Norm’s post-Dwarf tell-all

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  • #2747

    Phil

    Posted as a bulletin on his myspace, subject line “thanks”:

    I’ve had loads of nice messages from myspace friends since I posted a bulletin about not being involved in the new Red Dwarf stuff for the Dave channel.

    I want to say thanks for your support and thanks to those who bought a copy of my DVD. I also had around 80 people who decided not to be a myspace friend anymore and I found that rather sad really.

    Here’s something else that will probably make a few more of you depart. I will not be involved in any more RD and have decided to write a book on my experiences with Red Dwarf. It will be truthful, entertaining and give you an insight into my life which has not been very ordinary. I have been asked to write an autobiography on many occasions and I now feel the time is right.

    Thanks again.
    Norman

    #88803

    peas_and_corn

    Wow. That sounds like an interesting book…

    #88804

    hummingbird

    Yeah, Norm. Whatever.

    #88805

    Pete Part Three

    He could call it: “Grant Naylor Owes Me A Career”

    #88809

    Tarka Dal

    > I have been asked to write an autobiography on many occasions and I now feel the time is right.

    Now the bridge is burnt. I’m not sure how I feel about all this. To start with I was pretty pleased he’s been a grumpy old sod, slagged off attempts to get the movie made and generally been a bit of an arse.

    Despite all that though, he has been a very big part of Dwarf’s history. So part of me does feel a little sad that it’s ended badly.

    #88811

    NitroChrisUK

    i guess we may not know the true story … but the fact of the matter is as iv and others have said before .. its 2 episodes holly is not going to get hardly any screentime anyway .. and if they opend the door for more specials ( i see a series unlikely sein as budget is soo small for this ) then i think it would be same story ..shame he sayd he will never be involved though ..

    #88812

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    What a tit.

    #88813

    Pete Part Three

    He left, they had the good grace to invite him back, the budget won’t stretch to involving him in this, he moans.

    He needs to get a grip.

    #88814

    Arlene Rimmer BSc SSc

    >What a tit.

    But do tits really deserve to be compared to Norman Lovett?

    >He needs to get a grip.

    But if he got a grip, he’d be denied such a fine chance to moan about it on the internet.

    Frankly, if he’s going to be like this it’s probably better for everyone else involved with Red Dwarf that he’s burnt his bridges. It’s a future opportunity for Hattie Hayridge, I suppose.

    #88815

    Tarka Dal

    > But do tits really deserve to be compared to Norman Lovett?

    He does a damn fine tit impression.

    #88816

    Dave

    >He does a damn fine tit impression.

    Now I wish I knew how to use photoshop

    #88821

    ChrisM

    >He does a damn fine tit impression.

    Are you thinking of the moon impression? ;)

    I am rather sad he’s decided he’ll not have anything more to do with Dwarf though. Surely, he understands there were just the two episodes with a limited budget. Should it have been successful, it’s quite possible he’d be invited back for a full series. That being said, I’d welcome Hatty again. She didn’t have as much material in her years on Dwarf, but she did well with what she had. (Oo-er. You know what I mean.)

    I can understand his offence at the email though. They probably should have called him.

    #88822

    Seb Patrick

    I hope he either has a bloody good editor, or works on his writing style, if his Myspace posts are anything to go by.

    #88836

    Seb Patrick

    Oh, and I bet you anything it’ll include the story of Donna DiStefano taking his ball away.

    #88841

    Pete Part Three

    Needless to say, he had the last laugh.

    #88843

    SoundableObject

    He should just write a book around the Ball fiasco.

    #88850

    James

    April fool?

    #88852

    hummingbird

    I loved him in I and II, but Holly as a character was pretty redundant by IV, anyway.
    There was no real necessity for him to be in VIII, either.

    So, I really don’t care either way. But I do wish he’d STFU.

    #88856

    SoundableObject

    Has anyone got a link or a quote of what Norm said about Grant Naylor productions? I heard he was having a go at their attempts of a film.

    #88864

    Jonathan Capps

    G&T Admin

    > Needless to say, he had the last laugh.

    I was just on my way to this thread, hugely pleased with myself that I was going to make this joke. Damn you.

    #88887

    ChrisM

    >There was no real necessity for him to be in VIII, either.

    His material wasn’t as great in that series, it’s true.

    A couple made me laugh though.

    The rodent-bottomed gag. (Cheap but snigger-worthy.)

    The “I’ve hacked into the system and you’re due an inspection in 10 minutes” gag.

    and the gem:

    “It’s times like this I’m glad I’m just a head.”

    #88890

    NitroChrisUK

    ” theres stuff down there that will make your hair stand on end ……… brill cream its called “

    #88899

    locusceruleus

    >He could call it: ?Grant Naylor Owes Me A Career?

    That certainly seems to be a succinct summary of his outlook. Sure, we may not know the whole story, but how anyone can take his side over GNP’s is beyond me. He left, they had him back. He’s traded on his Red Dwarf character and reputation for most of his work over the last couple of decades. His website, his standup tours…And yet he seems to have no respect for the people who provided him the opportunity in the first place, shit-talking them at every opportunity. I’ve yet to figure out in what way he’s been so mistreat by GNP over the years.

    Writing a grubby little tell-all book seems wholly in keeping with his attitude, and I’m sure that’s what we’ll get.

    Just saw this comment someone left on his MySpace:

    “ah well im sure you could get into another good show.”

    Oh yes indeed, I’ll bet the offers are flooding in. No wonder he was so pissed off about being asked to set a few days aside. The mind boggles to think of the great offers the much in-demand star of ‘I Lovett’ turned down to accommodate those backstabbing evil-doers at GNP.

    #88900

    SoundableObject

    It could be that he wasn’t even set or asked to be on the specials and just made up the story for more sales of his DVD which seemed to be successful since he mentioned more people got it.

    #88902

    locusceruleus

    I wonder how many copies a Norman Lovett DVD has to sell to be considered successful…

    Double figures?

    #88904

    SoundableObject

    4 1/2

    #88908

    NitroChrisUK

    thats pushin it …does anyone here actually own a copy .. a family freind of mine was forced to go see him live once and he walked out after about 20 minits he said ” was just some old guy talking bollocks ” considein this family friend of mine is about 2 years younger than norm .. says alot haha

    #88912

    Pete Part Three

    I’ve only ever seen his stuff on Smeg Outs and it seemed lazy, observational stuff.

    #88913

    locusceruleus

    >I?ve only ever seen his stuff on Smeg Outs and it seemed lazy, observational stuff.

    Same here. If his ‘hilarious’ dog shit story was really chosen as the clip because it was the highlight of his set, I pity anyone who had to sit through the whole show.

    #88915

    NitroChrisUK

    he shudnt get in a shitty and start slaggin off gnp ust because h wont be in these 2 episodes .. if he was in it and he travelled however many miles to a studio and did 1 or 2 lines then was told to go home .. he would moan at that .. ad now he dosent want anymore to do with red dwarf .. but wants to make money slaggin it off .. go away please

    #88923

    Squeaky Gibson

    it’s going to be ashort book considering he was only in I, II & VIII (inc VII’s cameo). it’s a pity he has lost the love of Dwarf, but it’s still nice that he went and supported Danny a few weeks back at court. I wonder if he will take part in the Documentary that’s being made as well or will that only focus on the 4 main players?

    #88924

    Jonathan Capps

    G&T Admin

    I really enjoy Norman’s stand-up, actually, and I have the first version of his DVD. You know, before he released it again.

    #88925

    SoundableObject

    >You know, before he released it again.

    With less material I believe.

    #88928

    ChrisM

    >? theres stuff down there that will make your hair stand on end ??? brill cream its called ?

    Heh. That one, I wasn’t so sure of. Although I’m forgiving.

    #88929

    Mnoooah

    Never saw his standup, unfortunately my whole impression was coloured by the ‘everything’s shit’ fiasco and previous dwarf-related sour grapes.

    #88930

    Mr Flibble

    Oh, I don’t think it’ll be a short book, somehow.

    We’ll get at least a chapter about the ball incident and how unfair it was, no doubt we’ll get a lovely account of how he left and was assured someone like Hattie wouldn’t take over – that’ll take up a few hundred pages. We can expect the first third of the book to be a detailed account of how he pestered Ed, Doug and Rob to be seen on screen, rather than just as a voice, and then wrap it all up with a tedious rant about how under used he was is Series VIII, and whether he likes the moon gag or not.

