PLOTS FOR SERIES 11

[srmcd1]

At one point, we find out that Rimmer *didn’t* cause the accident. Holly simply planted the memory in his head so he’d feel guilty enough to stay on as the ship’s hologram.

[Ben Paddon]

A whole series made up of retellings of classic Red Dwarf adventures in the style of the The Rimmer Experience from “Blue”.

[Connell]

“A whole series made up of retellings of classic Red Dwarf adventures in the style of the The Rimmer Experience from “Blue”.”

But why would they do X again?

[CackThosePants]

> I’m going to regret that in the morning. CHEEEERS!

Correct.

Anyway Iove an episode where Kryten has to wear that old northern head from DNA. Moaning and attacking everyone left and right.

Rimmer : Kryten have you completed when I requested?

Kryten : I don’t need no bloody idiot talking me like that. If you want to walk up the hill to buy some bread – you do it yourself you lazy bugger!

[Reece]

But why would they do X again?

[CackThosePants]

^ LOL

Craig’s wig must be made of liquorice. A weave of Bertie Bassett’s pubic hairs.

[anniescribe]

A whole series made up of retellings of classic Red Dwarf adventures in the style of the dream sequence from “Blue.”

[Reece]

A whole series made up of retellings of classic Red Dwarf adventures in the style of the dream sequence from “Blue.”

“Rimmer! You’re a hologram?!”

“Yes. That’s because I’m dead. Dead as a can of spam. And it’s all thanks to you.”

“Oh Rimsy…”

“Oh Listy…”

[Stephen R. Fletcher]

In the Series XI finale, Kryten gets the rejuvenation shower working. However, a giant cock up happens which results in Lister, Rimmer, Cat and Kochanski turning into toddlers and the effects are irreversible. This leads to a spin off entitled “Red Dwarf Babies” – where Kryten becomes the kids’ headless nanny after they destroyed all his spare heads and for some reason, Rimmer now has a tomboyish twin sister who bullies him endlessly.

[anniescribe]

As a fan of the long-forgotten Muppet Babies cartoon, I both salute Stephen and point out Kryten doesn’t NEED a head (we never saw Nanny’s).

[si]

I have a Muppet Babies LP. Just thought I’d mention it.

[Connell]

In the series finale, I want to see Warwick Davis painted red and chased round the ship, it would finally answer that age old question of what the fuck ‘Red Dwarf’ actually means.

[Stephen R. Fletcher]

As a fan of the long-forgotten Muppet Babies cartoon, I both salute Stephen…

I think as long as we have youtube, Muppet Babies won’t be (or stay) long-forgotten :o) *salutes back*

and point out Kryten doesn’t NEED a head (we never saw Nanny’s).

I know. I just thought it would be a…. well…umm… I don’t want to say funny idea… if there be a reason like that behind the now Headless Nanny Kryten.

I have a Muppet Babies LP. Just thought I’d mention it.

SHOW-OFF! What’s it called and what songs are on it? I don’t think I’ve seen a Muppet Babies LPs on Muppet Wiki before.

[Danny Stephenson]

I was talking about Muppet Babies last night, and it occurred how expensive that show potentially was to produce. I believe it was Lucasfilm who made it so the clips from either 20th Century Fox or Lucasfilm-owned that were used were either licensed or fair game given they were created by the same production company.

But still, it was awesome. I still want it on DVD.

[Stephen R. Fletcher]

Same here! Same goes for Season 4 & 5 of The Muppet Show and Muppets Tonight. Of the bunch, I’d say we’re more likely to get TMS 4 & 5, but even they should’ve been released years ago. Hopefully, the success of the latest film will speed that up and maybe even increase the chances of getting Muppet Babies and Muppets Tonight on DVD.

