Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum “What do you want this time? A ham with your homework?”

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  • #11638
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    For the longest time – until about five years ago, actually – I thought this was Holly’s line in “Future Echoes”. When I realised what he was actually saying, I felt relieved that I’d never repeated the line myself, or written it out anywhere.

    I can’t be the only one who has, or had, some Red Dwarf Lady Mondegreens stored in their little grey cells. So g’wan – let’s hear ’em.

    #116982
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    You’d better b’lieve in add do.

    #116983
    MANI506
    Participant

    Colonel Sebastian Doyle – ‘I’m sayin” (answer him)

    #116984
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    In backwards. I thought the club owner was saying someflobadobblibblobbleeb.
    but turns out he says, “tog seh efil das roop a tahw”.

    Erm no I cant think of any serious ones. I struggle a bit with some of things “swallow” says in back to earth. Does he say “All legal” ? about the carbug? cus it sounds like hollyhole to me, but im in danger of sounding father ted like racist, at the lovely chinesse people here, so I should I probably have a go at some of craig’s scouse to even things out. So “what’s an iguana” sounds like a tennis player clearing his nose to me.

    #116970
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    Yeah, “All legal” is what I heard.

    I have to go back and remind myself because I have a lot more, probably including some really embarrassing ones. I watched for years on home-recorded VHS before buying the box set of DVDs and discovering how totally, utterly and completely wrongly I was hearing everything.

    I know there are also a few of them where I’m not sure who’s right – me or the subtitles.

    #116971
    Carlito
    Participant

    > Colonel Sebastian Doyle – ‘I’m sayin” (answer him)

    Second that.

    #116972
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    “Pink gudgeon down me sides you could float me over the Superbowl”

    I blame that one on being a ‘for the americans’ line.

    #116974
    Kris Carter
    Participant

    Danny – THANK YOU. Not just me.

    #116975
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    I had “pink gudgeon” in my head for years.

    #116966
    Al Marshall
    Participant

    “That’s Rice Puddin’- the most hated, loathed and despised man of his era”

    In my defence I was 5 in 1991 and more well versed in Ambrosia products than the scandals of the turn-of-the-century Russian monarchy.

    #116967
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    LOL I still can’t hear ‘Rasputin’ it’s always “rice puddin’ ” to me. Always.

    On an aside: We seem to be getting a lot of people popping out of the woodwork to comment these days.

    Welcome all those popping out the woodwork to comment these days!

    #116969
    Al Marshall
    Participant

    I’ve been reading the site since about 2003, which is mental. I have registered and then forgot my password etc many a time!

    9 years readership is a testament to the quality of the site- Cheers Team!

    Also:

    “Would it make any difference if it was… Holness?”

    #116965
    Plastic Percy
    Participant

    In Queeg, I always heard Deganwy as “on Ganymede” and thought it pretty far out that Lister and his school would go for a camping trip on one of the moons of Jupiter. To be fair, Deganwy is in North Wales and is just as inhospitable and lifeless as Ganymede.

    #116960
    ChrisM
    Participant
    #116961
    Phil
    Participant

    I once misheard “What’s an iguana?” as being a funny joke.

    #116962
    Jimboid
    Participant

    “This one’s my newt!”

    #116958
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    “Genitalia, smaller than inoffensive”
    “Switch me on, switch me off, like I’m some battery powered sexay”
    “GET OWT THA BEWLT WHALE YA KHAAAAAAN!”

    #116959
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I think we’ve done this before, but in the Smeg Ups I always wondered what a “parpussy” was. As in, “she’s a computer parpussy”.

    Oh, and for years, I thought it was “I gather we had no siren, you see.” I had no idea why they might have needed a siren for that particular scene.

    #116897
    si
    Participant

    > n the Smeg Ups I always wondered what a “parpussy” was. As in, “she’s a computer parpussy”

    I always thought that too…in fact, what *does* he say? I’m not sure I actually know. :/

    #116898
    MANI506
    Participant

    Computer powered pussy… I think.