    #88934

    NitroChrisUK

    hmm talking of ed .. i wonder if hes involved in these specials ??

    #88935

    Mr Flibble

    His last show with Nicholas Lyndhurst has recently been cancelled… (Which is odd, because from the little I saw of it, it looked… OK)

    #88937

    Carlito

    Maybe Norman’s deeply depressed.

    #88944

    locusceruleus

    >Maybe Norman?s deeply depressed.

    I would imagine that goes with the territory of being a whinging git who never seems to see the good in anyone or anything.

    #88946

    hummingbird

    Yep, that’s about it.

    #88951

    Carlito

    Maybe he’s a whinging git BECAUSE he’s deeply depressed and self-destructive and emotionally wounded by the rejection of losing the only light at the end of his bleak tunnel over the last decade… reprising the role of Holly in a movie or new episode of Red Dwarf.

    His recent months have been spent walking on air at the thought of a reunion with his old friends, a new chance to appear on TV and revive his career, his chance to once again be a part of the role that has defined his career and in many ways his entire life, and it was cruelly snatched away from him by budget restraints at the last second, leaving a gaping hole in his existance which he will now fill with bitterness and misery.

    Well… maybe not. But you can’t just say “no”, coz you don’t know.

    #88956

    locusceruleus

    Well, firstly he’s been a whinging git for years, but…

    >His recent months have been spent walking on air at the thought of a reunion with his old friends, a new chance to appear on TV and revive his career, his chance to once again be a part of the role that has defined his career and in many ways his entire life, and it was cruelly snatched away from him by budget restraints at the last second, leaving a gaping hole in his existance which he will now fill with bitterness and misery.

    This is the same role/light at the end of the tunnel that he left once before? The one delegated to him by people who he’s been none-too shy about slagging off recently?

    I know what you’re saying, but I find it difficult to feel sorry for someone so willfully negative about so many things.

    He just seems like an opportunist: Takes the job, leaves after two series, thinks he should somehow have say over who takes over, complains when he doesn’t, returns, show ends, cashes-in on the character and popularity, complains again ad infinitum, expects to be asked back, complains when he isn’t, writes a book about it…

    #88958

    Mnoooah

    Indeed. If that’s how it is, well, couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.

    #88963

    Carlito

    You do know I was joking, right?

    #88965

    locusceruleus

    >You do know I was joking, right?

    Of course! So was I!

    Ok, no I didn’t.

    #88964

    Carlito

    Thing is, he’s a clown to burn the bridge when he must know how tight the budget is, and I’m sure that unless the new script actually writes Holly out for good (which, even if it did, doesn’t mean anything anyway because artistic license can always resurrect a character from any situation, just look at Tony Almeida) then if any further Dwarf projects get the green light, chances are he’d be a part of them…

    and the only chance of that happening is if the new ones are a success…

    and the new ones won’t be a success if the budget is squandered on making sure everybody gets their lines in at the expense of any kind of quality in the dept of costumes, sets, effects et al. A great script won’t mean much to a casual viewer who’s expected to accept that the office block corridors the witty banter is conducted in are meant to be the corridors of a technologically advanced space ship.

    ie. he should be willing to take the hit and the smarting botty of not having a role in these new episodes knowing that ultimately it will be helping the cause and in the long-term possibly provide him opportunities to play Holly again. And hopefully again, and again.

    What does he have to lose by keeping a dignified silence? Stiff upper lip, see how things progress once the new shows air, rather than throw all his toys out the pram and say “never again”?

    #88970

    locusceruleus

    >What does he have to lose by keeping a dignified silence? Stiff upper lip, see how >things progress once the new shows air, rather than throw all his toys out the >pram and say ?never again??

    It seems particularly daft on his part to take things so personally when he’s said himself it was a budget-constraints issue rather than a GNP conscious decision to exclude him. And I wonder how many of the DVDs/tickets sold on his recent tours are thanks to the no-doubt free promotion on RD.com?

    If he’s hoping to divide the fans into ‘Norm supporters’ and ‘GNP supporters’ I think he’s going to come up sadly short.

    #88972

    Carlito

    I can understand he’s miffed… if you keep a space in your schedule for a work offer which is then taken off the table just a week before you are due to begin production, yes I can see why he would be a bit annoyed… but he’s going over the top.

    Maybe it’s just a ruse anyway, maybe he will still be in it… we’ll see…

    #88974

    NitroChrisUK

    i wonder weather doug will change the script now to purposly write him out for good … or maybe not even mention holly at all … tho me thinks kochanskis absense will have to be referenced in some way … bye norman *waves*

    #88983

    Ben Paddon

    Isn’t this the fella who said recently that there was more to him than just Red Dwarf?

    #88988

    hummingbird

    Maybe he’s just pissed that Roswell 1847 didn’t receive the critical acclaim that it deserved.

    #88989

    Steve Harris

    I think it’s fair to say that Norman is best known for Red Dwarf, there’s no getting away from it..
    His stand up is good but not brilliant and there’s far far better than him out there, his other TV work has been sparce and not notable of late.
    The best thing I’ve seen him in on TV was one of those historical costume documentaries on the Beeb and that was a serious role.
    If you look at his work over the last couple of years, it’s all had a Dwarf slant and far from getting away from it, it has all used Dwarf to promote it.
    His ‘memorabilia’ appearances, ‘beat the geek’ and even the ‘Double Header’ tour were all Dwarf related and promoted.

    He may not have made a lot of dosh from all this, but it does look like he’s cut himself off from a source of income and cut any ties with future ventures.
    It goes without saying that any biography will use the Dwarf name at some point to push it.

    Hmmm, watch this space.

    #88994

    NitroChrisUK

    the only other time iv ever seen him on tv was standing in a post office in the young ones i mean star cameo or what ….

    #89002

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    That was the first time I EVER saw Norman Lovett, and that’s when my Dad mentioned that he was Holly in Red Dwarf, even though as far as I was concerned, Holly was a woman, and a girl’s name at that.

    I found the first series, and lo, a fan was born.

    #89019

    hummingbird

    I recently spotted him in an old ep of Rab C
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ojp6xCaf2V4&feature=related

    #89112

    peas_and_corn

    Lister: You’re female again, Holly?
    Holly: Yes, and I deleted that other face from my database. You won’t see him again.

    #89125

    ChrisM

    Heh heh heh.

    Actually I think your new avatar should be the new Holly face.

    #89127

    performingmonkey

    > doesn?t mean anything anyway because artistic license can always resurrect a character from any situation, just look at Tony Almeida

    We all knew Tony wasn’t dead! He never got the silent clock FFS!! (OK maybe Michelle didn’t get it either…can’t remember, leave me alone…) The explanation of him being alive was pretty funny. He was simply wheeled into another room and resucitated. Glad he’s back though. By the time of season 6 the number of old characters that had been killed off was seriously affecting the show.

    #89135

    Pete Part Three

    I think the writers’ strike actually helped 24 in regards to the Tony-revival too (as well as being able to plan Day 7 to minute details). The trailer with a revived Tony was released well over a year ago, so the audience was actually pretty used to the idea by the time Day 7 premiered last week.

    #89136

    Jonathan Capps

    G&T Admin

    These first 7 episodes were actually all filmed before the writer’s strike, too, so it’ll be interesting how things move on in the new direction from episode 8.

    #89144

    Pete Part Three

    Didn’t they refilm some bits too? And am I right in saying they’ve finished filming it all now?

    #91071

    Phil

    Posted to his myspace today. (Perhaps this is becoming a monthly tradition.)

    I will not be involved in the Red Dwarf Specials and will not be taking part in any further RD projects as I am unable to work with these people any more.

    I am currently writing my autobiography and provided I am not stopped by lawyers, intend to tell all about my RD involvements over the years.

    Thank you to all the people that have got in touch and for all your kind words. I will always have time for the RD fans.

    Norman

    #91073

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    Wow.

    #91075

    Ben Paddon

    Norman’s book will basically be the polar opposite of Danny Wallace’s “Yes Man”.

    #91074

    NitroChrisUK

    >as I am unable to work with these people any more.

    the people that gave you the only thing your known for. and because you wont be involved in a special your going to throw the toys out the pram and then write a book to make money out of this situation by slagging these people off

    i wont be buying it ..norman crawl back into your hole please .really enjoyed him as holly but why does he have to get shitty because hes not gettin his way,youve already stated you wont be involved so go away.

    if this is all a joke and he is in it. this comment is going to look pretty shite

    #91077

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    This isn’t a joke, it never is with Norman. Doug sums up the situation with Norman succinctly on the Bodysnatcher documentaries.

    and then write a book to make money out of this situation by slagging these people off

    Yet another way of making money on the back of Dwarf.

