Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[Warbodog]

INFRARED DWARF

Re-release of Red Dwarf I-VIII, remastered to be invisible to the human eye unless you wear the cumbersome goggles supplied. Fans are annoyed when the image turns out to be only vaguely transparent compared to the DVDs.

[Warbodog]

KRYTIE UV

The classic episode is dangerously remastered in ultraviolet light for viewers who want to “tan as [they’re] tickled!” Please enjoy responsibly. Grant Naylor Productions is not responsibile for vision loss or increased skin cancer risk resulting from watching ‘Krytie UV.’ Please seek an opinion from a suitably qualified health practitioner.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

RED SHIFT DWARF

As mildly miffed forum users return their new blu ray box sets, they notice a shift in the colour of the cases as they gradually get further away from them

[Moonlight]

BACK IN THE RED SHIFT

Lister recreates the final scene of Carrie by running at the camera.

[Moonlight]

BACK IN THE RED SHIRT

Rimmer hosts a dinner party, and all the minor characters in attendance are systematically killed off.

[cwickham]

NYTE RK

Kryten wrecks Rimmer’s night, then texts Lister about it.

[Dave]

TYNKER

Kryten gets addicted to watching ‘Lovejoy’.

[Dave]

STYNKER

Someone leaves a floater in the Red Dwarf toilets, but no-one will own up to it.

[cwickham]

NET KRY

Kryten logs on to the internet to have a cry.

[Dave]

TRY KEN

During the ship tournament of Street Fighter II, Lister offers some advice to Kryten after a long losing streak playing as Ryu.

[Ian Symes]

RELIST

Lister’s eBay auction fails to sell, so he tries again.

[cwickham]

MR MIRE

Rimmer gets stuck in some mud, which forms the basis of an insulting new nickname given to him by the Cat.

[cwickham]

TAC

The Dwarfers discover the only food left on the ship is half a pack of a well-known brand of breath mints.

[Dave]

HY, LOL

The crew receive a text message from a shy, socially-awkward computer with an IQ of 6,000.

[Dave]

STERIL

Lister finally reunites with Kochanski only to discover that his prolonged exposure to Red Dwarf’s background radiation means that they are unable to restart the human race.

[Dave]

ACT

The Cat takes up amateur dramatics.

[cwickham]

A CT

The Cat needs to go for a medical examination.

[cwickham]

4CHANSKI

Kochanski is outed as a member of a really awful internet forum.

[cwickham]

SKI KOC HAN

The Dwarfers meet up with Han Solo, who teaches them all how to ski using an intimate part of their body.

[Dave]

REM MIR

Red Dwarf broadcasts ‘Shiny Happy People’ on a constant loop to a now-defunct Russian space station.

[Dave]

SHIT ROLLE

The Captain of Red Dwarf attempts to finally answer once and for all the Cat’s rhetorical question about mouse droppings.

[Dave]

THE OD RUNT

Robert Bathurst is dismayed when he discovers that his Red Dwarf castmates have given him a secret nickname.

[cwickham]

I, L HOLSTER

A holster designed to be worn on the left-hand side of the body becomes sentient.

[Dave]

LISTER, HOL

Lister is introduced to the ship’s computer on his first day working on Red Dwarf.

[Dave]

HANK SICKO

Kochanski adopts a bizarre pseudonym when she takes up a second career as a grisly crime novelist.

[cwickham]

O SICK HANK

Lister reveals himself as a huge fan of the lead character of the animated sitcom “King of the Hill”.

[Ian Symes]

ZAK CRILLY

Reboot of Father Ted, starring Jake Wood as Ted’s long lost nephew.

[Ian Symes]

MANERACK

The warder of Floor 13 markets a new brand of waterproof coats for men.

[cwickham]

REL HIT

The Dwarfers discover the episodes featuring Hitler are really popular with the Daleks.

[cwickham]

SLIP US ACE

Asclepius reveals himself as an alter-ego of Ace Rimmer in response to fan demands to bring said character back.

[cwickham]

NOT WANT AI. Y?

Taiwan Tony asks why he was ever given artificial intelligence.

[cwickham]

EGAN LIME HEEL, C? K.

An actress who played herself in Back to Earth meets a singer from Westlife, who shows her his new own-brand green shoes.

[Dave]

BAR TUGS

Falling on hard times after the series ended, Red Dwarf’s iconic green shuttle vessel is reduced to wanking people off in pub toilets to make ends meet.

[Dave]

BUM GET LEID

And you don’t want to know what the less famous shuttle vessel is doing.

[Dave]

ROYAL UNGOD

Red Dwarf’s remaining co-creator demands to be addressed by a pompous new title.

[Dave]

AND UROLOGY

Doug remembers a final addition to his list of hobbies in his entry for Who’s Who.

[Dave]

TANGO BRR

Red Dwarf’s other co-creator leaves his favourite fizzy drink in the freezer by mistake.

[Ian Symes]

BYE ED

Red Dwarf’s producer/director leaves the room.

[Moonlight]

BUYIN’ THE ED

Doug pays out of pocket for Ed Bye’s directing services on Series XIII.

[Moonlight]

BLUESHIFT

Lister misses Rimmer, who is traveling away from him extremely quickly.

[Moonlight]

WHITESHIFT

Rimmer’s light bee starts spewing random colors no matter which direction he’s traveling. The only solution: plug it up with a planet. I hope it’ll fit.

[Moonlight]

BLUE IN THE REDSHIFT

Listers fucks with Red Dwarf’s throttle, sending it backwards and forwards in violent sequence.

[Moonlight]

EDSHIFT

Rimmer looks increasingly like Ed Bye the faster he travels away from us.

[Moonlight]

BEGGSHIFT

Rimmer chokes to death the faster he travels toward us.

[cwickham]

TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIFT

Dave accidentally gets hold of a Drama tape and broadcasts the Casualty 30th anniversary special in place of Red Dwarf.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

SHIFT Z

Kryten explains to Rimmer how to capitalise the letter z for his reports about his now defunct duties aboard Red Dwarf.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BUY ED

In a controversial addition to the Dimension Jump fan convention schedule, Ed Bye is auctioned off to the highest bidder.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

A SICK HONK

Lister describes to Cat a former female crew members love making noises.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

FRANK QUANTICED

Frank Hollister, Frank Todhunter, Frank Rimmer and Frank Rimmer team up in this slapstick spinoff series as the try to determine they they’re all called Frank

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

* QUARTICED for fuck sake

[Author]

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