Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[Moonlight]

RED DWARF: LOWER SEX

Rarely seen video tape featuring such classic episodes as “Phwooaarrr!” Doug Naylor has attempted to Lucas this batch of episodes out of existence so it is a valuable item.

[Nick R]

JIM, VEXED BY SPEED

Lister’s son finds the 1994 Keanu Reeves action movie annoying.

[Moonlight]

JIM, DECKED BY TWEED

After showing up late one too many times, Jim Lister is punched in the face by his university professor.

[Formica]

RED DWARF HEX

Rimmer’s studies into the occult go wrong as he puts Lister and Cat under a curse that causes them to start falling up. Meanwhile, Kryten can’t find the tomatoes.

[Formica]

RED DWARF PECKS

Lister and Cat whack, smash, and brutalize their willies until they’re shriveled and bruised. Meanwhile, Rimmer can’t stop accidentally being racist to Kryten.

[Formica]

RED DWARF GECS

Lister and Cat become a successful pop duo as Rimmer plays manager. Meanwhile, Kryten is trying to use years upon years of human feces as manure to restart the ship’s botanical garden. It’s very funny when Rimmer and Cat are complaining about the horrible smell and Lister can’t smell the difference, trust me.

[Moonlight]

RED DWARF GEX

The Cat becomes a gecko, for some reason. Meanwhile, Rimmer loses an arm wrestling championship for the title of Crown Champion of the Universe to Madge the Skutter.

[cwickham]

RED DWARF PEX

Inexplicable crossover with the 1987 Doctor Who story Paradise Towers.

[cwickham]

RED DWARF PEZ

The Dwarfers are transformed into little candy dispensers.

[Dave]

RED DWARF CHEQUES

Anachronistic merchandising tie-in launched by the Nationwide Building Society.

[Dave]

RED DWARF CHECKS

After the Timewave debacle, Doug hires a team of people to look over his scripts to make sure they’re not terrible. 

[Dave]

RED DWARF CZECHS

After the failure of Red Dwarf USA, Rob and Doug decide to stage their next remake in a slightly less high-profile market.

[cwickham]

RED DWARF LEXX

Episode guest-starring Taunton-born comedian Laura.

[cwickham]

RED DWARF MEX

Spin-off series starring Andrew Alston where the hapless Canary gets into situations where his constant freezing and pausing allegedly make for hilarious consequences.

[cwickham]

RED DWARF TEX

The Dwarfers meet Superted’s arch-enemy.

[cwickham]

RED DWARF NEX

A Swedish musical group gets shrunk.

[Flap Jack]

RED DWARF A-X

The production teams behind the Red Dwarf Night programme line up are informed that they’ve gone over budget and will need to make some cuts.

(P.S. Happy 26th birthday, Red Dwarf Night.)

[Dave]

RED DWARF SPECS

Fanboy-dream coffee table hardcover featuring blueprints and full technical details of all the spacecraft, gadgets, robots etc. in Red Dwarf.

[Dave]

RED DWARF SPECS

Cheap tie-in sunglasses with the Red Dwarf logo on the side, but the shit one with dodgy kerning.

[Dave]

RED DWARF SPECKS

Grit on the scanner that looks like black holes.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

RED DWARF PECKS
Lister and Cat whack, smash, and brutalize their willies until they’re shriveled and bruised. Meanwhile, Rimmer can’t stop accidentally being racist to Kryten.

Is this one of Rob’s new episodes?

[Dave]

RED DWARF PECKERS

Compilation of scenes from Red Dwarf involving beaked animals, featuring among others the chicken from DNA, the flying monsters from Meltdown and the chicken from Emohawk.

[cwickham]

RED DWARF NECKS

The DNA machine comes back, and turns everyone into vampires.

[cwickham]

RED DWARF REX

Pete comes back, eats everyone and takes over the entire show.

[Nick R]

JIM BECKSLY SPEED

Turns out that Lister’s second son was not, as has always been claimed, named after the Zero Gee Football player Jim Bexley Speed, but was actually named after the One Gee Football player David Beckham.

[Moonlight]

JIM, BECK’S DEED, SPEED

Singer-songwriter Beck accidentally kills Jim Lister with a bazookoid, and hurriedly escapes the ship to avoid prosecution.

[Formica]

RED DWARF BECK

I’m a Lister baby, so why don’t you kill me?

[Formica]

RED DWARF EX

Rimmer and Lister break up.

[Formica]

RED DWARF SPECS

Fanboy-dream coffee table hardcover featuring blueprints and full technical details of all the spacecraft, gadgets, robots etc. in Red Dwarf.

VOLUME II: RED DWARF DECKS

[Formica]

RED DWARF DECKS

Spambot-generated playing card deck featuring 52 cash-grabbingly designed character cards with misquoted quotes and would you look at that somebody’s even misspelled Crytin

[Formica]

RED DWARF DECKS

Comprises one unbroken thirty-minute shot of Lister and Rimmer taking turns being hit by delayed beatings in Hollister’s office.

[Formica]

RED DWARF CHEX

After Doug inks a brand deal with a breakfast cereal, he only has 30 minutes to pen a story idea that justifies the cereal’s inclusion in a story. Can he make it in time?

[Formica]

RED DWARF TREKS

Rimmer sets out to hike every last inch of Red Dwarf after finding a map of a complete walking trail covering every area of the ship.

[cwickham]

RED DWARF FLUXX

Red Dwarf-themed edition of the popular card game.

[Formica]

RED DWARF MEXICAN WEEK

Lister doesn’t want to eat any tack-ohs unless Kryten puts curry pico de gallow on them, Cat tries to figure out whether Mexico is a real place, and Rimmer resolves to not even make Juan Mexican joke.

[Dave]

RED DWARF KEKS

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

RED DWARF TREK

Lister finally decides it’s no longer too early in the morning for that Star Trek crap.

[Nick R]

RED DWARF CZECHS
After the failure of Red Dwarf USA, Rob and Doug decide to stage their next remake in a slightly less high-profile market.

[Ridley]

RIMMER’S CHOCOLATE EXPERIENCE
This joke will also be posted into the AIdea for an episode thread, the McGruder sex thread, Unseen Bottom thread, meme thread and Red Dwarf dream thread.

[cwickham]

FORTNIGHT

Taylor Swift song about how long Rimmer wanted to borrow Lister’s body for.

[cwickham]

SO LONG, NODNOL

Taylor Swift song about a universe where time runs backwards.

[cwickham]

FRESH OUT THE SLAMMER

Taylor Swift song about the alternate ending to “Only the Good…”

[cwickham]

GUILTY OF SECOND-DEGREE MURDER, 1167 COUNTS AS SIN

Taylor Swift song about Rimmer’s failure to fix the drive plate.

[cwickham]

WELL SHERIFF, WHO’S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME

Taylor Swift song about a Wild West virtual simulation.

[cwickham]

I CAN FIX THE DRIVE PLATE (NO REALLY I CAN)

Taylor Swift song about being subjected to a lethal dose of Cadmium-2.

[cwickham]

THE SMALLEST PHYSICAL FLAW WHO EVER LIVED

Taylor Swift song about Rimmerworld.

[cwickham]

I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN LIGHT BARRIER

Taylor Swift song about future echoes.

[Dave]

[cwickham]

WE’RE ON THE BLACK DOG’S MILK

Taylor Swift song about running out of cow’s milk.

[Dave]

FUCK MY ARSE WE’RE ON PAGE 1989 264

[Author]

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