Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Idea for an episode.

Viewing 100 posts - 8,401 through 8,500 (of 8,818 total)
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  • #262614
    cwickham
    Participant

    CLIPPYSWAP

    Lister swaps jobs with the Microsoft Office assistant.

    #262615
    cwickham
    Participant

    CLIPPYTEN

    Early draft of “Kryten” where the titular character was in fact a futuristic version of the Microsoft Office assistant. Had to be rewritten when Paul Jackson pointed out Microsoft Office 97 wouldn’t be invented for another eight years.

    #262616
    cwickham
    Participant

    THANKS FOR THE CLIPPY

    Lister gives Rimmer all his memories of the Microsoft Office assistant.

    #262617
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE LAST CLIPPY

    Hudzen 10 arrives on board Red Dwarf after learning the ship is still running Microsoft Office 97, which has been obsolete for over three million years.

    #262618
    cwickham
    Participant

    DELAYED REACTION JUMP

    Fuck my arse we’re on the eighty-fifth page

    #262619
    evilmorwen
    Participant

    NINETYFIVEICA

    Shot down by simulants, the crew go to an alternative Earth where all operating systems after Windows 95 have been banned.

    #262620
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE

    The BBC decide to spin a quiz show out of the “Universe Challenge” segment from Red Dwarf Night. They rename it with a silly pun and dispense with the Red Dwarf theme. Cuh!

    #262621
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    FUCK MY ARSE WE’RE ONTO THE 99384TH PAGE

    Cappsy plays around with the pagination settings some more.

    #262622
    Ridley
    Participant

    CAPPSANDRA

    Cappsy forms a gestalt entity with Clippy when it looks like you’re trying to avoid the future.

    #262623
    cwickham
    Participant

    BODYNACHOER

    The DNA machine comes back, and gives Lister a body made entirely of nachos.

    #262624
    cwickham
    Participant

    BODYTHATCHER

    The DNA machine comes back, and gives Lister the body of Margaret Thatcher.

    #262625
    cwickham
    Participant

    BONEYSNATCHER

    All of Lister’s Boney M records are stolen.

    #262626
    cwickham
    Participant

    REET PETE

    Pete comes back and dances to Jackie Wilson’s “Reet Petite” with Blue Midget. Episode abandoned after worldwide protests by Red Dwarf fans.

    #262627
    Dave
    Participant

    CRETE PART TWO

    Lister gets back to earth and accidentally fires the triplicator at a Greek island.

    #262628
    Dave
    Participant

    FEET PART TWO

    Kryten gets corrupted by malware and chops everyone’s shoes in half.

    #262629
    Dave
    Participant

    TEAT PART TWO

    A lust-mad horny VIII-era Doug writes an entire two-parter about Kochanski’s nipples.

    #262630
    Dave
    Participant

    THAT’S NEAT THAT’S NEAT THAT’S NEAT THAT’S NEAT I REALLY LOVE YOUR TIGER FEET PART TWO

    Lister becomes an obsessive fan of Mud.

    #262631
    evilmorwen
    Participant

    PEAT PART TWO

    Rimmer gets really into composting.

    #262632
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE FIRST 8,419 IDEAS

    Comprehensive documentary on the first 3.37% of this thread.

    #262633
    cwickham
    Participant

    JSP

    The DNA machine comes back, and turns Lister into a really annoying journalist.

    #262634
    cwickham
    Participant

    LLAMA

    The karma drive comes back, and turns everyone into llamas.

    #262635
    cwickham
    Participant

    PARMA

    The karma drive comes back, and turns everyone into ham.

    #262636
    cwickham
    Participant

    STARMER

    The karma drive comes back, and turns everyone into Keir Starmer.

    #262637
    cwickham
    Participant

    HARMER

    The karma drive comes back, and causes everyone great harm.

    #262638
    cwickham
    Participant

    WHO DO YOU THINK YOU KARMA

    Documentary on the history of the karma drive.

    #262639
    evilmorwen
    Participant

    KARMA, KARMA, KARMA, KARMA, KARMA

    The one where everyone’s Boy George.

    #262640
    Dave
    Participant

    KARMA CAMILLE ION

    When Red Dwarf is fitted with its own karma drive, Kryten is rewarded for his years of faithful service when Camille shows up. Meanwhile, an ion storm knocks out Holly to punish him for being so incompetent.

    Suddenly, Boy George beams on board and is inspired to write a new song, called JusticeRipoffGreenBlobComputer.