    #116895
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    The line Chris fluffs is: “Lister, she’s a computer sprite, and surely that’s the point. She’s just a load of pixels”

    So my guess is Chris was about to say computer pixels. Stops himself and makes the fuckup hilarious. ‘p-ah-pussy’

    #116896
    si
    Participant

    Oh. Glad that’s sorted then.

    #116854
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    “Paint it in yellow and black stripes and pretend you play quarterback with the Bangles?”

    #116852
    ChrisM
    Participant

    Not Red Dwarf, but for years I thought they were singing ‘Cookie Street’ in the end theme tune of Only Fools and Horses. I used to wonder why a British sitcom full of working class English folk were using such an Americanism… (Mind you I always think of those biscuits with the chocolate chips as cookies.)

    #116853
    ori-STUDFARM
    Participant

    You mean they’re not!!

    #116848
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    They are. Cookies is cookies.

    Another non Red Dwarf one: Ra’s Uncle (Ra’s al Ghul)

    #116842
    Connell
    Participant

    The song Seven Nation Army came about because when Jack White was younger he thought that was the name of the Salvation Army.

    #116835
    si
    Participant

    In The Inquisitor, I always misheard Kryten’s line, “Virgil’s ‘Aeneid'” as “Virgil’s an idiot”. It wasn’t until I got the DVD and read the subtitles that I knew what the line actually was. In fact, I’ve just put it on now and had to check again. :/

    #116827
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I always misheard the line as being “Ah, Homer’s Iliad”.

    Well, I didn’t, but that’s what the line should have been, given the Iliad is the work which is ACTUALLY about Agamemnon and Helen of Troy, which the Aeneid isn’t.

    #116828
    si
    Participant

    Ooh, get Mr Intellectual, there.

    #116829
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    Yeah, Seb, why do you insist on knowing things and stuff?

    #116825

    My brother points that out every time we watch that episode. EVERY TIME.

    #116826
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    “If it’s not worth doing, give it to Rimmer. He hates the responsibility but constantly fails the engineering exam.”

    “It’s bone-crunching time, me old shiner.” I knew this was wrong but couldn’t work it out for the life of me.

    #116797
    George Kaplan
    Participant

    Lister to Red Dwarf, we have here Mr Complete Smegpot.

    I was only young.

    #116799
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    > Lister to Red Dwarf, we have here Mr Complete Smegpot.

    This is a better line than the real one!

    #116792
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    amazing how many of these seem to ring true for a lot of other people.

    Mr Complete Smegpot

    Guilty of that one as well…

    #116793
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    A Lister stasis pods!

    #116794
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    This isn’t a mishearing more a smutty assumption. From Back in the Red (part 3, or part 2) :

    Kochanski : I don’t know what got into me
    Lister : Nothing, sadly

    Having not seen the episode in a while, I, um, assumed the line was:

    Kochanski : I don’t know what came over me
    Lister : Nothing, sadly.

    #116784
    si
    Participant

    Fnaar.

    #116776
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    > Kochanski : I don’t know what came over me
    > Lister : Nothing, sadly.

    And again, a *much* better line.

    #116777
    si
    Participant

    I can imagine ‘came over’ being the line in an earlier draft, before Doug maybe chickened out and decided ‘got into’ was perhaps not quite as graphic a mental image for a 9pm BBC2 audience.

    #116779
    ori-STUDFARM
    Participant

    I don’t know. ‘In Chloe’ would be better than ‘over Chloe’ by my reckoning…..although I’d take either…

    #116773
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    >I can imagine ‘came over’ being the line in an earlier draft,

    Nah, the early draft was:

    Kochanski : I don’t know what bent me over and fucked me up the arse.
    Lister : Nothing, sadly.

    Alas, this was omitted because it didn’t actually make sense within the context of the story.

    Ah well.

    #116774
    si
    Participant

    It’s been over three and a half hours, and not one Foaming Twat mention. Tut.

    #116587
    mick
    Participant

    Why bother when a picture of one accompanies your every post.

