Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[si]

OH SIR, THERE’S A CUNT IN YOUR JACKET!

Boris indulges in some cosplay.

[Dave]

I DIDN’T COME HERE LOOKING FOR TRIBBLES

Lister improvises a special Red Dwarf rap about how he isn’t interested in that Star Trek crap.

[Dave]

I DIDN’T COME HERE LOOKING FOR TREBLES

Lister improvises a special Red Dwarf rap about playing darts and how difficult he finds it to hit certain areas of the board.

[Dave]

I DIDN’T COME HERE LOOKING FOR RUBBLE

Lister improvises a special Red Dwarf rap about how he would go with Betty but be thinking of Wilma.

[Dave]

I DIDN’T COME HERE LOOKING FOR REBELS

Lister improvises a special Red Dwarf rap about his favourite Star Wars animated series.

[Dave]

I DIDN’T COME HERE LOOKING FOR GOEBBELS

Upon materialising on Waxworld, Lister improvises a special Red Dwarf rap about how bumping into so many members of the third reich was entirely accidental.

[Dave]

I DIDN’T COME HERE LOOKING FOR STUBBLE

Lister improvises a special Red Dwarf rap about forgetting to shave.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

THE BENDS

The entire crew of Red Dwarf is wiped out due to a horrific mass diving accident causing decompression sickness in everyone.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

THE BENS

Rock supergroup consisting of Ben Folds, Ben Kweller and Ben Lee beam aboard Red Dwarf and wipe the crew out. No further explanation is given.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

DEPENDS

An over supply of adult nappies inexplicably takes up all available space within the ship, crushing and suffocating the whole crew.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

OUT OF TIME AFTER TIME

The crew are visited by their future selves who have set up a small music retail store in 1980s because they have run out of 7inch copies of Cyndi Lauper’s classic ballard and they need new stock, which inexplicably they know the series VI crew to have scavenged from a derelict.

[Dave]

THE BEGGS

The crew of Red Dwarf all choke to death simultaneously. No further explanation required.

[Dave]

OUT OF OUT OF TIME

Captain Hollister bans all REM albums from the ship, with crewmates not even allowed to mention them by name.

This makes it very difficult for Rimmer to describe his self-loathing beast, being as it is a green monster.

[Offline]

JUSTINCE

Elastica make a guest appearance on the prison world

[Dave]

YOU ARE SPACE OPERA CRAZY

Rimmer reacts to Lister’s assertion that his favourite stretch of Star Wars is the opening act of Revenge of the Sith.

[Offline]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Dwarf_(2020_Series)

Doug reboots the show with younger actors locked into a six series and three film contract and aggresively syndicates it with first airing exclusivity on Disney+.

Norman whinges about it.

[Dave]

YOU ARE ACE CRAZY

Lister decorates the bunkroom with posters of Sophie Aldred.

[Dave]

YOU ARE RACE CRAZY

Lister has a stern word with the vending machines about racism.

[Dave]

YOU ARE CRACE CRAZY

Lister becomes obsessed with The Guardian’s political sketchwriter John Crace.

[Jawscvmcdia (2)]

DANK MEMES IN THE RED

Rimmer meets a cute anime girl and immediately falls in love with her.

[peas_and_corn]

LISTER CHECKS HIS SHOES

Lister gets around to having that awkward chat with Cat about him shitting and cumming on things

[peas_and_corn]

A PEE ON TOAST

Queeg’s meal plan gets worse.

[Jawscvmcdia (2)]

[Dave]

It takes a lot to fuck up *this* thread.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

YOU’VE RUINED THIS JAWSCVMCDIA

Buried up to their heads in sand, forum members are aghast that a certain user was able of finally derail a 14 page thread of low quality episode title puns.

[Dave]

PACK IN THE THREAD

After Jawscvmcdia’s intervention in the ‘Idea For An Episode’ thread, everyone else ponders just giving up on the whole enterprise.

But that magical 7,000 figure is looming…

[Dave]

LUNA-TIC-Y 7,000

G&T forum members wonder what madness must have led them to create almost 7,000 ideas for an episode.