[A Bailey]

Returning to our Dimension to catch up with Lister for a curry, Ace Rimmer is captured by Gelfs and the Dwarfers must rescue him. Hijinks ensue when Series X Rimmer must pretend to be Ace to carry off the ruse. Close to making a successful escape Lister is confronted by his Gelf wife but manages to comfort her through a rousing ten minute speech on the nature of humanity. Ace Rimmer blasts off back into the unknown, except was it him or the other Rimmer? In celebration of their success they all dig into a pile of kippers. Lister pours ketchup on his.

Meanwhile onboard Red Dwarf, Kryten struggles to make the perfect souffle.

It has never occurred to me before this moment just how many episodes feature multiple Rimmers.

[CackThosePants]

Tiny Toones > Muppet Babies

I heard the new Muppets film is good, it’s on Sky Movies this Christmas, so will check it out.

Good old Father Murdoch :D

[Danny Stephenson]

Tiny Toons and Animaniacs were fucking amazing work. In terms of educational value they were absolutely fantastic. Muppet Babies is one of those things that will always make me feel insanely nostalgic, like Trap Door.

I do have heard good things about ‘The Muppets’, any film that can get Dave Grohl as a cameo gets my vote.

[Connell]

Fuck, I remember watching Trap Door on a mangey VHS I got from a car boot sale when I was about 8 or 9, I took it home thinking it was a Sooty video and was greeted to that, more than made up for it!

[si]

The Muppet Babies LP is called ‘Rocket to the Stars’. Here it is with my ‘collection’ of Muppet Show LPs:

Tracklisting:
Side One:
The Muppet Babies Theme
Merry Go Round
Keep Rockin’
Dream For Your Inspiration
Good Things Happen In The Dark
Side Two:
Camilla
Rocket To The Stars
Practice Makes Perfect
It’s Up To You
I Can’t Help Being A Star
The Muppet Babies Theme (Reprise)

Somewhat unbelievably, that album dates from 1985. No, I haven’t listened to it recently. Yes, my living room rug does want a run over with the hoover.

[Pete Part Three]

>I do have heard good things about ‘The Muppets’, any film that can get Dave Grohl as a cameo gets my vote.

I liked it but I found the second half a little weak. There are rather a lot of meta-jokes and I found these a little wearing after a while as it seemed to be where 95% of the comedy was derived from.

Muppet Christmas Carol still top of the heap.

[Phil]

>The Great Muppet Caper still top of the heap.

FIXED WHAT YOU SAID BY CHANGING IT TO SOMETHING THAT I AGREE WITH

[anniescribe]

Glad to see so much Muppet Babies love all over this thread. I was pretty well in junior high or high school when that was on, I believe, but I had a little sister who liked watching, and it was fun for me, as well. That show had a good deal of adult humor that flew over the heads of the little ones. :-)

On another note, I’ll just say this is one of the very few websites featuring the phrase “multiple Rimmers” that I’m allowed to pull up here at work.

[Stephen R. Fletcher]

Tiny Toons and Animaniacs were fucking amazing work.

SO AGREE WITH YOU! I’ve been rewatching Animaniacs this year (along with Pinky and the Brain). I haven’t rewatched Tiny Toons yet, but plan to. I WANT THEM ALL ON DVD DAMMIT!

I liked it but I found the second half a little weak. There are rather a lot of meta-jokes and I found these a little wearing after a while as it seemed to be where 95% of the comedy was derived from.

I loved it, but I can understand what you’re saying, Pete. I can also understand some of the criticisms Frank Oz has come out with aswell, but for me personally, I was just so happy to have Scooter and Rowlf back with the main gang where they belong and not have Pepe taking up a lot of screen time. I hope they keep it that way for the next film. I don’t so much mind Pepe getting more to do, but if Scooter and Rowlf get pushed away into the back again, I won’t be happy. They deserve better than that IMO.

Si, I love that pic! Though I wish I had that LP, I was lucky enough to get some downloads of The Muppet Show albums (and some other old Muppet Soundtracks, too) to put on my iPod.

