Misheard lines

[Danny Stephenson]

Does anyone have any quotes from Red Dwarf that they’ve misheard and took it as read, only to find that years later you’ve got it all wrong?

Now i’ve wrote this topic starter I can’t think of an example. Bollocks

Anyways…

Discuss.

Topic

[bloodteller]

>The only problem I have with the Tikka one is that that amount of beating would pretty much have killed him.

to be fair, Cat getting his head smashed in with a shovel in Justice would have killed him as well. Red Dwarf usually seems to do comedy violence rather than a realistic representation of it

[Ben Saunders]

Rimmer mutilating his genitals in VIII as well

[bloodteller]

don’t know which episode it is, but there’s also one where Cat gets poked in the eyes and there’s a comedy schlopp sound

it’s all usually silly violence, even the pub fight in Backwards which i’m pretty sure several people would at least be unbleeding from

[Warbodog]

>don’t know which episode it is, but there’s also one where Cat gets poked in the eyes and there’s a comedy schlopp sound

I really hoped you were somehow confusing Cat with Richie from Bottom, then I remembered it’s Bodyswap.

[International Debris]

Oh yeah, the violence in the show is definitely exaggerated for comic effect, it’s just more the fact that the other three are pretty much killing Lister that just feels very wrong to me. Just a little step too far.

[Hamish]

Besides, you don’t have to be brave to engage in violence as part of a mob.

[bloodteller]

at the end of Blue when Kryten says “Sigmund Freud, eat your heart out!” i thought he was saying “Sigmund Droid” and it was like a futuristic android version of the famous psychoanalyst. turns out it isnt and now i feel slightly disappointed because Sigmund Droid sounds rather cool

[Moonlight]

“From Ganymede to Titan, yes syrup around!”

Partially Craig Charles’ fault, I’d argue.

[Ben Saunders]

Oh, when I was young I had no idea what the FUCK Craig was singing when he said “Lunar City Seven”, and went through probably dozens of iterations of what I thought it could possibly be, before seeing it written down on the internet and thinking OH.

[International Debris]

Having read Infinity before getting the Remastered videos, I knew the lyrics already, and was very disappointed when “You good old artificially terraformed settlement” was rendered “You good old toddlin’ town” in Future Echoes.

[Ben Saunders]

Lol, I’d like to see them try to fit those words into any kind of coherent melody

[Ian Symes]

Chris has a stab in the audiobook.

[Ian Symes]

Chris has a stab in the audiobook.

[Bargain Bin Holly]

>they do the same in Mechocracy, where they just leave him in the garbage hold for days (for some reason?)

Well only Cat locked Rimmer in the garbage hold, since Lister asks where Rimmer is he wasn’t involved and you can assume since Kryten wasn’t either.

Cat locked Rimmer in there cause Rimmer blackmailed Cat for half the episode, and also side-note who’s to say Talkie Toaster wasn’t put back in the crew’s quarters but just got temporarily put in the garbage hold by Cat to further annoy Rimmer. Since Lister asks, “What, alone?”, he wouldn’t say that if they hadn’t moved Talkie out of there.

[Warbodog]

I originally thought Hercule Platini’s name was “Er-cool,” some kind of genuine but laughably showy name.

I thought Rimmer calling Legion “Le Jean” was another pop culture reference I didn’t understand, rather than him just putting on a French accent to show how cultured he is (I assume).

[Dave]

I have seen people call him ‘Air Cool’ Platini too.

[Ian Symes]

There’s also this, from TOS:

[Dave]

Well it probably is Air Cooled, it sounds like it.

[International Debris]

“New Kochanski”??

[Warbodog]

Alternate Back to Reality Kochanski.

[International Debris]

Ha, I forgot you even see her.

[flanl3]

FUCK Craig

[Plastic Percy]

“everytime I see that charwood body it drives me crazy”

[Warbodog]

“There hasn’t been prison gilch that can hold… ceramel fines.”

Not being familiar with Sir Ranulph Fiennes or remembering the relevant scene in Rimmerworld when I first watched the Smeg Ups video, I didn’t know what to make of that. The bars in the cell window are made of ceramel, held in place by very strong gilch, and Craig made a smeg up in there somewhere?

[bloodteller]

For years and years, until just the other day, I thought the line at the end of Psirens was “besides, the Cat has invited me to the weekly craft game”. Turns out it’s “crap”, which is a type of card game. I always thought “craft game” sounded weird, but it never irked me enough to look it up until now

[bloodteller]

Maybe it was Minecraft

[International Debris]

I honestly had no idea what a “crap game” was and just thought it was some humorously named thing that slobby old Lister had invented.

[Warbodog]

I didn’t know what the hell was going on at the end of Tikka Xtended when I was 12.

“Nice going on the [ediatic gas] front, sir. We almost lasted a full five seconds there.”

Rimmer tricked Lister into pulling the lever that releases toxic ediatic gas, which is why the door sealed him on the other side as a protective measure and jettisoned him to safety. Kryten sarcastically applauds Rimmer for what he thinks was his blunder and for his slow walk to the other airlock, which would have killed them both in less than five seconds if either of them had needed to breathe.

Then I asked my dad if Lister’s curried napkin was one of those fabled “poppadoms” I’d heard about.

