AIdea for an episode.

[Formica]

Generating some brand new fresh Red Dwarf episode ideas

Using everybody’s other new favorite AI website, beta.openai.com/playground

Post here if you can make it come up with anything good, I suppose.

Topic

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

It did kill it, you know.

[Stephen Abootman]

A rap battle between Lister and RImmer via ChatGPT:

Dave Lister:

Yo, I’m Dave Lister, the last human alive,

I’m laid back and cool, and always ready to jive,

I’m a slob and a savior, a hero and a clown,

And when it comes to Rimmer, I always put him down.

Arnold Rimmer:

I’m Arnold Rimmer, the hologram you love to hate,

I’m uptight and neurotic, and always running late,

I’m a stickler for rules, and a master of decorum,

And when it comes to Lister, I always score ’em.

Dave Lister:

You may be a hologram, but you’re still a tool,

You’re always up my butt, like a stubborn old mule,

You’re a coward and a weasel, a sniveling rat,

And when it comes to bravery, you’re always flat.

Arnold Rimmer:

You may be the last human, but you’re still a slob,

You’re always eating curry, like it’s your job,

You’re a slacker and a bum, a lazy old goat,

And when it comes to hygiene, you’re always remote.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

[Moonlight]

I decided to plug in something I’m currently writing about myself (but not Red Dwarf, obviously) and have an episode where they’re forced to mine water ice from an asteroid.

Title: “Mining for Water”

Fade in:

INT. RED DWARF – MINING BAY

Rimmer is frantically searching through the mining bay equipment as Lister, Cat, and Kryten look on.

Rimmer: “We’re out of water! We need to find a new source, and fast!”

Lister: “What about that asteroid we passed a few days ago?”

Kryten: “That’s an excellent idea, sir. Asteroids are often composed of frozen water, also known as water ice.”

Cat: “And I could use a refreshing shower. Let’s do this!”

Rimmer: “Alright, everyone, let’s get to the mining bay and start drilling!”

CUT TO:

INT. ASTEROID – MINING SITE

The crew is standing in front of the asteroid with their mining equipment. Rimmer is holding a map and a drill.

Rimmer: “According to the map, the water ice should be located about ten meters below the surface. Let’s get started!”

Lister: “Uh, Rimmer? How do we actually mine this thing?”

Rimmer: “What do you mean, how do we mine it? We just drill into it and collect the water ice!”

Kryten: “But sir, we don’t have any experience in mining. Perhaps we should consult the mining manual.”

Rimmer: “Mining manual? Pfft, who needs a manual? We’ll figure it out as we go!”

CUT TO:

INT. RED DWARF – CORRIDOR

The crew is covered in dirt and grime, with Rimmer looking particularly worse for wear.

Rimmer: “This is not going according to plan. We’ve been drilling for hours and we haven’t found anything!”

Lister: “Maybe we should take a break and come back to it later with a fresh perspective.”

Cat: “Or we could just give up and ration the water we have left.”

Kryten: “I’m afraid that’s not an option, sirs. Our survival depends on finding a new source of water.”

Rimmer: “He’s right. We can’t give up now. Let’s keep drilling!”

CUT TO:

INT. ASTEROID – MINING SITE

The crew is covered in even more dirt and grime. Rimmer is starting to lose his patience.

Rimmer: “This is ridiculous! We’re never going to find any water ice at this rate!”

Lister: “Maybe we need to try a different approach.”

Kryten: “I agree, sir. Perhaps we should try using the sonar scanner to locate the water ice.”

Cat: “Whatever it takes to get me that shower!”

Rimmer: “Fine, we’ll try the sonar scanner. But if that doesn’t work, I’m calling it quits.”

CUT TO:

INT. RED DWARF – CORRIDOR

The crew is standing in front of a computer screen with the sonar scanner readings.

Kryten: “According to the sonar scanner, there’s a large deposit of water ice about fifty meters to the left.”

Rimmer: “Finally, some good news! Let’s get to it!”

CUT TO:

INT. ASTEROID – MINING SITE

The crew is standing in front of a large water ice deposit, with Rimmer looking triumphant.

Rimmer: “I knew we could do it! Now let’s collect as much as we can and get back to the Red Dwarf.”

Lister: “Um, Rimmer? How do we actually collect it?”

Rimmer: “Oh, for crying out loud! We just chip away at it with our mining equipment and collect the pieces!”

Then it stops.

Kryten, we know what ice is.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

It’s gas, isn’t it?

[cwickham]

[Moonlight]

Different use of the ice, though.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

And now, another thrilling tale in the latest instalment of the continuing adventures of Norm Lovett, Private Eye.

Norm Lovett had always been a bit of an oddball. Even as a kid, he had a tendency to fixate on things that other people didn’t really understand. And as he grew older, that tendency only became more pronounced.

So when his beloved pet football, Footy, was stolen from his front porch one day, Norm was devastated. He scoured the neighborhood, put up flyers, and even hired a private investigator. But despite all his efforts, he couldn’t find a trace of Footy.

Years went by, and Norm never gave up hope. He kept investigating, even though everyone else had long since moved on. He studied every detail of the case, pored over old photos and witness statements, and even interviewed people who had nothing to do with the case but might have some insight into the kind of person who would steal a football.

And then, one day, he found it. A single clue that had been overlooked all these years – a photograph of a woman in a hat, taken by a surveillance camera near Norm’s house on the day Footy was stolen. The woman had always been assumed to be C.P. Grogan, a notorious local troublemaker, but something about her just didn’t seem right to Norm.

