Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Idea for an episode.

Viewing 100 posts - 9,201 through 9,300 (of 12,289 total)
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  • #264456
    cwickham
    Participant

    THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE QUEEG TREE IRON

    Queeg comes back, and gives the Dwarfers a device for pressing wooden trunks.

    #264457
    cwickham
    Participant

    THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE AINTREE PSIRENS

    The Psirens come back, and attack Merseyside.

    #264458
    cwickham
    Participant

    THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE AINTREE LEGION

    The Scaffold become a gestalt entity.

    #264459
    cwickham
    Participant

    THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE AINTREE DIMENSION

    The Dwarfers escape to a parallel universe where they are all members of The Scaffold.

    #264461
    cwickham
    Participant

    THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE AINTREE LEMONS

    The second coming of Jesus takes place in Merseyside.

    #264462
    cwickham
    Participant

    THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE A.I. ‘N’ PREE IRON

    The Dwarfers forge solid metal together to create new computer databanks for two of the ship’s former computers.

    #264463
    cwickham
    Participant

    THANKSKI VERSKI MUCHSKI, NEXTSKI

    Rob Grant is grateful for the anuses of both himself and Doug Naylor, which he now seems to think are responsible for creating Ariana Grande.

    #264464
    cwickham
    Participant

    BACK IN THE RED CONNECT 4

    Doug Naylor spends hours playing Connect 4 to distract himself from the nightmare of producing Red Dwarf VIII.

    #264465
    Dave
    Participant

    IN LESS TIME THAN IT TAKES A NORWEGIAN TO BUTTSKI BOOTS

    Demons & Angels is rewritten for the 2022 Red Dwarf Remastered project.

    #264466
    Dave
    Participant

    FUCK MY BUTTSKI WE’RE ON PAGE 93

    Rob Grant welcomes more ideas for an episode, stage ideas for an episode, spinoff ideas for an episode, novel ideas for an episode, ideas for a movie, even a US version of ideas for an episode.

    #264468
    si
    Participant

    THANKSKI VERSKI MUCHSKI FORSKI FEEDINGSKI WILLIAMSKI

    Rob Grant receives a box of chocolates.

    #264469
    Dave
    Participant

    WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? ‘INTO THE GLOOP’ HIM

    Paul Jackson urges Rob Grant to deliver his finished Holly Hop script to Ed Bye.

    #264470

    INTO THE GOOP

    The nanobots shrink Red Dwarf down again and fly into Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina.

    #264476
    Warbodog
    Participant

    INTO THE GALLUP

    Rimmer gets obsessed with video game sales charts from the early 1990s. Presumably Gallup has done other things.

    #264477
    Warbodog
    Participant

    INTO THE GALOOMBA

    The guys meet one of those things that aren’t technically goombas from Super Mario World, which leads to the series being boycotted by its Sonic-loyal audience.

    #264478
    Warbodog
    Participant

    RANGE 15,000 ROB G. GLOOPS AND CLOSING

    Rob Grant overconfidently tries to peddle a wad of signed scripts on eBay.

    #264480
    clem
    Participant

    WE AIN’T EVEN PRETTY GLOOP

    Deleted line from Rob Grant’s new Red Dwarf script. The Cat bemoans the unsightliness of the sticky grey matter the crew are turning into.

    #264481
    Dave
    Participant

    GAZPACHO GLOOP

    Rimmer makes an embarrassing faux pas when he complains that the grey gloop that he and the crew have turned into is the wrong temperature.

    #264482
    clem
    Participant

    SON OF GLOOP

    Rob Grant brings out a small book comprising more short Red Dwarf scripts he’s written. This turns out to be the extent of “RD flying out of our buttskis”.

    #264483
    Jenuall
    Participant

    REVENGE OF THE MUTANT SPLAT GLOOP MONSTER

    Tired of carting out a GELF every time they need a “non-alien” antagonists Rob Grant turns to the gloop to serve the same role in his new vision of the show

    #264493
    cwickham
    Participant

    BANK BALANCE OF POWER

    Lister and Rimmer compete on an episode of an overly complicated 21st century game show hosted by a rubbish celebrity chef.

    #264494
    Warbodog
    Participant

    SMEGAGAGA

    Red Dwarf crosses over with a zany 1994 Clarks trainers campaign that no one else remembers.

