit the edge of the universe, which turns out to be nothing more than a giant black cloth covered with thousands of LED bulbs (4.5W GU10s, cool white).

    #209417
    ori-STUDFARM
    Participant

    Kryten discovers he has another brother called Kane who is residing on a remote and seemingly deserted colony. At first things seem to be going swimmingly until Lister discovers the evil plot that Kane has been hatching. Kane has been working with a giant intelligent snowflake entity that feeds off organic lifeforms. He has already given the lives of the colonists to the entity and now plans to feed it the crew. Lister tries to warn the others but nobody believes him because he is stupid and now no longer even knows what an iguana is… again.

    #209486
    steven87gill
    Participant

    The only thing I ask for series 11 is that the production people don’t cake Chris Barrie with make up and slap (what look like) hair extensions on him.

    I mean, look here.

    http://www.ganymede.tv/wp-content/uploads/sfx-seriesx-rehearsals-350×422.jpg

    Look how much more he actually looks like Rimmer in that photo, when they’re not trying to force it with OTT make up and weird flat looking, overly gelled/extension-ised hair.

    Okay, so his hairline has receded a bit, but so what? Here, he naturally oozes *Rimmer-ness*

    (is that a word?)

    #209487
    Ridley
    Participant

    I don’t want them to cake Robert Llewellyn in make-up or slap hair extensions on Craig Charles and Danny John-Jules.

    #209488
    peas_and_corn
    Participant

    Put makeup on Robert? It gets worse than that, Ridley. I’ve heard that there’s talk of putting a weird mask on his head.

    #209490
    anniescribe
    Participant

    I thought he looked a lot like Sam Rockwell in that one, actually.

    #209715
    Ridley
    Participant

    It’s an awkward Valentine’s Day for Lister when he opens the card and his secret admirer’s handwriting is a match for his mother’s. Again.

    #211471
    Ridley
    Participant

    Roboship:

    Kryten joins a crew full of androids but eventually leaves because something happens.

    So close.

    —-

    [Citation Needed]

    The absence of Holly begins to seriously affect the running of the ship. The crew decides to make Red Dwarf free access so that anyone can program. With hilarious consequences.

    #211474
    Katydid
    Participant

    Red Dwarf is blown up by Social Justice Simulants over Taiwan Tony’s voice.

    #211476
    Phil
    Participant

    They all become Kryten.

    And by that I mean everyone chases Archie around the ship for 30 minutes.

    #211477
    JamesTC
    Participant

    The gang find a phone app that turns them all into Dwayne Dibbley. There are hilarious consequences.

    #211478
    Ridley
    Participant

    They all become Michael Crichton to reuse the dinosaur and gorilla assets from series VIII.

    Amy no like Peter no like Amy Amy sad sad.

    #211479
    Phil
    Participant

    They all become the Medi-Bot.

    #211483
    Nick R
    Participant

    MEH-DI-BOT

    #211486
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Continuing the theme of cast dictating the plots by wishing to try on alternate make-up, Lister, Cat and Kryten all die. 25 minutes of H-based hilarity ensure.

    #211487
    si
    Participant

    Kryten gets dreadlocks.

    #211488
    evarofzentral
    Participant

    They all become computers, have a sex change between XI and XII and then get written out of the show.

    #211489
    Ridley
    Participant

    The Dwarfers go on a live tour but Lister is replaced by his doppelgänger from Cyberia played by Craig Bierko.

    Guest starring Peter Kay as Ricky Gervais.

    #211492
    Brayds2006
    Participant

    They all become Holly, all at once. Hi-jinx ensue, until they all leave the ship when their legitimacy is questioned.

    #211493
    Phil
    Participant

    They all become PecosPete666.

    #211494
    Ben Kirkham
    Participant

    Now we know there’ll also be a Red Dwarf XII, is it possible XI will end with a great big cliffhanger?

    #211495
    Ridley
    Participant

    They all become Celebrities Disfigured.

    #211496
    si
    Participant

    They return to Coronation Street, only to find that Craig Charles has left.
    Simon Gregson finds it difficult adjusting to life in deep space.

    #211500
    performingmonkey
    Participant

    Rimmer is about to ‘die’, and the only way of saving him is for Lister, Cat and Kryten to be miniaturised and injected, by a skutter, into his light bee. A sort of sequel to Terrorform, though not copying it, obviously……

    #211501
    Phil
    Participant

    They all become bone marrow donors.

