Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[Warbodog]

GRAV-CARPOOL

Kryten starts a chatty taxi service in a gothic cyberpunk car with chains criss-crossing the interior and getting dangerously in the way.

[Dave]

GRAVITAS POOL

Futuristic pool game in which an AI hologrammatic version of Orson Welles provides a running commentary.

[Dave]

GRAVE POOL

Rimmer joins a pool club for holograms.

[Warbodog]

CHAV-POOL

Lister goes back in time and challenges some antisocial youths to a pool championship.

[Dave]

CHIVE POOL

Kryten uses a chive as a makeshift pool cue after cress proves unsuitable.

[Warbodog]

SLAV-POOL

Alternativní název pro ‘Bílá díra’ na vydání 4K.

[Dave]

NAV-POOL

Lister tries to set up a pool table in Starbug’s cockpit.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

NIAMH POOL

Futuristic Irish pool table

[Warbodog]

GREY-POOL

Lister plays pool during series one.

[Warbodog]

GAY-POOL

Lister sets up a hot tub in the sleeping quarters and one thing leads to another.

[cwickham]

MATHS IN THE RED PART ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-TWO

Holly invents a new number system where half of 10 is 6. What is one-sixth of 30 under this new system?

[cwickham]

MATHS IN THE RED PART ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-THREE

There are 2 Skutters in front of 2 other Skutters, 2 Skutters behind 2 Skutters and 2 Skutters next to 2 Skutters. How many Skutters are there in total?

[cwickham]

MATHS IN THE RED PART ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FOUR

Lister is heading south down B Deck on his bike at 25 mph. Cat passes Lister, also travelling south on quantum roller-skates, at 40 mph. Simultaneously, Lister passes Rimmer, who is walking in the same direction at 5 mph. Who will move away from Lister at a faster pace, Cat or Rimmer?

[Dave]

MATHS IN THE RED PART ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-TWO

Holly invents a new number system where half of 10 is 6. What is one-sixth of 30 under this new system?

IT HAS A 6 IN IT. BUT IT’S NOT 6000.

Queeg volunteers an answer.

[Warbodog]

I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK. GAIMAN.

Lister wants to read Neverwhere in peace.

[Warbodog]

I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK. GAMMON.

Lister wants to enjoy his pork in peace.

[Warbodog]

I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK. GORMAN.

Lister wants to watch Modern Life Is Goodish in peace.

[Warbodog]

I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK. HEY, MON.

Lister regrets learning what an iguana is.

[Dave]

I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK. SHAMONE!

Lister encounters a 1987 Michael Jackson.

[Dave]

I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK, GAMBON

Doug casts a high-profile A-list actor as a background extra with no lines.

[Dave]

I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK, GAME ON’S ON

Lister tells everyone to shut up while he is watching his favourite 1990s flatshare sitcom.

[Dave]

TODAY’S FISH IS SILLY OLD TROUT A LA CREME

A de-guilted Kryten introduces Rimmer to a Polymorph in the shape of his mother.

[si]

I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK, SIMON

.

[Dave]

MR BAT

Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where Lister’s pet bat was safely sealed in the hold.

[Dave]

MR GNAT

Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where Lister’s pet insect was safely sealed in the hold.

[Dave]

MR TWAT

Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where Piers Morgan was safely sealed in the hold.

[Dave]

MR HAT

Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where Lister’s leather deerstalker was safely sealed in the hold. It hasn’t evolved into anything but Lister talks to it as though it’s alive, which is a bit weird.

[Dave]

MR GUITAR

Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where all of Robert Llewellyn’s outtakes were safely sealed in the hold.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

MR THATCHER

Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where Dennis Thatcher was safely sealed in the hold.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

MR FAT

Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where Rob Grant was safely sealed in the hold.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

MR ZAPPED

Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where another Dave original sit-com was safely sealed in the hold and immediately skips out again.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

MR PLATT

Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where David Platt off of Corrie is safely sealed in the hold.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

MR MOTT

Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where ‘Mott the Hoople’ were safely sealed in the hold.

[Dave]

MR MISTER

Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where the 1985 hit Broken Wings was safely sealed in the hold.

[Warbodog]

GRAV-POLO

Future toffs whack a ball around a carousel.

[cwickham]

MATHS IN THE RED PART ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIVE

Holly keeps on randomly going offline, and the Dwarfers are eventually able to trace the fault to his internal clock. Whenever the minute hand of the clock crosses over the hour hand, the two cables touch and the power goes off for two minutes until Holly can reset. It’s currently 6.35pm, and the power has just come back on. When will it next go off?

[Dave]

TEWWUHFOWM

The crew crash land on a planet based on the warped mind of Jonathan Ross.

[Dave]

WIMMUHWORLD

Jonathan Ross crash lands on a planet full of clones of Rimmer.

[Dave]

WOSSES AND JONATHANS

One of the vending machines has a programmed lisp and everyone debates whether it’s offensive.

[cwickham]

FUNNY TV

Original title for Krytie TV which was withdrawn on the grounds it was a breach of the Trade Descriptions Act.

[cwickham]

DUNNY TV

How Series VIII was described when broadcast in Australia.

[cwickham]

MONEY TV

Doug demands to get paid to write more Red Dwarf.

[Warbodog]

KRYTIE TVGOHOME

Charlie Brooker writes a joke Red Dwarf listing that he subsequently discovers is an actual episode synopsis.

[cwickham]

PUNNY TV

Doug just has the characters come out with a string of puns whilst sitting around a table for 29 minutes.

[cwickham]

RUNNY TV

Everyone has a runny nose this week.

[cwickham]

SUNNY TV

The sun comes out, and then turns supernova and consumes Red Dwarf completely.

[cwickham]

BUNNY TV

Everyone gets a pet rabbit.

[cwickham]

HEY-NONNY-NONNY TV

Everyone goes Morris dancing.

[cwickham]

HONEY TV

Everyone takes up bee-keeping.

[Warbodog]

GRAV-SWING

Swings are given a rather silly, futuristic name.

[Author]

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