Did Lister ever find out what an iguana is?

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This topic contains 408 replies, has 27 voices, and was last updated by  Warbodog 2 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #227949

    Ben Saunders

    Discuss this important question.

    #227950

    Pete Part Three

    No.

    #227951

    Dollar Pound

    what’s an iguana?

    #227962

    bloodteller

    according to the Red Dwarf RPG, rastafarian people.

    #227971

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    Did Holly survive his computer rashes?

    #227973

    quinn_drummer

    What does “smeg” mean?

    #227974

    Plastic Percy

    according to the Red Dwarf RPG, racist stereotypes.

    #227996

    flanl3

    Did Cat ever find out what game the skeletons were really playing?

    #227998

    Dollar Pound

    what’s a worm do?

    #227999

    Warbodog

    What “things?”

    #228000

    Ben Saunders

    Have you quite finished being strange?

    #228003

    Pete Part Three

    Why is Back to Earth?

    #228004

    Ridley

    Did Cat ever find his singing tie-pin?

    #228005

    quinn_drummer

    Would you like some toast?

    #228006

    Dollar Pound

    does it do boob jobs?

    #228017

    Pete Part Three

    Would you like some seed?

    #228018

    quinn_drummer

    But why male models?

    #228019

    quinn_drummer

    Shit … wrong forum!

    #228041

    Dollar Pound

    and doing jigsaws??

    #228042

    Ben Saunders

    Aliens used our big roll?

    #228054

    bloodteller

    so what is it?

    #228055

    clem

    And what the hell’s happened to my teeth!?

    #228056

    Pete Part Three

    And do you know what happens when a dinosaur eats cow vindaloo, and then eats two and a half tons of mint-choc ice cream, followed by four hundred crates of orange ice-pops, and swills the whole thing down with two thousand gallons of a popular fizzy drink? Do you know what happens?

    #228057

    Dollar Pound

    and you are?

    #228058

    bloodteller

    anyone fancy a game of charades using just your nose, or is this a bad time?

    #228059

    Stephen Abootman

    And where’s my Himalayan sea salt?

    #228060

    clem

    Is Paris a kind of plaster?

    #228062

    flanl3

    Are you trying to tell me everybody’s dead?

    #228063

    Dave

    Is this still the opening line?

    #228065

    quinn_drummer

    Is this a 14b? Does it look even remotely like a 14b?

    #228066

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    Why did no-one mention this before?

    #228067

    Pete Part Three

    See you in ten minutes?

    #228068

    Pete Part Three

    See you in ten minutes?.

    #228070

    Pete Part Three

    See you in ten minutes?…

    #228071

    Jimboid

    Does mouse shit roll?

    #228072

    quinn_drummer

    Have you ever been hit over the head with a welding mallet?

    #228074

    bloodteller

    would you let a garbage truck driver drive YOUR rolls royce?

    #228078

    quinn_drummer

    What is it?

    Now, you might be thinking this is an obvious one and something of a low hanging fruit, however it is in fact a different black number with completely different gold spangles …. I mean, it’s lacking the “so” therefore it’s from Stasis Leak not White Hole.

    #228079

    clem

    Could you spot him in a parade?

    #228081

    Hamish

    What do you mean, you “killed him, cha-cha-cha?!”

    #228082

    quinn_drummer

    What’s the square root of 2049?

    #228083

    clem

    Can I breathe?

    #228085

    Dave

    Have you ever heard of an animal called the Iranian jerd?

    #228086

    bloodteller

    so what happened to the Despair quid?

    #228087

    quinn_drummer

    He doesn’t want me long johns does he?

    #228088

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    What’s in it for him smashing up the medical unit?

    #228089

    quinn_drummer

    Your chair is screwed down, isn’t it Kryten?

    #228090

    flanl3

    Did Todhunter ever actually, in Lister’s terms, “get down”?

    #228091

    Warbodog

    Does Birdman also really like instant custard?

    #228092

    Dave

    Have you done my leg yet?

    #228097

    Ben Saunders

    So that thing’s spewing time back into the universe?

    #228100

    flanl3

    Would you mind blowing into this criticizer for me?

    #228106

    Hamish

    Is that you mother?

    #228107

    Dave

    I said what?

    #228108

    Ridley

    How can we chaaange what’s happening?