    #91080

    Jonathan Capps

    G&T Admin

    > Norman?s book will basically be the polar opposite of Danny Wallace?s ?Yes Man?.

    So it will be brilliant, then?

    #91082

    Ben Paddon

    Fuck off. The book was brilliant.

    #91085

    Dave

    >Norman?s book will basically be the polar opposite of Danny Wallace?s ?Yes Man?.

    As is his first name.

    #91093

    peas_and_corn

    >Doug sums up the situation with Norman succinctly on the Bodysnatcher documentaries.

    What did he say?

    #91094

    Ben Paddon

    He said, “You don’t have insurance with us, so stop calling.”

    #91095

    Arlene Rimmer BSc SSc

    I am currently writing my autobiography and provided I am not stopped by lawyers, intend to tell all about my RD involvements over the years.

    Perhaps it’s just me, but do I detect a hint of martyr complex in that phrase? “They’re gonna try and shut me up, but they’ll never get rid of the truth!!1!111!1!!!!1!

    #91097

    Pete Part Three

    What a Smee Hee.

    #91103

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    What did he say?

    It came about when Norman decided, because he’s moved up to Edinburgh, he wanted to not turn up for rehearsals, and just do the studio recordings. With the same pay. Of course it wasnt’ viable, so Norman decided to leave, but he said he was told that no-one would play another Holly. and Doug says something along the lines of “we’re not gonna leave this hallowed piece of ground for you, Norm, because you’ve made this idiotic choice”.

    IN all, i’d rather Hattie was re-cast. It’d be nice to see her fill the screen of Holly again. I can’t see it happening, but it would be a good time to bring her back.

    #91107

    peas_and_corn

    Ahh yes, it comes flooding back now. Yeah, I remember agreeing with that one when I watched it.

    #91118

    locusceruleus

    >IN all, i?d rather Hattie was re-cast. It?d be nice to see her fill the screen of Holly again. I can?t see it happening, but it would be a good time to bring her back.

    I’d love to see her back. She’s an often overlooked talent in the franchise, and has sat patiently by while Norman’s been given a second chance to prove himself a stroppy little madame once more. An appearance in Back To Earth could go a long way to redressing the balance.

    If not, I’d love to see her in the Unplugged thing, improv being a forte of hers I believe.

    #91130

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    If not, I?d love to see her in the Unplugged thing, improv being a forte of hers I believe.

    Thats’ a brilliant idea. I’d quite like to her in more Dwarf please.

    #91150

    Jonathan Capps

    G&T Admin

    It’s probably best if I don’t mention what I’d quite like Hattie to do.

    #91151

    Tanya Jones

    G&T Admin

    She must be around your mum’s age, surely?

    #91154

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    Yeah, but you should see the things his mum can do.

    #91157

    Jonathan Capps

    G&T Admin

    > She must be around your mum?s age, surely?

    It’s likely that Hattie’s older, actually.

    #92558

    Phil

    Aaaaand baby makes three:

    I’ve had lots of messages asking if I’m in the new RD programmes.
    I sent a bulletin recently
    explaining my position on this but to those who missed it, here’s the answer.

    I will not be in the programmes and will not be in any future RD projects as I am unable to
    work with these people anymore.

    Best wishes, Norman

    Posted today.

    I wonder if Norman can work with these people anymore.

    #92560

    SoundableObject

    More to the point is Norman in these new Red Dwarf specials?

    #92574

    Pete Part Three

    And when are tickets available?

    #92598

    Phil

    Hold on, I’ll email him.

    #92606

    peas_and_corn

    I sent him an email for shits and giggles. Subject: a few questions

    Hey,

    I heard from a friend that there are new Red Dwarf specials being made. Are you going to be in them? Also, where can I get tickets?

    Cheers,
    -Dave

    #92610

    Anonymous

    I Lovett.

    #92614

    si

    >Norman?s book will basically be the polar opposite of Danny Wallace?s ?Yes Man?.

    “Yes, as long as I can have my football back, man”.

    #92692

    Carlito

    >Norman?s book will basically be the polar opposite of Danny Wallace?s ?Yes Man?.

    No Woman? But he’s married, isn’t he?

    #92715

    peas_and_corn

    I think all the photos of his wife are just him in a dress.

    #92717

    locusceruleus

    No-one else could, or should be allowed to play the role of Mrs Lovett.

    #92718

    Carlito

    Norm will not be involved in any future Mrs Lovett projects because he feels he can no longer work with himself.

    #92719

    locusceruleus

    I think by himself you mean ‘that person’.

    #92722

    Carlito

    I could have said that, but it would rely on the reader having the understanding that by ‘Mrs Lovett’ I was referring to Norman himself, and that requires the reader to have actually read other posts in this thread before contributing themselves, which isn’t a safe assumption to make on these boards or so it appears.

    #92742

    Phil

    Daddy horny, Michael.

    #92830

    peas_and_corn

    Interesting quote from the Norm interview on this site-

    Have you ever considered writing an Autobiography covering your time during Red Dwarf or even in the periods before and after?

    I think if I was offered the chance I would love to because I have a few interesting stories about my time in Red Dwarf plus other programmes I was involved with such as my own series I, LOVETT.

    #92833

    SoundableObject

    Exclusive image that will featue in his book!

    http://i368.photobucket.com/albums/oo121/SoundableObject/Ball.jpg

    #92837

    Blisschick

    I hate to beat a dead horse, but what is the story with the ball?

    #92839

    Dave

    >I hate to beat a dead horse

    Is that a euphemism?

    #92841

    Ben Paddon

    They took his ball. They took his ball away.

    #92842

    Blisschick

    >Is that a euphemism?

    Umm…yeah, sure. *blushing and whisting innocently*

    >They took his ball. They took his ball away.

    Bastards. Why?

    #92843

    Ben Paddon

    At the time they’d come out with these little leather footballs. So Norm bought one so that they could have a kickabout in the studio. Everyone loved football. Chris, Craig, everyone. Doug, everyone.

    ‘Til one day when some snotty… madam, she knows who she is, she took his ball. She took his ball away. And Norm walked up to her and he said (he’s told us he was difficult back then), he said, “If I don’t get my ball back, you won’t get another line out of me.” And it worked. He got his ball back.

    #92844

    Blisschick

    >he?s told us he was difficult back then

    Well, thank goodness he finally grew up and acts so much more professional. *coff*

    #92846

    Pete Part Three

    Needless to say, he had the last laugh.

    #92851

    si

    Yes, it’s sad the *cough* budget won’t stretch to include him in the specials.

    #92856

    Mr-Stabby

    Norm’s a douche

    #95379

    Dax101

    apparently something new from norman…

    “So far there have been 3 reasons in the press why there is no Holly in these programmes that are being shown over Easter on the Dave channel. 1 No budget 2 Didn’t want the crew dragging a computer around with them on earth 3 A water leak caused a short circuit and caused the computer to break down.

    This gives you an idea of what the people who make Red Dwarf (GrantNaylor) are like and you will be able to read all about them and the cast in my auto biography which I am working on as I speak. I watched Chris, Robert and Danny on BBC Breakfast News this morning. Talk about laughs take a holiday.

    I will be watching the shows but I really don’t see how it will be any good because it’s not shot in front of a studio audience and they’re not trapped on board Red Dwarf which was it’s main strength when it was character comedy.

    Everything is done by one man (Naylor) and he can’t do everything well. Bring back Grant and get a good director (Bye) and it might have stood a chance. And Holly with some good gags of course.

    Not one of the cast have got in touch with me which just shows how self centred they are. I’m not bitter just unhappy about the way I have been treated by them. By the way GrantNaylor you still owe me money for the Red Dwarf movie rehearsals.

    Happy Easter everyone, Norman”

    #95381

    Phil

    That’s funnier than anything I’ve seen in the trailers. Is that a myspace bulletin or did you grab it from somewhere else?

    #95382

    Dax101

    according to the rd.co.uk forum its a bulletin

    #95383

    SoundableObject

    >And Holly with some good gags of course.
    Must mean Hattie since he said he will not be working on any more Dwarf.

    #95384

    SoundableObject

    >By the way GrantNaylor you still owe me money for the Red Dwarf movie rehearsals.
    And you owe them money for all their advertising of your stuff on the site plus the use of Holly in that comedy show.