    #211502
    Ridley
    Participant

    They all become man to man with Birdman.

    The Birdman Centipede

    #211511
    Brayds2006
    Participant

    They all make blueberry muffins, like Martha used to make.

    #211535
    si
    Participant

    Here’s a thought. Bring back Norm *and* Hattie as Holly. We know Holly’s been out of action, so now he/she can be back, but with the odd glitch – a ”fzzzt ” mid-sentence where they change, and back. I think that’d be funny, even if it’s just for one ep.

    #211536
    Ridley
    Participant

    P2P already thought that and put it in a (Red Dwarf IX?) trailer.

    #211542
    si
    Participant

    Oh. Didn’t know that. Oh well. It’s a good idea. Great minds, and all that.

    #211546
    Ridley
    Participant
    #212000
    By Jove its holmes
    Participant

    Rimmer – who treats women like garbage – wakes up to find out that the others have adjusted his hologrammatic settings so he looks just like this, clothes, accessories and all:
     photo 10648747_1477970135803170_8169610126313989634_o 14_zpsxon6gcq8.jpg

    #212176
    Pongo
    Participant

    Rimmer mentions he had a secret dog on Red Dwarf before the accident. They open up some vents and find a race of humanoid dogs. The Cat gets tired of not being the only evolved pet and swaps bodies with Kryten. Then, a knock on the airlock: Kochanski is back – and she’s on her period.

    #212177
    si
    Participant

    Camille returns, and Taiwan Tony falls in love with her, thinking that she is a female racially stereotypical vending machine called Ah-so Suzi.

    #212180
    John Hoare
    Participant

    Camille returns, and Taiwan Tony falls in love with her, thinking that she is a female racially stereotypical vending machine called Ah-so Suzi.

    That’s the arc plot stretching across XI and XII.

    #212181
    Phil
    Participant

    The crew encounters a rapping vending machine called Taiwan Tone-Def.

    #212182
    Pongo
    Participant

    Holly reveals he actually put Lister in stasis to keep Rimmer sane. This episode is also a musical.

    #212183
    si
    Participant

    Frankenstein awakes from a horrible dream whilst on Titan, and decides to stay away from that big black Tom.

    #212191
    Brayds2006
    Participant

    Rimmer’s body is crushed by a Mexican vending machine (named El Taco Loco Chico) and his head is sewn onto Lister’s shoulder. No mention is made of how this is possible.

    #212192
    Ridley
    Participant

    Rimmer discovers that he’s an extraterrestrial and a big fuss is made about him being an alien for thirty minutes before he remembers that he’s from Io. Episode ends with Lister winking at the cameria but it’s, like, a lizard eye or something.

    #212194
    peas_and_corn
    Participant

    The crew lose Starbug and spend the whole of series XI looking or it. The arc ends when Rimmer asks “why are we looking? we have dozens of them”.

    #212198
    guvnor
    Member

    Since nobody from Red Dwarf has reported for duty or submitted any paperwork in over 3 million years, a “policies and procedures” drone is dispatched to ensure that all Jupiter Mining Corp employees abide by the rules and regulations of the Space Corp Directives handbook. In a hilarious B plot, regulations state that Cat must be neutered.

    #212209
    Ridley
    Participant

    The musical episode has different songs depending on the individual viewer.

    #212210
    JamesTC
    Participant

    Rimmer realises he really likes curry. Lister gets annoyed as it is one of his two character traits. The episode ends with Archie landing in Rimmer’s curry and he declares that he is so disgusted that he’ll never eat another curry again. The hilarious coda is Cat walking in and declaring he really likes larger.

    #212211
    si
    Participant

    Larger what?

    #212212
    JamesTC
    Participant

    Larger spelling mistakes.

    #212219
    Paul Muller
    Participant

    Kill Crazy’s back, and he’s crazier than ever!

    After drifting in space for 16 years in a cramped Canary shuttle, he’s suffering from severe muscle wastage and bone loss, malnutrition and advanced thyroid cancer caused by solar radiation, alongside acute post traumatic stress disorder after being forced to feed on his dead crewmates to avoid starvation.

    Hilarious hijinks ensue!

    #212220
    Ridley
    Participant

    Cat opens a real estate company called Realty Sucks on an anicent Indian burial ground haunted by Roman soldiers.