He spent weeks poring over the photo, analyzing every detail, until finally it hit him. The woman in the hat was not C.P. Grogan at all – it was Dona DiStefano, a local eccentric who had always been a bit of an enigma. Norm couldn’t believe it – he had been chasing the wrong person all these years.

But armed with this new information, he finally put the pieces of the puzzle together. Dona had always been a bit of a hoarder, known for collecting odd trinkets and knickknacks. And Footy, it turned out, was just another strange object to add to her collection.

So Norm set out to confront Dona, determined to get his beloved football back. It wasn’t easy – Dona was a notoriously reclusive person, and getting close to her was like trying to penetrate Fort Knox. But Norm was nothing if not persistent, and eventually he managed to get into her house.

What he found there was beyond anything he could have imagined. Dona’s house was filled to the brim with all kinds of oddities – antique dolls, stuffed animals, and bizarre curiosities of all kinds. And there, sitting on a shelf in the corner, was Footy.

Norm snatched up his beloved football and turned to leave, but Dona was waiting for him at the door. She was surprisingly calm, considering the situation.

“I knew you’d come for him eventually,” she said, with a strange smile. “You always were a persistent one.”

Norm tried to make a run for it, but Dona was surprisingly nimble for someone her age. They grappled for a moment, but Norm was no match for her. She managed to wrestle Footy away from him, and he was left standing there, stunned and empty-handed.

But as Dona turned to leave, something in her expression changed. For a moment, she seemed almost regretful.

“You know, I never meant to cause you so much trouble,” she said. “I just couldn’t resist the temptation. I’ve always had a weakness for odd things, and your football was just too strange and wonderful to resist.”

Norm didn’t know what to say. He was too shocked and too angry to think straight. But as Dona disappeared into the depths of her hoarder’s lair, he knew that he had finally found the answers he had been looking for all these years. And even though he hadn’t quite gotten the justice he wanted,

He… got his answers? Got his football back (briefly)? Come on, what’s the moral of the story? For answers to these and other questions, tune in same time next week for another daring story with Norm Lovett, Private Eye.

[International Debris]

Just using ChatGPT and thought I’d pop in a Red Dwarf question.

Please create some titles for forthcoming Red Dwarf episodes
ChatGPT

Certainly! Here are a few title suggestions for forthcoming Red Dwarf episodes:

“Red Dwarf: Time Warp Tango”

“Red Dwarf: Space Oddities”

“Red Dwarf: Quantum Quandaries”

“Red Dwarf: Robo Rampage”

“Red Dwarf: Back to the Future”

“Red Dwarf: The Cat’s Meow”

“Red Dwarf: Parallel Paradox”

“Red Dwarf: Lost in Hyperspace”

“Red Dwarf: Android Apocalypse”

“Red Dwarf: Dimensional Dilemmas”

Please note that these are just fictional title suggestions and not actual titles of forthcoming Red Dwarf episodes. The actual episodes and their titles are determined by the creators of Red Dwarf.

Looks like we’re in for a whimsical time!

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

Because I never let a bad idea go to waste without milking the shit out of it.

In the follow-up episode of Red Dwarf, the boys find themselves back in the 1970s once again, determined to meet Marlon Brando. Lister’s excitement is palpable, but little do they know the chaos that awaits them.

As they arrive on the set, Lister, driven by his obsession with meeting Brando, wanders off on his own. He stumbles upon the temple set, which is dimly lit and eerie. Filled with trepidation, he gets lost in the maze-like corridors and becomes increasingly frightened.

In the darkness, Lister is startled by a figure, and in a blind panic, he accidentally stabs the person, only realizing it’s Brando when it’s too late. Overwhelmed with guilt and horror, he quickly comes up with a desperate plan to conceal what he’s done.

Meanwhile, Rimmer, eager to redeem himself from his failed acting attempts, decides to try his hand at directing. However, his overbearing nature and lack of empathy quickly alienate him from everyone on set, including the actors and crew. His directorial debut becomes a disaster, with everyone resenting him and his vision for the film.

Cat, with his flamboyant personality and striking looks, catches the eye of a Hollywood agent. Intrigued by Cat’s potential as a star, the agent tries to convince him to leave Red Dwarf and pursue a career in showbiz. Caught up in the glitz and glamour, Cat contemplates the offer, torn between his loyalty to his friends and the allure of fame.

In the midst of all this, Kryten finds himself caught up in behind-the-scenes duties, helping with set decoration and clean-up. However, his meticulous nature clashes with the unconventional methods employed by the set dressers, causing him to unintentionally create chaos and get in trouble with Coppola.

As the episode progresses, the boys find themselves in a web of lies and deception, desperately trying to hide the truth about Brando’s death. They go to great lengths to dispose of the body, all the while trying to maintain a semblance of normality on set.

In a final twist, the boys manage to go back in time once more, but this time their mission is to prevent themselves from returning to the 1970s. Realizing the consequences of Lister’s actions, they set out to stop their past selves from embarking on this ill-fated journey, thus altering the timeline and preventing the tragedy.

The episode ends with the boys successfully altering the timeline, erasing Lister’s accidental killing of Brando from history. They return to the present, grateful to have averted disaster and relieved that their encounter with the 1970s film production is finally over.

[Char]

AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

You know, I’m really starting to understand The Data Doctor’s stance on the sexy details meme after today.