    #228110

    Pete Part Three

    Bonvolu alsendi la pordiston?

    #228111

    clem

    Where’s the bright side?

    #228112

    quinn_drummer

    Am I still me? In fact who is eating this chicken? What the hell is going on?

    #228113

    Dave

    Can I smell perfume?

    #228114

    Flap Jack

    The Theory of Relativity is… what is the Theory of Relativity?

    #228116

    quinn_drummer

    Cat! What are you dooooooing?

    #228117

    Dave

    How do I get two babies?

    #228118

    Flap Jack

    What, you mean like persuade Dustin Hoffman not to make Ishtar?

    #228119

    Dave

    Didn’t they get to number six with ‘Baby I Want Your Love Thing’?

    #228121

    International Debris

    I mean, what the smeg does “Howdy doodly do” mean?

    #228122

    clem

    What do you want on your cornflakes, darlin’?

    #228123

    quinn_drummer

    Remember last Easter, twelve months ago to the day, the Polymorph?

    #228125

    Warbodog

    Flaw?

    #228126

    Dave

    Haven’t you ever travelled interstellar?

    #228127

    Ben Saunders

    And what the hell’s happened to my hair?

    #228129

    quinn_drummer

    You can tell all that just from a photograph?

    #228130

    Dave

    Vi parolas Espekanton, Kapitano Rimmer?

    #228132

    quinn_drummer

    Where’s the bomb?

    #228137

    By Jove its holmes

    That’s why we’re becoming so hopelessly outnumbered!

    #228139

    Dave

    Oh, you ruined it.

    #228142

    quinn_drummer

    Can one of the G&T team remove By Jove’s comment and we can just pretend this didn’t happen?

    Er, I mean …

    Are you a doctor?

    #228143

    bloodteller

    how is that a happy ending?

    #228145

    flanl3

    Where’s the cat?

    #228146

    quinn_drummer

    What cat?

    #228147

    Dave

    Shouldn’t you be in the greenhouse with the rest of the cantaloupes?

    #228148

    Stephen Abootman

    You call those triangular sandwiches?

    #228149

    Ben Saunders

    Do you have any conception of the penalty for describing a superior technician as a smeghead?

    #228152

    International Debris

    What do you want, the long or the short version?

    #228154

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    But I will still have control?

    #228156

    Jimboid

    You know who he married?..

    oop, me braces have just bust.

    #228157

    quinn_drummer

    What is the nearest moon to Earth?

    #228158

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    Sir, is it possible you made a mis-smelling?

    #228160

    Dave

    What is a spectrum? What is a red one? Why is it red?
    And why is it so frequently linked with quasars?

    What the hell is a quasar?

    #228161

    Jimboid

    Nothing else less to burn?

    #228162

    Dave

    That pays for the hat, now what about the insult?

    #228168

    Hamish

    I’m a totally ruthless amoral killing machine so why, in the name of all that’s putrid, don’t you believe I’m serious?

    #228170

    quinn_drummer

    You mean you’ve been playing the prat version of Rummer? For all this time? For four years?!

    #228172

    flanl3

    You monkeys eat off the floor? Ain’t you got no style or sophistication?

    #228173

    Dave

    I couldn’t buy it, then?

    #228175

    Hamish

    What d’you mean, “kind of?”

    #228176

    Ben Saunders

    Well it’s obvious what gets eaten last then, isn’t it?

    #228178

    quinn_drummer

    What about me old man what happens to meeeee?

    #228180

    Hamish

    Has anyone got a poppadom the size of Lake Michigan?

    #228182

    By Jove its holmes

    Why was quoting Lincoln from Meltdown, bad?

    #228183

    Dave

    Well, you can work it out, what’s the craft’s inertia rating?

    #228184

    By Jove its holmes

    I don’t know!

    #228186

    Warbodog

    Is something amiss?

    #228188

    quinn_drummer

    What does this mean? What does any of this mean?

    #228192

    si

    Would you put it back together when you’d finished?

    #228194

    Hamish

    > Why was quoting Lincoln from Meltdown, bad?

    No, it’s a question, all right? Are you ready?

    #228195

    Ben Saunders

    Stopping distances. You’re traveling half the speed of light, what is the stopping distance?

    #228197

    bloodteller

    you’re going to put these cigarettes back, aren’t you?

