You know the drill by now. Feast your eyes on the TOS Friday update, and once Dimension Jump is over we'll write something enormously cruel and frighteningly witty.

Oh, and what's that, you say? You'd like a little scoop from one of our agents in the field at DJ? Oh, alright then. Nothing there at the moment but the promise of stuff to come, but I think our earlier scoop has already got us pretty prepared for the form these "episodes" will take. Still, though - get speculatin'!

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We all want Dwarf t-shirts. I'm still desperate for a London Jets one, and one day, I may go down to a t-shirt shop and make one for myself. I don't see anything wrong with that, because it's not making me any money, and I know that I'd buy an official one if such a thing existed.

But making money from Cafe Press by selling unofficial merch? Fuck off. Hell, if they were making the shirts themselves, they'd still be exploiting someone else's creativity, but at least they'd be putting some effort in. But this is making money off Dwarf's popularity by putting no effort in whatsoever. Just... no.

And if you're going to do it, at least (a) get the font vaguely correct, and (b) learn how to spell "chameleonic".

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After much hinting, the designs for the 2007 Red Dwarf calendar are revealed. Now, the reason we've been crap at reporting on this up until now is because of our relaunch - but I must admit, I did have a slight doubt in my mind about the idea. I can't quite put into words what that doubt was... but the end result was that I was simply worried that a collection of movie poster parodies would look crap and embarrassing.

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