    #262641
    evilmorwen
    Participant

    KRYTIE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD

    Red Dwarf finally arrives back on Earth, and become the subject of an American television series about their adventures. Kryten is the only one approached about playing himself, much to the resentment of the rest of the cast.

    #262642
    Dave
    Participant

    FRANK RANKS FRANK & FRANK’S FRANKS FOR FRANK FOR THE MEMORIES

    Lister reminisces about that time that Hollister and Todhunter cooked a plate of thin German sausages that were then given a mark out of ten by Rimmer’s uncle, only for Frankenstein to secretly eat them when all their backs were turned.

    #262643
    cwickham
    Participant

    ESTONELY THE GOOD

    New version of “Only the Good…” which resolves the cliffhanger by revealing Rimmer escaped to Estonia, somehow.

    #262644

    CONEY THE GOOD

    New version of “Only the Good…” which resolves the cliffhanger by revealing Amy Coney Barrett saves the crew from the camellionic microbe.

    #262645
    Dave
    Participant

    ONLY THE DUDE

    Ill-advised Big Lebowski spinoff.

    #262646
    cwickham
    Participant

    ONLY THE NUDE

    Doug is arrested for public indecency.

    #262647
    evilmorwen
    Participant

    OUT OF BRINE

    The crew are starting to run low on saline water for Lister’s jar.

    #262648
    cwickham
    Participant

    SCISSOR/ROSSICS

    Rimmer crosses over into a mirror universe where everyone is made of scissors.

    #262655

    GROOVY, FUNKO POP, CHANNEL 27

    Channel 27 re-brands by firing its holograms and hiring Funko Pops to read the news instead.

    #262657

    FUNKO ECHOS

    The fast to light speed the crew travel, the more likely they are to see random Funko Pop collections clogging up the ship

    #262658

    FUNKO FOR THE MEMORY

    Lister gifts Rimmer the memory of his Funko Pop collection he left behind on Earth.

    #262659
    Dave
    Participant

    FUNKO POP GOES DELIUS OR POP FUNKING UP WAGNER

    Rimmer shows off his collection of small ugly misshapen plastic pieces of crap that vaguely resemble Reggie Wilson.

    #262660

    FUNKOSHIP

    The crew encounter a ship populated entirely by Funko Pops, and Rimmer fucks one.

    #262661

    FUNKO THE GOOD…

    New version of “Only the Good…” which digitally replaces the camellionic microbe with funko pops.

    #262662

    TERRAFUNKO

    Rimmer and Kryten crash land on moon artificially created by Terrifying Funko Pops.

    #262663

    FUNKO IN THE RED

    Nanobots recreate Red Dwarf and resurrect the crew as Funko Pops

    #262664

    FUNKO, POP!

    Taiwan Tony thanks his father.

    #262665
    cwickham
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART SEVENTEEN

    Hollister tasks Rimmer with sending out the invitations to his next dinner party. He wants to invite his father’s brother-in-law, his brother’s father-in-law, his father-in-law’s brother, and his brother-in-law’s father. He also wants Rimmer to save paper, and send out the fewest number of invitations possible. What is the smallest number of invitations Rimmer can send out and still cover the whole guest list?

    #262679
    evilmorwen
    Participant

    THE CRAIG CHARLES FUNKO SOUL SHOW

    Craig Charles explores the thorny issue of whether Funko Pops really do have souls.

    #262680
    cwickham
    Participant

    PASTY THE GOOD…

    Lister becomes addicted to pasties.

    #262681

    CAROLINE KARMA CHAMELEON

    Lister is sexually attacked by a long dead woman dressed up as Boy George.

    #262683
    Dave
    Participant

    BEYOND A FUNK

    Kryten finds out that his ridiculous appearance was designed by professor Mamet based on a Funko Pop that she particularly hated.

    #262684
    Dave
    Participant

    TERRORFUNK

    Kryten and Rimmer crash-land on a pop-moon which recreates all of Rimmer’s personality flaws as horrible misshapen little pieces of plastic.

    #262685
    Dave
    Participant

    FUNK ME A POPPER

    Ace Rimmer takes a recreational muscle relaxant and listens to some James Brown.

    #262686
    evilmorwen
    Participant

    DIMENSION FUNK

    The crew meet a version of Rimmer, who comes from a dimension where everyone is a Funko Pop.

