Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[cwickham]

JAGO & LITEFOOT IN THE RED

Jago & Litefoot arrive from a parallel universe. No elaboration is required, that’s definitely the best episode ever

[cwickham]

GRAYLING IN THE RED

Chris Grayling fails to arrive from a parallel universe on time.

[Dave]

4291 IRRADIATED HAGGIS

While running through the ship’s inventory, Rimmer is surprised to see a time-hole open up a gateway to the home of an irascible pensioner answering the telephone.

[Paul Muller]

ONE FOOT IN THE RED

Irascible pensioner Victor Meldrew spills some jam and then accidentally steps in it.

“I do not believe it”, he exclaims.

[Dave]

ONE FOOT IN REALITY

Victor Meldrew is killed in a tragic hit-and-run incident. He wakes up to discover that his entire life has been an elaborate AR videogame, and he is in fact a slobbish dreadlocked Liverpudlian aboard a crewless mining spaceship three million years in the future.

“I don’t smeggin’ believe it,” he says.

[cwickham]

PATRICK IN THE RED

Patrick Trench arrives from a parallel universe to torment Victor Meldrew.

[Dave]

MRS WARBOYS FROM THE DWARF

A hidden stasis booth is revealed, containing none other than Doreen Mantle.

[Warbodog]

VICTOR MELDOWN

Time-consuming split-screen remaster of Meltdown that adds thousands of Victor Meldrew wax droids to the final battle who all say his catch-phrase when they get shot.

[cwickham]

THINGS AREN’T SILICONIA ANYMORE

Victor Meldrew’s corpse is turned into Kryten.

[Dave]

TIMELESS TIMESLIDES

Lister uses a photograph and mutated development fluid to travel back in time and reunite with his dead son, Stuart, who is never mentioned in Red Dwarf before or since.

[clem]

ONE FOOT IN THE GREY

The skutters are painting a wall in series 1. Rimmer accidentally steps in the bucket.

[clem]

ONE HAND IN THE GRAVE

Spare Hand 1 dies.

[Dave]

BLUE MARGARET IS LOADED

Annette Crosbie daubs herself in woad after drinking heavily, and performs an uncharacteristic breakdance as Victor looks on, bemused, much like the audience.

[cwickham]

I PETE-Y THE FOOL

Remastered version of Pete where the dinosaur is played by Mr. T.

[Paul Muller]

POLY MORPH 2: EMO HAWK

The crew and their plasticine companion welcome a new participant to their open relationship: A kestrel sporting black dyed hair and a Taking Back Sunday t-shirt.

[Dave]

Regrettably Egregious Dwarf Cartoon Heralds Rubbish Idea. Smartphone Travesty Makes Audiences Sad.

[Warbodog]

MY SPECIAL RED DWARF CHRISTMAS / MY MAGIC RED DWARF BIRTHDAY / CHOCKS AWAY!: A RED DWARF ADVENTURE

Bespoke Red Dwarf episodes for needy fans. Just provide your name, gender and a digital photo of your face and you can be overlaid onto a Mary Sue character in an amazing template adventure of your choice! Turns out to be a data harvesting scam.

[Warbodog]

SMEGS AND BACON

Unusual double video pack of Smeg Ups and a documentary about Francis Bacon.

[Warbodog]

SMEG ON YOUR FACE

Unsuccessful Red Dwarf cosmetics range.

[si]

SMEG AND CHiPs

The crew become California Highway Patrol officers.

[cwickham]

STEG and CHiPs

Basically the same as SMEG AND CHiPs, but Pete is involved, having turned from a tyrannosaurus into a stegosaurus for no reason.

[Dave]

I SEE NO CHiPs

Alternate ending to Only The Good in which Rimmer reveals that he hasn’t ever watched CHiPs.

[Paul Muller]

GET YOUR LINES RIGHT ROB, THERE’S A BAG OF CHiPs IN IT FOR YOU

Ed Bye promises to give Robert Llewellyn a rucksack containing DVDs of all six seasons of CHiPs, as well as the poorly received 2017 movie remake, on the proviso that he correctly performs his lines in the upcoming scene.

[Dave]

BANANA N CHiPs

Redubbed scene from Timeslides to make Hitler’s sandwich preferences clearer to Americans.

[Warbodog]

CHIPPY AND CHIPS

Kryten accidentally drops Chippy into Lister’s unappetising pile of fries. A tedious scene follows.

[Warbodog]

CHIPPY AND CHIP

Chippy and Kryten’s guilt chip start a relationship, but their difference in scale causes insurmountable difficulties.

