Captain Bollocks

[Captain Bollocks]

A while back, I actually watched the entire run with someone who had never even heard of Red Dwarf (she’s American, and hadn’t seen it on PBS or whatever station carries it there).

Vicariously watching it “for the first time” through her eyes was a lot of fun, but although this thread makes me wish I’d kept a record of her reactions to it, she’s a handful of years younger than me, and of the generation that exclusively reads fan-fiction where every male character is suddenly a sexual deviant who ravenously bangs every other male character.

Consequently, her main takeaway from the show was that Rimmer and Lister are, definitely, positively, absolutely, you can’t tell me otherwise, ner ner ner, “space husbands” who should immediately commence to fucking each other at every waking moment because they are clearly soulmates, not to mention that one anxiety dream Lister had when Rimmer left providing three million times more concrete proof of their totes gay desires for one another than any actual documented interaction between Lister and Kochanski, or his protracted longing for her.

She also thought Tongue Tied was so side-splittingly hilarious that she actually started hyperventilating and asked me to stop it so she could watch it again from the beginning, and it was only about halfway through.

[Captain Bollocks]

BERNER HASELNUSSLEBKUCHEN OF THE APOCALYPSE (a/k/a CAN OF WHIRLS)

Rimmer opens his own biscuit factory.

[Captain Bollocks]

WHITE HOLE-IN-ONE

Lister gets better at playing golf with planets.

[Captain Bollocks]

BALISTEROS

Lister plays golf with planets.

[Captain Bollocks]

I’m thinking Charles Augins.

[Captain Bollocks]

“Sir, are you absolute sure? It does mean changing the [Rimmer’s costume].”

[Captain Bollocks]

It’s not Vicks, it’s mine. – Dawn French.

[Captain Bollocks]

I wouldn’t worry about the 400 extras. When Doug gets round to VIII: Remastered he’ll just bluescreen the tops of his, Ed Bye and Chris Veale’s heads into the background to make up the numbers.

[Captain Bollocks]

There’s a 1997 edition of How Do they Do That? that has a feature on the Red Dwarf special effects team. If you’ll recall, the show by that point was being co-presented by future-Tory MP Esther McVey.

[Captain Bollocks]

I actually remember this going out on broadcast! It looked like a complete and total tit.

[Captain Bollocks]

If we don’t get Cured: The Original Assembly on the DVD, I shall be very cross indeed.

[Captain Bollocks]

It’s a shame Chris Barrie is on public record as suggesting people should do other things with their time than play video games, especially when he will happily accept money to perform in them.

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