    #262687
    cwickham
    Participant

    FUNKFUNK

    Everyone falls into a funk after being reminded of those fucking vinyl figurines.

    #262688

    MEFUNK

    Rimmer recreates himself as a Funko Pop and tried to live with it for a few days before getting into a blistering row with it and Lister deciding that the Funko Pop was allowed to stay and Rimmer would have to be switched off.

    #262689

    FUNKO AND SUNS

    Lister is pressured into taking the engineering exam by a Funko Pop version of himself.

    #262690
    Dave
    Participant

    STEPTOE AND SUNS

    Dirty old rag-and-bone man Albert Steptoe is aghast when his son conspires to trick him by programming a tenth-generation AI hologrammatic computer to fire him into the heart of the nearest star.

    #262691
    evilmorwen
    Participant

    HANCOCKRACY

    The crew have an election to decide their favourite episode of Hancock’s Half Hour.

    #262692
    cwickham
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART EIGHTEEN

    At 1500 hours, Lister begins repainting the ship, beginning with the left-hand side, which is completely level, then continuing up the ramscoop. He then has to travel back down the ramscoop and back the way he came to get back to the airlock he started from, and finishes at 2100 hours. He sees from the ship’s log that he travelled at four miles an hour along the level part of the ship, three miles an hour uphill, and six miles an hour downhill.

    How many miles did Lister travel overall?

    #262735
    evilmorwen
    Participant

    BUTTER THEN LIFE

    Lister faces up to his destiny as creator of the second universe. But first, he needs to face up to the reality of that milk he’s left in the fridge for six months.

    #262760
    cwickham
    Participant

    BAILEY THE GOOD

    New version of Only the Good which resolves the cliffhanger by having Bill Bailey turn up and save everything with his dancing skills.

    #262762
    cwickham
    Participant

    NDA

    DNA, but nobody can talk about it.

    #262763
    Dave
    Participant

    PRINCE OF THE PLANET POTTER

    Rimmer’s escape pod crashes on a planet entirely populated by clones of Daniel Radcliffe. He quickly assumes control.

    #262764
    Dave
    Participant

    PRINCE OF THE PLANET PITA

    The artist formerly known as the artist formerly known as Prince starts a new off-world colony with an economy based on small oval flatbreads.

    #262765
    Dave
    Participant

    A PRINCE AMONG THE PLANET POTTERS

    New Chris Barrie sitcom in which he plays a retired celebrity snooker player living the high life.

    #262766
    cwickham
    Participant

    DIBBER

    The quantum skipper comes back, but this time is used as a piece of gardening equipment.

    #262767
    cwickham
    Participant

    BODYSWAPSNATCHER

    Lia Williams rounds up all known copies of Bodyswap and destroys them as revenge for her role as Carol Brown being uncredited.

    #262768
    Dave
    Participant

    ALONE IN A GODLESS UNIVERSE, AND OUT OF FLEETWOOD MAC

    Bob Brunning biopic.

    #262769
    Dave
    Participant

    A LOAN IN A GODLESS UNIVERSE

    Rimmer lends Lister twenty dollarpounds.

    #262770
    Dave
    Participant

    LEAVE IT – A LOAN

    Lister tries to get out of paying Rimmer back.

    #262780
    evilmorwen
    Participant

    ALONE IN A DOGLESS UNIVERSE

    Awaiting rescue by Kryten and Cat, Lister is forced to resort to eating a pot noodle.

    #262783
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    A MOAN IN A DOUGLAS UNIVERSE

    Ever since he assumed sole control of Red Dwarf, Doug Naylor has been troubled by the endless whining of an actor who left the show in 1988, and has desperately wanted to return full-time ever since.

    #262784
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    ATONE FOR A ZODLESS UNIVERSE

    The Inquisitor judges Zack Snyder worthless due to the way he swiftly wrote out General Zod from the DCU. Also, because he has no talent and makes shitty movies.

    #262786

    AL CAPONE IN A LOGLESS UNIVERSE

    Notorious gangster discovers his dreams of becoming a lumberjack have been scuppered when he discovers trees don’t exist.

    #262787

    A PHONE IN A CONTACTLESS UNIVERSE

    Having lost his debit card, Lister is grateful his smartphone has NFC contactless capabilities.

    #262788
    Dave
    Participant

    A DRONE IN A PODCAST UNIVERSE

    Joe Rogan beams on board Red Dwarf.