    #228201

    Plastic Percy

    mish?

    #228205

    clem

    Who’s the beautifully delicious, stunningly gorgeous computer?

    #228206

    Stephen Abootman

    Umm… has anybody seen my legs?

    #228208

    Dave

    How simple do you want this?

    #228210

    quinn_drummer

    YOU WANT KETCHUP?

    #228215

    clem

    Did someone just turn over two pages at once?

    #228216

    Jawscvmcdia

    The luck virus, maybe we can get out of this mess!

    #228221

    Dave

    Excuse me Voter Colonel, but is this some sort of test?

    #228223

    Jawscvmcdia

    You are the sunshine of my life. Ooooh. That’s why I’ll always be around.

    #228224

    Ben Saunders

    Is your name Seb P?

    #228225

    Warbodog

    Sprouts Mexicane?

    #228226

    quinn_drummer

    What things?

    #228227

    Dave

    Would it make any difference if it was… houmous?

    #228228

    Ben Saunders

    What. Is. Hap. Pening.

    #228229

    quinn_drummer

    I’m a what?!

    #228230

    International Debris

    Or was it the system?

    #228231

    Jawscvmcdia

    Welcome to the tank.

    #228233

    Pete Part Three

    When is the Blue Midget page going to be updated?

    #228238

    quinn_drummer

    You never learn do you?

    #228239

    Dave

    Oh, what is that fragrance? It smells divine.

    #228240

    quinn_drummer

    Can I get you anything, tea, coffee, packet of three?

    #228241

    flanl3

    Sex?

    #228244

    Dave

    The Series 4000 isn’t waterproof, is it?

    #228245

    quinn_drummer

    Cat man are you coming or are you going to sit around and preen yourself all day?

    #228246

    Pete Part Three

    What is a foaming twat?

    #228247

    Ben Saunders

    I was asleep, okay?

    #228249

    Plastic Percy

    Somebody save us, before I wet me kecks!

    #228250

    quinn_drummer

    Why have I got male sexual organs?

    #228254

    Dave

    Giving me my gauntlet back?

    #228256

    Hamish

    You walked across half the known world for eight lemons?

    #228257

    Stephen Abootman

    Aren’t you happy being a rock star? Is the constant demand of them groupies getting you down?

    #228261

    Pete Part Three

    You call this happiness? Surrounded by toadying lackeys and paid sycophants? Living with a love goddess, sex-bomb model megastar. You call this contentment? Y’know, I stand here now, and I look at the two of us, and I ask one simple question: who is the rich man? You, with your fifty-eight houses, your private island in the Bahamas, your multi-billion pound business empire, or me, with…with…with what I’ve got?

    It’s you; isn’t it?

    #228263

    quinn_drummer

    Ya ever seen the Flintstones?

    #228264

    Hamish

    Why do women always leave me for total smegheads? Why do they dump me for men who wear turtleneck sweaters and smoke a pipe?

    #228265

    Dave

    Have you seen the size of an egg? And you’ve seen the size of a chicken’s bum?

    #228266

    Pete Part Three

    But was it an accident?

    #228280

    Ben Saunders

    Can you see this?

    #228286

    quinn_drummer

    So am I right in thinking I could get a major nuclear explosion all over
    this suit?

    #228294

    si

    Yes, God?

    #228296

    Ben Saunders

    With a sheep and a cow?

    #228297

    Pete Part Three

    You are a stupid, square-headed, bald git, aren’t you, eh?

    #228298

    Dave

    Taiwan’s a bit Chinesey?

    #228300

    bloodteller

    Drambuie?

    #228303

    quinn_drummer

    Is there anything we can do, can we help?

    #228306

    International Debris

    You’ve been stuck here for three million years? What have you been doing?

    #228308

    Ben Saunders

    Three million years?! My baseball cards must be worth a fortune!

    #228310

    clem

    Do I have your permission to… poo myself, sir?

    #228311

    Jimboid

    Hermann Goering is “a bit dodgy”?

    #228314

    bloodteller

    why do they call you “Spudgun”?

    #228315

    Jimboid

    Is this a 14B? Does it look even remotely like a 14B?

    #228316

    Ben Saunders

    There are 169 people on this ship. You, Rimmer, are over one man. Why can’t you two get on?