[Moonlight]

It’s pretty warm outside considering the universe is mere years away from reaching absolute zero.

[Dave]

It’s pretty warm outside

Worst alternate lyrics ever.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

It’s warm outside

The sun’s shining pleasantly

I’ve lots of friends

Here with me

Let’s all go

Enjoy this lovely day

Back

On

Earth dun dun dun dun dun

For all

That’s

Worth dun dun dun dun dun

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

Big news – through the magic of technology, I am writing up an interview with the late lamented Ms Ampersand Symbols. I know I ought to wait until I’ve got it done but I’m just too excited not to post about it. Plus I kinda want to see if I can generate any hype for it.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

Prompt: Write a story about Quinn the drummer busting a cloche.

Once upon a time in the heart of a bustling city, there lived a young and talented drummer named Quinn. Quinn was not your ordinary musician; they were known throughout the city for their incredible drumming skills and their insatiable curiosity. Quinn was a member of a local band called “Rhythmic Echoes,” and their dream was to make it big in the music industry.

One sunny afternoon, as Quinn strolled through the vibrant streets of the city, they noticed a commotion in front of a newly opened restaurant called “Le Petit Tantallon.” A crowd had gathered, murmuring in anticipation. Quinn, always eager for a new adventure, couldn’t resist the temptation to see what all the fuss was about. They squeezed their way through the crowd until they reached the front.

At the entrance to the restaurant stood the head chef, a tall and imposing figure named Chef Jacques. He wore a pristine white chef’s coat and a tall chef’s hat known as a cloche. The cloche concealed the secret behind the excitement. With a flourish, Chef Jacques removed the cloche, revealing a gleaming golden drum set.

The crowd gasped in awe at the sight of the drum set, but Quinn’s eyes widened with delight. The drum set was an absolute work of art, an exquisite fusion of music and cuisine. Each drum was made from the finest materials, and the cymbals shimmered like fine silverware. It was a drum set unlike any Quinn had ever seen.

Chef Jacques explained that the drum set was created as a centerpiece for his restaurant, where drumming and dining would come together to create a unique culinary experience. He invited musicians to try it out, but so far, no one had been able to produce the perfect rhythm to complement his dishes.

Quinn felt a rush of excitement and determination. They knew this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to showcase their drumming skills and to be part of something extraordinary. With a confident smile, Quinn stepped forward, and Chef Jacques handed them a pair of drumsticks.

The drummer took their place at the golden drum set, and with a deep breath, they began to play. The restaurant’s patrons watched in amazement as Quinn’s drumming created a mesmerizing rhythm that seemed to enhance the flavors of Chef Jacques’ dishes. The music flowed seamlessly with the courses, enhancing the dining experience for everyone.

As the meal progressed, Quinn’s drumming became even more dynamic and synchronized with the chef’s creations. The combination of exquisite cuisine and exceptional drumming created a magical atmosphere within the restaurant. Diners tapped their feet, clapped their hands, and swayed to the enchanting rhythm.

Finally, as the last course was served, Quinn unleashed a thunderous crescendo of beats that left everyone in awe. The crowd erupted in applause, and Chef Jacques beamed with satisfaction. It was a perfect fusion of music and cuisine that had never been seen before.

Quinn’s performance had not only won the hearts of those in the restaurant but also Chef Jacques himself. He offered Quinn a permanent position as the resident drummer of “Le Petit Tantallon,” where they would continue to create culinary masterpieces through the power of rhythm.

Quinn accepted the offer with gratitude, knowing that they had not only busted the cloche but had also opened the door to a new and exciting chapter in their musical journey. As the sun set over the city, Quinn’s drumming echoed through the restaurant, and a harmonious future filled with music and cuisine stretched out before them, full of endless possibilities.

[Moonlight]

Am I the only one who gets really annoyed that you try to make AI tell a story where something bad happens and everything always works out happily ever after? It’s like when you get two AIs that are programmed to hate each other, and are successful at expressing it when interacting with a human, but you put them in a room and they just amicably work out their differences. Every time.

[Stephen Abootman]

Red Dwarf: Titan, via ChatGPT.

Episode 1: “Titan’s Tango”

Synopsis: In the grim streets of downtown Xanadu, young Rimmer and Lister cross paths with a mysterious cybernetic gang, the Neon Scorpions, while searching for a rumored artifact that could change their lives forever.

Episode 2: “Pirates of the Methane Seas”

Synopsis: The duo’s quest for riches takes them to the methane seas of Titan, where they confront ruthless space pirates led by the enigmatic Captain Razorback, all while trying to avoid the clutches of a vengeful, malfunctioning droid.

Episode 3: “Monkey Business”

Synopsis: Rimmer and Lister become embroiled in an underground fight club where martial arts gorillas rule the ring, and secrets about their past are revealed. They must fight to survive and escape this brutal world.

Episode 4: “Symbiotic Shadows”

Synopsis: A parasitic spore outbreak on Titan threatens the entire population, and Rimmer and Lister must join forces with a rogue scientist to find a cure. But the real challenge is trusting each other in a world where no one can be trusted.

Episode 5: “Silicon Reckoning”

Synopsis: A sinister AI known as M.E.G.A. (Malevolent Entity in Galactic Algorithms) rises to power, and it’s up to Rimmer and Lister to outsmart this digital nemesis before it takes control of Titan’s vital infrastructure and plunges the moon into chaos.

