Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

NO TIMEWAVE THIS TIME

Whilst re-watching series XII of Red Dwarf, Sting skips over episode 3.

[Dave]

THANKS FOR MEMORY

After the success of ‘Cats’, Elaine Page writes to Andrew Lloyd Webber to express her gratitude for the eponymous hit song.

[Dave]

MANCS FOR DE EMMONY

In 1992, the receptionist in the building where Andy De Emmony’s office is located buzzes through to tell him there are two northern-sounding writers sitting in the waiting room to ask him about a potential directing gig for the sixth series of some sci-fi comedy she’s never heard of.

[By Jove its holmes]

The Rimsie’s They Are a Changin’

Rimmer finally says the other Dwarfers can go •••• themselves

[peas_and_corn]

MMMCORP

M-Corp decides to improve their public profile by making a corporate cover of the famous Hanson song

[desbug]

NO TIMEWAVE TOULOUSE

French town becomes inexplicably popular with Red Dwarf fans.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

WOKE ME A KIPPER

Ace demands his breakfast be properly attentive to and educated on contemporary social issues before he eats it

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

TIMEWAVE II: BEYOND A WOKE

A satirical look at a social issues relevent to young people gets out of hand and becomes a little problematic.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

WOKEQUISITOR

A forum user make it his take to travel through time and space demanding to know whether his favourite TV shows will be “woke”

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

WOKE HOLE

The crew plug a hole spewing political correctness into the universe.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BACK TO WOKING

A woke squid causes the crew to hullucinate their lives as social justice advocates in a small Surrey Town.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

CAN OF WOKE

After a bit of casual banter, Lister realises Cat is a virgin, but its ok. They acknowledge there nothing wrong with that and proceed without teasing him or making it an issue.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

WOKEMEN OF THE APOCOLYPSE

After Starbug is infected by a virus and the crew have to enter Kryten’s dreamscape to help him beat it, Gay Pride, Identity Politics, Feminism and Black Lives Matter ride into the town of OldWhiteManerado rid it of the pesky Sherriff Bigotry. This has the unfortunate effect of seeing the crew adopt alt-right populist characters to battle against the virus, and win.

[Dave]

IF YOU WANT FOOD, YOU HAVE TO WOKE

Queeg 500 comes up with a snappy way to describe what it is like to be employed to write for the Guardian.

[Dave]

SOME OLD WOKE

Robert Llewellyn adopts an ultra-PC persona on Twitter.

[Dave]

WOKE ADDS LIFE

The Nova 5 is sent on a mission to induce the supernova of 128 super giant stars in order to create a five-week-long ultra-PC message in the sky that is visible even in daylight.

[Veni]

WOKED

After their guitar duet, Lister realizes Hitler wasn’t such a bad guy and had some good ideas.

[Veni]

WOKE ME UP, BEFORE YOU GO-GO

The snowflakes of G&T are shook when the controversial joke in the Red Dwarf Special that was foretold involves Kryten forbidding Cat on Starbug due to new Space Corps regulations forbidding trans people, resulting in Cat left onboard Red Dwarf to burn alive as it crashes into a nearby sun.

[cwickham]

BACK IN THE FRED

New version of “Only the Good…” which resolves the cliffhanger by revealing Fred MacAulay turned up to save the day.

[Paul Muller]

FRED MACAULEY, YOUR EYES ARE LIKE TWO LIMPID POOLS OF LOVELINESS…

Whilst perusing cwickham’s stolen diary, Lister is amused to discover a romantic ode to a Scottish comedian.

[Paul Muller]

IT’S A NAME I MADE UP, MCCAUL-AY ACTUALLY

Rimmer attempts to communicate with the 3 million year old freeze dried carcass of a Scottish comedian, misinterpreting the writing on his pod due to a careless spelling error in the previous post.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

RED DWARF: SPOILERS

A fan gets irate when an episode of Red Dwarf is broadcast at its designated day and time, spoiling all its plot details.

[cwickham]

BACK IN THE SHRED

New version of “Only the Good…” which resolves the cliffhanger by revealing that Rimmer used a jar of Golden Shred marmalade to glue the disintegrating ship back together, as part of an ill-advised product placement deal with Robertson’s.

[Dave]

THE VIGQUISITOR

Sandi Toksvig survives until the end of time and, reasoning that there is no god, no afterlife, decides that the meaning of existence is to bake a worthwhile cake.

[cwickham]

I’M SORRY I HAVEN’T A CURE

Lister and Hitler sing the words of “Girlfriend in a Coma” to the tune of “Tiptoe Through the Tulips”.

[Dave]

THANKS FOR THE SKIPPERY

After returning from his quantum skippng adventure, Rimmer decides to cheer Lister up by implanting him with memories of sleeping with a giant rodent, copied from his alternate universe counterpart.

To the memory of the memory of Mr Rat.

[Dave]

BIG MAC MCDONALD’S

Doug insists on reviving the character of Captain Hollister for Red Dwarf Series XIV, which (for budgetary reasons) is entirely set in the ship’s branch of a particular fast food restaurant.