    #95388

    Dessie

    Thats not nice to read. Norman was my favourite when i was younger but after reading what he’s like i’ve gone right off him. Why should the cast get in contact with him? You don’t hear Hattie moaning about it all.

    #95385

    Dax101

    i think norman watch the breakfast show this morning and was angered by it greatly and decided to take a dig at show today.

    im sure if it was up to norman all the cast would just to his side in protest

    #95389

    hummingbird

    You can’t really blame any of them for not getting in touch, can you? Not when he slags them off on a regular basis.
    But it baffles me why he doesn’t seem to understand that.

    #95391

    NitroChrisUK

    oh piss off norman please

    #95394

    Jonathan Capps

    G&T Admin

    That’s utterly incredible. I love how it’s moved from slight digs to an all out insult flinging strop.

    #95395

    Pete Part Three

    Is this genuine? It’s incredibly unprofessional if it is. Perhaps Norm would like to come round mine on Friday evening and we can moan together.

    >and you will be able to read all about them and the cast in my auto biography which I am working on as I speak.

    Now that’s multi-tasking.

    #95398

    si

    What Cappsy said.

    That really is terrible. What a bitter old twat he’s become.

    #95400

    locusceruleus

    >I watched Chris, Robert and Danny on BBC Breakfast News this morning. Talk about laughs take a holiday.

    That’s the worst part of all. I can’t imagine why the cast wouldn’t want to get in touch with him. Could it be, perhaps, because he’s a two-faced old git?

    Fuck off and sort your ‘career’ out Norm. GNP don’t owe you a living.

    #95401

    Mr-Stabby

    You know what makes me laugh the most, the fact that if a series does eventually get commissioned after these specials, that Norm has probably lost any chance of actually being in the show again. If he’d have kept his big gob shut and not burned bridges, he could have been looking forward to some new Dwarf work in the near future. Fat chance of that now Norm, well done!

    #95402

    SoundableObject

    What is Hattie doing these days?

    #95405

    locusceruleus

    Busy having dignity*, last time I saw her.

    * Yes, she’s a lovely girl.

    #95429

    bountyhunter

    >”By the way GrantNaylor you still owe me money for the Red Dwarf movie rehearsals”

    If that’s the case then why so willingly work with GNP again for Beat The Geek?

    What a gimp, should any more RD ever be produced I strongly hope it’s with Hattie and not him.

    #95442

    Blisschick

    There’s an old human proverb that I think applies here…it goes: “Don’t let the doorknob hit you in the ass on the way out.”

    #95444

    Seb Patrick

    So far there have been 3 reasons in the press why there is no Holly in these programmes that are being shown over Easter on the Dave channel. 1 No budget 2 Didn?t want the crew dragging a computer around with them on earth 3 A water leak caused a short circuit and caused the computer to break down.

    This gives you an idea of what the people who make Red Dwarf (GrantNaylor) are like

    What, that they come up with a plot-based reason (water leak) to explain the production-based reason (budget) for not having the character? Those BASTARDS!

    #95450

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    Norman Lovett can fuck off.

    #95453

    Zombie Jim Undead

    What a cunt.

    #95462

    Nakrophile

    That’s amazingly hilarious. Fuck him and the ball he so desperately wants back. Hopefully they’ll be more from Hattie in some form or other in the future.

    #95464

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    That’s pretty bad, even for Norm.

    #95466

    Jason aka Smeg4Brains

    > Hopefully they?ll be more from Hattie in some form or other in the future.

    I’m still hoping for Bill Bailey. He’d look great as a floating head.

    #95467

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    Bill Bailey would be fucking very welcome addition to Dwarf, he could come to DJ and do funny renditions of the theme. Cockney version, perhaps.

    #95468

    Jason aka Smeg4Brains

    “It’s cold outside…’av a banana”

    #95470

    Nakrophile

    Bill Bailey’s inclusion would also perhaps annoy Norm even more, since I guess the two are friends or at least on good terms.

    “I feel I can no longer wok with Bill Bailey.”

    #95472

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    Didn’t know he was into chinese food… :D

    #95483

    Phil

    Wok with Bill Bailey would immediately become my favorite cooking show.

    #95484

    Jonsmad

    I almost understand his bitterness against not being in the show, but his direction against everyone as if they should take his side is just utterly low. He should be nice, but if he cant be, he should only be mad at not being included, shouldnt be taking it out on the cast, I hope they never ring him again, I hope he never comes to DJ and I hope red dwarf fans stop going to his comedy shows that he constantly plugs as Norm from the dwarf. And i’d like Red Dwarf to make a short online episode called “holly Re-booted” in which the crew manage to turn Holly back on and it’s chris barrie in a bald wig, and fake nose, doing a norm impression and Holly starts moaning like a bitter bastard about Lister, Kryten and Rimmer and so they promgramme quegg back to erase him forever properly this time and reset holly permanently as hattie.

    #95485

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    Wok with Bill Bailey would immediately become my favorite cooking show.

    I would call it “Wok This Way”

    #95486

    Jason aka Smeg4Brains

    > I hope he never comes to DJ

    I’d love him to come to DJ. I’d ask why he’s such a mardy old git.

    > I would call it ?Wok This Way?

    We need to make this happen!

    #95487

    Turk Thrust

    > You can?t really blame any of them for not getting in touch, can you? Not when he slags them off on a regular basis.

    Norman did go to Danny`s trial recently though didn`t he and was prepared to be a character witness? It is strange if there has been no contact at all imo.

    #95489

    Alex

    Perhaps if we take away his ball we won’t get a single line of text from him…

    #95490

    TheLeen

    “I?m not bitter” is a quote worthy of being added to the creepy site header.

    #95491

    si

    >>I would call it ?Wok This Way?

    >We need to make this happen!

    Until a few weeks ago, I honestly used to live just down the road from a chinese takeaway by this name. I was suitably amused.

    #95494

    Alex

    Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

    #95496

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    Until a few weeks ago, I honestly used to live just down the road from a chinese takeaway by this name. I was suitably amused.

    Do you have any pictorial evidence of this?

    #95497

    si

    Here we are…

    http://photos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs015.snc1/2967_153931580461_798285461_6347638_7158413_n.jpg

    (Question – how DO you post pictures as part of comments? Haven’t worked that out yet.)

    #95502

    si
    #95511

    thomasaevans

    what a knob!

    #95514

    Tanya Jones

    G&T Admin

    Good work, Venture South!

    #95516

    TheLeen

    Yeah. That picture really talks to me, too. It kind of says, “Norm wants YOU! … to hate all things dwarf except the bits where you see his head.”

    #95517

    hummingbird

    You forgot to include the words “Red Dwarf”, large and prominently placed.

    #95522

    Andrew

    I especially like the extra T at the end of ‘Lovettt’.

    #95542

    locusceruleus

    I don’t expect TOS will have anything to say about this?

    A ‘thankyou to Norm for 3 series of enjoyable work. We’re sorry to hear he’s decided not to have anything more to do with the show, and wish him all the best with his future endeavors’ would put a smile on my twisted face.

    #95543

    clem

    Norm’s a cunttt.

    #95548

    Pete Part Three

    Brilliant, VS.

    #95563

    Mister E

    I only recently found out that Lovett was a bit of a prick regarding these kind of incidents, but his latest whinge just comes across as bitter and unprofessional. Picking on the guys for not being funny on Breakfast is completely unecessary and a bit of a cheap shot, and taking it as an insult that he’s not on the specials is just a bit silly. If they really wanted Holly and didn’t want him back, surely they would’ve just got Hattie in to do it.

    #95566

    Alex

    I especially like the extra T at the end of ?Lovettt?.

    Oh… Bugger. Still, that’s what I get for rushing it then not saving the master.

    #95567

    ChrisM

    I only recently found out that Lovett was a bit of a prick regarding these kind of incidents, but his latest whinge just comes across as bitter and unprofessional.

    The irritating thing is some people are taking what he’s said on Myspace as fact*. I came across a website today where someone left a comment stating they would be boycotting the shows over Easter as a result of ‘how unfairly Norman Lovett was treated.’ (To be fair it was a comment response to an article not the views of the article writers themselves.)
    I left a comment of my own to leave that thread in a more positive note.

    *Although I’m sure he sees it that way. Ok, it probably was a bit unfair to just send him an email telling him he wasn’t required (if that is true) but the reasons for leaving him out were valid.