    #264495
    clem
    Participant

    WE WANT RED DWARF FLYING OUT OF OUR BUTTERSKI

    Rob Grant gets excited about a potential crossover with those old Lurpak adverts, where Douglas rides the ship out of a block of butter, playing the theme on his little trombone. And Penelope Keith tells him to smeg off.

    #264500
    Warbodog
    Participant

    THE SMEGASAURUS COLLECTION

    Remastered release of series VIII funded by Asda to promote their discontinued dinosaur-themed fizzy pop range. Includes minor dialogue edits replacing references to Coca-Cola with “Megasaurus Cola” and Lister’s “lemonade and a really large scotch” with “Asda Megasaurus Limeade, please. If it’s not Asda Megasaurus Limeade, it’s extinct.”

    #264501
    Dave
    Participant

    SMEGA-CITY ONE

    In yet another of Rob Grant’s buttski-oriented IP exploitation initiatives, GNP opens a new Red Dwarf theme park that is clearly just a lightly-redressed version of the Judge Dredd theme park that closed the previous year due to lack of interest.

    #264502

    JOZXYQSKI

    In a sequel to Bodyswap, Cat tries to cheat at Scrabble by adding extra letters to his board to make it sound Bulgarian.

    #264504
    Warbodog
    Participant

    JOZXY2K

    When another millennium ticks over in deep space, the complex calculations involved in adjusting the date cause Holly to shut down while the boys are still in the dildonics machine.

    #264506
    Dave
    Participant

    I SENT AWAY SOME SNAPS OF ME 18TH BIRTHDAY AND GOT SOMEONE’S BUTTSKIING HOLLY HOP BACK INSTEAD

    Deleted scene from Timeslides in which Lister steps back in time to visit Rob Grant’s opening address to an online Red Dwarf fan convention in February 2021.

    #264508

    PLEASE RUSH ME A BUTTSKI POLISHING KIT

    Rimmer sets up a Bulgarian mail order business sending out the 3rd of every 3 sheets of toilet paper.

    #264509
    Dave
    Participant

    I HAVE GIVEN PLEASURE TO THE WORLD BECAUSE I HAVE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL BUTTSKI

    Rob Grant checks the Idea For An Episode thread and is delighted to see so many people enjoying riffing on his bizarre bottom-related turn of phrase.

    #264510
    Jenuall
    Participant

    BONEY BUTTSKIS OUR MOVE LETS

    Rob, Paul and Ed have to get a shift on when they’re actually commissioned to produce all of that new RD content they were banging out about

    #264511
    Dave
    Participant

    YOU BET YOUR BUTTSKI!

    When Rob Grant’s guilt chip is removed, he starts smoking and experiments with a new catchphrase.

    #264512

    THEY DON’T LIKE IT WHEN YOU’RE BUTTSKIED

    Rob Grant get very drunk and Paul tries to tell him it isn’t ok to drive.

    #264513
    Dave
    Participant

    AND ON A REALLY SPECIAL OCCASION WHEN YOU WANT TO BE REALLY MEGA-POLITE TO HIM KRYTEN, WE’RE TALKING MEGA-POLITE, IN THOSE EXCEPTIONAL CIRCUMSTANCES, YOU CAN CALL HIM “BUTTINSKI”

    Ed Bye tells Rob Grant that the title card for his latest episode won’t fit on the screen.

    #264514
    cwickham
    Participant

    BUTTINSKI THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

    New title for the version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer made in a parallel universe where Joss Whedon cast himself to play the title role.

    #264516
    Jenuall
    Participant

    BUTTSKI SUNDAY

    Lister demonstrates that an expert command of the French lavatory squat golf swing isn’t his only sporting skill as the crew take part in a special edition of soapsud slalom

    #264517
    Dave
    Participant

    WE WANT RED DWARF FLYING OUT OF, ER, BRONSKI BEAT

    In meetings with HBO over the US remake of Red Dwarf, Rob is put on the spot when he is asked who he would like to record the theme tune for the new version. He panics and picks the first name that comes to mind, having been listening to a certain 1980s synth-pop trio in the car earlier that day.

    #264518
    Warbodog
    Participant

    BEAVIS AND BUTTSKI

    Unexpected reworking of the quarantine commentary format. Rob Grant is joined by a crude cartoon character contributing semi-unintelligible observations on Red Dwarf IV.

    #264519
    Dave
    Participant

    IKSTTUB

    What Cat’s poo goes into on Backwards Earth.

