Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[cwickham]

FEARLESSANDRA

Taylor Swift song about predicting the future.

[cwickham]

EPIPHANYDEME

Taylor Swift song about how to defeat an intelligent virus.

[cwickham]

STOKE IT OFF

Taylor Swift song about becoming the new Ace Rimmer.

[cwickham]

OUT OF THE WOODS OF TIME

Taylor Swift song about meeting your evil future self.

[cwickham]

SO IT ECHOES

Taylor Swift song about seeing visions from the future.

[cwickham]

WAITING FOR FALSE GOD

Taylor Swift song about being the god of the cat people.

[cwickham]

THANKS FOR THE LOVE STORY

Taylor Swift song about having false memories of a past relationship implanted in your mind.

[Dave]

CRYING TIME

Gordon Kennedy tearfully waves goodbye to page 105.

[Dave]

CALL TO ACTION WE’RE ON PAGE 106

Etc.

[cwickham]

22

Taylor Swift song about the page we’d have just started under the old number of posts per page.

[Warbodog]

STAND BY FOR CALL TO ACTION

Crossover between Stingray and a Red Dwarf fansite theme’s automatic update. Anything can happen in the next half hour, although disappointingly nothing does.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

ME22

New title for Officer Rimmer to appear on some fancy new format in the future.

[cwickham]

THE INQUISITORY OF US

Taylor Swift song about the judgement of the Inquisitor.

[cwickham]

THE INQUISITION

Due to a one-letter typo, BBC Two accidentally shows the last episode of Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons instead of the scheduled episode of Red Dwarf.

[cwickham]

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITOR

The part of The Inquisitor is inexplicably recast to Javier Bardem.

[Warbodog]

HE EVOLVED FROM CTAS, HIS ANCESTORS WERE CTAS, HE’S DESCENDED FROM CTAS, HE IS A CTA

Ganymede & Titan’s embarrassing theme update blunder gets an origin story.

[cwickham]

CTA

The DNA machine comes back, and turns Lister into a stylesheet error.

[cwickham]

NO BODYSNATCHER, NO CRIME

Taylor Swift song featuring HAIM about the cancellation of an episode from Series 1 of Red Dwarf.

[Jenuall]

THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE! IT CANNOT BE!

G&T visitor can’t believe that this many regulars appear to be massive Taylor Swift fans

[Dave]

WE DON’T EXIST HERE ANY MORE

The Inquisitor judges the Call To Action box to have been unworthy of the gift of life.

[Warbodog]

THE CALL TO ACTION BOX IS BURIED IN THIS GRAVE

The Wayback Machine takes a snapshot of Ganymede & Titan over the infamous weekend of 8-9 May 2021.

[Dave]

IT’S A DRAWBRIDGE POD

Red Dwarf receives a pod full of fixtures and fittings to convert it into a medieval castle.

[Dave]

IT’S A MARR-BINGE POD

Red Dwarf receives a pod full of every episode of the Andrew Marr show, which the crew watch endlessly, never quenching their insatiable thirst for pompous self-important Sunday-morning political interviews.

[Dave]

IT’S A LAMARR-WHINGE POD

Rimmer records a podcast dissecting every moment from Shooting Stars in which they made fun of Mark Lamarr and he was grumpy about it.

[Warbodog]

HE’S A BIT LIKE CALL TO ACTION MAN IN THAT DEPARTMENT

Lister makes an obscure allusion about Kryten’s impotence.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

I WAS ABANDONED IN A CALL TO ACTION POD UNDER A WEB PAGE

Lister reveals his parents digitised him and inserted him into the style sheet of a popular fan forum.

[Dave]

THANKS FOR THE CALL TO ACTION BUTTON

G&T members passive-aggressively berate the site design even once a minor non-issue has been resolved.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS CALL TO ACTION BUTTON. WAS IT ILLUMINATED?

Rimmer, upon reading about a rather exciting style sheet change on his favourite forum about himself, wants to know more about it.

[Warbodog]

DO NOTHING, PRESS NOTHING, GET KRYTEN

Lister overreacts when Cat prepares to click a dormant website button.

