Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[Warbodog]

GRAV-STASIS

22nd century scientists invent a dungeon.

[Warbodog]

GAZ-TOP

CITV’s Gareth Jones guest stars as ringmaster of the Silly Circus, is it the next page yet.

[Dave]

GRAVESEND-POOL

Lister goes for a swim in Gravesend.

[Dave]

BACK IN THE AIGBURTH ARMS

Doug finally makes Series IX of Red Dwarf, in which the nanobots recreate the Aigburth Arms and all of its inhabitants. With hilarious consequences.

[Dave]

DEMONS AND AIGBURTH

The triplicator creates two copies of the Aigburth Arms – one a lovely welcoming old-fashioned pub, and the other one the Ouroboros version.

[Dave]

GUNMEN OF THE OLD CHOCOLATES

Struck down by a computer virus, Kryten becomes Bertie Bassett and faces down four of the most evil chocolates that everyone always leaves in the box: coffee, orange, liqueurs and those ones wrapped in foil that no-one really knows what they are.

[Dave]

GAME ON OF THE APOCALYPSE

Everyone is a bit disappointed when the “I told you not to talk” meme peters out so quickly.

[Dave]

BACK TO THE NEXT PAGE

Page 115 turns out to be a total-immersion video game, and we’re actually on page 116.

[Dave]

FUCK MY AIGBURTH ARMS WE’RE ON PAGE 116

Etc

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BALANCE OF POOL

After a frustrating afternoon setting up the new Grav-Pool table, the landlord of the Aigburth Arms gives up trying to align the grav-plates and just hangs it from he ceiling instead.

[cwickham]

24

Gripping real-time drama about the page we’d have just started under the old numbering system.

[cwickham]

POST COUNTS

G&T Admins call regular posters in the Idea For An Episode thread a bad word after discovering the thread is on track to reach 12,000 posts in a much quicker time than it went from 10,000 to 11,000.

[clem]

THE EGGBERT ARMS

The Dwarfers befriend a strange lifeform whose upper limbs appear to be nothing more than a pair of small wooden forks.

[Dave]

TAIWAN BILLIE

Billie Eilish materialises on board Red Dwarf to insist that recently-surfaced footage of her using a racial slur and speaking “a bit Chinesey” definitely isn’t racist.

[Dave]

BILLIE PIPER

Rose from Doctor Who turns up to fix the pipe that has been annoying Kochanski with squilurtle noises.

[Dave]

HILL BILLIES

Billies Eilish and Piper go and live on a hill near Niagara Falls and wait for a reverse-Starbug to show up so that they can steal its landing jets.

[Dave]

BILLIE HOLIDAY

Posters in the G&T Idea For An Episode thread decide to give the Billie memes a rest for a bit.

[Jenuall]

BILLIE GRANNY KILLER PIPER

Rose from Doctor Who shoots an old lady through her crocheted bobble hat

[cwickham]

FLIGHTY TV

Kryten hosts a completely unplanned and spontaneous TV channel.

[cwickham]

FLY TEA TV

Kryten eats rotting garbage live on air.

[cwickham]

HIGH TEA TV

Kryten broadcasts his early evening meal live.

[cwickham]

HAITI TV

Kryten broadcasts live from the Caribbean.

[Dave]

ONE KNIGHT. IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MORE.

When a knight escapes from the AR machine, a newly-emancipated Kryten insists that he wants another one.

[Dave]

ONE NIGHT. IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MOOR.

After Rimmer and Lister spend an entire evening staging famous Shakespeare plays like Romeo & Juliet, Macbeth, Hamlet and King Lear for a newly-emancipated Kryten, he insists that he wants Othello next.

[Jenuall]

ONE PINT, IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MORE

After being allowed to indulge himself during the events of The Last Day Kryten has developed an alcohol dependence issue

[Dave]

ONE SHITE. IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MORE.

