No comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Well, we promised a bumper update, and here it is – the size of the site has increased twentyfold. Yes, whilst Ian was over at mine we recorded three commentaries; for The End, Future Echoes, and Balance of Power. How extrodinarily self-indulgent. And I sound like a camp idiot.

Onto other stuff. Back In The Red reports a rumour that Craig Charles might be playing Brendan Fearon in a dramatisation of the story of Tony Martin – Brendan was the intruder who wasn’t shot, and went to prison. Big Blake have noticed that www.normanlovett.co.uk now says “Coming Soon!” rather than “Appearing Here Very Soon” – another delay, by the looks of it. Bah. At least in the meantime Norman has signed his own head. And The White Hole now has it’s Downloads section back up, including vastly reduced size versions of the two USA pilots. Hooray!

And finally, in case you hadn’t noticed, take a look at this picture as shown on the front page of the offical site. Looks like a grab from a deleted scene from Bodyswap. Excellent.

Ian’s Newsround – It’s The Final Countdown

Der-der-deeer-der. Diddle der-der-der. And so on. With three months and three days to go before the Series III DVD arrives, the official site have published a full listof extras. We knew damn near all of this before, but it still makes impressive reading. Three hours it’ll take us to get through all those. Three damn hours. Plus, there’s three hours’ worth of commentary to listen to, so that means we’ll all have to book 3rd November off work in order to get through it. (Personally speaking, I’ve already booked a fortnight off, just so I can concentrate on reporting it sufficiently).

Interesting to read that the trailers were “only archived by dedicated fans on VHS”. Does this indicate that the BBC got rid of them, and GNP had to take the footage from a fourteen-year-old off-air recording? If so, that’s pretty impressive. Hopefully, they’ve also got some of the original continuity announcements, which could be used as Easter Eggs. Of course, our ideal pair of secret Easter Eggs would be a set of continuity announcements and some footage direct from the rushes – The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide To The Galaxy DVD sets the precedent for this. Also, we’re hugely impressed by the phrase “mighty collection”, in reference to the stills gallery. Here’s hoping they’re all from the right series this time…

Also on the official site this week, some pictures of the Stamp Centre‘s bottlestoppers. Now, the Kryten one, which was available at Memorabilia is excellent, and the Starbug one also looks good. However, for some reason, The Stamp Centre have chosen to base the third design on that of a huge pencil. This is seriously getting on our tits now. Would someone please listen to the fans (not just us, we hasten to add; just look around some other fansites) – THE RE-MASTERED RED DWARF SHIP LOOKED HORRIBLE. WE DO NOT WANT IT TO APPEAR ON ANY MERCHANDISE, OR INDEED THE MOVIE. Once again, it’s time to dig out our Model Behaviour article. Let’s hope we won’t have to do that again, eh?

In other news, Tazzy has informed us that Craig Bierko, the steroid-pumping American version of Lister, is to star in Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star, a movie which is set to be released in America on 5th September. No word yet on a UK release, but we hope it won’t be too long. Craig was quite good in Red Dwarf USA, even though he didn’t suit the role at all. We’re quite keen to see him in something that has an adequate casting schedule, in order to see him at his full potential.

After somehow managing to update seven times in the last five days, we’re now going to have to leave you without any new G&T stuff until Sunday. I’m off to Nottingham to see John, so we should get a load of stuff done. If we manage to resist the urge to sit on our arses watching Red Dwarf non-stop all weekend, that is.

“Holly, put a trace on movie rumours…”

Right, here comes something for our Movie section that we mentioned ages ago; the Rumour Tracker. Expect it to be added to as fresh ones come in. Bear in mind that it only carries rumours that have circulated since G&T has been online; digging up old ones would be time-consuming, and almost certainly pointless. Madonna my arse. Get in contactif you spot any we haven’t seen.

Bad news on the laser etched Starbugs front. The lovely Tracey Brennan got in contact with us to say that she talked to The Stamp Centre at Memorabilia, and they aren’t yet for sale, despite being listed on the website. Apparently there are licensing problems. Grrrr. Let’s hope they’re sorted out soon; and we’ll let you know what happens, as we desperately want them ourselves…

Don’t forget to vote for Slashdot’s current poll: “Favorite Sci-Fi Curse?”. You’ll be delighted to know that Smeg is winning by a considerable margin. “what the smegging smeg is going on?” indeed. Meanwhile, all the July 2003 news articles have been archived; check them out if you haven’t visited for a bit, as we’ve been updating quite a lot recently. Ian’s newsround will follow later today.

And finally: IT. IS. HERE. The full, accurate, finalised Series III DVD Cover. A pure work of art.

Oh, what a lovely surprise!

What have we here? An unexpected update? Well, there’s a few bits and pieces to tell you about. Firstly, Natalie Rosen has informed us that repeats of the first series are on UK Gold, starting Friday 8th August at 11:50pm. Surely you all have it on DVD by now, but if you don’t, here’s another chance to see what you’re missing. And Norman F from NOTBBC‘s forums has inadvertently given us news in the form of this article about The Crouches. All we can do is agree with The Commission for Racial Equality: “It is a sign of how far British television still has to go that the BBC planning to run a sitcom based around a black family is in itself a matter of news interest.”

