Dirty Feed

[John Hoare]

HELLO HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE YOU ARE GREAT.

For anyone interested, it’s my blog’s fifth anniversary today, so I’ve written a little piece including my favourite posts over the years:

http://www.dirtyfeed.org/2015/01/dirty-feed-the-first-five-years/

For anyone not interested, I’ve heard about this really great Red Dwarf site, you should check it out:

http://www.ganymede.tv/

Topic

[John Hoare]

Funnily enough, while I was reading your blog I was thinking about how much I could hear your voice coming through and how distinctive and great to read it is.

I’m properly chuffed to read this. Thank you!

Latest piece is a bit worthy and not as much fun as comedy stuff I’m afraid:

http://www.dirtyfeed.org/2016/04/the-fragility-of-the-web/

I’ll get back to knob jokes shortly.

[Jonsmad]

Way back machine is one internet tool i learnt from you John, and in my music worlds its been vital, not least because we spent years building a web site then it went down after fans fell out about its future, those that carried on recovered years of work that would have otherwise been lost. Nice article the internet like life suffers from “things aint what they used to be”

[John Hoare]

Way back machine is one internet tool i learnt from you John, and in my music worlds its been vital, not least because we spent years building a web site then it went down after fans fell out about its future, those that carried on recovered years of work that would have otherwise been lost. Nice article the internet like life suffers from “things aint what they used to be”

This is excellent. There’s sadly bits of G&T which have fallen by the wayside which the Wayback Machine rescues. Although that’s due to my own incompetence rather than any falling out. Which makes it worse, really.

[John Hoare]

Anyway, latest Dirty Feed piece, linking together Who Framed Roger Rabbit and Monty Python:

http://www.dirtyfeed.org/2016/06/who-framed-michael-eisner/

[John Hoare]

For those that don’t follow me on Twitter – I’ve been posting lots of shorter entries on Dirty Feed this month as a little experiment, rather than one bigger article every month or so.

There’s no one piece that stands out, but if you like the little things I’m obsessed with, it might be worth scrolling down the front page and seeing if anything catches your eye.

[John Hoare]

The only article ever to spend time comparing Quatermass and Mrs Brown’s Boys:

http://www.dirtyfeed.org/2016/08/mammy-gets-the-snip/

[pfm]

I actually got a little emotional over Brendan’s speech about comedy at the end of the live episode…

[John Hoare]

An article which looks to be my usual kind of Twitter nonsense… and then turns rather odd about halfway through.

http://www.dirtyfeed.org/2016/08/a-guide-to-social-media/

[Pete Part Three]

Excellent. A sneak peek at Dave’s new commission: “John Hoare’s Modern Life is Shitish”.

[John Hoare]

Excellent. A sneak peek at Dave’s new commission: “John Hoare’s Modern Life is Shitish”.

aka the next five DwarfCasts.

[si]

Excellent. A sneak peek at Dave’s new commission: “John Hoare’s Modern Life is Shitish”.

Ish?

[Pete Tranter’s Sister]

John, excellent observations and commentaries as usual.

I must ask, do you have an interest in teletext? There’s a great resurgence in the medium, spearheaded by the aptly named Teefax, built around the Raspberry Pi and able to be viewed through a bog-standard CRT for that authentic don’t sit too close to the telly atmosphere.

[Ben Paddon]

Does John like Teletext?

Well, when my then-girlfriend and I crashed in John and Tanya’s front room during a stay in England some seven years ago (and very kind and gracious they were to have us for those nights, thanks again!) when we arrived they were, if memory serves, watching old Ceefax archives. Recreationally.

[Pete Tranter’s Sister]

Well there was a war on, you have to do something with your nights if you have flat feet.