    #95568

    hummingbird

    He’s been this way for a long time, not just since BtE was announced.

    #95569

    Alex

    Corrected version here:
    Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

    #95577

    locusceruleus

    >Ok, it probably was a bit unfair to just send him an email telling him he wasn?t required.

    Personally I think it’s more presumptuous of Norm to think he would be included in a revival. I mean, he doesn’t appear in the majority of Red Dwarf, though of course he is a substantial part of it’s legacy. All the same, an e-mail seems perfectly adequate to me, especially considering he clearly has such a low opinion of his RD co-stars and creative team. He seems to have a very strange view of the world. None of his castmates called him? So what? Clearly he’s not friends with them. Do you call everyone who ever did a stint at your place of work when you’re given a new assignment?

    I wonder if the way Norm is being will affect the way anyone sees his performances in the old episodes. I know rationally, it shouldn’t affect anything, but I’m reminded of the fact that I’ve never seen the more Kramer-heavy episodes of Seinfeld in the same light since Michael Richard’s racism ‘incident’ (not that I’m by any means comparing what MR did with Norm’s whingey-old-fartedness).

    It’s bizarre, because Craig’s problems certainly didn’t affect my perception of Lister. I think I find this more disappointing, personal and distracting RD-wise because he so clearly either greatly dislikes or is jealous of everyone else involved.

    If anyone has a right to be pissed at GNP, I’d argue it was Hattie. I’ve already posted a lot about my preference for her Holly performances over Norm’s, but aside from that (and I admit I may be making a few assumptions here) she took on the role he willingly left behind, was quite suddenly written out in series 6, and when the character was reintroduced, was passed over in favour of the person who’d already turned his back on it once. Despite this, she continues to attend fan conventions, put in RD appearances (i.e. Beat The Geek) when requested, and has to my knowledge never voiced much in the way of bitterness about her tenure with the show.

    When all’s said and done, almost every franchise has one. Norm’s ours.

    #95582

    hummingbird

    > I wonder if the way Norm is being will affect the way anyone sees his performances in the old episodes.

    Funny you should say that. I’ve been watching series 1 tonight, and it’s hard to watch him without being constantly reminded of his attitude.

    #95591

    Nakrophile

    Yeah, it does colour your attitude somewhat when you watch them again.

    #95596

    Nick R

    It’s disappointing to see he feels that way about the programme and its crew. But compared to the sort of things musicians say about each other after their bands split up, Norman’s comments are pretty mild.

    #95600

    SoundableObject

    Nah, watching Series 1 and 2 yesterday I still think he is funny, I mean he didn’t write the lines. Lines like “Be grateful for what you’ve got because frankly I’m fantastic” still have me laughing like an idiot.

    #95605

    Ben Paddon

    Appreciate. Basically.

    #95610

    Pete Part Three

    pwned.

    #95616

    Pete Part Three

    I nominate Norm for Stasis.

    #95617

    Alex

    You forgot to include the words ?Red Dwarf?, large and prominently placed

    Better?:
    http://img24.imageshack.us/my.php?image=pensionplan2.jpghttp://img24.imageshack.us/img24/1058/pensionplan2.jpg

    #95639

    curtis

    Wow, so much hate in this thread. I too find it sad that Norman’s posted these things, however, he might have legitimate reasons for his grievances. I think its awful to see such nasty character assassinations about him when people aren’t in possession of all the facts.

    #95646

    hummingbird

    He may well have legitimate reasons for everything he says, but why does he have to act so unprofessionally? Why does he have to publicly criticise everyone connected with RD while simultaneously cashing in on his association with the show? Even without being “in possession of all the facts” that much is patently obvious from what he, himself, has posted on his own site.

    I don’t hate Norm, but I do find his attitude objectionable.

    #95647

    locusceruleus

    >he might have legitimate reasons for his grievances.

    When he chooses to publicly air ‘grievances’ like the fact that Doug came up with an in-plot idea to explain Holly’s absence and punctuates it with “This gives you an idea of what the people who make Red Dwarf (GrantNaylor) are like”, as if it’s some personal slight to him, we can gauge enough to have an opinion, I think.

    “I watched Chris, Robert and Danny on BBC Breakfast News this morning. Talk about laughs take a holiday.” is just nasty and unnecessary.

    “Not one of the cast have got in touch with me which just shows how self centred they are.” Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

    >I think its awful to see such nasty character assassinations about him.

    I think it’s awful to see a supposed professional post a myspace bulletin slamming his former co-stars for not being funny on breakfast TV.

    #95665

    Tanya Jones

    G&T Admin

    Norm’s been unfair about GNP for a while now, Curtis; his comments about GNP finding film funding are particularly objectionable and self-serving.

    #95673

    si

    I don’t hate Norm, I just think he’s a bitter old twat.

    #95675

    Alex

    He’s been slowly burning his bridges for years now. You can hear it on the DVDs, in interviews, in his comments about the film and GNP apparently lying to people etc etc etc. As si says, it’s not that we hate him, it’s more like being a parent disapointed with a small child for throwing a moody.

    #95681

    curtis

    Ah well, Im not intending to fall out with anyone, especially on today of all days, and you do make some good points. I say we lay down our weapons and have a fantastic weekend.*

    *First person to call him a bald cunt after the specials air though gets a slap ;)

    #95683

    Dax101

    norman will be watching tonight im sure, lets wait for his review tomorow or monday :)

    #95684

    Jonsmad

    He’s probably already written it Dax101.

    #95696

    locusceruleus

    >Ah well, Im not intending to fall out with anyone, especially on today of all days, and you do make some good points. I say we lay down our weapons and have a fantastic weekend.*

    Indeed, no point letting one miserable git with a chip on his shoulder spoil the party.

    #95699

    si

    A microchip, him being a computer and all.

    Ohmysides! Nurse!

    #95700

    Mr-Stabby

    >norman will be watching tonight im sure

    I believe he’s actually written that he will be watching, green ink poised.

    #95836

    hummingbird

    Tweet from Bobby in reply to someone asking if Norm had a twitter account:

    Don’t know if Norman has an account. Don’t know if he’ll speak to me ever again, hope so, he’s brilliant https://twitter.com/bobbyllew/status/1497704463

    The man is far too generous for his own good, if you ask me.

    #95838

    Alex

    Here we go:

    norm said to me on Myspace that he’s disappointed. “where were the jokes?” and “no one was on top form” were some of his comments

    #95840

    Dax101

    (sarcasm mode)

    wow see if we had norman back he would be on top of all forms everywhere :P

    just look how top form he was in series 8 after 10 years since he left in 1988 :P

    #95842

    Mnoooah

    Putting up with Norm: YR DOIN IT RIGHT:

    “@MimFox Don’t know if Norman has an account. Don’t know if he’ll speak to me ever again, hope so, he’s brilliant”

    :P

    #95886

    si
    #95907

    Zombie Jim Undead

    > just look how top form he was in series 8 after 10 years since he left in 1988 :P

    Ah, yes. Norm in Series 8. All the comic talent of a man with head injuries reading a tired joke off a distant beer mat.

    #95942

    Nakrophile

    I’d love to kiss Robert in his face.

    #95968

    Jo TORDFC

    When was Norm’s bulletin posted on MySpace? – I’ve just looked and not been able to find it.

    #95969

    si

    Maybe it’s all part of the BtE storyline, and now it’s been taken down, so that when it turns out that he’s not a miserable twat after all, we’ll all be particularly guilty.

    #95976

    hummingbird

    If you’re right then all the whinging he’s done since 1988 is all an act.

    #96014

    ori-STUDFARM

    With Hatty confirmed for DJ XV, would we see Holly ever return in his female guise?

    #96038

    Jo TORDFC

    >With Hatty confirmed for DJ XV, would we see Holly ever return in his female guise?

    I can confirm that we at the Fan Club have no insider knowledge when it comes to GNP’s casting decisions and so this has no bearing on the guest bookings. Hattie was invited as she is a lovely lady who always tries to stick around for as much of the weekend as possible.

    #97279

    Dax101

    something someone post on imdb about normals final verdict of BTE

    http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t150/Caboose_1991/Norman.jpg

    #97411

    Carlito

    So will Norman still be getting invited to DJs in the future?

    #97413

    si

    I don’t think he should be invited for budgetry reasons.

    #97487

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    They should tell him his hotel room is waterlogged.

    #97498

    Seb Patrick

    “I’m glad I wasn’t involved”.