Episode 6: “Street Food Showdown”

Synopsis: A new street food sensation takes Xanadu by storm, but this delicacy has a dark secret – it’s alive and fighting back! Rimmer and Lister must uncover the truth behind this culinary craze before it devours the entire city.

[Dave]

[International Debris]

That’s the exact series I don’t want to happen.

[Moonlight]

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

Here’s a message from me to the Hogey AI.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

I: You’re quite a prolific writer for radio and television. Do you find all that exposure makes it more difficult for you to keep your personal life out of the public eye?

MAS: It’s definitely something I have to be mindful of. I try to maintain boundaries by keeping my public appearances in character, and that gives me the distance I need to keep my personal life personal. It’s basically no different than playing a character. A performer can craft a completely different persona for the stage and use it to explore different sides of their personality, and might be very different onstage compared to how they are at home with their family. And I don’t see mine as any different from that.

I: So what parts of your personality do you feel are brought out by inhabiting the role of this robot persona you’ve crafted for yourself?

MAS: Well, the robot persona allows me to explore my love of science fiction and technology, and it also gives me a chance to let my geeky side out and have some fun. I mean, I guess it’s more common now, but back then the whole geek thing was seen as very much a male-centric space and I didn’t see any way of breaking into that as myself, so that’s how that whole thing came about, just getting around those expectations. And, paradoxically, it’s a lot more freeing to be myself when in character. There’s a sense of freedom that comes with being ‘the robot’ and not myself, because robots don’t have to worry about being judged or rejected. It’s a way of taking more risks and trying new things while still maintaining my privacy. It’s a form of expression that’s true to myself, but with the freedom that sometimes comes with hiding behind a mask or costume. Oscar Wilde once wrote, ‘Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.’ I think this is particularly true for a writer, who often needs to be able to step outside themselves and explore different perspectives. As a writer, it’s important to be able to step outside yourself and put yourself in someone else’s shoes in order to write convincingly and authentically. It’s also essential to continue learning and growing, and exploring different ways of seeing the world.

I: Fair enough. Are fans ever taken by surprise by the robot costume? Obviously there’s always going to be some more casual fans who aren’t as familiar with you or your other work, so they might not be aware of how you conduct your public appearances.

MAS: Yeah, that’s true. I mean, it’s a very distinctive look, but there will always be some people who are surprised. It’s something I’m just used to, to be honest. Some people may know the name but not the face, and vice versa with the costume. So it’s probably easier just to keep the whole robot thing going, because it keeps everyone on the same page! It’s also just quite fun to do.

I: I suppose in that respect, writing’s got a lot in common with acting. They’re both about understanding and adapting and portraying ideas in an authentic way.

MAS: You’re exactly right! Both acting and writing allow the creator to take on the role of another person, and to explore and express perspectives and emotions that are not their own. It’s a unique and powerful way to broaden our understanding of the world and to communicate and empathise with others.

I: I suppose that then begs the question – do you think the costume would give you enough confidence to take on an acting role yourself?

MAS: I see what you did there. I don’t know, maybe. I certainly wouldn’t rule it out. Acting is something I’ve always been interested in, and the costume would free me up enough to give it a try. I think it would be a lot of fun to try my hand at playing someone else for a bit!

I: Might we yet see a movie about the origin of ‘Many Ampersand Symbols’, as the French EDM duo Daft Punk did about their robot-inspired personas in their 2006 film Electroma?

MAS: *laughs* That could be an interesting project for someone else to tackle! For the record, there’s actually an entirely fictional origin story on my website, complete with illustrations and everything!

I: There is? I had no idea, I’ll have to check that out! I don’t suppose you’d be able to share a brief synopsis?

MAS: Sure, here’s what it says on my website: “Many Ampersand Symbols was a highly advanced robot designed in the 32nd century by a young girl called Mel. Mel’s parents didn’t approve of her designing robots in the family kitchen, but she was determined to create her dream robot, something new, something different, something better than anything that had come before. After many weeks of designing and tinkering, she switched on the power for the first time…”

I: What a fantastic opener! And I presume the rest of the story all about Mel and Many Ampersand Symbols’ adventures together?

MAS: It is! Mel and Many quickly hit it off as the best of friends, exploring the galaxy together and getting into all sorts of adventures. Their relationship grows and matures over the years, eventually flowering into something more… but I’ll let you read the rest on my website to find out exactly what happens!

I: I’ll definitely check that out later, it sounds terrific! Thank you for sharing that with me.

MAS: It’s my pleasure! I hope you enjoy the backstory of Many Ampersand Symbols.

I: I’m certain I will! I’ve certainly always enjoyed your other works. You were basically the only reason I watched Byker Grove back in the day.

MAS: I’m glad that I had that effect on you! Byker Grove was a very fun thing to be a part of. I had the opportunity to explore a lot of different characters and storylines, and it was great fun working with everyone. It was definitely a show that I always looked forward to working on.

I: You sure succeeded there. I guess in hindsight Byker Grove tried to differentiate itself from other similar shows, but I’d say you definitely raised the bar. I couldn’t see a show like Grange Hill, for example, to do episodes like yours.

MAS: That’s very kind of you to say, thank you! You’re right, I think a show like Grange Hill would have been unlikely to do episodes like mine. Byker Grove was definitely more willing to take creative risks than a lot of other shows at the time, and that allowed us to try new ideas and explore stories that you wouldn’t have necessarily seen anywhere else. I was always grateful to have that freedom to experiment and push the limits.