[Stephen R. Fletcher]

Glad to see so much Muppet Babies love all over this thread. I was pretty well in junior high or high school when that was on, I believe, but I had a little sister who liked watching, and it was fun for me, as well. That show had a good deal of adult humor that flew over the heads of the little ones. :-)

When I was a kid, Muppet Babies was really the only Muppet thing I watched. I loved it. I also did watch The Muppets Take Manhattan and I actually thought for a while that Muppet Babies came first and that film, and all the other stuff were made afterwards. So it was really baffling to me when Skeeter just disappeared and seemed to be forgotten about.

And when I first saw Muppets Tonight, The Muppet Christmas Carol and Treasure Island, it really confused and upset me that Scooter seemed to disappear and Rowlf would get a cameo or two. Of course, not knowing anything about the Muppet Performers and the behind the scenes reason for that happening.

[Ben Kirkham]

“Tiny Toons and Animaniacs were fucking amazing work.”

Fuck Yes! I used to have the Tiny Toons game for the Mega Drive, bloody loved it. And Animaniacs had the fabulous Pinky and the Brain.

[Pecospete666]

Fritz the cat is my childhood cartoon!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fritz_the_Cat_(film)

Before most of you were born!

[Pete Part Three]

Isn’t it your childhood now?

[Pecospete666]

I’m on my third!

“FaceOver” great free photo app

[Pecospete666]

Though I do not know” Ian” personal his Internet personally reminds me of “Fritz”

[Reece]

Wow.

[Blisschick]

Yeah.

[Ben Kirkham]

Er… um… that’s just… wrong.

[Ridley]

Lister builds a Cat flap into the hull of the ship. He immediately regrets it when another member of Felis sapiens arrives on board and starts pelting him with dead pigeons.

[Connell]

Half an hour of Rimmer’s slideshows

[clem]

The Mugs Murphy Show

[anniescribe]

“Half an hour of Rimmer’s slideshows” – Yeah, no. Only if Rimmer will narrate it. With his ass to the camera the entire time. 0:-)

[Blisschick]

:)

[Pecospete666]

Blisschick drinking that white lightning again?

[CackThosePants]

White lightning enema, because your worth it.

[Pecospete666]

Crack! does crack in your name mean you smoke it?
I ride the horse!

[CackThosePants]

Love to sniff your crack. I bet it smells like skittles because your one fruity slut.

* Sniffs……..”Aah, Pecos!”

[JamesTC]

Series XI Episode 1

Holly returns! And this time it is two for the price of one as we have the male Holly on Red Dwarf and the female Holly on Starbug. Hilarity ensues as Red Dwarf is blown up and they have to spend the rest of the series on Starbug.

[Reece]

Holly returns! And this time it is two for the price of one as we have the male Holly on Red Dwarf and the female Holly on Starbug. Hilarity ensues as Red Dwarf is blown up and they have to spend the rest of the series on Starbug.

~Fin

[CackThosePants]

> ~Fin

More like “sued” …..he stole my idea.

Though to be fair only the first part. I never said it could be funny or the blowing up bit. We’re split the profits.

[applemask]

David Ross and Robert Llewellyn fight to the death inside a barbed-wire thunderdome

[CackThosePants]

Applemask your evil idea is rotten to the core.

[JamesTC]

The gang find out they are just characters in a TV show called “Red Dwarf”. They have to stop the show being cancelled by fixing some frame dropping.

[JamesTC]

Vicar of Duane Dibbley

[Ben Paddon]

Red Dwarf is on a collision course with a star, and their only hope is a JMC data disc that’s supposed to be compatible with every current-model computer system in the fleet! However the files are stored in a format that the on-board JMC computer can’t open…!

(Yes, this is me being bitter about the 1080i50 Bluray.)

[Connell]

Dibbley or no Dibbley – The thrilling spinoff.

[genericnerdyusername]

I choose No Dibbley.

[Blisschick]

>Blisschick drinking that white lightning again?

Only because you’ve driven me to it.

[Ridley]

All the vending machines form a UN and put trade sanctions on the crew for upsetting the French and Chinese delegates.