    #228319

    Warbodog

    What’s happened Kryten why are you so big and why do I suddenly feel like a wrrrrrim toe?

    #228323

    quinn_drummer

    So, um, what’s all this gazpacho soup business? What’s it all about?

    #228330

    Dave

    I mean, you’re *dead* but you’re not *dead dead* because you’re still here, aren’t ya?

    #228331

    quinn_drummer

    But where do all the calculators go?

    #228332

    Jimboid

    God, I went out with a lot of nurses, didn’t I?

    #228333

    Dave

    Isn’t it obvious?

    #228335

    Ridley

    Nothing else less to burn?

    #228346

    Hamish

    You mean I’m going to die!?

    #228347

    quinn_drummer

    Have you still got those Chinese worry balls sir?

    #228348

    Ben Saunders

    How longgggh?

    #228349

    Dave

    So with respect sir, what’s in it for the cat?

    #228361

    Paul Muller

    The fried eggs are wrong, the shit..the shitney?

    #228366

    Dave

    She was great, and I thought she was… What?

    #228370

    bloodteller

    you come anywhere near me buddy, and you’ll be wearing them……green suits?

    #228373

    si

    Why can’t I tell you clearly?

    (Clearly)

    #228374

    Jawscvmcdia

    The only survivors were Dave Lister, who was in suspended animation during the disaster, and his pregnant cat who was safely sealed in the hold. Revived 3 million years later, Lister’s only companions are a life form… oh fuck.

    #228398

    Dave

    Have you been at the Marijuana Gin again?

    #228399

    Matt Damon

    Matt Damon

    #228400

    quinn_drummer

    Twice a day? That’s more than some people manage in a lifetime!

    #228402

    Dave

    Whoever heard of a wormskin rug?

    #228404

    Jawscvmcdia

    Latin? I didn’t even know the Romans built spaceships.

    #228412

    Flap Jack

    Well, I can’t say I’m totally shocked; you’ll bonk anything, won’t you, Lister?

    #228415

    quinn_drummer

    Who on earth was the fourth Marx brother?

    #228416

    Plastic Percy

    What we don’t want to know is where the sweets are kept.

    #228419

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    Was Albert Camus a goalkeeper or a philosopher? Was Albert Einstein a clerk in a patent office, or the greatest physicist who ever lived?

    #228429

    Ben Saunders

    Anybody got a burger? I haven’t eaten in 5 minutes.

    #228432

    quinn_drummer

    Are you smoking Lister, in the drive room?!

    #228435

    Ben Saunders

    Is that a cigarette you’re smoking?

    #228437

    quinn_drummer

    What kind of navigation office can’t tell left from right?

    #228465

    si

    Sorry, I’m English – Are you Bulgarians?

    #228468

    Hamish

    I’m “Father” outside college. Inside college, I’m “sir” or “Lecturer Rimmer”, understand?

    #228469

    Warbodog

    CAT: You mean this ship’s careening out of control through space with absolutely zero expertise at the helm?

    ANGUS DEAYTON: No change there, then.

    #228472

    Flap Jack

    Do you honestly think I’d put Kochanski’s disk in Kochanski’s box where any munchkin could find it?

    #228473

    Dave

    What do you want this time? A hand with your homework? Or do you want me to sew little nametags in your PE kit?

    #228476

    quinn_drummer

    What’s ‘appenin’ dudes?

    #228484

    Dave

    Gangrene? You think I might get gangrene?

    #228498

    clem

    What’s your problem, Agnew?

    #228499

    Dave

    If you had two people coming for a job, and one of them was dead, which one would you pick?

    #228504

    Hamish

    Hey Krytie, where’s my dinner at!?

    #228508

    flanl3

    YO KRAHTEH! WHEAH MAH DINNA AAAAYT?

    #228511

    Ben Saunders

    Why’s he a Sheriff in some old western?

    #228512

    Dave

    Where’s the Captain’s office?

    #228514

    flanl3

    Do you do the whole introduce yourself thing?

    #228515

    Ben Saunders

    So that thing’s spewing time back into the universe?

    #228516

    Hamish

    What time phenomena?

    #228518

    Dave

    The hundred years’ war?!

    #228519

    quinn_drummer

    Rock rock rock rock rock. You know what they got me doing?