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Orange Crouchless Panties

“Married life comes under the spotlight in BBC ONE’s new late night comedy showcasing the best of black British talent. Brace yourself for The Crouches!” So says the BBC press release about the new Autumn season on BBC ONE. And in the Press Pack (1.32 MB, PDF) it has a section on The Crouches; the upcoming new sitcom with a certain Danny John-Jules in the cast. In case you can’t be arsed downloading it, the following info is given:

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Rob Grant does some fucking work

Or, rather, has been fucking working. With all the fuss about the upcoming movie and DVD releases, it’s easy to forget that Rob is trucking along doing his own completely-non-Dwarf-related things (although we haven’t forgotten that he did at one point promise a sequel to Backwards…) And that at the moment happens to be books. First off is Incompetence, slated for release on the 31st December. Thank Back In The Redfor reminding us all; it had been mentioned on various Dwarf sites a while back as Matt says, but everyone seemed to have forgotten about it. Including us. See BITR or Amazon for the synopsis; it sounds worryingly like an excuse for a load of pointless misguided PC-bashing, but surely Grant wouldn’t subject us to that?

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The Empire Strikes Back

Yes, the shite puns have returned! And it’s all in celebration of Series One of The Brittas Empire being released on DVD this week! I was hoping it would come earlier, but Royal Mail are INEPT, but nevertheless, I have written a (slightly late) review, and updated the Episode Guidewith the full guest cast for Series One.

As well as this, we’ve also got a guide to the Red Dwarf A-Z, as we were getting a tad bored of writing about Series I. Plus, this helps with our goal to have something about every single DVD extra!

In other news, The Red Dwarf Zone has updated with what they say is a new, larger picture of the Series III DVD Cover. However, the BBC logo is too far into the corner, when compared to Series I and II, the two-disc set logo is extraordinarily shabby, the ‘bonus material’ blurb is in the wrong font, the edges of the Rimmer/Lister picture are appallingly edited, the old BBFC logo is used (they changed to a new set at the beginning of this year) and a PG certificate has been given, despite Marooned being classified as a ’12’. Other than that, it looks fine. I would discredit it as a fake, but the version on the UK Shop has these same problems. I would guess that this pic is merely a larger version of this same early draft. The White Hole has also been updated, with some new content, some very bad news, and some excellent praise for us! Ta, Cappsy!

The next update will be on Sunday. This is due to two things: the final of Big Brother tomorow, and the Memorabilia fair on Saturday. Both John and I will be there, so expect a full report soon!

Actual Movie News (Updated)

No clever headline today – let’s get straight to the facts, as movie news has been preciously thin on the ground as of late. Friend of the website Karl Eisenhauer sent us a link to an article entitled Dwarf film in orbit, from the Herald Sun – which is Australia’s biggest-selling daily newspaper, apparently. In which case you’d think they’d have enough resources to be able to tell the difference between a Doug Naylor and a Dave Naylor. But no matter – the point is that that the movie may be shot in Queensland, according to the Pacific Film and Television Commission; indeed, they have confirmed that he has been scouting there for locations. Whoever he is. Was that Dick Naylor? Etc.

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Ian’s Newsround – Reminisces of a genius

What do you do when you’ve just made the second biggest selling BBC DVD of 2002? Why, you try and make sure the next batch are the biggest selling, of course! This is what GNP are doing right now, and once again, they’ve listened to the fans and are giving us exactly what we want. The lovely people at the official site have posted another DVD update – which is an excellent way of whetting our appetites while we wait for November 3rd. The extra which, for us, epitomises GNP’s policy of giving the fans what we want is Building A Better Universe– the tribute to Mel Bibby. When the tribute was announced, we were expecting a brief montage and a caption. A full-length feature, featuring memories and obituaries from his former colleagues, is more than we could have dreamed of.

Also included in the mammoth update-o-detail are the titles of the documentaries – All Change and Built to Last. I’m sure you’ll agree that these capture the goal of each series perfectly. The length of the documentaries has been shortened – they’ll now be 75-80 minutes in length, not 90. Apart from ruining our football analogy, this doesn’t matter at all. The documentaries are still huge, and all the deleted info will be included in the booklet. Following on from Play‘s revelation that the Series III musical featurette will be based on food, the Series IV theme has been announced as Lurve. Another chance to see Lister snogging various GELFs, set to Je T’aime, or something. Finally on the DVD-front this week, Backwards-Forwards, (which, incidentally, has been renamed twice), is to be seperated into a whopping twelves chapters. Good-oh.

The official site also carries an excellent interview with Chris Barrie this week, in preparation for Monday’s release of The Brittas Empire on DVD. Chris reveals how he was the joker on the set, how Fegen and Norris left and how he felt about the new writers. Also, the new Better Than Life is supposed to be out now, but I haven’t got my fucking copy yet. Bring back Nic Farey – he was never this late. Quite alarmingly, the front cover of BTL features Mike Tucker wearing friend of the website Karl Eisenhauer’s deerstalker. Gentlemen, we have created history.

In other news, we’ve updated the DVD and Movie FAQ, in response to yesterday’s news story. Our next update will be on Monday, and will feature, amongst other things, a bloody big argument. We at G&T command you to vote for Cameron, Scott and Steph to win Big Brother. We really hate potential-rapist Ray.