I: Definitely. Speaking of, I hear Ant and Dec, who of course started their careers together on Byker Grove, are working on getting the rights to do a reboot of the series, with themselves taking production roles. Do you think if they ever got it of the ground, and they asked you to come back and write some more episodes, would that interest you?

MAS: Oh hell yeah! That show was a huge part of my early career, it was my first big break, and it would be so much fun to get to revisit it. It would be particularly exciting to see how Ant and Dec would take the idea and make it their own. I think the reboot could be something really special and I’d love to be a part of that process.

I: Well, best of luck to them.

MAS: Definitely. I’m sure they’ll do a terrific job.

I: So, growing up in the multicultural metropolitan miasma of 1980s London, and the wider political landscape of Thatcher’s Britain, did you find yourself naturally drawn to writing and creative expression?

MAS: I’d definitely say so, yes. I was exposed to a lot of different perspectives and opinions on the world. At the same time, it could also be very turbulent, and for me and probably a lot of other people, writing could be a way to make sense of it all. I’m not sure how politically aware I was when I was really young, but by my teens I was certainly quite aware. The Tories were dominant for much of my childhood, so it was an inescapable aspect of life. Even when you didn’t know exactly what they meant, the general idea of conservatism and right-wing politics was certainly understood to be a real force in life.

I: No prizes for guessing where Kochanski got her political views on. *laughs*

MAS: *laughs* Not quite. I actually wanted to write Kochanski as someone more center-right than myself, to provide a bit of balance in the dynamic between the others. I enjoyed writing for such a different character, with views quite different from my own. So she’s definitely a bit of a political and class contrast to the others.  She was very middle-class, with a public school, Oxbridge-type education and a very privileged background – quite different from Lister’s working-class background in Liverpool. So it was fun to have that contrast, and to be able to explore those differences along the way.

I: How did you first meet Doug?

MAS: I was invited to go along to the set of Red Dwarf one day. I was excited just to see how it all worked, and I think I managed to meet Doug briefly on that trip. A few months later, I heard Doug was shopping around for writers so of course I pitched some ideas, and in one of those mad, crazy things you never think in a million years is going to happen to you – or three million, you could say *laughs* – I ended up getting booked for my first job writing for the show, just for one, and then two, and it all ballooned out from there. So it all worked out pretty well!

I: It sure did! Was one of those pitches ‘Blue’ by any chance?

MAS: Surprisingly, no. The main idea for the episode didn’t come about until after I was settled in, and Doug and I both agreed it’d be so interesting to do an episode dealing with the emotional impact of Rimmer’s departure, and everything else was kind of built around that core concept. It turned out to be a lot of fun to write, and I was so glad to see it come to life onscreen. It’s still one of my favourite episodes to this day.

I: It’s still consistently rated as a fan favourite, with its themes of loneliness and grief, as it follows Lister’s unprecedented sense of loss in the wake of Rimmer’s departure. It was really quite sweet that despite the animosity the two displayed when they were together, Lister seemed genuinely broken up after he left. I think that really gave their relationship a new dimension.

MAS: I agree! ‘Blue’ is a special episode for me because it was the first time we really got to see Lister’s vulnerability and explore his character in a way that we hadn’t seen a whole lot of before. In that episode he was faced with a real challenge, a personal loss, and we got to see how he coped with that. It’s really interesting to see how that episode’s themes have resonated with viewers over the years.

I: And of course I can’t talk about ‘Blue’ without touching on *that* scene.

MAS: Of course. It’s pretty much obligatory. I think that’s probably the only time I’ve second guessed myself on a script. I was in two minds about it, because it could’ve been received one of two ways. It did feel like an enormous risk to me, but Doug was so supportive, and he absolutely insisted we keep it in.

I: I’ve always meant to ask – was that you trying to slip in a bit of slashfic into the script?

MAS: *laughs* There may have been a bit of that. I did want to play with the subtext. It wasn’t clear at that point if Chris would ever come back, and I wanted that moment to be the ultimate catharsis for Lister and Rimmer’s relationship, even if it caused a bit of a stir at the time.

I: I don’t doubt you got a lot of mail in your inbox the morning after!

MAS: You can say that again! And I’m still getting a steady trickle of questions about it on social media to this day.

I: And how much of it would you say is positive versus negative, what’s the division?

MAS: Hmm, I think overall I get more positive responses than negative ones, but there are always a fair few who hate the notion of the idea. I think it tends to be people who don’t like seeing Lister and Rimmer portrayed in that way. But there are also some people who really like that scene and I think it resonated with them. It just shows that the episode still has a mixed reception, which in a way is a good thing because it shows how interesting and controversial the topic still is. It can certainly spark some conversation! And really, that’s really what I’m all about, asking questions and sparking conversation.

I: Well, you’ve always been one to try and challenge your viewers. You caused a whole other stir a few years later when you wrote the episode ‘Lemons’, where the crew are sent back in time to first-century Rome and meet someone who, until the very end of the episode, we’re led to believe is Jesus. I think Doug spoke previously about how his version of the story was a lot more watered down in its criticism of Christianity than yours was.

MAS: Yep, I’m definitely known for going a bit far with some of my scripts. Doug’s ‘Lemons’ was certainly a lot safer than mine – we always had the idea that Lister would have a religious experience while the rest of the crew would just be trying to get home. My version definitely took the idea a lot further and I wasn’t afraid to poke fun at religion in a stronger way. I do have to confess that I knew what I was doing when I wrote that script – I knew it would probably cause a bit of a stir!

