Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[Dave]

OPINIONSLIDES

Fans of a TV series post every possible opinion about its future prospects, including completely contradictory viewpoints, so they can point out that they “called it” when absolutely anything at all happens.

[Warbodog]

THE LAST RED DWARF EVER

Red Dwarf unambiguously ends on a series of three star-studded specials, followed by some in-character adverts, a beer-fuelled online series eleven years later, and another special three years after that, so far.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

THE SMEGMA, IT IS

Yoda answers the question, what is the name of secretions under a foreskin called?

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

RED DWARF SPECIAL BREW

Following the dismal Leopard Lager release for Series XII, GNP team up with Carlsberg for a wicked strength lager campaign tie in with the new episodes of Red Dwarf.

[Dave]

THE IDEAQUISITOR

A simulant survives until the end of time, and – realising that there is no god, no afterlife – decides to try and answer the burning question of whether posters in the ‘idea for an episode’ thread have used their time wisely.

Hmmm, it’s a tricky one.

[Warbodog]

NO IT’S NOT, PETERSEN TOLD ME

The Inquisitor consults a Danish moron who is very good in bed, who clarifies that the Idea for an episode conundrum is not tricky at all. Rimmer does an oddly vague impersonation.

[Ian Symes]

FUCK OFF THE THREAD

G&T Admin notices that it’s about to tick over to the next page and contemplates locking the bastard once and for all.

[Pete Part Three]

FUCK MY ARSE.

It’s Page 14.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

YOU MAY BREAK OUR THREAD BUT YOU WILL NEVER BREAK OUR SPIRITS

Wax work Abe Lincoln responds to threats from the admins to lock the idea for an episode thread.

[peepingsignal]

WHAT THE CHRIST!?

A G&T user enters the “Idea for an episode” thread for the first time in around two years and is gobsmacked at the sheer size of it.

Oh, uh, and Jesus returns to help the Dwarfers with their laundry or something, but there’s an eViL jEsUs who has snuck on board too!!

[Dave]

THE IDEA FOR AN EPISODE THREAD, DAVE, NOW COVERS SEVEN-EIGHTHS OF THE EARTH’S SURFACE

Holly slightly overstates how big the ‘idea for an episode’ thread is.

[Dave]

RED DWARF XIV

Fans debate whether the next series after the special should be called this or Red Dwarf XIII. It’s the latter, obviously. Unless they call it Red Dwarf XIV officially, in which case the special will then become Red Dwarf XIII, even if it’s not actually called that. Simple.

[Dave]

BACK IN THE EU

After an elaborate sequence of events leads the UK to leave the EU, Boris Johnson is bemused to find on ‘exit day’ that the whole thing was an elaborate simulation designed to see just how many violations of the law he would commit under these circumstances, and he wakes up to find that the country has not left after all.

[cwickham]

SACHS IN THE RED

New version of “Only the Good…” which reveals the ship was saved when Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross left an obscene voicemail on the chameleonic microbe’s answering machine.

[Dave]

SACHS TO EARTH

Andrew Sachs steps through a strange portal into a world where he is in fact a real Spanish waiter from Barcelona.

[Dave]

SACHS TO REALITY

Andrew Sachs is dismayed to discover that he has been playing the prat version of Manuel. For two series.

[Dave]

POLLYMORPH

Connie Booth turns into a slobbering alien and sucks out Andrew Sachs’ outrage at Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross’ antics.

[Dave]

SHERMAN-GOERING IS A BIT DODGY

Lister contemplates the imaginary marriage of the Fawlty Towers maid to Hitler’s right-hand man, and decides the resultant double-barrelled surname probably wouldn’t be a good idea.

[Dave]

HERMAN MUNSTER IS ‘A BIT DODGY’

Rimmer criticises the makeup on the Frankenstein’s-monster-esque fictional character.

[Dave]

HERMAN’S HERMITS ARE ‘A BIT DODGY’

Lister loudly voices his opinion that “I’m Into Something Good” and “A Kind Of Hush” are shit songs.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

SACHESARA

Fawlty Towers Red Dwarf Cross over episode that reveals the reason things never go right for Basil is because he is always really mean to Manuel.

[Dave]

THE ANNIVERSARY

Doug Naylor hatches an ingenious plan to pretend to have forgotten Red Dwarf’s thirtieth anniversary, only to later surprise and delight fans by revealing plans for a dazzling no-expense-spared Blu-Ray boxset later in the year.

Unfortunately, when the anniversary day passes with barely a mention from official Red Dwarf sources, fans turn against the show’s creator and accuse GNP of having done nothing to mark such a milestone, storming out of the official site in disgust.

Panicking, Doug is then forced to get the old Red Dwarf DVDs to dress up as a Blu-Ray boxset to appease irate fans who had been promised a huge celebration. After much delay he finally allows the fans to see the set, and they immediately start to twig that something is amiss.

The episode concludes with some genuine Blu-Ray versions of Series III and V turning up late as part of a disc-replacement service, confusing fans who thought they had already seen the real Blu-Rays. Doug wonders out loud if they had met once at a convention.

[Dave]

THE SKIPPER AND THE CORPSE

When Mr Rimmer dies, his own hologram finds himself constantly skipping from dimension to dimension in an attempt to conceal the worthlessness of his existence. Meanwhile, Mr Cat wants some sausages.