    #228529

    International Debris

    What does ‘smeg’ mean?

    #228530

    Hamish

    Perhaps you’d like to explain to me why it is that every major battle in history has been won by the side with the shortest haircuts?

    #228533

    Ben Saunders

    You’re going to supper with some removal men and a group of people suffering from Parkinson’s Disease?

    #228534

    Dave

    And you know *why* we can’t hear anything?

    #228539

    Hamish

    You’re unhappy, aren’t you?

    #228545

    Ben Saunders

    Die? Do you think he’d write and tell you?

    #228550

    Jawscvmcdia

    Put it on your head, it makes your hair stand on end.

    #228553

    Warbodog

    Tot?

    #228560

    Warbodog

    Enig?

    #228564

    Dave

    Do you know what it is about Lister that really makes me want to puke?

    #228566

    Warbodog

    Pasta? Are you sick?

    #228575

    Katydid

    We’re talking enamel.

    #228582

    quinn_drummer

    SKATEBOARD! How old were you?

    #228594

    Hamish

    Wait a minute! How did they open the car door?

    #228595

    Flap Jack

    So, what, do you have other people round, give ’em a sherry, and invite them to watch you snuff it?

    #228596

    Dave

    What’s that poem?

    #228597

    si

    Where’s your loose leaf files?

    #228607

    Ben Saunders

    Big?!

    #228614

    Hamish

    We’re still in deep space, sir, only now we’re in deep space in the 15th century. Isn’t it wonderful?

    #228618

    Ben Saunders

    What was it Shakespeare said?

    #228620

    Warbodog

    Would you steal verruca cream from a man with no feet?

    #228687

    Hamish

    Have you seen a man who’s lost his luggage, about 5 foot 10, mousy hair?

    #228688

    Dave

    Pray, what do you call it?

    #228691

    Ridley

    Perhaps you woud like to join us on a turn round the forest and later have tea in Mr. Bingley’s gazebo?

    #228695

    Ben Saunders

    So let me get this straight. You want to fly on a magic carpet to see the king of the Potato People and plead with him for your freedom, and you’re telling me you’re all completely sane?

    #228698

    Warbodog

    What do I do now, dad?

    #228728

    Dave

    Me! Who did you think, Pat Boone?

    #228731

    Flap Jack

    So that’s it? What, we some kinda… red dwarf?

    #229042

    Jawscvmcdia

    A whole hog? Like it wasn’t hard enough getting a whole cow?

    #229043

    bloodteller

    sir, up ahead. the captain and the crew! should i program the ship to slow down so they can board?

    #229044

    Warbodog

    What’s dead and dead and dead all over?

    #229045

    Flap Jack

    Why did you say that name? Mr. Gazpacho?! Why did you say that name? WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?!

    #229048

    Hamish

    What – so he’s just some old bum who pushes around a pram full of string?

    #229078

    Jimboid

    Oh, have we got a video?

    #229079

    quinn_drummer

    You didn’t think this was about getting out of here did you?

    #229082

    Flap Jack

    So you mean nothing’s been real since then? Blue Midget? The Ground Controller? None of that was real? You mean after all this, I still haven’t got a date??

    #229084

    quinn_drummer

    You’re travelling twice the speed of light, what is the stopping distance?

    #229085

    Ben Saunders

    And the thinking time?

    #229086

    Dave

    Plead you do how?

    #229087

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    Call me paranoid, but you don’t think they were these Psiren dude things, do you?

    #229088

    quinn_drummer

    What d’ya think of Betty?

    #229089

    bloodteller

    You haven’t been to the medibay to get this virus off, have you?

    #229090

    quinn_drummer

    Would you like to join me, Mr Rimmer?!!

    #229094

    Hamish

    A Fallopian tube is a musical instrument, true or false? True?

    #229097

    Warbodog

    You’ve got no magnificence in your soul, have you, Rimmer?

    #229104

    Pete Part Three

    Why red?

    #229111

    Ben Saunders

    What’s going down in groove town then?

    #229112

    Hamish

    What do you think I am, a holiday villa in the Algarve?

    #229113

    Dave

    You’d risk your lives for me?

    #229115

    Warbodog

    That’s as well as maybe, but have you seen this? ..|..

    #229117

    Flap Jack

    What are you gonna do, leave a horse’s head made out of marzipan in my bed?