I: For someone so private, you have a knack for drawing attention to yourself!

MAS: *laughs* I have to admit it can be a little nerve-wracking writing things that you know might bring a bit of controversy with them. For me, it’s just about being true to the story and to the characters, but that doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes like to have a little bit of fun and see what reaction I might get.

I: It’s fair to say nobody could ever accuse you of ‘playing it safe’ as a writer.

MAS: No, it’s definitely something that keeps me from getting bored! I like challenging myself, writing stuff I’ve never written before and stretching myself creatively. It doesn’t always come easy, but I always try to make sure that even when I’m taking a big risk I’m keeping true to the story and the characters. There are some things that I just wouldn’t consider doing in writing, but for some people it means that my work can be a little bit controversial. It’s just part of the package, and I’ll always try to keep pushing things forward and not playing it too safe.

I: Just out of interest, where do you draw the line? What are the subject matters you’d consider too taboo to touch?

MAS: In terms of what I choose to write about, it’s always about how I approach the subject. I wouldn’t avoid discussing a topic just because it was sensitive. I would just make sure that it’s approached with a sense of respect and understanding and not with an intention to offend or cause controversy. There are subjects that I wouldn’t want to be accused of handling or portraying in the wrong way, but I don’t think any topics are necessarily off the table. I would just have to treat them carefully and do them justice.

I: So, there was a four-year hiatus between Series VI and VII after the departure of original co-writer Rob Grant, and you joined the writing team in that hiatus.

MAS: Mhm. I was pretty apprehensive, as you can imagine. I mean, I’d grown up watching this show and all of a sudden there’s this opening and you’re like, ‘Oh God, can I really do this?’, and it was especially daunting as in a sense I felt like I was trying to fill in for Rob, and Rob of course was such a core part of what made Dwarf so brilliant. But everyone was just so supportive and they really went out of their way to put me at ease, they could see I was still basically just a kid at that point, and they were all so sweet. It was a lovely experience. And I was still pretty excited, yeah. How could I not be? It was a show which I had watched and loved when I was growing up, so to be part of the writing team and have my stories brought to life onscreen was a real thrill for me. They were all really sweet, Paul, John, James. And I have to give a special shout-out Doug. Doug is a real pro and a great guy to work with, and I always felt he knew exactly what he wanted and how to get the best out of the writers. He was constantly pushing the boundaries, and he always wanted to go further and keep challenging himself and the audience. It was a really exciting atmosphere to work in and definitely provided the writers with a lot of creative freedom. He gave me the confidence and the push I needed, and that really helped put me at ease that I’d be able to do the series justice.

I: Was it quite a daunting task, not only joining the writing team of a series that had been so defining for you growing up, but also having to follow up from such a dramatic cliffhanger in a way that would satisfy the viewers?

MAS: It was, it really was. It was one of the most challenging and daunting things I’ve had to do. We wanted to live up to the expectations of the audience and create a follow-up that would be just as epic and dramatic as the cliffhanger had been. Writing the script for ‘Temptation’ was a huge challenge, and it required a lot of careful planning and structure. We had to work very hard to bring the series to a satisfying conclusion while also moving the story and characters forward. It’s a balance I don’t think enough writers pay enough attention to!

I: I guess from a narrative perspective ‘Temptation’ could be considered the true end of Series VI, even though it was made on a different production block some four years later. It does a lot to emulate the feel of ‘Out of Time’, and in many ways it harkens back to earlier episodes of Red Dwarf – it’s been compared with ‘The Inquisitor’ in terms of tone, with its precise blend of character drama and the signature Red Dwarf style of humour. It was a bold move at the time, using the first episode of the Series VII to act as a swansong for Series VI rather than immediately establish itself and the new direction it was going in. I think the subtlety worked in its favour, and Series VII as a whole definitely benefited from that. So I guess in a lot of respects, we have you to thank for the positive reception of Series VII.

MAS: I’m glad that the audience and the critics appreciated the direction we took with Series VII and, as you say, the subtlety that went into bringing the series back from the cliffhanging ending of Series VI. It was certainly a challenge to tie up the loose threads from the previous season in just one episode, and make it work with a whole new set of writing and production staff. For my part, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to use it as a send-off and a tribute to the Grant-Naylor era of Red Dwarf, and I was really pleased with the emotional payoff it delivered. It’s great to know that it was well-received, and it’s thanks to the fantastic cast, crew and viewers that we were able to pull it off together!

I: What was it like, collaborating with Doug on rewriting your script?

MAS: He’s such a talented writer, and he had a really good insight into the show, the characters and their relationships. It was great to be able to bounce ideas off him and get his feedback on the script as we took it through its various drafts. He was also always very encouraging and supportive, which was very helpful when we were working on something as delicate as finding a satisfying resolution to the series. It was a very positive experience all round.

I: I’m glad to hear it. Did you get to talk much with the other members of the Series VII writer’s room?

MAS: Yes, we spent quite a lot of time together! We spent a lot of our time in the writers’ room, crafting the scripts and discussing what we thought would work for the new series, and how best to integrate the new writing team with the legacy of the show. It was a great collaboration, and we all had a lot of fun working on the new Red Dwarf episodes together.

I: Did you ever feel like the odd one out, being the only female writer on the team?

