Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Did Lister ever find out what an iguana is?

Viewing 100 posts - 101 through 200 (of 409 total)
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  • #228184
    By Jove its holmes
    Participant

    I don’t know!

    #228186
    Warbodog
    Participant

    Is something amiss?

    #228188

    What does this mean? What does any of this mean?

    #228192
    si
    Participant

    Would you put it back together when you’d finished?

    #228194
    Hamish
    Participant

    > Why was quoting Lincoln from Meltdown, bad?

    No, it’s a question, all right? Are you ready?

    #228195
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    Stopping distances. You’re traveling half the speed of light, what is the stopping distance?

    #228197
    bloodteller
    Blocked

    you’re going to put these cigarettes back, aren’t you?

    #228201
    Plastic Percy
    Participant

    mish?

    #228205
    clem
    Participant

    Who’s the beautifully delicious, stunningly gorgeous computer?

    #228206
    Stephen Abootman
    Participant

    Umm… has anybody seen my legs?

    #228208
    Dave
    Participant

    How simple do you want this?

    #228210

    YOU WANT KETCHUP?

    #228215
    clem
    Participant

    Did someone just turn over two pages at once?

    #228216
    Jawscvmcdia
    Blocked

    The luck virus, maybe we can get out of this mess!

    #228221
    Dave
    Participant

    Excuse me Voter Colonel, but is this some sort of test?

    #228223
    Jawscvmcdia
    Blocked

    You are the sunshine of my life. Ooooh. That’s why I’ll always be around.

    #228224
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    Is your name Seb P?

    #228225
    Warbodog
    Participant

    Sprouts Mexicane?

    #228226

    What things?

    #228227
    Dave
    Participant

    Would it make any difference if it was… houmous?

    #228228
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    What. Is. Hap. Pening.

    #228229

    I’m a what?!

    #228230

    Or was it the system?

    #228231
    Jawscvmcdia
    Blocked

    Welcome to the tank.

    #228233
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    When is the Blue Midget page going to be updated?

    #228238

    You never learn do you?

    #228239
    Dave
    Participant

    Oh, what is that fragrance? It smells divine.

    #228240

    Can I get you anything, tea, coffee, packet of three?

    #228241
    flanl3
    Participant

    Sex?

    #228244
    Dave
    Participant

    The Series 4000 isn’t waterproof, is it?

    #228245

    Cat man are you coming or are you going to sit around and preen yourself all day?

    #228246
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    What is a foaming twat?

    #228247
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    I was asleep, okay?

    #228249
    Plastic Percy
    Participant

    Somebody save us, before I wet me kecks!

    #228250

    Why have I got male sexual organs?

    #228254
    Dave
    Participant

    Giving me my gauntlet back?

    #228256
    Hamish
    Participant

    You walked across half the known world for eight lemons?

    #228257
    Stephen Abootman
    Participant

    Aren’t you happy being a rock star? Is the constant demand of them groupies getting you down?

    #228261
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    You call this happiness? Surrounded by toadying lackeys and paid sycophants? Living with a love goddess, sex-bomb model megastar. You call this contentment? Y’know, I stand here now, and I look at the two of us, and I ask one simple question: who is the rich man? You, with your fifty-eight houses, your private island in the Bahamas, your multi-billion pound business empire, or me, with…with…with what I’ve got?

    It’s you; isn’t it?

    #228263

    Ya ever seen the Flintstones?

    #228264
    Hamish
    Participant

    Why do women always leave me for total smegheads? Why do they dump me for men who wear turtleneck sweaters and smoke a pipe?

    #228265
    Dave
    Participant

    Have you seen the size of an egg? And you’ve seen the size of a chicken’s bum?

    #228266
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    But was it an accident?

    #228280
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    Can you see this?

    #228286

    So am I right in thinking I could get a major nuclear explosion all over
    this suit?

    #228294
    si
    Participant

    Yes, God?

    #228296
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    With a sheep and a cow?

    #228297
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    You are a stupid, square-headed, bald git, aren’t you, eh?

    #228298
    Dave
    Participant

    Taiwan’s a bit Chinesey?

    #228300
    bloodteller
    Blocked

    Drambuie?

    #228303

    Is there anything we can do, can we help?

    #228306

    You’ve been stuck here for three million years? What have you been doing?

    #228308
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    Three million years?! My baseball cards must be worth a fortune!

    #228310
    clem
    Participant

    Do I have your permission to… poo myself, sir?