    #229118

    Warbodog

    This is fun, are you mad?

    #229119

    Ben Saunders

    But how’d’ya do that, Hol?

    #229122

    Dave

    But how’d’ya do that, Hol?

    #229124

    Jawscvmcdia

    I could have invented a new theory of quantum mechanics instead of saying that, it’s just not right.

    #229146

    Hamish

    You never learn, do you?

    #229251

    Dave

    What is this, cabaret? Entertainment while you eat?

    #229252

    Pete Part Three

    Would you watch a Red Dwarf cartoon?

    #229296

    Dave

    How can the same smeg happen to the same guy twice?

    #229299

    si

    Oh ay, we did, didn’t we?

    #229301

    quinn_drummer

    How did they open the car door?

    #229303

    Dave

    Where’d you get it, Titan?

    Don’t you realise that that thing could be carrying anything?

    Don’t you remember what happened on the Oregon with the rabbits?

    #229308

    Ben Paddon

    Well, you’d better find out, hadn’t you? It’s obviously beyond me, I’ve got more teeth than brain cells, remember?

    #229325

    Ben Saunders

    What are you rebelling against?

    #229327

    Dave

    But that was you sir, last week, don’t you remember?

    #229330

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    Remember Argyle Somerfield, the old movie star?

    #229332

    Dave

    Well, Sartre, we don’t like existentialists around here, and we certainly don’t like French philosophers poncing around in their black polo-necks filling everyone’s heads with their theories about the bleakness of existence and the absurdity of the cosmos, clear?

    #229337

    Warbodog

    What happened to him, his voice finally break?

    #229339

    Dave

    Didn’t it strike you as curious that Hitler didn’t really look very much like Hitler?

    #229340

    Jawscvmcdia

    I knew it didn’t smell right. Oh my god!

    #229350

    bloodteller

    Power Ketchup, get it?

    What’s to get?

    Power sauuuuuuuuce.

    #229353

    Ben Saunders

    You got that?

    #229368

    quinn_drummer

    What’s to stop us going back to the Gemini 12 and picking it up all over again?

    #229373

    Plastic Percy

    Let me think of a cogent paradigm…

    #229377

    Katydid

    And basically that’s the gag.

    #229379

    Dave

    Have you been trying to explain about our future selves again, sir?

    #229381

    Warbodog

    Now that I am gone, who will take my precious monkeys to be baptised?

    #229435

    Dave

    My god, are you going to take a flying leap?

    #229459

    quinn_drummer

    Gambling with BEGGs? You’ve been gambling with BEGGs?! Those garbage-munchers!

    #229474

    Ben Saunders

    What’s wrong with a couple hundred pairs of socks and some aftershave?

    #229487

    cwickham

    What, moves move?

    #229488

    Dave

    Was he Swedish?

    #229489

    Hamish

    What’s a lemon?

    #229490

    cwickham

    Is there a chance the track could bend?

    #229491

    Pete Part Three

    What about us brain-dead slobs?

    #229545

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    Were you sent here by the devil?

    #229547

    Dave

    What’s it called?

    #229557

    Ben Saunders

    What the hell are you doin’, Shirley?

    #229572

    cwickham

    What the hell are you doing with my money in your house, Fred?

    #229573

    Hamish

    Who keeps the metric system down?

    #229576

    Dave

    Can’t someone else do it?

    #229583

    cwickham

    Okay, Mr. Burns, what’s your first name?

    #229586

    Pete Part Three

    Remember the time he ate my goldfish, and you lied to me and said I never had any goldfish? Then why’d I have the bowl, Bart? Why did I have the bowl?

    #229588

    cwickham

    What’s the difference between Victor Meldrew and a chef who keeps dropping his pancakes?

    #229589

    Ben Saunders

    But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking?

    #229595

    Katydid

    ‘Tis a fine barn, but no pool.

    #229596

    Ben Saunders

    What if you were the unwitting target of a ninja vendetta, and he returns tonight to strangle you with his nunchuks?

    #229597

    Dave

    “Can I come in for a gloat?”

    #229598

    cwickham

    And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled?

    #229599

    Dave

    It’s good this, isn’t it? Even though we’re basically just listing questions from sitcoms.

    #229600

    Pete Part Three

    Do you want me to lapdance for you?