    Yeeeeeah, you sound like it. Good luck selling all your stuff without using the words “Red Dwarf” on it. Oh wait, you still will.

    #97502

    SoundableObject

    You see now we know why Norman was so adamant about his face appearing on screen.

    #97534

    Ben Paddon

    I don’t know what Norm’s problem is. He was in Back To Earth!

    #97535

    SoundableObject

    He will put it on his CV.

    #97554

    littlesmegger

    > I don?t know what Norm?s problem is. He was in Back To Earth!

    Don’t let him know about that, he’ll add it to the Movie payments he’s apparently owed!

    #97555

    Phil

    Maybe it’s wrong of me to say this, but I would definitely buy his memoirs at this point.

    #97559

    Tyrell Corporation

    Yes, but you’re a cunt Phil.

    #97581

    Ben Paddon

    You’re a jerk, Phillip Reed. A total kneebiter.

    #111374

    Ben Paddon

    I can’t wait for this book to come out, y’know. I imagine a passive-aggressive rage seething from the spine of the book like a black oil. Books placed beside it on the shelf will rot and corrode, the pages becoming charred and damaged, the characters in the book becoming miserly and embittered about elements of the plot that they have no control over.

    #111376

    Carlito

    That could be a Stephen King novel. The Book of Bitterness.

    #111377

    Carlito

    Or at the very least, a plot from an episode of Charmed…

    #111378

    Phil

    How long does it take to write this shit?

    #111379

    Arlene Rimmer BSc SSc

    Hey now. Norm can write his spiteful, petulant book-length tantrum quickly, or he can do it well; but he can’t do both. Have you no appreciation of craft?

    #111380

    Ridley

    “How long does it take to write this shit?” – Philip J. Reed, Three-time NaNoWriMo Winner

    #111873

    Jo TORDFC

    I am amusing myself this evening by re-reading old threads such as this one :o)

    #111890

    hummingbird

    So, has he published that book yet?

    #111893

    Pete Part Three

    Yes, he’s currently travelling round the country and pushing it, unsolicited, through peoples’ letterboxes.

    #111895

    Jimboid

    Are we still talking about the book?

    #114757

    Phil
    #114759

    Alex

    But, as Norman points out in this fascinating inside look at the world of comedy, not everyone in the industry is as pleasant as their image would suggest. He is ready to spill the beans about those comedians and actors who he has found to be arrogant and rude.

    Needless to say, Norm had the last laugh.

    #114760

    Adam Bailey

    Red Dwarf is only mentioned three times, I’m disappointed.

    #114761

    Phil

    Not counting the unsubtle reference in the title itself.

    I’m genuinely looking forward to reading this.

    #114765

    Phil

    Additional: More info and cover here…
    http://www.apexpublishing.co.uk/pubdetails.aspx?Num=266

    As well as a few unique links from their main listings page:
    http://www.apexpublishing.co.uk/publicationlist.aspx?list=all

    …including one to a book extract, which leads to a placeholder pdf right now but could be replaced by something much more interesting soon.

    #114766

    performingmonkey

    Could he look more miserable on the cover!

    Maybe he should titled it ‘Bitter and Bald – The Norman Lovett Chronicles…Plus, Red Dwarf’

    #114771

    Pete Part Three

    “But, as Norman points out in this fascinating inside look at the world of comedy, not everyone in the industry is as pleasant as their image would suggest. He is ready to spill the beans about those comedians and actors who he has found to be arrogant and rude.”

    People in glass houses…

    I hope G+T get the serialization rights.

    #114772

    si

    Wonder if he’ll be spilling the beans about those actors he has found to be legit?

    #114773

    Alex

    He is ready to spill the beans about those comedians and actors who he has found to be arrogant and rude.

    #114774

    Phil

    Needles to say…Craig took drugs.

    #114775

    anniescribe

    WHAT?! Comedians aren’t pleasant and friendly in real life?

    STOP THE PRESSES. THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION.

    Maybe England has a different breed of comedian (??), but here in the U.S., I’ve really yet to see one that *isn’t* somewhat of a jerk and rude. (Come to think of it, I don’t know too many human beings who can’t be rude.) It’s just a matter of degree.

    #114776

    Ben Paddon

    From Amazon’s “About the Author”:

    Norman Lovett was born in Windsor just after the end of World War II but moved to Essex as a small child. He was bullied at school[…]

    Yes, I fucking bet he was.

    #114777

    Jo TORDFC

    Publication Date: 22 September 2012

    Not that he’s hoping to take advantage of the new series in any way…

    #114778

    locusceruleus

    Norm’s lack of self awareness is astounding.

    The man who took to Myspace to publicly berate his former co-stars because he didn’t find their Breakfast TV appearance funny enough – a man who replies to Tweets of videos that were neither about him or sent directly to him with the comment that he’d ‘rather drink a load of ink’ than watch them – is going to tell you which comedians he finds ‘arrogant and rude’…?

    Also – G&T Interview, 2003, on the possibility of an autobiography:

    “I think if I was offered the chance I would love to”

    MySpace, 2009:

    “I have been asked to write an autobiography on many occasions”

    #114781

    Tarka Dal

    So Norm v Iain Lee. Which side are you on?

    #114782

    SoundableObject

    Whoever wins… We lose.

    #114787

    Jonsmad

    Extract from Talking head…

    “…and number 2479 concludes my list of comedians and people in the media that I dont like. Conversely I do find the broadcaster Iain Lee a wonderful man, I particularly like his efforts of seeking out people online who indirectly reference him as a cunt, and then putting them right about how wrong their opinions are, particularly when he does that to Red Dwarf fans.”

    #114788

    Jason aka Smeg4Brains

    > who indirectly reference him as a cunt

    Indirectly? Didn’t we have a forum post called “Iain Lee is a Cunt”?

    I’m not saying he isn’t one, but how much more direct can you be?

    #114789

    Pete Part Three

    >Whoever wins… We lose.

    Whoever wins…they’re losers.

    #114790

    Jonathan Capps

    G&T Admin

    > Indirectly? Didn’t we have a forum post called “Iain Lee is a Cunt”?

    Yeah, pretty much.

    I’m really looking forward to this book, actually. I do wonder how vitriolic he’s going to be. Despite the recent and public disagreements with GNP, his DVD interviews weren’t that bad and I get the impression he still likes and respects his former co-stars.

    #114791

    Pete Part Three

    Yeah, I’ll probably buy it. I expect it’ll be in the same vein as I, Partridge but slightly more delusional and fictitious.

    #114792

    si

    Being the RD completist that I am, I imagine I’ll get it. I just really don’t want to have to pay for it. :/

    #114795

    ori-STUDFARM

    I won’t. I’ll just wait to see whats actually in it on this thread. But that’s because I’m a cheap bastard!

    #114796

    Phil

    Can we expect a G+T review?

    #114797

    SoundableObject

    >Can we expect a G+T review?

    I’m sure Norm will review G&T in one of the later chapters.

    #114798

    Jonathan Capps

    G&T Admin

    > Can we expect a G+T review?

    For sure.

    #114800

    Mr-Stabby

    I’m still waiting for…

    NORMAN LOVETT – THE ULTIMATE DISASTER MOVIE!

    STARRING BRUCE WILLIS AS NORM, A MAN BROUGHT TO THE EDGE OF INSANITY BY HIS DETERMINATION TO GET HIS BALL BACK! ALSO STARRING ANGELINA JOLIE AS DONA DISTEFANO, THE POCKET DYNAMITE SECRET AGENT WITH A HEART OF GOLD POSING AS AN ASSISTANT FLOOR MANAGER!

    COMING TO THEATERS 2012!

    Hell i’d go see it!

    #114801

    Carlito

    He’s fairly complimentary with his view of Dwarf on his newly revamped website http://www.normanlovett.co.uk/reddwarf.htm

    Even series VIII….

    #114802

    Pete Part Three

    The bulk of that was written long before BTE.

    #114804

    Arlene Rimmer BSc SSc

    >NORMAN LOVETT – THE ULTIMATE DISASTER MOVIE!

    This summer…he will get his ball back. Or die trying.

    #116673

    Phil

    Cancelled?

    Specific release page no longer works:
    http://www.apexpublishing.co.uk/pubdetails.aspx?Num=266

    And it’s no longer listed among past and future releases (it previously was):
    http://www.apexpublishing.co.uk/publicationlist.aspx?list=all

    Wha happen!?