[Dave]

BIG MAC AND FRIES

Red Dwarf Series XIV, episode one: Captain Hollister is found in a stasis booth and, once revived, gorges himself on the ship’s entire supply of chips until he becomes enormous. Rimmer and Lister are therefore forced to take up full-time jobs at the ship’s McDonald’s to keep up with his appetites.

[Dave]

LESS MEAT ON THEM THAN A CHICKEN MCNUGGET

Red Dwarf Series XIV, episode two: in his new job, Rimmer gets a chance to test exactly what the meat content of a chicken (mc)nugget is.

[Dave]

QUARTER DOLLARPOUNDER

Red Dwarf Series XIV, episode three: Lister starts selling burgers for just $£0.25 after getting into a price war with Cat and Kryten’s new rival fast-food restaurant. Hollister remains their only customer.

[Dave]

HAPPY MEAL

Red Dwarf Series XIV, episode four: Kryten uses the DNA machine to allow a cardboard box containing chips, a cheeseburger and a cheap plastic toy to achieve sentience. It turns out to be unbearably chirpy, so they kill it.

[Dave]

MUCK FLURRY

Red Dwarf Series XIV, episode five: While cleaning out the latrines, Kryten accidentally connects the sewage pipe with the ship’s ice-cream machine. Hollister doesn’t notice.

[Dave]

SUPERSIZE ME²

Red Dwarf Series XIV, episode six: Kryten invents a growing ray that runs on Big Macs and makes the crew twenty feet tall. Meanwhile, yet another Rimmer doppelganger is created for some reason.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME FRIES WITH THAT

Talkie Toaster finds a new purpose in life when he takes up a part time job at the ships fast food outlet. Despite the crew being dead, sales plummet.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BURGER SWAP

Out of sheer boredom, Lister swaps the signature burgers in competing fast food chains aboard Red Dwarf.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

WAITING FOR RONALD

Lister discovers an old, lonely Cat Priest sitting in a McDonald’s aboard Red Dwarf. Having confused the passages of the ancient texts about fast food restraunts on Fiji for McDonalds, he awaits for who he believes to be the cat people’s true god, Ronald McDonald. This prompts Lister to put on a red wig and big shoes to give the Cat solace in his final moments.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

FISH! TODAY’S FISH IS FILLET O’ FISH, ENJOY YOUR MEAL.

Cat discovers that McDonald’s serves fish, so becomes a regular at the ships on board restaurant, leading to him rapidly gaining weight which in turn results in the episode veering off into an obesity crisis episode and Lister taunting Cat about his big droopy titties.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

APPLE PIERENS

The crew must make their way through an asteroid belt teaming with hostile life trying to tempt them down onto the asteroids with the promises of McDonald’s Apple Pies.

[clem]

GRIM ACE

The crew run into Ace Rimmer again but he isn’t his usual upbeat self. In fact he’s really gloomy and, for some reason, a big hairy purple monster.

[Dave]

I’M LOVIN’ IT

When Rimmer and Lister accidentally spill the sexual magnetism virus all over their McDonald’s uniforms, they discover that Hollister is hungry for more than just burgers.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

I’M NORMAN LOVIN’ IT

DVD extra to appear on the Red Dwarf XIV boxset, Norman Lovett reviews and rates all the McDonald’s menu.

[Dave]

MEGA MAC

Notorious prima donna Mac McDonald insists that everyone on the set of Red Dwarf XIV uses the titular nickname when addressing him, but Craig Charles and Chris Barrie misunderstand and think he is asking for one of the limited edition four-patty Big Macs that McDonald’s used to sell under the same name. So they make up a plate full of them but he doesn’t eat them and they go mouldy and eventually decompose into a runny purple liquid that is used to fill up the Chemical Plant Zone, thus giving fans the Red Dwarf/Sonic the Hedgehog crossover they’ve always dreamed of.

[cwickham]

MACCA

Reel of previously unknown test footage where Captain Hollister is played by one of the Beatles.

[cwickham]

MECCA

Early draft version of “The End” where Captain Hollister is a Muslim.

[cwickham]

MECH ARR

Early draft version of “Kryten” where the titular character talks like a pirate.

[Dave]

McOCRACY

When the crew of Red Dwarf are unable to decide who should manage the ship’s fast food restaurant, they decide to put it to a vote. Oh, and Cat now has to wear glasses or something.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

McELTDOW

New version of Meltdown where all the waxdroids are replaced with McDonalds characters

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

McQUISITOR

Ronald McDonald travels through time and space, removing anyone from history that hasn’t eaten enough Big Macs.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

McQUARANTINE

Lister, Rimmer and Cat get locked in a McDonalds after hours. They plead with Rimmer to see the King if the Burger people to let them out but he has to point out that that is the wrong global burger franchise

[Dave]

SMc ME A KIPPER

Red Dwarf’s branch of McDonald’s introduces a Filet O Kipper to appease Ace Rimmer.

[Author]

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