    #229601

    Dave

    H-how-how do you r-ride a horse?

    #229605

    cwickham

    In episode 2F09, when Itchy plays Scratchy’s skeleton like a xylophone, he strikes the same rib twice in succession yet he produces two clearly different tones. I mean, what are we, to believe that this is some sort of a magic xylophone or something?

    #229617

    Pete Part Three

    Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

    #229620

    Ben Saunders

    Was that place the sun?

    #229627

    Dave

    Rosewood, mahogany, teak?

    #229652

    cwickham

    I’ve been invited to give a lecture here, and unless you tell me in the next thirty seconds where I’m supposed to go, I’m going to take you outside and set fire to you! Understand?

    #229656

    clem

    What’s your favourite humming noise?

    #229657

    Hamish

    The way I see it, these days there’s a war on, right? And, ages ago, there wasn’t a war on, right? So, there must have been a moment when there not being a war on went away, right? And there being a war on came along. So, what I want to know is: How did we get from the one case of affairs to the other case of affairs?

    #229659

    Warbodog

    Hello, Norris McWhirter? What is the biggest leaf? ANSWER ME.

    #229660

    Ben Saunders

    What if our feet touch?

    #229661

    Katydid

    A dentist named Crentist?

    #229662

    Katydid

    Excuse me, that’s not actually the right wording.

    Oh for a really world class edit button.

    #229664

    Dave

    Watercolours, or…?

    #229665

    clem

    Who are 3 people who’ve never been in my kitchen?

    #229666

    cwickham

    Okay, now would you say that that’s more than 50 yards away from Sting, his wife, or a member of his family?

    #229671

    Ben Paddon

    Dear Strong Bad, how do you type with boxing gloves on?

    #229673

    bloodteller

    What, and I’ll repeat that, What…is the square root of a hundred?

    #229675

    Dave

    These pretzels are making me thirsty?

    #229676

    Ben Saunders

    A fire at a Sea Parks?

    #229677

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    I hear you’re a racist now, Father. How’d you get interested in that type of thing?

    #229678

    Dave

    Just one question: is this cool? Is this cool? Is this cool? Is this cool? All these people: are they cool? Is this cool? This guy: cool, is he? This guy: is he cool? This woman: she cool? So what about me: do I look cool? Do I? Do I look cool, do I really look cool? Do I? Do I? DO I?

    #229680

    Pete Part Three

    And a robber button is…?

    #229681

    cwickham

    Hey, does anyone know a good place if you’re not dating a puma?

    #229682

    Hamish

    What “ism” ever robbed a bank? What “ism” ever mugged anybody? What “ism” ever put a gun to somebody’s head?

    #229684

    Warbodog

    So these are just rows and rows of books you don’t like? Do you spend a lot of time not reading them?

    #229685

    Ben Paddon

    No luck catching them killers, then?

    #229686

    Ben Saunders

    Do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once?

    #229687

    Pete Part Three

    You seriously don’t know ‘Banged Up Abroad’?

    #229688

    Dave

    Why has she got five legs?

    #229689

    Warbodog

    Are you sure you want to move this file to the Recycle Bin?

    #229690

    Pete Part Three

    What’s wrong with your face?

    #229691

    Dave

    Is this a piece of your brain?

    #229692

    Ben Paddon

    I’ll also be asking, which is the worst monger: fish, iron, rumour, or war?

    #229693

    Ben Saunders

    Do you take contactless?

    #229694

    Hamish

    One voter, 16,472 votes — a slight anomaly…?

    #229696

    Warbodog

    What’s an Iguanodon?

    #229698

    Dave

    So you had sex *before* you kissed?

    #229700

    Warbodog

    I’n’t milk brilliant?

    #229703

    Ben Saunders

    Have you tried running it via Dropbox?

    #229706

    Warbodog

    How is babby formed?

    #229708

    Ben Saunders

    Has anyone really been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

    #229709

    Warbodog

    Mr Mallett, Mr Mallett, can I go to the toilet?

    #229710

    Dave

    So, what you’re telling me, Percy, is that something you have never seen… is slightly less blue… than something else… you have never seen?

    #229711

    Pete Part Three

    Oh, please, tell me Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck?