    #264535
    Warbodog
    Participant

    YOUR CORRUPTED FILES ARE WHAT MAKE UwU

    Following a power surge, Kryten gets obsessed with kawaii.

    #264536

    YOUR CORRUPTED FILED ARE WHAT MIKE PEW PEW

    When Kryten starts making toy space laser gun sounds, Lister finds the root cause of the problem.

    #264543
    Russ L
    Participant

    WE WANT READ DWARF FLYING OUT OF OUR MUTTSKI

    In an Adamsian twist, some sort of accident of scale across alternate realities leads to Red Dwarf being swallowed by the Dog from “Parallel Universe”. Our plucky heroes escape.

    #264544
    Russ L
    Participant

    BUTTSKI

    The Dwarfers encounter yet another planet that is shaped by Rimmer’s brain, but this time he can’t stop thinking about his own arse. Lister uses the opportunity to try to teach Kryten the rudiments of downhill slalom.

    #264545
    Russ L
    Participant

    I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH WAR, BOYS

    Alternative title for Meltdown that will appear on the 4K boxset.

    I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH WARHAMMER, BOYS

    Alternative title for Meltdown that will appear on the 40k boxset.

    #264561
    Warbodog
    Participant

    WE WANT RED DWARF COMING OUT OF KOCHANSKI

    Rob and Paul sign up to DeviantArt.

    #264562
    Dave
    Participant

    WE WANT RED DWARF COMING OUT

    Rob Grant decides that in his next Red Dwarf novel he will reveal that all the characters are gay.

    #264563
    Dave
    Participant

    WE WANT RED DWARF COMING, OUT

    Rob Grant rips all the pages with sex scenes out of his copy of Last Human.

    #264564
    Dave
    Participant

    WE WANT RED DWARF COMBING

    Rob Grant signs off on Red Dwarf merchandise that includes a Dave Lister Male Grooming Setâ„¢.

    #264565
    Dave
    Participant

    WE WANT RED DWARF.COM

    GNP faces an embarrassing fight for the Red Dwarf website after accidentally letting the domain name rights lapse and getting targeted by cybersquatters.

    #264567
    cwickham
    Participant

    WE WANT I’M COMING OUT

    Rob Grant expresses a desire to own a particular Diana Ross song.

    #264606
    Jenuall
    Participant

    THAT WARRANTS TWO SEASONS OF W.O.O.C

    Rob Grant earns the commission for two seasons of new Red Dwarf under the restriction that it must be With Out Original Cast

    #264613
    Warbodog
    Participant

    THAT WARRANTS TWO SEASONS OF W.O.O.F

    Rimmer forces his shipmates to endure the latter years of a 1990s children’s weredog drama where the cast isn’t even the same any more.

    #264614
    Dave
    Participant

    THAT WARRANTS TWO MINUTES OF WHOO

    Red Dwarf studio audiences are given explicit written instructions on exactly how to react every time Norman Lovett’s Holly is reintroduced to the show.

    #264615
    Jenuall
    Participant

    THAT WARRANTS TWO EPISODES OF WOOF!

    After an incident involving <the matter paddle/teleporter/time drive> (delete as appropriate) the crew unexpectedly end up in the company of none other than Captain Flashheart

    #264617
    Warbodog
    Participant

    THAT WARRANTS TWO HOURS OF W.W.W

    Rimmer punishes his shipmates by reading out a list of website addresses circa 1992 with period-accurate painstaking unfamiliarity.

    #264630
    cwickham
    Participant

    THAT WARRANTS TWO HOURS OF WWE

    Rimmer makes the other Dwarfers wrestle to the death for televised entertainment.

    #264631
    cwickham
    Participant

    THAT WARRANTS TWO HOURS OF WWF

    Lister makes everyone donate to the World Wide Fund for Nature.

    #264632
    cwickham
    Participant

    THAT WARRANTS TWO HOURS OF WWII

    Rimmer forces everyone to take part in his World War II re-enactment society.

    #264633
    cwickham
    Participant

    THAT WARRANTS TWO HOURS OF WTF

    Rimmer forces everyone to read the “Idea for an episode” thread.

    #264634

    THAT WARRANTS TWO HOURS OF WWJD

    Rimmer forces everyone to attend the Sunday church service.

    #264635
    Dave
    Participant

    THAT WARRANTS TWO HOURS OF P.O.O.