    #212493
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Rimmer, Lister and Cat all become robots because why the fuck not? Then they all go to the circus.

    #212495
    Ridley
    Participant

    Even though he’s wearing a cape out of season, the Dwarfers don’t realise that Cat has become a vampire until he starts trying to suck Rimmer.

    #212498

    The boys from the Dwarf stumble upon the near derelict base made out of the escape pods, shuttles and salvaged vessels that the regenerated crew and prisoners were forced to flee in for their lives and make their home for eternity.

    Mutiny, starvation, catastrophic engineering failures and sheer corruption have dwindled the population of tens of thousands down to only one man, Kill Crazy, who is seen chomping on Captain Hollister’s left buttock in a psychotic frenzy for survival.

    Rimmer promptly kicks him in the bollocks, eliciting pained laughter from Lister and they all go on their merry way again with nary a thought to the thousands they left to die in deep space while their city-sized mining vessel could comfortably hold numbers many times that.

    In the distance, an ice-cold, humanoid figure hurtles towards the surface. It’s Irene Edgington. The frozen, dead projectile smashes through the last of the frail shuttles and whacks Kill Crazy once more in the bollocks before his life is slowly taken away in the vacuum of space, all while having bruised and very tender testicles.

    Lister and Rimmer share a chuckle about how they could’ve easily saved Irene’s life as humans can easily survive for a few minutes in space without any major effects to their health.

    The theme tune plays, but there is a strange, almost unnoticed change to the words…

    Let me die, far away from here…

    Fun, fun, fun…

    #212503
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Ainsley Harriott arrives and the crew have a cooking competition. Because that’s what this series needs. You twat.

    #212512
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Lister gets his cock out and we all have a look.

    #212514

    Doug Naylor receives a new leg which is hilariously racist.

    #212516
    Brayds2006
    Participant

    The Dwarfers meet the Go Compare guy. He sings for 19 minutes straight. At the end of the episode he trips over a box filled with forms and is flushed into space. Ironically, he wasn’t insured.

    #212536

    Taiwan Tony and Kryten do a mind swap.

    #212540

    Ruby Wax and Ed Bye guest star as two rutting Pleasure GELFs in their natural form to a nauseous but curious audience.

    The audience wants to look away, but they can’t.

    #212564
    By Jove its holmes
    Participant

    Clayton Marks comes back as Elvis and sings “In the Ghetto” to a sobbing Lister.

    #212565

    In a sequel to Lemons, the crew meet God, but it turns out to just be another bloke who happens to be called “God”.

    #212566
    si
    Participant

    In a sequel to both Lemons and Backwards, the crew meet a dog.

    #212567
    si
    Participant

    Who, in a bizarre twist, just happens to have created the world.

    #212568
    Ridley
    Participant

    Limes: a sequel to Lemons where the crew is sent back in time to a 19th century ship – the Scarlet Lilliputian – in a flat pack bookcase.

    #212569
    By Jove its holmes
    Participant

    The Low Rimmer from Demons and Angela comes back and everyone admits he’s just a rip off of Tim Curry’s character from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

    #212570

    Alexei Sayle makes a guest appearance as the creator of Better Than Life.

    #212571
    Phil
    Participant

    ALF dreams he is a famous stand-up comic. David Spade guests stars in this episode.

    #212572
    Ridley
    Participant

    Richard Armitage guest stars as The Great Red Dwarf.

    #212573
    JamesTC
    Participant

    Lister falls in love with Spare Hand 1.

    #212575

    In a sequel to Entangled, nobody knows what the fuck’s going on.

    #212579
    Phil
    Participant

    Is anyone else worried the Doug isn’t reading these?

    #212580
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    An episode called “that fan that won a part on twitter” where the bloke who blacked up as Dwayne Dibbley at Dimension jump gets beamed aboard the ship via a UKTV competition. And hilarity ensues. With the catchphrase. What a dodgy dibbley!

    #212581
    By Jove its holmes
    Participant

    some fan actually did <i>blackface</i>?! What’s next, a racist “Herrow Mistah!” vending machi – oh, wait…

    #212582
    Brayds2006
    Participant

    Rimmer believes he has rediscovered the Luck virus, but it turns out to just be dishwashing liquid. He makes a face.

    #212583
    Bowen
    Participant

    The blacked up Dwayne Dibbley. I remember him. What a …..

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