When a newly-emancipated Kryten is turned into a human by the DNA machine and has a bowel movement, he immediately insists that he wants another one.

[Jenuall]

ONE KITE, IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MORE

A day out to the beach results in Kryten developing a desire for some multiple kite action

[Dave]

ONE BITE. IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MORE.

When the crew make him eat raw coffee, a newly-emancipated sheriff Kryten insists that he wants several mouthfuls.

[Dave]

ONE NIGHT. IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT FOUR.

After his death-day party, a newly-emancipated Kryten makes a fairly modest request for just a little more time.

[Jenuall]

ONE FIGHT, IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MORE

After engaging in the Siliconia mop battle with Lister for some reason, Kryten has developed a thirst for combat and demands a further bout

[Jenuall]

GESUNDHEIT! IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I SNOT MORE

The Armageddon virus has left Kryten with a nasty cold and sadly his existing hanky is not enough to contain the copious amounts of mucus he is producing

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

ONE RIGHT. IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MORE.

A new newly-emancipated Kryten joins in the process of drafting a human rights charter and believes several rights will need to be included.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BI-FOCAL SIGHT. IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MORE.

A new newly-emancipated Kryten turned human by a DNA machine complains about the lack of features in the eye sight function.

[clem]

ONE LIGHT. IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MORE.

Notorious prima donna Robert Llewellyn expresses his dissatisfaction with the redesigned Series VI Kryten costume, insisting there should be three LEDs on each shoulder.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

MY MAIDEN FLIGHT. IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MORE.

After new newly-emancipated Kryten crashes Starbug during his flight test, he bemoans the fact he has likely failed and won’t be allowed to fly again.

[Dave]

ONE NIGHT, ONE NIGHT! ONE NIGHT IN SILICON HEAVEN

A newly-emancipated Kryten joins M People.

[Dave]

ONE LIGHTBULB. IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MORE.

A newly-emancipated Kryten demands that he be allowed to change the bulb and move to red alert.

[Dave]

SKINTIGHT. IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MORE.

A newly-emancipated Kryten becomes part of Legion and insists that alongside a green lycra onesie he also wants a stupid shiny mask in the shape of an :-o face.

[Dave]

QUITE BRIGHT! IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MORE.

Lister reads his confidential personnel file and wishes that Hollister had been more complimentary.

[Dave]

MIGHTY LIGHT. IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MORE.

Rimmer gets ideas above his station after obtaining Diamond Light technology.

[cwickham]

ONE NIGHT ONLY. IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MORE.

Rimmer stages an amateur production of Dreamgirls.

[cwickham]

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER. IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MORE.

Rimmer performs a cover of a Shalamar classic.

[cwickham]

SILENT NIGHT. IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MORE.

Rimmer stages his own retelling of the Nativity.

[Dave]

ONE GAUNTLET. IT’S NOT ENIG. I WANT MORE.

Kryten accidentally steals the Inquisitor’s other glove.

[Dave]

ONE EGG? IT’S NOT “UN OEUF”. I WANT MORE.

When Lister asks Kryten to make him a triple fried egg chilli chutney sandwich, he gets frustrated when the mechanoid insists on cooking it in “French mode” and not following the recipe properly.

[Dave]

ONE FRIGHT. IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MORE.

Craig Charles asks the producers of Ghostwatch to beef up his role.

[Jenuall]

ONE SPRITE? IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MORE!

Low on funds for Series XIII Doug accepts a product placement deal with a popular soft drink

[Warbodog]

ONE FAHRENHEIT. IT’S NOT ENOUGH. I WANT MORE.

Kryten is understandably dismayed when his new freezer maxes out at -17.22°C, slightly warmer than the optimal -18°C.

[Pete Part Three]

HANCOCRACY

While rooting around his lower self’s belongings, Lister stumbles across a video that disturbs him to his very core.

[Dave]

HANCOCRACY’S HALF HOUR

Dave’s timeslot for HANCOCRACY.

[Author]

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