[Dave]

BURN THE SOLDIERS!

Rimmer suddenly takes on an extreme pacifist stance and insists that all members of the armed forces should be executed in the most, horrible horrible way.

[Dave]

BURN THE FOLDERS!

Rimmer asks to have his official record destroyed.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

AND I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT BOOKS WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER IS A CUTE AND SEXY ANIME GIRL

I really wish I wasn’t.

[Dave]

YOU ONLY READ JAPANESE COMICS BECAUSE YOU HAVE A THING FOR THAT CUTE AND SEXY ANIME GIRL

Another total lie! She’s not anime, she’s manga.

[By Jove its holmes]

I’m surprised they haven’t done an American Civil War episode. Cat would rapidly bamboozle the plantation owner who tried to whip him.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

DEFINITELY TOO LARGE

Lister is colouring in a sexy Japanese manga girl and comments on the size of her breasts.

[Dave]

WELL, I WOULD GO WITH KAORI – BUT I’D BE THINKING OF KEI

The opening scene of Backwards is redubbed to target fans of Japanese manga girls.

[By Jove its holmes]

IN THE NAME OF THE MOON, I WILL PUNISH YOU

Rimmer gets revenge for being tricked so they could escape the psi-moon.

[cwickham]

WELL, I WOULD GO WITH KENAN – BUT I’D BE THINKING OF KEL

Some pages of a Kenan and Kel slash fic accidentally end up in a Red Dwarf script.

[Dave]

I DIDN’T COME HERE LOOKING FOR TRIMBLE

Materialising in Northern Ireland in the late 90s, Lister improvises a special Red Dwarf rap about the fact that he isn’t there because he’s searching for the First Minister.

[Dave]

I DIDN’T COME HERE LOOKING FOR DIBBLE

Red Dwarf/Top Cat crossover in which Lister improvises a special Red Dwarf rap for the occasion.

[Dave]

I DIDN’T COME HERE LOOKING FOR TABBOULEH

Lister improvises some stupid fucking ditty about his aversion to salad.

[Dave]

I DIDN’T COME HERE LOOKING FOR MR TUMBLE

When Lister meets Justin Fletcher, he improvises a special Red Dwarf rap about… Oh, I can’t be bothered any more.

[Dave]

I DIDN’T COME HERE

Rimmer realises he never had sex with Lise Yates after all.

[Dave]

FUCKOFFCRACY

Lister reads the exit poll and is dismayed by the result.

[Dave]

LINK GOES HERE

Crossover with the Zelda videogames in which one of the main characters agrees to record guest segments for the next Smeg Ups tape.

[bloodteller]

IT’S TIME FOR OUT OF TIME

The Boys From The Dwarf are listening to Clock, and they just can’t stop! So much so that they are attacked by their future selves whilst listening to In The House

[Dave]

BANANA ‘N CRISP

Detectives Gary Banana and Oliver Crisp star in this spinoff about a historical investigation into exactly why a famous assassination attempt on Hitler failed. An investigation that will take them back to the 1940s and three million years into the future…

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BN-BN ‘N CRISP

Upon going through Hitler’s brief case, Lister discovers he used to enough a sandwich with 2 creamy chocolate filled biscuits and crisps as the filling.

[By Jove its holmes]

THIS IS GOING TO BE ABOUT WAFFLES, ISN’T IT?

Hattie Hayridge is drafted into being the sidekick on a cooking show.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

WOULD ANYONE LIKE ANY VOTES

Talkie toaster sells fake postal voting cards to unscrupulous crew members who wish to help fraudulently win an election for ship president.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

WOULD ANYONE LIKE ANY GOATS

Upon arriving back on Earth, as Lister sets about setting up his farm on Fiji with sheeps, a cow and horses, Talkie tries to pursade him he should have a goat or two too.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY ROACH

Talkie toaster develops a cannabis habbit, chilling him the fuck our to the relief of the crew.

[Author]

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