    #228311
    Jimboid
    Participant

    Hermann Goering is “a bit dodgy”?

    #228314
    bloodteller
    Blocked

    why do they call you “Spudgun”?

    #228315
    Jimboid
    Participant

    Is this a 14B? Does it look even remotely like a 14B?

    #228316
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    There are 169 people on this ship. You, Rimmer, are over one man. Why can’t you two get on?

    #228319
    Warbodog
    Participant

    What’s happened Kryten why are you so big and why do I suddenly feel like a wrrrrrim toe?

    #228323

    So, um, what’s all this gazpacho soup business? What’s it all about?

    #228330
    Dave
    Participant

    I mean, you’re *dead* but you’re not *dead dead* because you’re still here, aren’t ya?

    #228331

    But where do all the calculators go?

    #228332
    Jimboid
    Participant

    God, I went out with a lot of nurses, didn’t I?

    #228333
    Dave
    Participant

    Isn’t it obvious?

    #228335
    Ridley
    Participant

    Nothing else less to burn?

    #228346
    Hamish
    Participant

    You mean I’m going to die!?

    #228347

    Have you still got those Chinese worry balls sir?

    #228348
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    How longgggh?

    #228349
    Dave
    Participant

    So with respect sir, what’s in it for the cat?

    #228361
    Paul Muller
    Participant

    The fried eggs are wrong, the shit..the shitney?

    #228366
    Dave
    Participant

    She was great, and I thought she was… What?

    #228370
    bloodteller
    Blocked

    you come anywhere near me buddy, and you’ll be wearing them……green suits?

    #228373
    si
    Participant

    Why can’t I tell you clearly?

    (Clearly)

    #228374
    Jawscvmcdia
    Blocked

    The only survivors were Dave Lister, who was in suspended animation during the disaster, and his pregnant cat who was safely sealed in the hold. Revived 3 million years later, Lister’s only companions are a life form… oh fuck.

    #228398
    Dave
    Participant

    Have you been at the Marijuana Gin again?

    #228399
    Matt Damon
    Participant

    Matt Damon

    #228400

    Twice a day? That’s more than some people manage in a lifetime!

    #228402
    Dave
    Participant

    Whoever heard of a wormskin rug?

    #228404
    Jawscvmcdia
    Blocked

    Latin? I didn’t even know the Romans built spaceships.

    #228412
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Well, I can’t say I’m totally shocked; you’ll bonk anything, won’t you, Lister?

    #228415

    Who on earth was the fourth Marx brother?

    #228416
    Plastic Percy
    Participant

    What we don’t want to know is where the sweets are kept.

    #228419
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Was Albert Camus a goalkeeper or a philosopher? Was Albert Einstein a clerk in a patent office, or the greatest physicist who ever lived?

    #228429
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    Anybody got a burger? I haven’t eaten in 5 minutes.

    #228432

    Are you smoking Lister, in the drive room?!

    #228435
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    Is that a cigarette you’re smoking?

    #228437

    What kind of navigation office can’t tell left from right?

    #228465
    si
    Participant

    Sorry, I’m English – Are you Bulgarians?

    #228468
    Hamish
    Participant

    I’m “Father” outside college. Inside college, I’m “sir” or “Lecturer Rimmer”, understand?

    #228469
    Warbodog
    Participant

    CAT: You mean this ship’s careening out of control through space with absolutely zero expertise at the helm?

    ANGUS DEAYTON: No change there, then.

    #228472
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    Do you honestly think I’d put Kochanski’s disk in Kochanski’s box where any munchkin could find it?

    #228473
    Dave
    Participant

    What do you want this time? A hand with your homework? Or do you want me to sew little nametags in your PE kit?

    #228476

    What’s ‘appenin’ dudes?

    #228484
    Dave
    Participant

    Gangrene? You think I might get gangrene?

    #228498
    clem
    Participant

    What’s your problem, Agnew?

    #228499
    Dave
    Participant

    If you had two people coming for a job, and one of them was dead, which one would you pick?

    #228504
    Hamish
    Participant

    Hey Krytie, where’s my dinner at!?

    #228508
    flanl3
    Participant

    YO KRAHTEH! WHEAH MAH DINNA AAAAYT?

    #228511
    Ben Saunders
    Participant

    Why’s he a Sheriff in some old western?

    #228512
    Dave
    Participant

    Where’s the Captain’s office?

Viewing 100 posts - 101 through 200 (of 409 total)
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