[John Hoare]

Thanks for the kind words, everyone. Yes, I do have an interest in teletext – I used to be a BBC Micro nut, which included a teletext mode. I once considered doing a redesign of Dirty Feed based around the look of teletext, but dismissed it as more trouble than it was worth. Would have been fun, though…

[cwickham]

John, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen this page, but if you haven’t I’m sure it’d be of interest to you: http://simpsonsarchive.com/guides/dvdguide.html

[John Hoare]

John, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen this page, but if you haven’t I’m sure it’d be of interest to you: http://simpsonsarchive.com/guides/dvdguide.html

I clearly *should* have seen this, but hadn’t! Fantastic stuff, thank you.

[cwickham]

BTW: Although it’s not been updated in a few years, I contacted the guy running it a month or two ago with some information and he’s still around and hoping to bring it up to date at some point soon.

[Pete Tranter’s Sister]

It appears the next great race is on – To assemble the definitive Simpsons cuts.

[John Hoare]

How the famous Blockbusters title sequence was made:

http://www.dirtyfeed.org/2016/09/blade-runner-afternoons/

Bonus DWARF points: a certain “Peter C Tyler” is credited for the photos, and as lighting cameraman on the sequence!

[Pete Tranter’s Sister]

You are doing God’s work, seriously.

I was recently watching that very title sequence and thinking it how well it would still stand up if they were able to pull the original negs and transfer it to HD.

[Pete Tranter’s Sister]

While we’re at it, John, if you can procure a stereo version of Jeff Wayne’s ‘Good Morning Britain’ theme, I’m going to buy you several pints at DJ XIX.

I need it for… reasons.

Also, a full length Fourscore would be a charming addition as well.

[Ben Paddon]

Bonus DWARF points: a certain “Peter C Tyler” is credited for the photos, and as lighting cameraman on the sequence!

[Tanya Jones]

Ben; I believe it was actually our DVD with recreations of old ITV start-ups, but we’ve both watched Ceefax for fun before.

[Ben Paddon]

Oh yes, so it was! Not judging, by the way. I love it when people are passionate about niche aspects of stuff, and the way you and John love and scrutinize TV – all of it, not just the shows but scheduling, and transmission breaks, and Ceefax, and bumpers, and all that other stuff people don’t really think about – is one of my favorite things about you two, and one of the things I find so endearing about you both.

[Ian Symes]

I think they’re both tedious cunts.

[Kris Carter]

I think, EVERYBODY’S right, so just forget I said anything, okay?

[Pete Tranter’s Sister]

Being called an absolute fucking idiot by John was a genuine pleasure.

He plays the ball, not the man.

[John Hoare]

Right, now I’ve hopefully finished DYING, back to usual on Dirty Feed. Like picking apart documentaries from 2005, because reasons:

http://www.dirtyfeed.org/2016/10/name-something-documentary-makers-should-avoid/

[(deleted)]

Nice. Always thought that there’s another untold story somewhere in that “turkey” incident.

Weird reminder of late-90s Carlton though – I had to spend several hours in the lobby of Carlton in late 1997 as my dad was appearing in the audience of some pseudo-The-Time-The-Place shit or other (he’d jump through fire every time Action Time’s contestant bookers rang him on the offchance he could get his face on the TV), and as there was a free hotel and chauffeured transport provided I’d been able to go as a +1, but it emerged that I wasn’t allowed in the studio audience. Anyway, an exhausting 3-4 hours sat in Carlton’s lobby without a book or even a screen of the studio feed to look at – the atmosphere in that fucking place still gives me the creeps now. People looking like death, people shouting and stressing out – not for one second did I feel safe and I couldn’t wait to get out of the shithole. Even now if I ever see the endcap I get the shivers.

It occurs to me now that it’s very possible David Cameron was sat elsewhere in the building. And a lot of things suddenly make sense.

[John Hoare]

Yeah, I always feel there’s a few gaps about the incident which I’m really tempted to attempt to fill in, but may be distasteful to do so.