    TV channel Dave reveals the running order for Red Dwarf Night 2021, with a four-episode marathon voted for by fans that comprises Krytie TV, Pete Part One, Pete Part Two and Timewave.

    #264636
    cwickham
    Participant

    THAT WARRANTS TWO HOURS OF DNA

    Dave accidentally runs the same episode three times in a row.

    #264637
    Jenuall
    Participant

    FOR GOD’S SAKE, GIVE ME AN EPIC PLURAL!

    Lister’s tenure as host of Countdown gets off to a bad start when he begins berating contestants

    #264638
    Dave
    Participant

    FOR GOD’S SAKE, GIVE ME AN EPICURE’S DELIGHT!

    Lister elaborately asks Cat to pass the salt.

    #264640
    Jenuall
    Participant

    FOR GOD’S SAKE, GIVE ME AN EPIPEN!

    In a return to the more “dramatic” style of story from series VII Doug writes an episode where the Cat nearly dies from anaphylactic shock. The mood is lightened by some fart gags at the end.

    #264643
    Dave
    Participant

    FOR DOG’S SAKE, GIVE ME AN EPILOGUE!

    Red Dwarf fans are bewildered by the way that Cat’s counterpart in Parallel Universe just seems to disappear from the story altogether at some point and isn’t given any kind of payoff or final scene.

    #264644
    cwickham
    Participant

    FOR GOD’S SAKE, GIVE ME AN EPIDEME!

    Dave plan to repeat all of Series VII, but discover their copy of one episode is missing at the last minute.

    #264645
    Warbodog
    Participant

    FOR DOUG’S SAKE, GIVE ME AN APPLE JAWBREAKER

    A runner on the Red Dwarf set is sent to scour sweet shops so that Mr Naylor’s Japanese rice wine can be prepared to his eccentric taste.

    #264646
    Dave
    Participant

    FOR “YES, GOD?”‘S SAKE, GIVE ME AN EDIT

    Viewers of The End Remastered object to Holly’s superfluous added line towards the end.

    #264649
    cwickham
    Participant

    THAT WARRANTS TWO HOURS WITHOUT GMB

    The Dwarfers travel back in time to have Piers Morgan fired, only to find he has finally done something so repulsive ITV have done the job for them.

    #264652
    Dave
    Participant

    MY GOD, ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE A FLYING LEAP?

    Rimmer wonders how Lister will get out of the hole he falls down at the end of Justice.

    #264653
    Dave
    Participant

    MY GOD, ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE A FLYING SHEEP?

    Rimmer wonders what animals Lister will have on his farm on Fiji.

    #264654
    Dave
    Participant

    MY GOD, ARE YOU GOING TO TASTE A FRYING LEEK?

    Rimmer expresses surprise when Lister shows interest in eating a vegetable.

    #264655
    Dave
    Participant

    MY GOD, ARE YOU WATCHING GIVE & TAKE FIVE TIMES A WEEK?

    Chris Barrie suggests that fans of the Dave era’s best episode may have gone a little too far.

    #264656
    cwickham
    Participant

    CALVIN AND HOBBESHIP

    The Dwarfers come across a ship captained by Spaceman Spiff, who turns out to be a five-year-old boy with a really, *really* overactive imagination.

    #264657

    HOBNOBSHIP

    The crew encounter a ship composed of and controlled entirely by Hob Nobs.

    Is this product placement gone too far?

    #264658
    Dave
    Participant

    ROLLOSHIP

    Animated crossover with King Rollo.

    #264659
    Dave
    Participant

    MY GOD, ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE A DYING WEEP?

    Chris Barrie makes snide comments about Mark Dexter’s acting while filming Howard’s final scene in Trojan.

    #264660
    Dave
    Participant

    MY GOD, ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE A CRYING SLEEP?

    Rimmer gets worried about Lister’s increasingly disturbing nightmares in Confidence & Paranoia.

    #264661
    Dave
    Participant

    MY GOD, ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE A LYING CREEP?

    Lister boots up Yvonne McGruder’s hologram to ask why she slept with Rimmer.

    #264662

    THNKS FR TH MEMRS

    Fallout Boy are tasked with producing the copy for the 8k UHD laser disc boxset

    #264663
    Warbodog
    Participant

    YOYOSHIT

    Cat foolishly visits the bushes on Backwards-Forwards-Backwards-Forwards Earth.