[Dave]

DANNY THE RAT

As health and safety inspectors threaten to shut down production of ‘Skipper’ due to the dangerously hot costume for ‘Mr Rat’, Doug must frantically conceal the outfit while still attempting to film the episode without the inspectors noticing it.

[bloodteller]

SMOKE MEA CULPA?

Lister uses very awkward wording and an obscure Latin phrase to ask if he was responsible for a fire in the bunkroom, resulting in it sounding vaguely like the title of an episode of Red Dwarf. But was it an accident?

[Dave]

HOWARD GOODALL REACHES OUT

Gameshow in which the eponymous composer is strapped to a gurney and must attempt to grasp objects that are placed increasingly far away from him, all accompanied by the 90%-unreleased score for Red Dwarf XII. Available to watch for only a select, hand-picked, chosen few who don’t like to talk about it.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

RED DWARF: ROBOT WARS

The crew are kidnapped by a group of unhinged Series 4000 mechanoids. Lister, Rimmer and Cat are all converted into mechs and forced into an arena to participate in a gladiator fight to determine who shall survive.

[Pete Part Three]

FAN OF NORM’S

Doug starts to receive a lot of letters from a persistent fan named L. Novett, who demands that the original Holly returns for the Red Dwarf special.

[cwickham]

RED MORPH

Accurate description of a claymation character associated with Tony Hart.

[cwickham]

GAP ATTAIN HOLLISTER

Captain Hollister buys out the world’s entire chain of Gap stores.

[cwickham]

APPTAIN HOLLISTER

Captain Hollister launches his own mobile app.

[cwickham]

TRAPTAIN HOLLISTER

Captain Hollister sings the theme to The Trap Door over and over again.

[cwickham]

SAPTAIN HOLLISTER

Captain Hollister taps into a tree to extract some of its sap.

[cwickham]

TAPTAIN HOLLISTER

Captain Hollister takes up tap-dancing.

[cwickham]

LAPTAIN HOLLISTER

Captain Hollister drinks a saucer of milk as if he’s a cat.

[peas_and_corn]

DEATH OF A SALESMAN

Lister learns of yet more human life somehow existing 3 million years in the future when a door to door vacuum cleaner salesman knocks on the airlock. They immediately kill him because who buys vacuum cleaners from a door to door salesman? Not the Red Dwarf crew, that’s for sure.

[Dave]

CAT PAIN HOLLISTER

Red Dwarf’s captain threatens to have Lister’s cat sent to the lab so it can be cut up and have tests run on it.

[Moonlight]

TIMEWAVE PART 2

“He said the most important thing was to spit on the wrist, but I thought he said the most important thing was the clitoris. The look on her face still haunts me today! I thought she was laughing at the chef!”

[Moonlight]

TIMEWAVE PART 3.14

“He said the most important thing was to wear a Trojan, but I thought he said the most important thing was to beware of Trojans, they’re complete smegheads!”

[bloodteller]

THE END PART 2

“he said the most important thing was the clitoris, but what i did was i submitted a discourse on porous circuits which was too radical, too unconventional for the examiners to accept!”

[Dave]

BACK IN THE RED DWARF SPECIAL

Hapless geriatric grumpypants Norman Lovett is delighted to learn that he has got a role in the new feature-length Red Dwarf TV special.

[Dave]

DONE MY BACK IN THE RED DWARF SPECIAL

Sour-faced elderly misanthrope Norman Lovett is so delighted to learn that he has got a role in the new feature-length Red Dwarf TV special that he jumps for joy and does his back in.

[Dave]

BACK OUT OF THE RED DWARF SPECIAL

Ailing grumblebucket Norman Lovett is dismayed when his ongoing issues with his bad back cause hik to lose his role in the new feature-length Red Dwarf TV special. He is even more upset when the role is recast with Hattie Hayridge.

[Dave]

DONE MY BACK IN THE RED DWARF SPECIAL, PART TWO

Bedridden mummified codger Norman Lovett is outraged to learn that Hattie Hayrdige has done her back in after jumping for joy to celebrate getting a role in the new feature-length Red Dwarf TV special. “She’s stealing my act,” he says.

[Dave]

THE LAST HAYRDIGE

A new Holly, played by Hattie Hayrdige, turns up to replace Hattie Hayridge’s version.

[cwickham]

THE E-NORM-OUS CROCODILE

Norman Lovett stars in the titular role in an adaptation of a Roald Dahl book.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

SORT IT OUT IN THE DUB

After grave dodger Norman Lovett puts in a lack luster performance, Doug decides to just use Holly’s audio from previous episodes as all his lines are recycled anyway.

[Veni]

I, FUCKINGHATEITT

Following the release of the Red Dwarf special, G&T overwhelmingly hate Holly’s return and exchange jabs at his face comparing it to a withered pair of mongoose testicles.

[Veni]

GITS & TWATS

Angered by the fan reaction, Norman returns to G&T where he calls the users a bunch of basement-dwelling turbo virgins and vows to never work with GNP again until the next special.

[cwickham]

HIGNFY

Dave means to repeat DNA, but accidentally repeats a topical panel show instead.

[Author]

Replies