I like it when they say ‘smeg’.

A snivelly little update today, but a much needed boost to our DVD section. As part of our quest to cover every single extra in some way, we’ve written a guide to the Series I Smeg Ups. Just to reiterate past news, Crime Traveller was released today (I still don’t have my copy. Curse you, Play.com), and be sure to watch The Sitcom Story tonight, BBC ONE, 10:50pm. I think I’ve coped pretty well while John’s been away having constant sex with that Jones woman…

BoP – what a marvellous acronym.

Today, we’ve been hard at work in the Episodes section, and the Balance of Power stuff is now finished. We’ve now got Supporting Characters details, and a couple of Reviews. Thanks again to the excellently-named Curtis Threadgold for his contribution. Also, apologies to the difficult to spell Matt Drzymala, for spelling his name wrong yesterday. Well, at least that proves the epithet was correct. Don’t forget to watch The Sitcom Story tomorow – the BBC are going to acknowledge its finest comedy series ever. We’re not going to make the same mistake we made with Top Gear again…

Ian’s Newsround – G&T in foot-shooting incident

In yesterday’s official site update, they reported that the Red Dwarf Shop (UK) was open for business. We apologise for reporting this on Thursday, thus knackering up this newsround. This happened last week with the Brittas DVDs, and this sort of thing really can put a crimp in your update. Also on the official site is the news that Little Shop of Horrors, which featured a young Danny John-Jules, is out on DVD. Interestingly, it is stated that Mr. Flibble is on holiday in Australia. I’m sure you don’t need me to point out the relevance here, but I will anyway, as it makes me feel superior: that’s where the Movie is going to be filmed. Ooooh. Perhaps young Ellard is busying himself with that and the DVDs, and an interview every other week is a small price to pay, I’m sure you’ll agree.

In other news, as this is supposed to be a newsround, Crime Traveller II is out on DVD on Monday. It’s an utterly misleading title – there was only ever one series of Crime Traveller. This is merely the second set of episodes to be released. I’ve ordered my copy, and will be reviewing it when it arrives. Well, not straight away, obviously. I’m going to watch it first. It would be a pretty shit review otherwise. In the meantime, here’s the first review to whet your appetite.

In website news, Tanya Jones has sent me a list of spelling corrections for our recent updates. Tanya has the patience of a saint – not only does she read all the shite we upload, she’s shagging John as well! Although presumably, she doesn’t do these things at the same time. Also, I can exclusively reveal that the difficult to spell Matt Dryzmala is planning on relaunching Back in the Red at some point soon. Hopefully, it’ll last longer than three months this time. Good luck, Matt.

Bad References

Before the update, I just have to bring your attention to this on the Red Dwarf Shop (UK). It’s absolutely beautiful. I tend to moan when I think the merchandise is crap; it’s only fair to enthuse when something lovely is produced. It’s wonderful, and I’ll definitely be buying one. Or seven. Oh, and for any of you watching State Of Play on BBC ONE, did you notice the Producer was Hilary Bevan-Jones, who also produced Red Dwarf V? And Sunbury Pumphouse, the location which doubled for Justice World, was used on a sex education show shown on the Learning Zone on BBC TWO a couple of nights ago. I’m not sure which aspect of that anecdote is more worrying, though. Perhaps it’s the fact that I’d call it an “anecdote”.

Anyway, two quick updates for you today – both Red Dwarf References Lists (Book and TV) are online. Written by the prolific Annette McIntosh, they were last updated in 1996 – we plan to produce addendum documents (especially for the TV list, as it only covers up to Series VI), but that can wait until we have the PIP Addendum up and running. Incidentally, the lists aren’t fully HTMLized – it’s a bloody nightmare of a job, but I’ll try and sort it next week. I’m just left reeling at how comprehensive they are.

I expect the official site will be updated later today – Ian will report on this tomorrow. I’m off to have some employment of time in a profitless and non-practical way. Yay!

The Real and Actual Series III Cover

Odd. The Red Dwarf Shop UK was launched last Friday, but went unreported on the official site. Goodness knows why. The most exciting product there is, of course, the Series III DVD. They have a tiny, tiny picture of the cover, which features a picture of Lister and Rimmer from Maroonedon the front, and Hattie as Holly on the side. Interestingly, the writing on the logo on the site will be black; for some reason I’d imagined a white one. They also give the date of release – the 3rd November, precisely twelve months since Series I came out. I’ve already booked the day off college.

In site news, we’ve launched yet another section – all about The Brittas Empire. At the moment, the section consists of a rather nice Episode Guide, featuring the original Radio Times synopsi. Obviously, we don’t know as much about Brittas as we do about Red Dwarf, so we are appealing for Brittas fans everywhere to contact us, with additions, corrections, and anything else you might like to add.

As reported yesterday, Red Dwarf is featured on a BBC compilation called More Great Comedy Moments. This is clearly a technique specifically designed to make ME buy the DVD, and I have done. The clip is of Kryten learning to lie and swear in Camille, and it’s a good choice. I love that scene. Chris Barrie features in three clips, which explains his prescence on the cover. Aside from the Dwarf one, there’s a scene from The Brittas Empire (of Carole smashing up Brittas’s car in Back from the Dead) and a Blankety Blank spoof from Filthy, Rich and Catflap, where Chris plays an exasperated director. There are some good clips on the DVD, but why are they releasing compilations like this instead of bringing out the series in full? There’s a great Fry & Laurie sketch on there, but I’d rather see The Complete A Bit Of Fry & Laurie on the shelves.

And finally, everybody wish John a happy birthday for tomorow. Bless him.