[JamesTC]

Taiwan Tony takes over Red Dwarf and begins to transform the ship into a giant fortune cookie. Meanwhile Lister can’t get free of a Chinese finger trap.

[Jonsmad]

In reply, yes, I did mention twice in other threads I think, that the sitcom i refered to in the set report was Gerald in the midst, episode of “Nightinggales” which had a gorillia joining the cast, as a guest.

So In Red Dwarf XI I want cat to turn into a werewolf.

[peas_and_corn]

A businessman convinces Lister that Red Dwarf needs a monorail

[Ben Paddon]

Fed up of getting food from vending machines, the Dwarfers decide to head down to the ship’s forgotten nightlife district and eat at a Chinese restaurant on their way to the ship’s cinema, only to find the AI serving the front counter insists the place is full and they’ll have to wait for a table.

[Ridley]

Over the course of one evening, Lister finds himself on a losing streak to Rimmer when the Second Technician shows an uncanny talent for table tennis.

Determined to win, Lister demands a rematch. However, the ship’s autocorrect sends out the message that he “had never given a smeg about Ping Ping before tonight.” leading to an uncomfortable situation with Red Dwarf’s Chinatown AI.

[Phil]

A woman shows up and they all sit around masturbating.

[genericnerdyusername]

If they don’t have every version of Rimmer in the 50th Anniversary special then fuck Naylor and his giant ego for betraying the fans.

[Connell]

Pre-titles sequences, Lister is sat in the drive room, a foreign object appears on the scanner. Kryten informs Lister is appears to be a blue police box heading straight towards them. Lister immediately destroys it.

[Connell]

The creator informs the Dwarfers he is no longer interested in the type of audience they attract anymore.

[Seb Patrick]

I want an episode where it’s revealed to the cast that their entire lives are a TV show.

And that TV show is Michael Barrymore’s Strike it Lucky.

[Ridley]

Things backfire for Kryten when he tries an experimental robo-curry, threatening the local seabird population.

[Tarka Dal]

How about an episode where Kryten is human and everyone else blacks up?

[takerdemon]

Lister uses a jet ski to jump over a giant shark on an ocean planet

[HelloMabel]

The crew travel to a city called Birmingham in the year 2013. They land in a small hotel room with 17 people spouting bollocks and recording themselves. Kryten whips out his sci-scan and hilarity ensues.

[anniescribe]

… And then they realize it’s in Alabama and the 17 people are the entirety of a Safeway sales convention. :-P

[Connell]

The crew find Ackerman living in one of the cargo bays, having lost his eye centuries ago. It’s up the crew to hunt down Ackerman’s eye in time for his date with Taiwan Tracy! Graham McTavish guests.

[Pecospete666]

DWARFS! there’s no dwarfs in Red Dwarf! A episode featuring a dwarf or dwarfs would be appropriate. Should be Native American Dwarfs, then it would truly be Red Dwarf!

[Ben Paddon]

The crew find Kochanski when they discover that not only has she been using Twitter over the last couple of years, but she’d forgotten to turn location tracking off. Kochanski is once again recast, this time portrayed by Patricia Routledge.

[Phil]

The crew journey to America in the year 2016, where they find Pecos Pete and Ben Paddon living together for financial reasons. The episode serves as a backdoor pilot for “Pecos ‘n’ Paddon: Murder Detectives” and as such finds them working together to solve the mystery of who killed Archie. In the B-plot Lister has graphic intercourse with Ben’s refrigerator.

[Ridley]

Dispenser 34 reveals that she is pregnant with Lister’s child but the fruit of their loins gets caught in the mechanism. Guest appearance by Gynae-Bot.

[Pete Part Three]

Lister discovers that the human race isn’t extinct after all. They were all just hiding.

[Jonsmad]

An Episode set entirely in the woods, made up of White Hole like time dilation loop problems faithfully re-created using the drop frames of the red cameras.

