Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

DAVID SCHWIMMER RIMMER

Rimmer binge watches all of the popular late 20th century sit-com Friends and becomes obsessed with the actor David Schwimmer. He orders Holly to change his visual projection to that of David Schwimmer.

Guest starring the man that stole a crate of beer from that shop last year as David Schwimmer.

[Dave]

SHOPPING LISTER

Lister goes to the Red Dwarf branch of Tesco.

[Dave]

TOP TEN LISTER

The Inquisitor names his ten favourite potential-replacement-Listers.

[Dave]

A-LISTER CELEBRITY

Lister inadvertently becomes famous after a YouTube video of him ironing sneezes goes viral.

[Dave]

LISTER WITHOUT PREJUDICE

When George Michael is beamed on board Red Dwarf, Lister makes everyone uncomfortable by telling him about ‘Bent Bob’.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

LIST ER

After binging every episode of ER, Lister sets about ranking all 331 episodes in order of his favourites

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

L IST R

Taiwan Tony gives Rimmer a tutorial in German on perfecting a Chinesey accent.

[Moonlight]

LESTER

Lister’s long-lost brother Lester is found bumming for change on Planet Rimmer.

[Moonlight]

LISTER2

Lister’s other long-lost brother, Bister, moves into the bunk next door and won’t stop playing the guitar. Rimmer is forced to call in cousin Jimmer to tag-team the eviction. Meanwhile, Cat’s rich uncle Fat dies and leaves him a million hoes – but only on the condition he takes his off his wig for 24 hours.

[Moonlight]

YOU’RE MESSING UP MY…HAIR?

The classic Series XIII bunkroom two-hander in which Lister and Cat watch Officer Rimmer and argue over whether Chris Barrie is wearing a wig.

[Moonlight]

TAIWAN TONY: A TRIBUTE

After Taiwan Tony is sent to Silicon Hell for being really racist, probably, maybe, unless his being offensive was the joke, I don’t know, Lister unearths the machine’s self-made video eulogy in an old trunk. It features a long-form video essay about how microwavable food is worthless, interspersed with instruction manual readings and ending with a dramatic recording of his final moments being dispatched by fourteen chainsaw-wielding skutters.

[Moonlight]

THE SLIME’S CUMMING ALONE

Lister engages in his favorite hobby.

[Moonlight]

THE SLIME’S DYING ALONE

Red Dwarf’s devastating series finale.

[Moonlight]

THE SLIME’S STRUMMING HIS BONE

Lister’s corpse returns to masturbating in the form of a mock guitar solo.

[Moonlight]

THE SLIME’S GUMMING THE PHONE

Lister accidentally aims at the landline instead of the bucket.

[Moonlight]

THE SLIME’S BUMMING TO ATONE

Lister attempts to reconcile for his sinful sexual deviancy by declaring a vow of poverty.

[Dave]

LISTER-IRENE

Lister and Irene E team up to invent a new brand of mouthwash. Unfortunately she is hilariously killed before they can develop the idea.

[Dave]

RELISTER

Lister allows eBay to automatically renew his various auctions after the items once again fail to sell.

[Dave]

LISTER’S SISTER

Awful canon-shattering episode in which Kochanski is casually retconned as actually being Lister’s sibling, not his former girlfriend and/or unrequited crush.

[Dave]

FISTER

Eye-wateringly explicit yet utterly grim and unerotic episode dealing with the crew’s increasingly unusual sexual predilections.

[Dave]

MISTER

Lister finally snaps and tells Kryten to just call him Dave.

[Dave]

BLISTER

Lister’s new boots need breaking in.

[Dave]

TWISTER

The crew play the popular colour-based body-part-movement game. Kryten wins yet again as he can detach parts of his body at will.

[Dave]

B-LISTER

Les Dennis guest-stars.

[Dave]

WURLITZER

Rimmer branches out into different types of organ music.

[Pete Part Three]

THE ENDGAME

When The Inquisitor erases half the crew from existence with his gauntlet, Lister and Kryten plot to avenge them by [Spoilers Spoilers Spoilers] goat.

[Pete Part Three]

JUSTICE LEAGUE

Zack Snyder does a gritty reboot of a celebrated Red Dwarf IV episode, fails to understand the characters and decides to have Rimmer gleefully confessing to mass-murder. Paul Alexander is brought in to polish it up to Series VIII standard. SFX says it’s “Red Dwarf back on form” and a dog does a piss up a tree.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

MOTHERS AND MOONS

A spacial anomaly rips Rimmer’s mother out of time and propels her 3million years into the future, aboard Red Dwarf. Rimmer has a deep heart to heart with her about his upbringing and his biological father, Dennis.