    #116674

    ori-STUDFARM

    He wanted to turn in a book half the length of the one he was contracted to do. they were okay with this, but wanted to reduce the payment of the book appropriately….Norm wasn’t having any of this. Besides, why does Stephen King earn more than he does. It’s not fair…

    #116675

    si

    I’m not saying owt. He’s already blocked me on Twitter.

    #116676

    SoundableObject

    >He’s already blocked me on Twitter.

    Was that when you complained about him moaning on the Series VIII commentary?

    #116678

    Ben Paddon

    Nah, it’s from when Si took his ball.

    (That’ll never get old.)

    #116679

    Ben Paddon

    WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NORMAN LOVETT AND ADOLF HITLER?

    HITLER STILL HAS ONE BALL.

    #116680

    Ridley

    Hitler got his book published?

    #116682

    SoundableObject

    Hitler was in Series III and IV?

    #116683

    si

    > Was that when you complained about him moaning on the Series VIII commentary?

    Yup. I wouldn’t mind if I’d @mentioned him, but his daughter just found me talking about him, told me off, and since then, on the odd occasion I’ve looked, I can’t see Norm’s tweets.
    Hence I never actually say “Norman Lovett” on Twitter. I usually just mention ‘Norm’ when necessary.

    #116691

    Phil

    He searches for that, too.

    #116692

    SoundableObject

    Oh, it seems I’m blocked by him too. I have the “Loading Tweets seems to be taking a while.” on Chrome when logged in but when I use IE when I’m not logged in I can see his tweets.

    #116693

    Ben Paddon

    Sorry, you can’t follow this user (because they’re blocking you).

    My guess? Norm searched for us all individually on Twitter just so he could block us.

    #116699

    redhead85

    > My guess? Norm searched for us all individually on Twitter just so he could block us.

    N’aww. Sweet.

    #116708

    Ben Paddon

    Truly, he cares a lot.

    #116709

    ori-STUDFARM

    Bastard! Now I have Faith No More buzzing around my brain!

    #116711

    Alex

    Oddly I’m not blocked by him. What is the world coming to when Ian makes up with Iian Lee and me and Norm seem to be on ok terms?

    #116712

    si

    It’s because of the Jubilee, I imagine.

    #116730

    Pete Part Three

    You’re not missing much, guys.

    #116638

    Phil

    Possibly just delayed.

    Thanks Philip. Hopefully we will get to publish this title sometime next year.
    Best regards
    Chris Cowlin
    Production & Publishing Manager
    Apex Publishing Ltd

    #116641

    performingmonkey

    Norman Lovett’s Bald.

    #117294

    Cloud Strife

    I tweeted norm asking him when “his book of all the people he hates” was out. But he blocked me haha.

    #117295

    Alex

    I’d imagine he’s more concerned with finiding somehwere to live at the moment to be honest, what with having set fire to his flat and all.

    #117297

    Ben Paddon

    Wait, what?

    Edit: Oh! Well then!

    #117298

    HelloMabel

    What does “all processions ruined” mean?

    #117299

    si

    I saw that he’d blocked Robert Llewellyn as well.

    But yes, sorry to hear about his fridge and everything.

    #117343

    ori-STUDFARM

    The same fridge that was a gift from Tony Hawk!He Tweeted that it looked a little ‘battered’

    #117349

    si

    You’d think any Red Dwarf cast members would get at least a discount on Smeg fridges.

    #117351

    ori-STUDFARM

    They can…But Norm refused his discount and paid full price after discovering his discount was less than the other cast members.

    #117359

    Ben Paddon

    I think he set his own fridge on fire, personally.

    #117362

    ori-STUDFARM

    When the packet says “Cook from frozen”, that isn’t quite what it means….

    #117367

    performingmonkey

    I heard he gives good head.

    #117371

    mick

    Took some trawling through my old photobucket account to find this gem:

    #126307

    Mr-Stabby

    For the first time in a long time i decided to listen to the commentaries on the Series 8 DVDs. I can’t believe i’ve never noticed how negative Norm is being in these commentaries. The thing is, a lot of the time he actually has a point with what he’s saying. Mainly with the whole ‘this used to be a sitcom, now it’s panto’ type stuff. Even sighing the occasional ‘Oh my god…’ at points in the shows when i was doing the exact same thing for it being stupid or crap in some way.

    But he’s just being pointlessly antagonistic towards the rest of the cast at various points. They occasionally bite back at him. I love it when Chris does his impression of Norm, then when Norm says his career as an impressionist is over, Chris says ‘Well maybe you should be more famous Norm then i’d be back in business’. Classic :D

    #126308

    SoundableObject

    I wonder if Norm will be in the new series.

    #126311

    HelloMabel

    > I wonder if Norm will be in the new series.

    Yes. That memorable guest appearance everyone’s talking about?

    George Wendt.

    #126315

    Jo TORDFC

    Blimey, the publishing company REALLY likes quiz books!
    http://www.apexpublishing.co.uk/latestnews.aspx

    #126316

    HelloMabel

    1. Norman Lovett’s favorite hobby is:
    A. Moaning
    B. Moaning about Red Dwarf
    C. Moaning about his ball being taken away

    #126324

    Ridley

    I can’t believe i’ve never noticed how negative Norm is being in these commentaries.

    I believe it was Mr. Paddon who pointed out his disappointment – not in these words, mind – that the crotchety old man schtick doesn’t appear to be an act.

    #126329

    mick

    I realised after seeing him have a mental rant at a barman in Peterborough, that he was in fact a massive cunt.

    #126333

    Ben Paddon

    He’s like Larry David, but without all that natural charm.

    #126347

    Mr-Stabby

    I realised after seeing him have a mental rant at a barman in Peterborough, that he was in fact a massive cunt.

    What about???

    Barman: Here’s your drink Mr Lovett
    Norm: Where’s my umbrella?! Give me my umbrella! If i don’t get my umbrella, you won’t get another line out of me!
    Barman: You’ve had one too many lines already!

    #126351

    Phil

    Norm walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the long face?” Norm spends 10 years slagging off the bartender personally, the bar itself, the town in which the bar is located, and everyone who’s ever enjoyed themselves at the bar, then moans about not be invited to the anniversary of its opening.

    #126353

    Pete Part Three

    Excellent.

    #126355

    Ben Paddon

    I nominate etc.

    #206589

    Phil

    Hi, no its not going ahead.

    best regards

    Chris Cowlin
    Production & Publishing Manager
    Apex Publishing Ltd

    #206591

    Ridley

    She said “I’ll take the tell-all.” And she took the tell-all and hid… And locked it away in a cupboard.

    #206592

    Sam Johnson

    Clearly we’re not going to get another line out of Norm…

    #206622

    peas_and_corn

    I guess they’re not interested in the audience Norman has.

    #206886

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    I had a good long chat with Norman tonight. He’s very much aware of this thread, and both its general and specific content. We each conceded that regrettable things had been said on both sides, and that (especially around Back To Earth) there was bad blood between Norman and Red Dwarf fans, and that this was a sad state of affairs. Norman and I shook hands, and we both expressed a desire to draw a line under things.

    He also mentioned that he’d taken a break from writing his autobiography, but is back on it now. And incidentally – he likes Series X!

    #206889

    Phil

    If it’s any consolation, there was no period during which I didn’t want to read this book.

    #206890

    Jonsmad

    You had a photograph taken shaking Iain Lee’s hand. Now you are expressing desires to move on from anti-Norman sentiments on G & T.

    God fucking dam it Symes!!! Stop being so fucking mature. We are running out of obvious formulaic but of the joke shared gag references around here man!

    * sigh* ok ok. I’m onboard. Well done to you. And Well done to Norm. Bright new future.

    But if you ever, AND I MEAN EVER, have a nice little chat and photograph opportunity with Chloe’s vaginal entry, and agree that the future direction is that we all no longer discuss it’s frothable capabilities. Then I’m fucking out of here.

    #206891

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    Thanks to Jonsmad, i’ve just discovered what might well be the most interesting word to say out loud in the English Language next to ‘egg’, ‘sponge’ and ‘pebble’: Frothable. Thanks for that.

    #206892

    Ridley

    Stop being so fucking mature.

    More like self-preservation while he continues to encroach on their professions. :p

    #206893

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    For the record, I’m not asking anyone to change their opinions on Norman, or to feel restricted into what they can or can’t post here. I explained to Norman the difference between G&T’s editorial comment and what the community says on the forum, and that we would never censor or moderate anyone’s opinions.