    :-P

    #116588
    ori-STUDFARM
    Participant

    That’s not nice….he isn’t foaming in his picture :P

    #116589
    si
    Participant

    I’ve had my moments.

    I’ve often woken in a hospital bed after said moments, but still.

    #116590
    mick
    Participant

    They’re your sexyest moments Si, I’ve been eagerly awaiting the TV movie starring Daniel Baldwin.

    #116591
    si
    Participant

    I studied Drama at college and university, I can play myself, thankyou.

    #116761
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    You forgot “with” in that last post, Si.

    #116722
    Phil
    Participant

    http://www.zoklet.net/totse/en/ego/science_fiction/rd5-6.html

    Found this when I needed to check a quote OH ABOUT 10 SECONDS AGO.

    Sir, I think you should take a look at this. William, meet your brother
    Sebastian. (Compare ID’s). Well, half brothers. New Urinal, same mother.

    I love that this is almost beyond a mishearing…Kryten defines the term immediately after saying it, so you’d think they could figure it out easily enough.

    #117227
    Kuato-Quade
    Participant

    “Hang on wait a minute. Nodnol, Nod-nol. It’s a simple game isn’t it.”

    No idea why I thought he was saying that when I was a kid.

    #117437
    si
    Participant

    From Psirens:

    “Is there anything good you can tell me about meself? Something…Applaudable?”

    and

    “Can you pass me that tobasco sauce? Just needs a bit more Pepper in it.”

    #117439
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    “Can you pass me that tobasco sauce? Just needs a bit more Pepper in it.”

    Is… is that not what it is?

    #117440
    JamesTC
    Participant

    It is “Just needs a bit more pep in it”

    #117441
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    Well there you go. Proof positive that it happens a lot.

    #117442

    I thought it was pepper too.

    #117445
    Plastic Percy
    Participant

    It also took me years to figure out what Cat was talking about when he talked about going through reverse puberty in ‘Backwards’. Also, didn’t help that he mumbles the world ‘gajimbas’ and appears to have testicles that are on his legs and reach down to his knees.

    #117099
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    Just discovered another mondegreen by watching that ‘cultural references’ Youtube video. So that means I’ve had it wrong for, oh, 20 years?

    “Clue, though? You can be Colonel Mustard?”

    Some years ago I even saw “Cluedo” printed somewhere, but still didn’t catch on because in my head I pronounced it “Clue-doo.”

    …Which is a nice tie-in to that other thread.

    #117819
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    “Clue, though?” works for Americans, because for some inexplicable reason the game is called “Clue” over here. “Where’s Wally” is called “Where’s Waldo” as well, which is bloody stupid.

    Can I come back yet? Is my exile over?

    #117840
    Kris Carter
    Participant

    Not until you’re a famous writer/TV personality. You know the deal Paddon.

    #117872
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Can I come back yet? Is my exile over?

    No you have to spend time in Texas, then maybe

    #117876
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    I’ve spent four days in Texas. Surely that’s enough?

    #117904
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    Were you exiled?

    Also: you need a week for Austin; 4 days is good for San Antonio. Not in this heat, though.

    #117905
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    But then, even SoCal is not bearable in this heat.

    #117916
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    It’s a bit rubbish. We don’t have anything to drink in the house, but because my car is dead and it’s too hot to walk in to we’ve no way of going to get stuff. Couple that with the fact that LA tap water always, and I mean always tastes like it has a hint of fecal matter in it (even when filtered), and this summer is proving to be the most miserable I’ve experienced since moving here.

    Also I’m not working, but I’m also not in a position to look for work because I have a huge, awesome project that’s due to spring from its Jack-in-the-Box any smegging day now, and I have to wait for that to actually happen, and I can’t.

    #117919
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    Ugh. Hang in there, is all I can say, and make friends with a neighbor who has a pool if possible. It’s the hottest summer on record and definitely not typical – and they say it will get back down to the 80s next week. In other news, a friend just texted me that he wants to go hiking. I think the sun may have fried his brain.