    #262789
    Dave
    Participant

    A GROAN IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE

    Deleted scene showing the exact moment of conception of Jim and Bexley.

    #262790
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    A HOME FOR GOODALL’S VERSE

    Howard Goodall’s unused verses for It’s Cold Outside are showcased in the “Setting the Score” featurette.

    #262791

    A CONE IN A ROADLESS UNIVERSE

    Chapter title for the hangover scene in The Last Day to feature on the 4K UHD re-re-mastered boxset release.

    #262792
    evilmorwen
    Participant

    A CROON IN A TUNELESS UNIVERSE

    When Lister tries to sing Perry N’Kwomo’s latest hit, Talkie Toaster is quick to bring up the opinion that he can’t sing, you know.

    #262793

    A LOON IN A GODLESS UNIVERSE

    Rimmer accuses Lister of being space crazy.

    #262794
    Dave
    Participant

    A DOON IN A GIRLLESS UNIVERSE

    Doon Mackichan insists that she should really have been cast as Rimmer, despite the fact that this would have violated the show’s all-male conceit.

    #262795
    cwickham
    Participant

    A GNOME IN A GODLESS UNIVERSE

    Lister discovers he is really a sentient garden gnome.

    #262796

    GENOME INT A GODLESS UNIVERSE

    Lister writes a scathing essay proving he can’t be God because he doesn’t understand how the genome works.

    #262797
    Dave
    Participant

    HOME ALONE IN A GODLESS UNIVERSE

    When Hoagie the Roguey tries to break into Red Dwarf, Lister sets up a load of home-made traps to thwart him.

    #262798
    cwickham
    Participant

    A BONE IN A GODLESS UNIVERSE

    Lister expresses his desire to have sex one more time.

    #262799

    NINA SIMONE IN A GODLESS UNIVERSE

    Red Dwarf is re-booted, with Nina Simone playing the lead role.

    #262800

    A STONE IN A GODLESS UNIVERSE

    William Paley (18th Century Clergyman and Philosopher) beams aboard Red Dwarf to explain that, whilst finding a watch on the ground would prompt you to question it’s origins – and thus this is comparable to the human origins, this gives thoughtful evidence of a Designer – finding a stone on the ground would not cause you to wonder where it had come from. Leading to the unintended consequence of this argument being that stones can therefore exist in a Godless universe because, as by Paley’s assertion, they have no specific functions and therefore The rational conclusion against Paley is that a stone constitutes a superfluous and redundant object that an intelligent designer would not include, and therefore the universe and everything in it is purely coincidental.

    Fucking idiot.

    #262805
    cwickham
    Participant

    PHONY THE GOOD

    New version of Only the Good which resolves the cliffhanger by revealing all the previously stated information about the chameleonic microbe was actually phony.

    #262806
    evilmorwen
    Participant

    JEROME IN A ROBLESS UNIVERSE

    Jerome Flynn, of pop duo Robson and Jerome, is forced to face evidence that Robson Green is a hallucination caused by a mutated pneumonia virus.

    #262807
    Dave
    Participant

    ALONELY THE GOODLESS UNIVERSE

    Mash-up of two popular Idea For An Episode memes with no discernible plot.

    #262812
    evilmorwen
    Participant

    ALONE IN A GORDONLESS UNIVERSE

    Mash-up of a recently popular Idea for an Episode meme with one you thought you’d seen the end of last page.

    #262813
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE INVISIBLE FAN

    M-Corp comes back, and makes the ship’s cooling system invisible.

    #262814
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE INVISIBLE NAN

    M-Corp comes back, and makes everyone’s relatives invisible.

    #262815
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE INVISIBLE PAN

    M-Corp comes back, and makes Lister’s frying pan invisible.

    #262816
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE INVISIBLE RAM

    M-Corp comes back, and makes Lister’s pet sheep invisible.

    #262817
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE INVISIBLE TAN

    M-Corp comes back, and makes all the ship’s bottles of spray-tan invisible.

    #262818
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE INVISIBLE VAN

    M-Corp comes back, and makes a van invisible.

    #262819
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE INVISIBLE YAM

    M-Corp comes back, and makes a really big vegetable invisible.

    #262820
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE VISIBLE MAN

    M-Corp doesn’t come back.

    #262821
    Dave
    Participant

    THE INVISIBLE 86TH PAGE

Viewing 100 posts - 8,401 through 8,500 (of 8,818 total)
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