Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[Dave]

JUST PROGRAMMING IT NOW, MATEY BOY

Droid rot sets in for Kryten and he begins talking to a small bottle of bubble bath in the shape of a sailor.

[Dave]

ROB ‘E’ ROCKET PANTS

Series co-creator Rob Grant takes Ecstasy and is overcome by an urge to express his love physically.

[Dave]

RED CHRIS MASS

The actor who plays Rimmer is visibly embarassed when he turns up at the wrong church service.

[Pete Part Three]

THANKS FOR THE MEGA ‘E’

Rob sorts out some pills for the rest of the gang, and everyone is very enthusiastic in thanking him.

[Dave]

THE E

Rob and Doug never finish writing the pilot episode as they’re off their faces.

[cwickham]

THANKS FOLKLORE MEMORY

The surprise announcement of a new Taylor Swift album brings back memories of one of this thread’s most inexplicable running jokes.

[cwickham]

FOLKLORE ECHOES

Lister plays a Taylor Swift album really loudly, causing the sound to echo throughout the ship.

[Dave]

THE LAST KNIGHT

When Kryten is informed that he has 24 hours before he is replaced by a superior model, Lister decides to trick Hudzen-10 into leaving by telling him that Kryten was killed by a knight that escaped from the AR machine and so a replacement is no longer required. However, everyone insists that this would be immoral on absolute principle, and Hudzen probably wouldn’t believe it anyway.

[Dave]

C-AR-MILLE

When Kryten refuses to lie to Camille about not loving her on absolute principle, even to encourage her to leave with Hector, Lister resolves the situation by instead telling her that Kryten was sadly killed by a knight that escaped from the AR machine.

[Dave]

BACK TO A.R.TH

The crew hallucinate an alternate reality in which they were all killed by a knight that escaped from the AR machine.

[cwickham]

BACK TO EARTH: PART THE 1

Lister plays a Taylor Swift song which reminds him of losing Kochanski.

[cwickham]

CARDIGANARCHY

Kryten tasks the nanobots with recreating the music video for the Taylor Swift song “cardigan”.

[cwickham]

THE LAST GREAT TWENTICAN DYNASTY

The Dwarfers visit a parallel version of America where the only music that is legal is by Taylor Swift.

[Joe]

I’m starting to think these aren’t legitimate ideas for episodes.

[peas_and_corn]

SILVER SECURITY CERTIFICATE

While in the alternate dimension in Back To Earth, Lister tries to visit fan page Ganymede and Titan. However, Firefox doesn’t let him visit the page due to it having an unmatched security certificate so he just continues his journey

[Flap Jack]

SITEDOWN

After failing to access the extremely popular and beloved fansite Ganymede & Titan, Lister tries to visit Planet Smeg instead, but finds that he does not have permission to access the resource. He then tells the rest of the crew that the website was up, but that sadly a skutter escaped from G.A.G. and killed Katerina. Nobody doubts the truth of this, or wonders why Lister is currently wearing a skutter costume and holding a gun with “Kill Katerina (Pretend)” written on it.

[Dave]

ALL FORGET-Y SPAGHETTI?!?

When Chris Barrie watches Ouroboros Xtended and notices that the entire production team of Red Dwarf has forgotten to insert the setup for the reinstated punchline about how Lister eats spaghetti, he becomes visibly enraged.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BACK IN THE RATIO

A forum member bumps an old thread about aspect ratios.

[Dave]

LISTER RD-52 16:9

Lister tells a vending machine his favourite aspect ratio.

[tombow]

MEN BEHAVING KRYTE-LY

Gary and Tony fall into a time wormhole on the way back from the pub and end up on Mimas where they are picked up as vagrants and held on Dwarf’s prison deck, later being nano-reborn. Krytie TV is exactly the same only their shouts of “phwoar!” “Nice one” are now loudly heard above the crowd.

[Rubber]

BACK IN THE THREAD

Only realised The Promised Land existed a week or so ago and it prompted me to search out all my old posts in this thread from three years ago and I really was very, very, very funny.

[Joe]

BACK IN THE DREAD

An old poster returns to the forums and I have a bad feeling about this…

[peas_and_corn]

JUST THE WRONG FILE

A mixup causes a home video of Doug Naylor’s Christmas family reunion to be played instead of the scheduled episode

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

FLOORS AND CEILINGS

After installing a pre-cognition computer, Lister bullies his future self to learn how to build the horizontal parts of a room.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

CEMENT AND PLASTER

After visiting the Officer’s Quarters, Lister get sick and hallucinates two construction workers who teach him how to build a wall.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

PARALLEL LINES

Holly builds a Holly Hop Drive that takes the crew to a universe where Lister is obsessed with getting his walls exactly parallel to each other, whilst exclusively listening to a particular Blondie album.