    #264664
    Dave
    Participant

    IT’S TUESDAY NIGHT, IT’S AMATEUR HAM-HEAD MORGAN REMOVAL NIGHT

    Rimmer travels back to March 2021 and reacts to the news about one of Good Morning Britain’s hosts being asked to leave the show.

    #264665
    si
    Participant

    ROLOSHIP

    Nirvanah Crane gives up her hologramatic life so that Rimmer can achieve his dream of becoming an officer. Rimmer asks to be sent back to Red Dwarf, and for her to be reinstated.
    He leaves his last chocolate for her.

    #264666
    Russ L
    Participant

    YOLOSHIP

    Rimmer attempts to justify erratic behaviour by pointing out that “you only live once”. Kryten points out the flaw in this reasoning.

    #264667
    clem
    Participant

    HOLLERSHIP

    Half an hour of everyone just shouting.

    #264668
    clem
    Participant

    DOLOCHIMP

    Those Gelfs in Last Human turn up in an episode.

    #264669

    YOLOCHIMP

    A chimp high on life boards Red Dwarf and insists on doing lots of really unsafe things in the name of the selfie.

    #264670
    Ridley
    Participant

    STOP THE IDEA FOR AN EPISODE I WANT TO GET OFF

    #Ooh! Help me, Dr Asclepius!
    #…from Irene E through Chimpanski
    #…oh my cloche, I was wrong, it was maaah all along…

    #264673
    Jenuall
    Participant

    FOMOSHIP

    Despite being alone in deep space Lister still finds himself getting anxious that he’s somehow missing out on stuff

    #264674
    Dave
    Participant

    FIMOSHIP

    Lister builds himself a miniature Red Dwarf out of modelling clay and then cooks it in the oven for 20 minutes so it goes hard.

    #264675

    FIND MY SHIP

    After Lister loses Red Dwarf by forgetting where he parked it, he partners with Apple to develop an app that will always tell him where his space vehicles are.

    #264676

    FOLLOW THE RIMMER SHAPED BURR

    Bill Burr inexplicably body swaps with Rimmer and then runs off with his new holographic body. Rimmer, realising he actually quite likes his body, calls for everyone to chase him down

    #264677

    FOLLOW THE RIMMER SHAPED DERN

    Sequel to ‘Follow the Rimmer Shaped Burr’, but guest staring Laura Dern.

    #264678

    FOLLOW THE RIMMER SHAPED BAIRN

    Part three in an extensive series of Rimmer having his body stolen, this time be a small Scottish child.

    #264682
    cwickham
    Participant

    FEE-FI-FO-FUMSHIP

    Lister buys some magic beans, which Rimmer throws away, only for them to grow into a beanstalk which Lister climbs to find a spaceship with a faster-than-light drive. Episode abandoned after it is pointed out that the beans have nothing to grow in, and the beanstalk would cause a critical hull breach that would kill everyone on board Red Dwarf.

    #264683

    FOLLOW THE RIMMER SHAPED CERN

    Has science gone too far? Part four sees the crew stumble across the last remnants of humanity. The scientists of CERN who had been locked up in the depths of the planet when it farted it way off into outer space. They continued their work and discovered, much to their amusement, that by designing the Hadron Collider in the shape of the second lowest ranking member of the Space Corp they could produce the God Particle.

    Once activated, they become quantum entangled with Arnold Rimmer, get pulled forward 3 million years into the future and start to praise Arnie as a God.

    When things inevitably start to go wrong and the universe starts to collapse in on itself, the brave CERN scientists decide to sacrifice themselves by forcing their Rimmer shaped LHC to break it’s quantum lock and return them to their own time where they can destroy the machine and save the universe.

    Rimmer, obviously upset at their departure shows “Follow the Rimmer shaped CERN” in order to fulfil the episode title pun requirements of this post.

    #264684

    THIS LITTLE PIGGY WENT TO MAAAAARRRRGGGGGGKET

    Butler babysits for some GELFs and tells them a little story about pigs going to maaaaaaarrrrrgggggkets.

    #264685
    Dave
    Participant

    ARNOLD RIMMER, HIS LOCKER, THIS MORNING

    Rob and Doug invent a new Red Dwarf-based version of Cluedo.

    #264693

    RED DWARF: WIMBLEDON

    GNP come under fire for release a tie in game where the sole objective is to seduce a 17 year old ball girl.

Viewing 100 posts - 9,201 through 9,300 (of 12,289 total)
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