    #229712

    Dave

    Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

    #229715

    Hamish

    Yeah, Brent. Why don’t you look Fitzy’s grandma in the eye and give her one good reason this town can’t build a great big dirty hoe?

    #229719

    cwickham

    What if something heavy fell on you? Like a church?

    #229720

    Dave

    Are you the Judean People’s Front?

    #229721

    Taiwan Tony

    Are you sure these aren’t Terry Scott’s winners?

    #229724

    Pete Part Three

    Why would we need two cups?

    #229729

    si

    Do you think I should lose the waistcoat?

    #229730

    Jawscvmcdia

    Zappady Zap Zap Double D.

    #229731

    Dave

    Are we the baddies?

    #229732

    Taiwan Tony

    Are you suggesting… eating my mother?

    #229733

    cwickham

    Hey, uh… What was the purpose of life, anyway?

    #229734

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    Is your wife a goer, eh?

    #229735

    Dave

    Quiet bat-people?

    #229736

    Warbodog

    Hello, hello? What’s going on? What’s all this shouting?

    #229737

    Pete Part Three

    Nancy? NANCY TAYLOR?

    #229738

    Dave

    Would you like an opal fruit?

    #229739

    Ben Saunders

    Listen, if someone who knew the future pointed out a child to you and told you that that child would grow up totally evil, to be a ruthless dictator who would destroy millions of lives, could you then kill that child?

    #229742

    Warbodog

    Can I have a P please, Bob?

    #229743

    cwickham

    Is she really going out with him? Is she really going to take him home tonight?

    #229744

    Taiwan Tony

    Would you care for a rat, or…?

    #229745

    Warbodog

    What’s the deal with lampshades? I mean, if it’s a lamp, why do you want shade?

    #229752

    Pete Part Three

    Everything’s bottoms, isn’t it?

    #229757

    Ben Saunders

    What about Gnasty Gnorc? I’m going after him!

    #229761

    cwickham

    You claim you once accidentally bought a horse, am I right?

    #229773

    Katydid

    Can I Borrow a Feeling?

    #229789

    clem

    What does a yellow light mean?

    #229790

    Dave

    WhitburyNewtownLeisureCentrehowmayIhelpyou?

    #229792

    cwickham

    Can you see an old dirty floorcloth by the door?

    #229804

    Warbodog

    Is this some kind of bust?

    #229820

    Taiwan Tony

    Fuzzy wuzzy was a woman?!

    #229839

    clem

    Is she saying “shit” or “ship”?

    #229840

    Ben Saunders

    What’s heavier, a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers?

    #229844

    Taiwan Tony

    CLARENCE BEEKS??!

    #229845

    clem

    What kind of a situation could possibly require either a radio-controlled wheelchair or a pair of joke arms?

    #229856

    Ridley

    Her?

    #229957

    Dave

    Where in shitting crikey is my nose?

    #229958

    Warbodog

    Do you dig graves?

    #229959

    Taiwan Tony

    Is Ted Danson?

    #229969

    bloodteller

    Does mouse shit roll?

    #230004

    Plastic Percy

    Who the fuck is Clive Warren?

    #230005

    cwickham

    It’s insoluble, to man or machine. W, h, y, question mark. Why?

    #230009

    Ben Saunders

    How many roads must a man walk down?

    #230010

    cwickham

    Where do broken hearts go?

    #230011

    Taiwan Tony

    Who the fuck are the Knutsens?

    #230023

    cwickham

    Is she really going out with him?

    #230029

    Dave

    Listen! Do you smell something?

    #230035

    Pete Part Three

    Somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it?

    #230036

    Taiwan Tony

    How do you know so much about swallows?

    #230051

    si

    Adeddyboddygoddabokoorandood?

    #230052

    Pete Part Three

    Who is Eric Cartman’s father?

    #230059

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    Tom Spotley? When?

    #230067

    Taiwan Tony

    Bob Helmets is dead?

    #230068

    Dave

    There’s a sale at Penney’s?!

    #230077

    Plastic Percy

    TRAMAMPOLINE!

    #230078

    Ben Saunders

    What are you, some kind of idiot?

    #230079

    cwickham

    The ring came off my pudding can!

    #230083

    Hamish

    Where’s my burrito?

    #230085

    Dave

    Jeremy’s… iron?

    #230086

    Warbodog

    Can we have Sild for dinner every night, mummy?

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