Lister meanwhile dons a space suit and attempts to moon the pair of them through the sleeping quarters window.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

ABSENT PARENTS AND ASTEROIDS

Cat, Lister, and Rimmer get drunk and have a deep conversation about not growing up with their real parents. Holly tries to join in but no one cares she never had a mum neither because she’s just a computer. Kryten gets quite upset at this lack of sympathy and diverts Red Dwarf into an asteroid storm in an attempt to end it all ….

TO BE CONTINUED

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BROJAM

9 years later and the conclusion to the previous episode is left unresolved. Meanwhile, after a new found connection and respect for each other following their chat about growing up without their real parents, Cat, Lister and Rimmer have enjoyed making preserves once a week to enjoy at the daily breakfasts.

Kryten, still in a sulk, has resulted to using Otrazone to numb the dull pain loneliness brings.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

SPACE JAM

Basketball legend Michael Jordan beams aboard Red Dwarf and challenges the crew to shoot a few hoops.

Having played this game before, they spike his drink with viagra and a spike in retina dislocation is recorded that night at NHS hospitals across the country as hundreds of fans roll their eyes really hard all at the same time

[bloodteller]

SILICORNEA

Lister and Rimmer replace Ackerman’s glass eye with a rubber ball, for a laugh.

[cwickham]

SILLY CORN ‘ERE

Lister draws everyone’s attention to some amusingly shaped grain.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

SILLY CON ERA

New title for series viii to appeal on a box set somewhere

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE APPEAR?

Forum user notices a silly, but tangential related spelling error in their idea for an episode

[Jawscvmcdia]

MODERN SPACE-AGE FAMILY!

The Red Dwarf crew stumble upon a frozen pod and decide to unfreeze it. Inside, they discover Fred Flintstone, a caveman who has been frozen in time. Now, millions of years in the future, Fred has to adjust to a new life aboard Red Dwarf, but it doesn’t all go to plan. For instance, Fred and Lister begin to get on each other’s nerves after finding themselves so similar to each other. In the end, they challenge each other to a dance off to the death – whoever wins, stays.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

SO YOU THINK WILMER IS SEXY?

Lister and Cat repeat their series 3 opening dialogue word for word upon meeting Wilmer and Betty

[Pete Part Three]

JAWSCVMCDIA : THE REVENGE

Just when you thought it was safe to go in the forum.

[Jawscvmcdia]

THE END (I MEAN IT THIS TIME):

Lister and Rimmer get so sick of each other that they have a fight to the death. There can only be one winner, but whoever wins, we lose.

[si]

THE END

The whole Idea for an episode thread turns out to be an elaborate April Fools prank.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

SEPTEMBER OCTOBER NOVEMBER DECEMBER JANUARY FEBRUARY MARCH APRIL MAY JUNE JULY AUGUST SEPTEMBER OCTOBER NOVEMBER DECEMBER JANUARY FEBRUARY MARCH APRIL MAY JUNE JULY AUGUST SEPTEMBER OCTOBER NOVEMBER DECEMBER JANUARY FEBRUARY MARCH APRIL FOOL

Titled of the idea for an episode thread April Fool prank reveal to reflect the long con started in September 2016.

[si]

the long con started in September 2016

I realise that. That’s what makes it so elaborate.

[si]

This should be the time that I reveal myself to be smoke me a kipper and did, in fact, start the whole thread in the first place.

Sadly, I’m not, and I didn’t.

OR AM I?

OR DIDN’T I?

OR DID I?

No.

OR AM I?

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

SI SCAN

Forum members use the Si Scan, to make sure he is ok and not going a little strange.

[bloodteller]

BACK IN THE RED PART 3 & KNUCKLES

A lock-on cartridge that allows the viewer to watch the entire Back In The Red saga in one long feature-length episode, as well as the ability to replace all the main characters with the infamous enchidna from the third Sonic The Hedgehog game.

[bloodteller]

SCHOOL OF ROCK IN THE RED

Dewey Finn and the band beam onboard the ship and play a killer gig for the posse. Lister is convinced he can play better but this is in fact not true

[bloodteller]

ONE MORE IDEA FOR AN EPISODE- I NEED (YOU)

Forum user Bloodteller hastily comes up with really weak ideas for episodes just so they can snag the ‘4,691 irradiated haggis’ gag in the next post.

[bloodteller]

4,691 IRRADIATED SHITPOSTS

Fucking finally, I’ve been waiting since Page 7 to make this joke. Shame I didn’t actually think of an idea to go along with the title, but still.

[si]

OR DID I?

[Jawscvmcdia]

HURDY-GURDY

The crew encounters a strange man playing a medieval instrument, who will not stop playing the same three notes. They have to figure out some way of getting him to stop playing the damn thing!

[Author]

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