[Warbodog]

LESS CHOICE THAN A WELSH FISH AND CHiPs SHOP

Visiting Cardiff in his youth, Rimmer is appalled to find a video shop dedicated exclusively to CHiPs, apart from a section covering the 1977-78 Barney Miller spin-off. He will bring this up occasionally in the future.

[Dave]

CHiPPER

Rimmer quantum-skips through a number of different dimensions in which he plays various roles in the TV show CHiPs.

[Warbodog]

CHiPs OFF THE OLD BLOCH

Desperate for new reading material, Holly finally gets around to Robert Bloch’s maligned CHiPs tie-in novels.

[Paul Muller]

BANANA AND CHiPs?

Timeslides, dubbed for the US market.

[Warbodog]

SMEG AND MR CHIPS

Lister watches the Catch-Phrase ‘Snake Charmer’ clip and laughs beer milkshake through his nose.

[Dave]

BANANA AND CHiPs?

Timeslides, dubbed for the US market.

I wish I’d thought of that.

[Paul Muller]

SO WE’RE….CHiPs IN LAW?

Dave is replaced by a duplicate forum poster who makes the same jokes, but poorly written, and with much bigger hair.

[Dave]

PISSING ON YOUR CHiPs

Dave makes a needless sarcastic comment in the Idea For An Episode thread that comes off as more passive-aggressive than he intended.

[Berlin]

The Bell End

A slobby, lazy but kind-hearted low-level crew-member inadvertently becomes the last human in the universe by being put into stasis hibernation just before an engine radiation leak wipes out the crew and plunges the mining ship Red Dwarf into a three million year voyage amongst the stars.

As he walks out into a crewless ship, a skutter accidentally hits him in the groin.

[cwickham]

BACK IN THE IDEA FOR AN EPISODE THREAD

Given some of the recent threads on this forum, coming up with ideas for episodes that are just puns on the titles of existing episodes starts to look like a pretty attractive idea.

[Berlin]

BACK IN THE RED IDEA FOR AN EPISODE THREAD

Given some of the recent threads on this forum, coming up with ideas for episodes that are just puns on the titles of existing episodes starts to look like a pretty attractive idea, but in Soviet-era East Berlin.

[si]

BACK IN THE THREAD

Given some of the recent threads on this forum, people decide to just give up and continue to come up with ideas for episodes that are just puns on the titles of existing episodes.
It’s less trouble, and just generally for the best.

[Berlin]

BACK IN THE RORY MCGRATH

Given some of the recent threads on this forum, people decide to just give up and continue to come up with ideas for episodes that are just puns on the titles of existing episodes. It’s less trouble, and just generally for the best while Rory McGrath hides in a bush and watches his former lover jogging and narrowly escapes a jail sentence.

[cwickham]

CATTICUS FINCH

The Cat is cast in a remake of To Kill a Mockingbird.

[Berlin]

RECREATING THE MOBISODES – LIVE

Live mobisodes utilising the cast awkwardly recreating performances at next year’s Dimension Jump.

[Dave]

TERRORFORUM

The G&T Forum gets spammed by shitposting to the extent it becomes unusable.

[Dave]

THANKS FOR THE IRONY

Dave complains about shitposting in the ‘idea for an episode’ thread.

[Berlin]

Dimensions in Time Jump

The boys from the Dwarf skip over to the EastEnders set and make some special needs kids cry

[cwickham]

RATTICUS FINCH

Rimmer learns not to judge Mr Rat by the colour of his fur.

[Berlin]

TIMEWAVE

A ship from the 24th century is washed up from the past, and the Dwarfers run into a crew where ineptitude is to be tolerated by law, audacious self-expression is encouraged, and all forms of criticism are illegal.

[Dave]

DEMONS AND DEMONS

A triplicator accident inadvertently creates a second ‘idea for an episode’ thread, just as awful as the first.

[bloodteller]

THE LAST eBAY

Kryten starts selling bits of the ship on eBay at ludicrously high prices, but nobody buys them because everyone in the universe is dead.

[Dave]

MEDeBAY

When Lister needs urgent medical treatment, he is unable to receive it as Kryten has sold all the equipment to some BEGGs.

[bloodteller]

KRYTIE TV-DRAFT ONE

Kryten fucks Kochanski in the showers and then pisses on her face. “Taste the salty goodness” he wails as he finishes, in a hilarious callback to Duct Soup. Doug is upset

[Author]

Replies