[No]

I think a good idea for an episode is if they all visited https://unofficialreddwarfforum.com/
Because G&T shut their old forum down.

[peas_and_corn]

No they didn’t if they did this post wouldn’t exist. The official site’s forum was taken down

[No]

No they didn’t if they did this post wouldn’t exist. The official site’s forum was taken down

By g&t

[peas_and_corn]

I’d love to see how you think that happened

[No]

I’ve heard that https://unofficialreddwarfforum.com/ is the place to be for Red Dwarf chatter

[cwickham]

UNCONFIDENCE AND PARA-NO-IA

Somebody decides to plug their Red Dwarf forum on the most mindless thread on G&T, and inexplicably does so by claiming the very forum they’re currently posting on has been shut down.

[Dave]

SHITE HOLE

A poster on the G&T forum starts talking out of this, when they claim the very forum that they’re posting on doesn’t exist.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

I normally don’t break character to comment in this thread, but I have to just for this. He isn’t claiming G&T is shut down, he is claiming G&T shut down the TOS forum. Which is even more bizzar!

cough ahem where was I?

THE SLIME’S GOING HOME

After briefly interrupting proceedings, a new forum member is sent packing back to where they came from, much to the adulations of the rest of the members.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

THE LAST COMMENT

Jimbob-10 is sent to replace old annoyance Jawsmcdia but goes into a meltdown when he is told there is no such place as The Official Red Dwarf Forum, and promptly shuts down.

[Dave]

THANKS FORUM THE MEMORY

When G&T shuts down the TOS forum, it erases its own memory of having done so and buries the recording in the Idea For An Episode thread marked “to the memory of the memory of Thanks Forum The Memory”.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

G&T

A new forum member gives the admin a reason to ban him, so they take it.

[Dave]

BACK TO MIRTH

After an unpleasant interlude, the Idea For An Episode thread gets back to its usual silliness.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BACK TO GIRTH

Suddenly, threads about cast penis size don’t seem all that outrageous.

[Danny Stephenson]

CONSPIRACY AND PARANOIA

Wild baseless accusations are thrown about by sperms that shouldn’t have made it in an attempt to try and justify their existence.

It doesn’t work.

[Dave]

OUT OF SLIME

Production on Noel’s House Party is abruptly halted in the mid-1990s due to a shortage of liquid for the ‘gunk tank’. Edmonds therefore conceives an ambitious plan to go back in time and steal it from himself. However, he hops back slightly too far, and arrives bang in the middle of an episode of Telly Addicts, disappointing his younger self.

[Pete Part Three]

CRANK’S FORUM BEGGARY

A daft twat resorts to spamming G&T with advertisements for his crappy website in hope of attracting some visitors.

[cwickham]

OUT OF NINE

Lister sets up a service selling door numbers, but runs out of one particular number. The matter is resolved when he realises he can just put the sixes upside-down.

[cwickham]

OUT OF SEVEN OF NINE

Copyright-infringing episode which reveals the true identity of Lister’s birth mother.

[Dave]

OUTSIDE NUMBER NINE

Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton are about to call their lawyers, but then something happens that makes them laugh.

[cwickham]

EUB

DNA, but rewritten by Gavin Williamson.

[tombow]

AREN’T YOU A PANTHER WRIST?

The crew discover Red Dwarf’s secret ultimate purpose is to be the wrist section of a gigantic space version of the Panther Shurikenzord from Power Rangers. While exploring the rest of the huge mechanical beast, they find it has planet-destroying fire breath capabilities, but choose to deactivate them. “We’re not a frying panther wrist” explains Lister.

[tombow]

LUNAR CITY DEVON

The boys are overjoyed to find a reproduction of England’s famed “Jurassic Coast” on a pleasure moon, complete with fossil beaches, dinosaur museums, seafront amusements and farming theme park “The Big Sheep”.

[Rubber]

RIMMER WHIRLED

Rimmer casts a rueful eye back over his pre-death ballet career. Meanwhile, Cat has rabies and has to be destroyed.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

I AM PARKER KNOLL

Upon running into a pair of Rouge Simulants, Lister pretends to be an old arm chair to try and deflect The Simulants away from them.

[Author]

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