Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[bloodteller]

NOBSNATCHER- Unmade episode of VIII which sees Kryten go around the cells stealing the penises of all the male prisoners so the JMC has to update their hideously oudated rules regarding gender identity. The episode ends with Kryten reluctantly giving up his pile of severed dicks, throwing them over the balcony only to land on Ackerman’s girlfriend as he’s proposing to her

[cwickham]

THE BOOMTOWN UTTER TWATS

Rimmer releases a cover version of I Don’t Like Mondays, which his brother Howard passes judgement on.

[Dave]

BOBBYSWAP

Robert Llewellyn is disappointed when Kryten is recast for Series XIII, with Bob Geldof in the role.

[Dave]

GELD OF WORMS

Bob Geldof is seduced by a Polymorph and fathers several children with it.

[Dave]

WALLOWSHIP

Rimmer gives up his life on Red Dwarf to join the crew of a ship that is flooded up to thigh level.

[Dave]

SOLOSHIP

Rimmer gives up his life on Red Dwarf to live on another ship on his own.

[Dave]

FOMOSHIP

Afraid he may be absent from some fun adventures, Rimmer rejoins the crew of Red Dwarf.

[Dave]

FIMOSHIP

Rimmer discovers that Red Dwarf is secretly made from bakeable modelling clay.

[cwickham]

IDEA FOR AN EPISODE-CORP

Lots of really awful, lazy jokes appear in this thread as it gets within 100 posts of a new page.

[cwickham]

HOLOCORP

Everything not made by the titular company appears transparent to Lister.

[cwickham]

SEGA-CORP

Lister can only play video games starring a blue hedgehog.

[cwickham]

NEGA-CORP

The only episode of Red Dwarf Lister can ever watch again is “Beyond a Joke”.

[cwickham]

VARGA-CORP

The only Doctor Who serial Lister can ever watch again is “The Daleks’ Master Plan”.

[cwickham]

WAGGA WAGGA-CORP

Lister is stranded in an Australian city.

[cwickham]

JÄGER-CORP

The only alcohol Lister can ever drink again is a certain type of bomb drink.

[cwickham]

JAEGER-CORP

The only Doctor Who stories Lister can ever watch again are “The Savages”, “Planet of Evil” and “The Invisible Enemy”.

[cwickham]

THANKS FOR THE YESTERDAY

Rimmer wakes up to discover he is the only person in the universe who can remember Lise Yates.

[cwickham]

BACK TO YESTERDAY

The Cat wakes up to discover he is the only person in the universe who can remember Duane Dibbley.

[cwickham]

NANARCHESTERDAY

Paul Alexander wakes up to discover he is the only person who can remember the last episode of Series VII fondly.

[cwickham]

KRYESTERDAYIE TV

Basically the same joke as the last one, to be honest

[cwickham]

MECHOCRACERDAY

Kryten discovers he is the only person who can remember his being elected Machine President, which explains why it never comes up again after that episode.

[cwickham]

STARK NOT

Lister puts some clothes on.

[Dave]

QUEGG

Queeg returns in the form of an egg.

[Dave]

SQUEEG

Queeg is constantly singing “Up The Junction”, “Cool For Cats” and “Pulling Muscles From The Shell”, much to the chagrin of all.

[Dave]

PEARLY QUEEG

Queeg adopts a cockney accent.

[Dave]

9½ QUEEGS

Steamy erotic episode in which Queeg and Holly have an affair.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

TAYLORFORM

The Danny crash lands on a psi-moon and is terrorised by Taylor Swift in a cat costume until the crew arrive to boost his ego by telling him he is the best fake humanoid cat there is.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

SWIFTCORP

Taylor Swift, upset that there is a more majestical fake humanoid cat in pop-culture, makes Dannny and all other humanoid cats in popculture invisible so you can only admire her catty work

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

CAT-OCRACY

Everyone votes on who their favourite cat is. Unfortunately, due to an effort by lonely internet trolls, Cat Deeley is voted number 1.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

CATS TO REALITY

The cast of Cats wake up to find out they have just been playing characters in a movie for the past few months.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

TAYLOR TOASTER

David Ross’ toaster in White Hole and Mechocracy is re-dubbed with the voice of Taylor Swift for no particular reason and to the consternation of everyone

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

SWIFTCONICA

Siliconia but with a ship manned by cat people lead by Taylor Swift, convincing Cat to join them and turning everyone else into Cat. They suddenly become more concerned about clothes, licking their laundry and shitting in peoples shoes.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

CATS-SANDRA

A group of cats falsly predict the future to punish Lister for killing them at the end of the episode.

[Pete Part Three]

CAT’S

The Cat does a shit in Rimmer’s boot. James Corden guest stars.

As the shit.

Do you see?

[cwickham]

ME!²

Me² but with the part of the second Rimmer played by Taylor Swift.

[cwickham]

CORDEN OF WORMS

Can of Worms but with the major guest role played by James Corden as Bustopher Jones. The episode abruptly ends a few minutes in when the crew shoot him to death the moment he appears onscreen.

[cwickham]

LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME² DO

Remake of Officer Rimmer with all the other Rimmers played by Taylor Swift in different costumes.

[cwickham]

ME!NA

New version of DNA where the DNA machine turns Kryten into Taylor Swift.

[cwickham]

ROLOSHIP

The Dwarfers encounter a ship made entirely of little round chocolates with toffee in them.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BACK TO DECEMBER

Taylor Swift wakes up having plays an AR game for 4 years where it is never December.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

ITS COLD AS YOU OUTSIDE

Taylor Swift re-records the closing credit song

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

DEAR JOHN

Taylor Swift gets a letter that she may have got an ex pregnant in a parallel universe, and hunts through the post pod for confirmation.

Meanwhile, Cat needs a shit.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

DIMENSION JUMP THEN FALL

Taylor Swift jumps dimensions and falls over

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

OURSONGOROS

With newly mined Taylor Swift puns going around and round ‘ideas for an episode’, the thread can never become extinct

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

TWO IS BETTER THAN ONE

Me2 is edited to replace Taylor Swift in all of Rimmer’s scenes

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

TWENTYTWOTICA

The crew travel back to 2015 where they find Taylor Swift has been banned her music, and must convince her to remove the streaming restriction

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

TWENTIYTWOTICA 2

Exactly the same as before, but with the important added detail that she has banned her music from appearing Apple Music

[cwickham]

GIVE AND TAKE IT OFF

New version of Give and Take where Snacky is voiced by Taylor Swift.

[cwickham]

BACK IN THE RED

The nanobots reconstruct Taylor Swift’s fourth album.

[cwickham]

THE END GAME

New version of The End where the last human alive is, instead of David Lister, Taylor Swift.

[Author]

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