Fucking Carlton. They ruined my beloved Central. I’m still genuinely bitter about it. I honestly believe if Central had been the ones to team up with Granada and take over the ITV network, television would have been a lot better off. Not perfect, not some imagined glory days… but better than we got.

[John Hoare]

For anyone who wants a long self-indulgent rambling blogpost self-analysising Dirty Feed until it retains no joy or magic whatsoever:

http://www.dirtyfeed.org/2016/11/independent-blogs/

For anyone who wants something more interesting: I hear if you type “boobies” or “big willies” into Google you get some great sites, but I’ve not tried it myself.

[John Hoare]

Hi-de-Hi!’s recent BBC Two broadcast of Series 1, compared to the 2003 DVD release:

http://www.dirtyfeed.org/2016/11/hi-de-hi-edits-2/

[John Hoare]

I’ve been writing various things over the past few weeks, but linking to every single thing in this thread would be tedious for everyone concerned, so I try to mainly keep it to TV-related articles in here.

Some of you might be interested in my latest internet archeology piece, though:

http://www.dirtyfeed.org/2016/11/ghosts-of-internet-past/

[flanl3]

I must say, The Rad Project was an amazing read.

[John Hoare]

I must say, The Rad Project was an amazing read.

Hooray! Somebody else thinks so! I love it so much.

Meanwhile, if you’re reading this on Saturday night, it seems an appropriate time to look back on Bob Monkhouse dealing with the lottery going tits up – nearly 20 years ago to the day:

http://www.dirtyfeed.org/2016/12/network/

[Ben Paddon]

Fab post, John.

[John Hoare]

Cheers Ben. Much appreciated.

[Ben Paddon]

No, seriously. I haven’t said much else because I have nothing substantial to say, but I’ve now re-read it four times.

[John Hoare]

Oh, I wasn’t being sarcastic, promise! I’m really glad you liked it!

I had to write that one in a rush when I realised it really needed to be published that Saturday, or not at all. Sometimes they turn out shit when I do that, so I’m glad it worked…

[John Hoare]

lol Hi-de-Hi! said fuck

http://www.dirtyfeed.org/2016/12/hi-de-hi-edits-3-filth-and-lewd-innuendo/

[cwickham]

John, if I was looking for an extremely obscure ITV television series from 1991 which (as far as I can tell) was never repeated, was definitely never even released on VHS, let alone DVD, and no off-air copies are known to exist… would you say there’s any chance whatsoever of it turning up?

[John Hoare]

I would say there’s always a chance. Even if it was just getting an episode or two.

[John Hoare]

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY. Here’s something on the Christmas episodes of George & Mildred, and how the final episode of the show calls the programme’s own bluff:

http://www.dirtyfeed.org/2016/12/a-george-mildred-christmas/

[John Hoare]

Best of Dirty Feed 2016, if you want to skip the dreck and just read the mildly interesting:

http://www.dirtyfeed.org/2017/01/dirty-feed-best-of-2016/

[John Hoare]

In defence of silly things:

http://www.dirtyfeed.org/2017/01/the-world-is-burning/

[Phobos And Deimos]

It was the bastards in power who told us they and their machinations are important in the first place.

Silly things are not silly, by any measure.

Never, ever let anything or anyone else corrupt or dilute what makes you happy.

[John Hoare]

The story behind unbroadcast Fox game show Our Little Genius… and my own brief dalliance with the FCC.

http://www.dirtyfeed.org/2017/01/our-little-genius/

[flanl3]

Lovely, but you might like to know that I’m fairly certain some dates which should be listed as 2010 are presented as 2009. Specifically, you claim that 7th January 2010 and 7th January 2009 are the same day, and a couple things like that.

But really, holy damn, that was a wild ride from start to finish.

[John Hoare]

I cannot *believe* I missed those. I checked it right through before publishing yesterday, and somehow they still managed to slip though. I’m an imbecile.

Just corrected them, and added a short note at the end of the piece. Thank you!

[Author]

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