    All I’m saying is that I, personally, don’t want to be involved in any sort of feud, which you may remember I also said in one of our Series X Instant Reaction Dwarfcasts – around six months before I’d even considered doing standup, let alone found out that I’d be on the same bill as him! I think Norm has acted like a tit at times in the recent past, but I’m willing to forgive and forget. Same deal with Iain Lee – between us, we called an end to the aggression online about a year before that reconciliation photo was posted.

    #206895

    Pete Part Three

    I think he needs to do an interview about this (and G+T is the obvious place for it). I agree with a lot of his criticisms of recent Red Dwarf but don’t think he, as a former cast member, has acted very professionally in being so vocal about them.

    He *may* have been badly treated but I think he’s been very misguided in expecting fans to side with him over Grant Naylor, and I hope he realises that now. If Series VIII told us anything, it’s that RD fans are a forgiving bunch (Well, some of them. Well, one of them. Maybe) so if he put the record straight, it would probably do him a favour. The alternative is waiting for his autobiography, but I don’t know how many fans would buy that with the way things are currently.

    #206896

    clem

    A lack of professionalism’s one thing, but some of the comments Norm’s come out with are really unpleasant and a few seem downright nasty, and none of it seems justified. I just get the impression he’s a horrible bloke tbh. What was he actually like in person Ian? And how did your set go?

    #206898

    Jonsmad

    “I’m willing to forgive and forget” and that’s the admirable quality, that I hope it was ok to make a joke about. Cus If im being serious instead then I agree that feuds going on forever are pointless. I’m more than at the point, where I can forgive Norman. He’s missed another series, as a result of his actions surely, and he didn’t
    yet write a dummy spitting book, so id welcome a return to his better qualities being the focus, such as his
    comedic brilliance and dry take on things.

    Didn’t know you were doing standup at the gig, did you do 20 minutes on running a red dwarf site and
    what a tit the guy who played Holly was in the past? How did that go down?

    Sorry Danny. Frothable isn’t in the English language. I think the correct term there is just froth. But I wanted
    more comedy sounds in what I was saying in jestyness.

    #206899

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    I did a little section on Dwarf – asking if there were any fans in. Perhaps the bald gentleman at the back? He responded that he preferred the Big Bang Theory.

    #206901

    Tarka Dal

    This is excellent. Although it did amuse me that after reading this “I explained to Norman the difference between G&T’s editorial comment and what the community says on the forum” I scrolled up and the first comment I saw was Ian simply saying “What a tit!”

    #206902

    Alex

    It was certainly apparent last night, if it hadn’t been already, that however all of this started Norman has felt quite hurt by some of it and God knows I’m responsible for the lions share of that it seems. While I don’t think anyone on here would have gone to the length of trolling Norm by sending messages directly him saying why we disagreed with the comments etc he was making about 4 years ago, we were quite happy to come and post them on here. In my case, my posts were certainly tailored to the tone of the site and without a thought that Norm would then go through them. In hindsight, that’s regrettable.

    Was it an overreaction? Well very possibly. I’d remove the pictures from this thread if I could and if any of the admins can, then please do so as imageshack don’t allow me to. For the record, I don’t hold a grudge on any of this and never did, even if I joked at the time about my disappointment in the comments he was making. The review of his DVD for Gazpacho Soup even tries to address this in it’s opening paragraph to try and reinforce this point incase anyone got the wrong impression. Sadly, it seemed last night that such sentiments might not amount to enough, but if Norm *is* checking this thread then it seems worth making my position clear. Like Ian I can’t help but think that regrettable things were said on both sides, for which I happily apologise for my part therein.

    #206903

    Pete Part Three

    I was going to comment that Norman acted like a twat so we called him out on it. But it seems he only acted like a twat between Jan-April 2009 and we kinda dragged it on for a lot longer than was necessary.

    >And incidentally – he likes Series X!

    This is why, if he’s genuinely contrite, I’d like him to tell us where he is now. We’ve been ripping on him for comments he made back in 2009 when he was talking about lawyers and questioning the talents of his co-stars. I appreciate he was hurt at not being included in Back to Earth and maybe his perspective on it has altered.

    If he’d update his website or give an interview, it would put things into perspective for 2013. It’s his prerogative to feel exactly how he wants to about the state of Red Dwarf and its fandom, but we’re only dredging up the past because that’s all we’ve got to go on.

    #206905

    clem

    I can forgive Norm if he’s genuinely sorry but if we’re talking about a potential return to RD, I think it’s worth remembering that Hattie hasn’t acted like a twat at all, and is surely more deserving than Norm of the opportunity to play Holly again, should the character appear ever again.

    #206912

    Slainmonkey

    Way I see it, Norm has acted unprofessional and even petty but has already been taken to task over it. Unless the man says or does something else that warrants such harsh criticism then maybe it should be put to rest now. I mean it’s not like he murdered anyone so 4 years of trashing just seems a bit much to me.

    #206913

    MANI506

    I find the Father Ted picture hilarious Alex.

    #206918

    anniescribe

    I’d watch either of them play Holly again, though FWIW, I have liked Hattie a little better in the role since I first saw her doing it anyway. Norman hasn’t nearly pulled a Polanski or Chris Brown, something that renders his art less to the point I want no part of it (just IMO on those two), but from a boss’s POV, if he’s harder to work with than Hattie, I could see why he wouldn’t be hired again, if he isn’t and she is. If I have a story to assign and two talented writers, and one gives me a lot more grief, guess who gets the story?

    #206919

    Ben Paddon

    I’m always willing to give people the benefit of the doubt, and I believe everyone deserves a second chance, so in the spirit of fair play I’m going to stop calling Norm a twat and see what happens next.

    #206920

    performingmonkey

    The only real issue was between Norman and GNP (also the cast, though who knows if any of them later got in touch with him). What Norman shouldn’t have done – and I hope he can see this – is talk about it, publically. Regardless of the details, what he did was way out of line, and the comments made on this thread are nothing compared with what could have been said.

    What I believe is that he thought most fans would get behind him over the ‘get Grant back’ and ‘it’s not funny anymore’ etc. comments. Frankly, to say all that was far more childish and petty than anything posted above.

    #206921

    Slainmonkey

    I have not defended his past actions but it does get to be a time where the things we say grows to be petty in of itself, I think 4 years later kinda crosses that line.

    #206922

    genericnerdyusername

    If we need someone new to bitch about, let me be the first to volunteer as the target.

    #206923

    si

    Cheers.

    That genericnerdyusername…what a cunt.

    Ah, that’s better.

    #206924

    Phil

    Genericnerdyusername walks into a bar. He’s pretty quiet but overall a nice guy so everyone’s glad to have him.

    #206926

    genericnerdyusername

    I feel hurt and a warmth in my heart at the same.

    I….I have heartburn?

    #206958

    locusceruleus

    The thing is I don’t think anyone is as publicly venomous in the way that Norm was in 2009 without hoping for some sort of a reaction. The reaction he got, perhaps not the one he was expecting, was that the majority stood up for the rest of the cast and wrote Norm off as a bitter and mean-spirited person.

    Perhaps Norm might think it’s because he is valued less than his co-stars by the fanbase. I don’t think that’s the case at all, and in fact all that it amounts to is that the fan love for the show and the cast as a whole generally trumps the love for any individual member. If Danny had decided to post bitter comments about Craig hogging the limelight, Norm being past it, complaining that the rest of them weren’t funny without him etc., I’m fairly sure that we’d have all rallied around Norm, Craig and the rest of the cast while tutting at and being disappointed in Danny.

    The nasty ‘Talk about laughs take a holiday’ comment after the BBC Breakfast interview, public Tweets to Bobby berating his car video links for being boring, the MySpace posts….all of these were public. Perhaps they were born out of legitimate professional gripes, but then they should have been handled privately. I hope Norm can see that from our point of view, all we got to witness was one man slinging fairly unpleasant and seemingly unsolicited insults at a group of people we very much like. The rest of the casts lack of public response to this baiting only served to make him look worse. That’s just the way it is – in most cases if you’re the one who loses your temper, you’re the one who people think of as a fool.

    That said, I’m sure if Norman was to publicly say something as simple as ‘I regret a couple of things I said in the heat of the moment, the rest of the cast & crew aren’t wholly irredeemable bastards, Series X was quite good’, I think the laughs and good fun he’s given us over the years would soon take precedent in all our memories again & this whole sorry business will be looked at as nothing more than one more minor blip/controversy in the history of Red Dwarf that everyone’s got past and largely forgotten.

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