Auntie’s Woofers

Bah. The BBC are FORCING us to purchase their latest ‘Greatest Comedy Moments’ collection, which was released on Monday (see how up to date we are?). They’ve teasingly placed a picture of Rimmer, c. Series I, on the front. According to Blackstar, the DVD features “Red Dwarf’s Kryten as he painfully tries to learn to lie”. A scene that doesn’t involve Rimmer, particularly not in his Series I uniform, there. Still, it’s not like the BBC to feature the wrong publicity photos on a DVD. (SATIRE) Unless, of course, there’s another RD clip. I’ll find out when I buy it, which will be when I get paid.

Meanwhile, Robert Llewellyn’s WomanWizard DVD arrived this morning, so I’ve written a review of that. Also included in the package was a little note from Rob, in which he reveals he is “presently planning a new DVD, to promote an even better software package called iSpin. The idea behind this product is that in an ever increasing world of confusion, we need help in developing rapid political opinions on any subject. iSpin will give you a one click opinion solution.” Sounds promising; Robert is officially a workaholic.

Oh, and I’ve finally done the Norman Lovett review. What a bastard I am.

Crime Traveller II

Here’s a few quick links to details of the Crime Traveller IIDVD (which contains the second half of the first and only series), which is to be released on the 26th May:

BBFC Entry – Sins of the Father
BBFC Entry – Death Minister
BBFC Entry – The Lottery Experiment
BBFC Entry – The Broken Crystal
Blackstar listing
Play listing

The extras just aren’t worth bothering with – biographies of Michael French, Chloe Annett, Sue Johnston, Paul Trussell, and creator Anthony Horowitz, episode synopsis, and the ultimate in pointlessness – a trailer for the Crime Traveller One DVD. Are you seriously telling me the BBC didn’t trail this series, and they couldn’t have dug up a couple of original broadcast ones? Anyway, we’ll have a review of this at some point – meanwhile, you can read our review of the first Crime Traveller DVD. Both releases are also avaliable on VHS.

In actual Dwarf news, Jonathan Capps has got in contact with us to mention that Red Dwarf will feature in The Sitcom Story (Dawn French’s series detailing the history of the sitcom), also on Monday 26th May, at 10:55pm on BBC ONE. Apparently, it will feature a new interview with Craig Charles, so it’ll be well worth watching. Many thanks to Jonathan for this, and we’ll bring you all a report on it when it’s broadcast.

Not a major update today – just a Scene Summary for Balance of Power. Ian will have his review of the Norman Lovett gig tomorrow, the bastard.

G&T messes up

Guess what was on yesterday? Something that we announced ages ago? Chris Barrie, driving the car of his dreams, on Top Gear? Something that not only did we forget to remind you lot that it was on, but completely forgot to watch ourselves? Gah. Anyway, the episode is repeated on UK Horizons in a few weeks – we’ll catch it then, and make sure we warn you lot about it as well. Thanks to Peter Naulls, aka Chocky, for the info. Expect a new section to be added to G&T next month, similar to the official site’s Dwarf Tracker, but also containing details of guest appearances on various shows by the cast. And whatever you do, don’t go back and see how we took the piss out of that website for mentioning Chris Berry, after our latest mistake. It’s too painful.

Onto today’s updates. The capsule for Balance of Power is now online. And an article has been added to the Movie section – Model Behaviour, possibly the dodgiest name for an article we’ve come up with, which is an opinion piece detailing our reaction to the revelation that the movie will use a varient of the Re-mastered version of Red Dwarf. Get in contact if you disagree – we’d like to know what you think, as that’s part of the point of being ridiculously opinionated and offensive.

More stuff tomorrow. Oh, and according to Ian, Norman Lovett is “a genius”. Expect his report in the next couple of days. He’s still a bastard.

“The best future echo is in fact the episode itself”

A very short update today, but a good one. Friend of the website Karl Eisenhauer has written two reviews for us – one on The End, and one for Future Echoes. They are excellent, and well worth a read.

Tomorrow’s update should be well worth a look; following the revelation that Movie will use a variation of the Re-mastered version of Red Dwarf, we take a look at how effective the model shots in Red Dwarf have been over the years. Plus, hopefully, the Balance of Power capsule, and (finally) another book review. We really do spoil you.

Ian’s Newsround – Fucking Horrid Models

I’m sorry, but I’m absolutely livid about this. Comet Miniatures have listed two Corgi models, of Red Dwarf and Starbug. Both are due in September 2003, and both are the ‘Movie Version’. The minis themselves aren’t bad – I’ve always wanted a little Starbug, and they’re only a fiver each. The problem here is that it seems that the Movie will use a new version of the ship – similar to the Re-Mastered version, but even flatter. It looks shite, frankly. They’ve even made the front scoop much shorter, so it resembles a giant pencil more than ever before. John and I were both thrilled when we read that physical model shots would be used in the movie, but we wrongly assumed this would mean a return to the ship of Series I-V, which was really good. But no – like Series VIII, Red Dwarf is going to look fucking ugly. FUME!

Meanwhile, over on the official site, (which, incidentally, is yet to acknowledge these models, or the planned Java game), Andrew Ellard has written an excellent article about the use of Time as a plot device in the series. It’s full of Andrew’s pet theories, and makes a cracking read. Deck 5 is clearly the best part of the official site – holding Time Hole and Down Time, as well as links to the Mr. Flibble and news archives. Marvellous. The main news on the official site is about the cast DVDs, The Brittas Empire and WomanWizard, the progress of which have been reported here this week. This proves that Ganymede & Titan is better that the official site. Actually, come to think of it, it proves fuck all. Oh well.

As John mentioned yesterday, I’m off to see Norman Lovett later. Yippee! Expect a full report in the coming week.