[Yaron Ru]

I think that that guy that Craig Charles plays will be in it.

He might eat curry. Or mention it.

[JamesTC]

Kryten gets more RAM. Hilarious consequences.

[tanya]

They stop trying to advance the show and make it look like it did back in series 6! That’s not a plot though.. as for plot they kill off kochanski!! ^_^

[Ridley]

The Dwarfers discover the terrible truth that Red Dwarf is, in actuality, a miming ship.

[Connell]

The Dwarfers almost find another Stasis leak and have to avoid their past selves in footage taken from earlier series’, until they realize the budget won’t cover it. The stasis leak timely disappears and Lister fucks a Portuguese tin opener instead.

[anniescribe]

Hey, as each actor has at least one son; they could film flashbacks that way. Although it’d probably get weird when Lister is almost twice as tall and years older than Rimmer … but that can be explained away by timey-wimey. Or that Rimmer’s boothing has just been working really super well …

[Pete Part Three]

Kochanski celebrates her 32nd Birthday with a party, gets drunk and fucks The Cat. Meanwhile. Kryten discovers he has early onset-Droid rot and struggles to come to terms with the news. And Rimmer waits in all day for a postpod to be delivered – but it never turns up.

[clem]

Spare Hand One goes berserk and molests a coffee machine. Meanwhile Rimmer takes up topiary and Lister finally looks up ‘iguana’ in the dictionary.

[tanya]

heheh wow mine was serious guess that is not the name of the game ^_^

[peas_and_corn]

In a bizarre retooling, the Dwarfers are given morphers to have the powers to become the Dwarf Power Rangers. They fight GELFs and the ship becomes a humanoid robot somehow.

[anniescribe]

“Somehow.” And this, kids, is how sci-fi was born – “Somehow, there has to be something worse than a monster … I know, the asshole doctor who created him!”

(Don’t mind me, I’m just missing some sleep. Stupid epiphanies with dumb timing. I just want an episode with Cat race survivors …)

[si]

the Dwarfers are given morphers to have the powers to become the Dwarf Power Rangers

Mighty Dwarfin’ Power Rangers.

[Phil]

“the Dwarfers are given morphers”

I thought you were going to start rapping. :(

[Ridley]

Rimmer declares himself emperor and changes all of Red Dwarf’s systems so that the ship runs to the new Rimmerian calendar. On Arnday, the ship is pulled through a time hole. They don’t know when they are when they are approached by a species of GEL-Th who Generally Eat Lifeforms on Thursdays thus leading to a race against time maybe.

[Pete Part Three]

Kochanski dies.

[Pecospete666]

“Kochanski dies”. While filming a “Little People” Porn Movie! Directed by the Cat! Working title. “Little Pussy”

7 dwarfs comes to mind!

Somebody shoot me!

[Ben Paddon]

The Dwarfers find themselves locked in a duel across time and space.

[clem]

In a Bob Newhartesque twist it turns out that all of Red Dwarf was a dream had by Captain Butler.

[Jason aka Smeg4Brains]

Lister eats a curry and spills some but he doesn’t care because he’s Lister. Someone says smeg.

[evarofzentral]

Episode 1 – Hogey Part 1 – The Dwarfers face off against Hogey the Roguey in the promised cookery contest from Series X. Ainsley Harriott beams in to adjudicate only to be killed when he trips over a box and a bathtub of water falls on him. Antony Worrall Thompson replaces him, but steals the last bib from the denti-bot and havoc ensues.

Episode 2 – Hogey Part 2 – Hogey asks the crew about their past adventures, prompting Kryten and the Cat to tell Marooned from their perspective. However, they are interrupted constantly by Taiwan Tony (to the extent that we are only shown clips with them in from the original Marooned) and havoc ensues.

Episode 3 – Our robo Ross – Lister decides to change his name to Ross Lister but when the Dwarfers decide to return to the DNA ship Ross is turned into a robot and havoc ensues.