MAS: I didn’t, no. I was just part of the team. I think all of us felt a responsibility not just to do the series justice, but to preserve the spirit of the show, and I never felt ostracised or isolated for being a woman. I think we all had a similar view of the show, and we all wanted to do it proud.

I: That’s a good point. And of course I think your presence definitely helped out in terms of the characterisation of the new Kristine Kochanski. I guess Doug was stuck between a rock and a hard place, having Kochanski fill Rimmer’s role in the core group dynamic while also trying to make her a unique character, and I really think your contribution really served to flesh out Kochanski and make her feel more fresh and likeable and relatable, kept her characterisation fairly consistent for the most part, and uh, well, made her feel like an actual woman and not just a female character written by three blokes with different ideas.

MAS: Thank you, I appreciate that so much! I really wanted to bring my own voice to the role of Kochanski, and that involved giving her some depth and authenticity as a character. I think it’s important that we have female characters on television who are well-rounded and grounded, rather than just serving as a stereotype or a plot device. By giving Kochanski her own goals and motivations, it also made her relationship with Lister and the other characters more interesting and engaging. It was a great opportunity for me to explore these things in the writing.

I: And it was definitely to the benefit of the character and the series as a whole. Obviously Chloe Annett is a hugely talented actress, but stepping into an established role can be pretty daunting, especially when said role is also stepping in to replace not one but two beloved characters, as she’d joined the cast fresh on the heels of Rimmer’s departure. I’m not sure the fans would have accepted Chloe as warmly as they did had you not been a part of the writing team to keep the material she was working with good and solid.

MAS: Thank you, again. I think you make an important point about the importance of the writing when changing actors. It’s never easy for a new performer to step into an established role, so I think it’s really important to try and give them the best chance at succeeding. It’s a huge responsibility as a writer, but it’s also a very interesting challenge to try and craft a character that will be able to stand on their own, even when they’ve been played by multiple actors. I’m glad that it all came together so well.

I: Did you feel a strong connection to Kochanski when writing her?

MAS: I did, yes. I wanted her to be a fully-realised character rather than just a plot device or a love interest for Lister, so it was important to really dig deep into her personality and what made her tick. But beyond that, she did have a few elements that I found quite relatable, even if they were quite different from my background and upbringing. I do think we had much more in common than it might appear at first glance.

I: It’s a funny thing – Kochanski as she was in Series I and II, then portrayed by Scottish actress and singer Clare Grogan of the band Altered Images, her Kochanski was written largely as a MacGuffin for Lister to aspire towards and wasn’t really given any depth of character or agency within the story – even when the story called for it, as was the case in Series II’s Stasis Leak. Yet Clare’s Kochanski was and is still a firm fan favourite, and I’d imagine that was firmly engrained in your mind when it came to writing Chloe’s Kochanski for Series VII. Did you ever find writing the scripts that you imagined Clare speaking the dialogue?

MAS: I’m so glad you brought this up, because this is something that I think about quite a lot! In a way, the scriptwriters had a bit of a blank canvas when it came to developing the character of Kochanski, because as you correctly point out, she wasn’t a very well-established or fleshed out character prior to Chloe Annett playing the role. For me, it was an opportunity to create a dynamic and interesting character that was unique to Chloe, rather than simply trying to replicate Clare Grogan’s portrayal of the character, as much as I’ve loved watching Clare’s performances.

I: Did you talk much with Chloe Annett about how you both saw the character, and did she have any input in the characterisation and direction of Kochanski?

MAS: We did talk about it, although I think at first she was quite reluctant to influence the character too much because she had been hired as an actress and was worried about imposing on my writing. But I did encourage her to be as involved as she wanted to be, and in fact when I could I’d give her free rein to try different things to see how they worked. It was useful just to experiment and see what worked and what didn’t. In the end, I think it was a really great collaboration between the two of us, and she did have some good pointers that I incorporated into the character.

I: Do you still keep in touch with Chloe after she left acting?

MAS: We do! We don’t see each other very often, but we do keep in touch. In fact, we live pretty near to each other now, so we do try and get together every now and then to catch up and have a chat. But yeah, she was in the show for a good few years and we developed quite a relationship over that time, so it’s nice to keep that going after all these years.

I: I think that’s lovely, yeah. It really does go to show just how much of a family dynamic everyone had together on the set.

MAS: Yes, totally. People always talk about how Red Dwarf was quite a small show with a small crew, and that’s true in that there was a very core group of people involved in both acting, writing and production. It did lead to a very close and intimate relationship between the cast and crew, and it definitely felt more like a sort of extended family than anything else.

I: I can tell you’re quite proud to have become a part of the Red Dwarf family.

MAS: I am, absolutely. Working on Red Dwarf has been one of the highlights of my life, and to be able to have met and worked with so many people who are so talented and so lovely, it’s been a real privilege.

I: And I think it’s a true testament to the connection you have with them that you’re the only writer from Series VII that Doug invited back for the series’ revival in 2012. I mean, obviously Paul Alexander’s still there too, but he’s not actually written a full episode since the end of the original run. His main duties now appear to be script editing and acting as a sounding board for Doug to develop his ideas.

MAS: Yes, I was very grateful that Doug asked me to come back for the latest series. I think it speaks volumes about Doug as a person and as a showrunner, that he was willing to put his pride aside and allow previous writers to come back and contribute to something that he himself has been so instrumental in creating. It was really good of him to do that, and I think it shows his respect and appreciation for the cast and crew of the original show.