    #117920
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    A party guy like you belongs in Vegas!
    Piss on SCal! Talk about Cunts CAL is full of them
    Vegas has cheap rents and food an drink!

    #117921
    Al Marshall
    Participant

    Im patiently waiting for p2p’s pecospete banner.

    #117923
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Ben have a few Negra Modelos about 12 and you will think your back in the USSR! Oh the UK sorry about that!

    #117553
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Ugh. Hang in there, is all I can say, and make friends with a neighbor who has a pool if possible. It’s the hottest summer on record and definitely not typical – and they say it will get back down to the 80s next week.

    Good idea.

    So, uh…

    …do you have a pool?

    #117548
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Yes! 20×30 6 ft deep end. need home watcher for Aug Sept!
    I’m in Tuscon Az!

    #117542
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    No, but my lovely, friendly neighbors do, and they say that as friends of mine you and the Mrs. are both welcome. But I’m in Rosemead so you’d need a working car…

    In case you get the car fixed and want to set something up, I’ll enable messages through the “contact” link.

    #117541
    Pecospete666
    Participant

    Your on!
    you can contact on me on the the me at pecospete666@gmail.com.
    You can not play with my .50 caliber sniper gun!

    #117566
    si
    Participant

    I misheard a line in Red Dwarf once.

    #117619
    Dave
    Participant

    I misheard a line in Red Dwarf wants.

    #117685
    si
    Participant

    I’m his herd of lions in red y-fronts.

    #117686
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Iron issued a Linehan rep ward ones.

    #117687
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    I’m Miss Herne aligning Ed Worf wans.

    #117738
    Brayds2006
    Participant

    My piss burned while writing said Moore Wans.

    #117739
    si
    Participant

    Si kissed birds… I’m lying, never saw one.

    #117740
    Kris Carter
    Participant

    Amos heard Aileen inbred whores once.

    #117731
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Flobbalob blib blob bleeb.

    #117722
    Jimboid
    Participant

    Vommadol glim klol fleel.

    #117809
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    About three things I was absolutely positive: First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him – and I didn’t know how dominant that part might be – that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

    #117808
    Jimboid
    Participant

    That’s just nonsense.

    #117798
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    MY TWISHITE ALARM HAS BEEN ACTIVATED…

    #117793
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Shite-y sense, tingling!

    #117788
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Jimboid has stolen my avatar! I am confused and alarmed.

    Maybe even a little aroused.

    #117922
    Jimboid
    Participant

    Say wha?

    Did you used to have Captain Paxo as your avatar?

    If it helps, I’m also aroused. Though more that a little. Positively turgid.

    #117918
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    If the avatars have been moving around it’s probably a browser issue.

    AlexVS sent me a screenshot the other day where Mr. Stabby’s avatar was stretched across where the banner should’ve been.

    #117915
    Danny Stephenson
    Keymaster

    Ooh i have another misheard line. Meltdown is full of them it seems.

    Caligula: This Machine. How does it work?

    Lister: I dunno, i dipped it in beer.

    (I was about 15 when I realised what he ACTUALLY said, but my 9 year old self thought it was plausible, however my 28 year old self also thinks this is plausible)

    #117913
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    >If the avatars have been moving around it’s probably a browser issue.

    I see. It seems OK now. Phew, I thought he was trying to steal my identity like in the futursitic thriller “The Net”. Wouldn’t that have been exciting?

    #117912
    ori-STUDFARM
    Participant

    We should have a “swap your avatar” day. A day where all of us change our avatar into Si’s.

    #117911
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    Wait…what…who?

    *screams like a girl and hides under some coats*

    #117909
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    Anyone know what Pete’s talking about?

    #117910
    Seb Patrick
    Keymaster

    I didn’t think ori’s idea was that crazy.

    #117908
    Phil
    Participant

    Hey everyone! I’m Pete, and I’m the best…at being a big jerk who’s stupid and my big ugly face is as dumb as a butt!

    #117906
    mick
    Participant

    Welcome to Pete Part Three and Titan

    #117907
    Jimboid
    Participant

    I think we’ve passed through The Scary Door…

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