[clem]

Poppadoms, deely-boppers, niblick, dysentery, slide rule, hummus and taramasalata – didn’t know what any of those things were before I heard them mentioned in Red Dwarf.

Craps is a dice game, hence Cat’s line about cuboid Kryten being the dice.

[Ben Saunders]

Tangentially related, but my brother showed me Only The Good when I was something like 9, downloaded off of Limewire and played through Windows Media Player. He completely skipped over the “fantastic period” scene, feeling that it was too inappropriate for a boy my age,. Of course, this just made me curious, so I snuck into his room later to watch it by myself. It didn’t do me any real harm, but I was convinced for a couple of years that when women have their periods, the blood comes out blue (if I even thought it was blood at that point), due to the “pouring blue stuff in tight white jeans” line. Once I realised it wasn’t, I was still bewildered by what the fuck that line meant for years and years and years, until we discussed it on this site I believe. And I’m still not sure

[clem]

It’s the adverts, isn’t it? Those TV adverts for sanitary towels where they pour blue liquid onto them to show how absorbent they are.

[Warbodog]

Blue stuff.

Presumably red would freak people out. Your brother was overreacting, periods are as normal as it gets and to shield kids from them can make them grow up confused and unable to fully understand Red Dwarf jokes. Or worse, a Stephen King’s Carrie type situation.

[clem]

This has reminded me that I didn’t know what Mr Bean was on about when he described the blue Mr Bean video as the “sort of BLOOD coloured one… if you’re royal.”

[Pete Part Three]

>Only The Good… downloaded off of Limewire… and played through Windows Media Player.

Punishment for shoplifting in some countries.

[si]

*ahem*

Way back when, I used to think that, in Back To Reality, Lister says, “Either we try to persuade it that we’re not that kind of oceanic salvage vessel, or”… (and this is where I made my mishearing) …”we Starbug pronto.”
Which makes absolutely no sense, but it’s just the speed at which Craig delivers the line.

*wanders off, wishing that bloody Edit comment feature worked*

[curtis]

I only figured out the other day that the line ‘natural yoghurt eaters’ means ‘people who eat natural yoghurt,’ and not, as I thought, ‘people who are predisposed to eating yoghurt.’ I always thought that was a weird joke.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

it’s the emphasis Craig puts on “natural” that does that one, because I’m sure I’ve thought of it that way before until I realised that was a bit stupid and it was ‘natural yoghurt’ he was referring to.

[bloodteller]

i think the joke works either way. eating yoghurt is fucking bizarre, natural or not

[International Debris]

Eating yoghurt is a perfectly normal thing to do, and something that millions worldwide do on a daily basis.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

This is bloodteller we’re talking about here though, if anyone was going to have a problem with yoghurt it was going to be her

[Toxteth O-Grady]

I always thought it meant ‘people who are predisposed to eating yoghurt’ right up until I just saw this thread.
It’s kind of ruined it for me now, though. I think that the ‘people who eat natural yoghurt’ meaning is much less funnier.

[Ben Saunders]

Yeah, decrying people for eating yoghurt is funnier, I always read it like that

[Unrumble]

Not so much misheard as misunderstood, and apologies if this has already been mentioned in the preceding 400 posts:

Until very, very recently, I heard it as ‘Rasta Billy Skank’, as in the name of an artist/person.

It’s only within the last few months that it clicked it was ‘rastabilly’ like ‘rockabilly’. I think cos I saw it written somewhere.

Over 20 years of misunderstanding ????????‍♂️

[Kris ‘Drivaaar’ Carter]

Not so much misheard as misunderstood, and apologies if this has already been mentioned in the preceding 400 posts:

Until very, very recently, I heard it as ‘Rasta Billy Skank’, as in the name of an artist/person.
It’s only within the last few months that it clicked it was ‘rastabilly’ like ‘rockabilly’. I think cos I saw it written somewhere.
Over 20 years of misunderstanding

No, no, me too.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

I was today years old when that became clear to me.

[International Debris]

I always assumed that too. I think it’s still meant to be an artist or band, but I’d never made the rockabilly connection.

[tombow]

I didn’t really get the jokes in the novel about which side Rimmer “dresses on”. I still don’t really. Maybe I only wear loose clothes or something. I mean I know now what it means, I guess it just came from an era of tighter trousers.

[Pete Part Three]

It’s all a load of bollocks.

[Renegade Rob]

For years I could never make out what Lister said to Kryten after they leave the AR detective simulation, and only after getting Son of Soup did I learn that he’s saying next time he’ll give Kryten some money and send him to the pictures. Even knowing that, I still can’t really make it out, but there’s still an audience laugh. Now I’m an American, so do I just not have the ear for it and the audience did understand it and laugh at it or was it added later?

Also speaking of laughter, how did Series VIII tapings work? Was there legitimate audience laughter? If so, what were they even laughing at?

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

Now I’m an American, so do I just not have the ear for it and the audience did understand it and laugh at it or was it added later?

There’s a Smeg Up of this line, were Craig goes to walk away and the groinal attachment yanks on his … well groin.

I believe the take of that line is used in the show and it’s just cut before he hurts himself, and the audience do indeed laugh, so I they clearly understood it.

I can, and always have heard that line, but I’m a Brit, so maybe it’s just your American ears?

[Author]

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