Episode 4 – Hogey Part 3.33 recurring – Captain Hollister and the rest of the non-original crew return to Red Dwarf only to find that Hogey doesn’t like them much and havoc ensues.

Episode 5 – Duct Loop – The tv channel Dave accidentally put Duct Soup on a constant loop for two days and havoc ensues.

Episode 6 – Nan-achey – In a flashback episode Ross remembers back to when his Nan had an ache in her foot and havoc ensues.

Episode 7 – 101 Kochanskis – Ross is delighted when Red Dwarf finally finds Kochanski on its scanners. However, when he, Hogey, and TT get down to the planet they soon realise they’ve got more than they bargained for. Kochanski has been cloned and the only way to find the real Kochanski is to search for the one that can stand on its hind legs like a little Rory Calhoun – havoc ensues.

Episode 8 – Rimsy TV – With Kochanski returning to the ship Rimmer sets up a pay-per-view tv service of Kochanski in the showers and havoc ensues.

Episode 9 – Last of the Summer Whine – Kryten makes the decision to stop whining about Kochanski only to go crashing down the cargo decks in a bathtub with Cat – havoc ensues.

Episode 10 – The Black Seal – Rimmer is demoted to Third Technician by King Tony and decides to assemble the seven most evil scutters on Red Dwarf in order to have his revenge. But when Rimmer’s old adversary the revolving toilet from Balance of Power comes back to haunt him havoc ensues.

Due to ten episodes being produced Series XI had to be shot exclusively in Shepperton woods to cut costs. However, this situation is not acknowledged in the series, with the characters just acting as if they are on Red Dwarf or wherever they happen to be. Nevertheless, fans will be pleased to note that perennially reliable games studio Gearbox has been hired to undertake the CGI required for the season, although they will be outsourcing some of the work to the makers of the acclaimed E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial on the Atari 2600.

[Moonlight]

Series XI opens with the reveal that Red Dwarf itself was actually projected by Rimmer’s light bee. Shortly after learning this, Taiwan Tony breaks up with Rimmer, who suffers a resentment attack causing the ship to vanish. Lister and the Cat, unable to breathe, swim to a nearby island. Then they are rescued by a passing GELF ship which takes them back to Hawaii.

In the following episode, Lister and the Cat meet a genie who grants them three wishes. The rest of the episode follows their adventures with the genie in Hawaii, which goes horribly wrong when the Cat repeatedly wishes for fish. All three wishes wasted, Lister is forced to turn the largest fish into a submarine. The rest of Series XI revolves around them driving the dead fish through the ocean, searching for Kryten while fighting off vicious head-hunters and Ernest Borgnine.

In the final episode, they find Kryten ship-wrecked on an island with Gilligan, who tags along back to Hawaii. In a shocking twist ending, they recover Rimmer’s light bee and power him back up along with Red Dwarf. The episode ends with Red Dwarf being commissioned as a cruise ship with Rimmer as captain, a set-up for the show to be retooled as the “Funtastic Arnold and Gilligan Hour” in Series XII.

[Phil]

For budgetary reasons series 11 features a bottle episode that doesn’t include any of the crew. Instead they are forced to abandon Red Dwarf (off-camera) due to an asteroid storm (off-camera) and only return at the end of the episode (off-camera).

The entirety of the half hour is given over to Taiwan Tony, the Medi-Bot and the Denti-Bot in the same room, talking about past loves and generally being really fucking annoying.

Hilarity ensues when they are joined by Kerry Shale’s newest embodiment of a lazy stereotype, Rapey the African.

[Paul Muller]

Ep.1: After a malfunction with a DNA modifier, the Dwarfers suddenly find themselves turned into women. The episode then centres around an extended joke about periods, until, whilst discussing their love of horses, men and the mystery of the offside rule, they accidentally manage to flush themselves out of an airlock like a bunch of idiots. Taiwan Tony offers the final punchline: “What a load of sluts”. Cut to credits.

[Ben Kirkham]

200.

[Author]

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