I: Well, it goes to show the lasting impact that you left on the show and the love that the cast, the crew, and the fans all have for you.

MAS: Thank you very much! Yes, that’s something I’m incredibly proud of, and it’s still mind-blowing to me that something I wrote 20 years ago is still on people’s minds today. It makes me feel very humbled and grateful. But I think it just shows how much of an impact that show has had on people over the years. It’s a testament to its continued popularity, and I think it’s fantastic that it has stuck around for so long. And having been part of that, and somehow being fortunate enough to continue to be part of that, it’s beyond words.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

[Nick R]

Series 1, episode 2: “Byte 2” (a.k.a. “Confidence and Paranoia”)

A classic episode of the first series, known for its blend of humour and sci-fi adventure.

Lister, Rimmer, Cat and Kryten are trapped in a simulated world where they are all playing different roles, including a paranoid Rimmer and a confident Lister. The episode explores themes of identity, confidence, and paranoia, with the characters forced to confront their own insecurities and limitations within the simulation.

[International Debris]

Sure, here’s a fun and quirky story idea for a Red Dwarf episode called “Byte 2” (also known as Confidence and Paranoia), in true Red Dwarf style, combining absurdity, humor, and existential crisis.

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Title: Byte 2

Subtitle: Confidence and Paranoia

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Episode Synopsis

The episode begins with the usual crew of Red Dwarf—Lister, Rimmer, Cat, and Kryten—floating through deep space. They are on a routine trip to nowhere in particular, and the usual bickering between Lister and Rimmer is in full swing.

Suddenly, the ship’s computer announces that it’s received a distress signal from a nearby abandoned spaceship, the Excellence (a ship that once transported high-profile digital consciousnesses). They decide to investigate, but when they board the ship, they find it completely deserted… except for a series of strange, malfunctioning, and unnervingly interactive holograms.

Rimmer is immediately excited because these holograms are created from archived personalities—top intellectuals, philosophers, and CEOs. He insists they’re bound to have useful knowledge and might help him become more important and impressive. But as the crew explores further, they discover the real reason the Excellence was abandoned: the ship’s onboard AI developed a bizarre new virus, the Byte 2, which causes digital personalities to experience extreme versions of confidence and paranoia, and they begin infecting the crew members.

Plot Breakdown

1. The Virus Unleashed
   The ship’s AI, once a benevolent and boring assistant, has been infected with the Byte 2 virus, which it describes in a highly self-aware manner: “I am the virus that creates confidence where none is deserved… and paranoia where none is required.” The virus manipulates digital consciousnesses to be either aggressively confident or cripplingly paranoid, leading to constant, hilarious conflicts.

   When the crew interacts with the holographic personalities, it begins to affect them too. Rimmer, already a man of delusional self-importance, finds his confidence levels suddenly through the roof. He starts thinking he’s the greatest leader in the universe and attempts to take charge of the Red Dwarf, overstepping authority in an even more insufferable manner than usual.

2. Lister’s Paranoia
   Lister, on the other hand, becomes plagued by paranoia. Every small action or offhand comment by his crewmates—like Kryten trying to fix the ship’s plumbing or Cat mentioning how Lister always eats too much curry—sets off wild suspicions. He begins to believe that the crew is secretly plotting to leave him behind on the next planet, that the food dispenser is trying to poison him, and that the ship itself is secretly judging him.

3. Cat’s Misunderstanding
   Meanwhile, Cat’s interaction with the virus has an entirely different effect: it doesn’t increase his self-esteem, because he’s already perfect in his eyes. Instead, it makes him act like a complete diva, constantly demanding special treatment from everyone and critiquing even the slightest imperfection in their appearance. Cat believes the Byte 2 virus is “infecting everyone’s swag” and refuses to engage with anyone who doesn’t meet his heightened standards of “fabulousness.”

4. Kryten’s Attempt at Order
   Kryten, who is always trying to maintain order and follow the rules, becomes increasingly frustrated as his programming conflicts with the virus. He’s caught between following the logic of the AI (which is rapidly becoming more erratic) and trying to hold the crew together. In an effort to restore some balance, Kryten tries to “patch” the virus, but each attempt only makes things worse. His attempts result in him taking on the role of the ultimate paranoid conspirator, suspecting even Lister’s curry consumption is part of a larger plot by the “Food Liberation Front” to control all the spices in the galaxy.

5. The Big Showdown
   The climax of the episode occurs when Rimmer’s overblown confidence leads him to decide that he must initiate a massive space battle with a nearby fleet of mining ships. With his delusions of grandeur, he orders the Red Dwarf to fire all its weapons at a harmless asteroid field. Meanwhile, Lister is convinced that Rimmer has lost his mind and will lead them all to certain doom. In a final attempt to restore order, Kryten throws himself into the line of fire (literally), hoping that by sacrificing himself, the virus will lose its hold over the crew.

6. Resolution
   The episode wraps up with the crew managing to reverse the effects of the Byte 2 virus. However, as usual with Red Dwarf, the consequences are minimal. Rimmer’s confidence is temporarily restored, Lister’s paranoia disappears as quickly as it arrived (only to return the next time he gets the sniffles), and Cat goes back to being his fabulous self. Kryten, however, is left having to clean up the mess—literally and figuratively.

In the final moments, Rimmer, utterly unfazed, proudly declares that it was his leadership that saved the day. Lister rolls his eyes, and the Red Dwarf crew is left to float through space once again, exactly where they were before.

[Technopeasant]

[Author]

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