[Dave]

CALL² ACTION

Chaos ensues when Rimmer installs a second Call To Action button.

[Dave]

CALL TO REALITY

It turns out the Call To Action button was just a collective hallucination among G&T members.

[Dave]

CALL TO EARTH

The crew of Red Dwarf, upon realising that they are just characters in a TV show, log on to a fansite and are disappointed to find that its most prominent feature is a non-functional turquoise button.

[Dave]

OUT OF ACTION

The “call to action” button is disappointed when it meets its future self and discovers that it still doesn’t do anything at all.

[Dave]

CALL & ACTION

G&T mods go back in time by a few days to try and stop the Call To Action button from appearing, but in tinkering with the website layout they inadvertently create the button in the first place.

[cwickham]

MATHS IN THE RED PART EIGHTY-THREE

Lister takes Rimmer’s bronze swimming certificate (printed on an ordinary sheet of paper) and tears it into two pieces of equal size. He then stacks the two halves together and tears them in half, giving him four pieces. Then he stacks the four pieces together and tears them in half, giving him eight pieces, and so on until he’s done this 52 times. Approximately how high would the pile of paper Lister now has rise?

[Warbodog]

CALL ME TO ACTION

Unable to defeat a malicious turquoise banner, G&T mods can only weaken it by depleting its blue and green components, allowing the white to remain forever.

[Warbodog]

YOU LAUGHED, I SPENT SIX WEEKS IN CALL-TO-ACTION

An automatic update traps Lister in AR purgatory.

[Dave]

A SUPERLATIVE IDEA FOR AN EPISODE SIR, WITH ONLY TWO MINOR FLAWS

One, we don’t have a call to action button; and two, we don’t have a call to action button. Now I realise that technically speaking that’s only one flaw but I thought that it was such a big one that it was worth mentioning twice.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

I’VE NEVER SEEN ONE BEFORE, NO-ONE HAS, BUT I’M GUESSING IT’S A TURQUOISE BANNER

The crew find themselves confronted by a web banner spewing a functionless button onto their forum.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

CALL ME A BUTTON, I’LL BE BACK FOR ACTION

Ace Rimmer gets swept up in, and tongue tied over, the Call to Action button hype!

[Dave]

THERE MUST BE 40 CALL-TO-ACTION BUTTONS HERE

Rimmer is impressed by the action-catalysing options available to the Trojan’s captain.

[Jenuall]

ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE SIR? IT DOES MEAN CHANGING THE CALL TO ACTION BUTTON!

When a banner begins causing issues Kryten just wants to check that everyone is aware of the effort required in resolving the problem

[Jenuall]

SO WHAT IS IT?

The Cat still doesn’t really understand what was going on with the call to action button

[Jenuall]

SO YOU JUST STICK THE CALL TO ACTION ATTACHMENT ON THE END AND YOU CAN WHIP UP A FRENZIED INTERNET?

Lister wants to know more about Kryten’s latest groinal attachment

[Flap Jack]

MATHS IN THE RED PART EIGHTY-THREE

Lister takes Rimmer’s bronze swimming certificate (printed on an ordinary sheet of paper) and tears it into two pieces of equal size. He then stacks the two halves together and tears them in half, giving him four pieces. Then he stacks the four pieces together and tears them in half, giving him eight pieces, and so on until he’s done this 52 times. Approximately how high would the pile of paper Lister now has rise?

4.5 quadrillion sheets.

Assuming of course that the laws of reality actually permit him to do this.

[Dave]

CALL TO ACT

Doug Naylor struggles to direct a showboating Norman Lovett who would much rather just sit back and enjoy the endless minutes of audience applause that ensue whenever he shows up.

[Warbodog]

KEL TO ACTION

The Dave era announces another high-profile yet ominous comedy alumnus.

[cwickham]

BACK IN THE ORANGE SODA

Following the success of KEL TO ACTION, said comedy alumnus is made a permanent fixture and brings his former co-star with him.

[Pete Part Three]

KALLI TO ACTION

Ed Bye directs the first scene of Dimension Jump.

[Dave]

CALL TO WEIHNACHTEN

Red Christmas is translated into German.

[Author]

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