Your Updated Red Dwarf Gags

[Dave]

Red Dwarf jokes updated for the modern era.

Topic

[clem]

[Unrumble]

[Unrumble]

[Unrumble]

[Dave]

[Nick R]

And another music one:

[Unrumble]

[clem]

And so on. 

[Dave]

[Ridley]

[Jonathan Capps]

[Nick R]

[Jonathan Capps]

[Podey]

[Moonlight]

[Moonlight]

And another music one:

I was trying to think of one along these lines but I generally watch sci-fi movies that are like 40 years old.

[Flap Jack]

[Rudolph]

[Podey]

[Rudolph]

[Podey]

That Charlie Kirk one – I was no fan (to put it mildly) but surely making the subject of that a victim of an actual assassination rather than a blandly inoffensive figure that you would think nobody would ever kill somewhat misses the point of the joke?

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

It’s quite a tight rope hitting the right level of notoriety but unlikely to be a target

I originally thought Ed Sheeran, but he’s too popular, then thought Ricky Gervais, but he’s might actually be shot one day 

Landed on this and still not convinced it quite lands the same as the original 

[Podey]

That’s not bad, though…

[Flap Jack]

[Podey]

[Unrumble]

[Technopeasant]

[Moonlight]

[Dave]

[Unrumble]

[Podey]

[Ian Symes]

Having met and worked with several of the above examples, there are at least two of them for whom I wouldn’t be massively surprised if someone did decide to shoot them.

[Ridley]

Might be time to check there’s not a gas leak in your home.

[Flap Jack]

Well you don’t need to tell us that one of those two is Biggins.

I did think better of Winnie the Pooh, though.

[Jonathan Capps]

Buy Ian a few drinks the next time you see him, and you won’t believe the stories he’ll tell you about Noel Coward.

[Warbodog]

[Warbodog]

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

[Veeva]

[Moonlight]

[Flap Jack]

[Moonlight]

[Ridley]

[Unrumble]

[Ian Symes]

I tried to do that one the other day, but the most recent notoriously buxom women I could think of were Pamela Anderson and Katie Price. 

[Dave]

I tried to do that one the other day, but the most recent notoriously buxom women I could think of were Pamela Anderson and Katie Price. 

Sydney Sweeney is probably in the “boobs” chair at the moment. And it’s almost certainly a Parker Knoll.

[Dave]

[Ian Symes]

For fuck’s sake Dave, I thought of that one the other day while not in front of my computer, and then forgot. The exact same reference.

[Ian Symes]

Sydney Sweeney is probably in the “boobs” chair at the moment. And it’s almost certainly a Parker Knoll.

Every time I see the name “Sydney Sweeney”, I mix her up Sydney Stevenson, and assume people are talking about the Entangled guest star. It’s getting very confusing now, Sydney Sweeney is really famous.

[Dave]

[Author]

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