Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[Formica]

SLAG

The crew encounter the Simulant Liberation Association Galactic. Meanwhile, Holly invents a digital gun

[Dave]

GALS

The Boys from the Dwarf travel to Backwards Earth and discover to their shock that the objects of their sexist derision are just regular women.

[Moonlight]

SLAGHOLE

Something something foaming twat.

[Frank Smeghammer]

SLAGWAVE

Lister waves at someone across the road and it turns out to be your mum

[Dave]

CATPAIN HOLLISTER

Extended cut of The End in which Hollister gleefully details over the course of several minutes exactly how Frankenstein will be cut up and have tests run on her.

[cwickham]

HATPIN A COL, LISTER

Lister attacks Colin Sell armed with nothing but a hatpin.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

CAT PAL IN HOLE STIR

Cat finds a mouse in a hole in the wall and improbably makes friends with it, but a stir-crazy Kochanski, kept awake at night by the shuffling, tries to break into the hole and kill the mouse, forcing Cat to take drastic action to keep her from the mouse hole.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

TAP CALLIN’, HOIST ‘ER

Henry Caul, having been clandestinely surveilling the boys’ telephone conversations, breaks his silence to give them advice on moving a piano when they prove hopeless at the task.

[loadoftottnumb]

Capped in Hol List, er… 

The crew want to discuss why their wages haven’t been increasing in over 3 million years. The ships computer explains the wage limit is on one of his lists but he can’t remember which. 

[Dave]

HOT PAL CANNISTER

Deleted scene from The End in which a post-accident Lister still finds himself attracted to Kochanski even when she is just ashes in a container.

[Dave]

PANNA COTTA ALASTAIR

The actor who played Count Ludo in The Promised Land becomes addicted to a creamy vanilla dessert.

[Dave]

POT CAN HALITOSIS STARE

Lister’s bad breath gives away the secret that he has been smoking weed in the toilets, earning a steely gaze from Rimmer.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

PAC-A-NIT HILL STORE

Cat’s fleas start a packaway jacket store on top of a skin tag. The entire civilization tragically is destroyed when Cat picks the tag.

[Dave]

DESMONDS & ANGELS

The crew of the Red Dwarf once again activate the triplicator, this time accidentally aiming it in the direction of a Peckham barbershop. 

[Dave]

DEMONS & ANGLES

“Low” Rimmer returns and forces everyone to take a trigonometry exam.

[Dave]

DENOMOLOS & ANGELS

Bill & Ted/Red Dwarf crossover in which the triplicator results in the creation of the bad robot us-es and the good robot us-es.

[Frank Smeghammer]

DAMONS AND ANGELS

Guest star Matt Damon something something polymorph something slag

Meanwhile other things

[Unrumble]

DEMONS AND ANGEL

Fairly run-of-the-mill episode of the Buffy spin-off. 

[Dave]

DAEMONS & ANGELS

Rebranded omnibus edition of the His Dark Materials trilogy.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

THE DAEMONS & ANGELS

Something something Doctor Who

[Frank Smeghammer]

D-VONS AND ANGLES

Kryten is special guest referee on an episode of Monday Night Raw from 2001 as D-Von Dudley takes on Kurt Angle in a Hardcore match. Hilarity ensues as Kryten obsessively tidies away all the steel chairs and baseball bats as quickly as the Wrestlers can dig them out from under the ring.

Later in the night, Rimmer attempts to cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase

[cwickham]

LEMONS & ANGELS

Chris Barrie, Craig Charles, Danny John-Jules and Robert Llewellyn all play Jesus.

[Frank Smeghammer]

DEMONS & DEMONS & DEMONS & DEMONS & DEMONS & DEMONS & DEMONS & DEMONS & DEMONS & DEMONS & DEMONS & DEMONS & DEMONS & DEMONS & DEMONS

Dead meme Dark Rimmer reawakens for the first time since August to cause havoc. But was it an accident?

[Dave]

DES MOINES & LOS ANGELES

Ill-fated third attempt at Red Dwarf USA.

[si]

HE-MAN & ANGELS

Prince Adam moves in with student nurses.

[cwickham]

LEHMAN & ANGELS

Kryten tests the triplicator on the Earth’s global economy in 2008.

[Dave]

LEEMAN & ANGELS

Sequel to The Kipper And The Corpse detailing the deceased’s journey to the afterlife.

[cwickham]

LEE, MAN & ANGELS

Lee Mack is killed on the Isle of Man.

[Moonlight]

DEMONS & BAGELS

Talkie Toaster summons the devil.

[cwickham]

DEMONS & VANGELIS

Another composer is found for the show after Paul Farrer turned out to be such a twat.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

Wait, isn’t he dead?

[cwickham]

It’s three million years in the future, they can clone him or something.

[Moonlight]

DEMONS & BANGELS

All the old paintings on the tomb

They do the sand dance, don’t you know?

If they move too quick

(Oh-way-oh)

They’re falling down like a domino.

All the bazaar men by the Nile

They got the money on a bet

Gold crocodiles

(Oh-way-oh)

They snap their teeth on your cigarette!

[cwickham]

PASO: SPANISH DETECTIVE

Asso does a dance.

[cwickham]

RICO: SPANISH DETECTIVE

Asso commits crimes.

[cwickham]

UNO: SPANISH DETECTIVE

Asso plays card games.

[cwickham]

BINGO: SPANISH DETECTIVE

Asso plays a game of chance.

[cwickham]

WYRD CITY

Doug is inspired by Anglo-Saxon culture.

[cwickham]

BEARD CITY

Doug is inspired by facial hair.

[Dave]

AH, SO SPIN-IMAGE DEFECTIVE

Vic Reeves looks in vain for a camera hidden in a washing machine while recording Dizzy for Top Of The Pops, only to realise they aren’t going to be able to get the shot.

[cwickham]

AH SO DETECTIVE

Taiwan Tony receives a spin-off series where he solves mysteries that is the subject of a record number of complaints to Ofcom.

[cwickham]

TRUE DETECTIVE

American drama series with no connection to Red Dwarf whatsoever.

[cwickham]

TRURO DETECTIVE

Cornish drama series with no connection to Red Dwarf whatsoever.

[cwickham]

BLUE DETECTIVE

Lister tries to solve the mystery of why he dreamt about snogging Rimmer.

[cwickham]

GLUE DETECTIVE

Detective Asso gets stuck on a case.

[cwickham]

LOO DETECTIVE

Asso investigates why the toilet won’t flush.

[cwickham]

MOO DETECTIVE

Asso questions some cows.

[cwickham]

NEW DETECTIVE

Asso is replaced.

[cwickham]

POO DETECTIVE

Asso guest stars in Red Dwarf VIII.

[cwickham]

UNLUCKY FOR SOME

Accurate description of the ‘Idea for an episode’ thread at all times, really.

[Author]

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