PLOTS FOR SERIES 11

[Pecospete666]

PLOTS FOR SERIES 11?

I would like to see serious bad guys in some sort of in ship battle!

Topic

[genericnerdyusername]

I choose No Dibbley.

[Blisschick]

>Blisschick drinking that white lightning again?

Only because you’ve driven me to it.

[Ridley]

All the vending machines form a UN and put trade sanctions on the crew for upsetting the French and Chinese delegates.

[JamesTC]

Taiwan Tony takes over Red Dwarf and begins to transform the ship into a giant fortune cookie. Meanwhile Lister can’t get free of a Chinese finger trap.

[Jonsmad]

In reply, yes, I did mention twice in other threads I think, that the sitcom i refered to in the set report was Gerald in the midst, episode of “Nightinggales” which had a gorillia joining the cast, as a guest.

So In Red Dwarf XI I want cat to turn into a werewolf.

[peas_and_corn]

A businessman convinces Lister that Red Dwarf needs a monorail

[Ben Paddon]

Fed up of getting food from vending machines, the Dwarfers decide to head down to the ship’s forgotten nightlife district and eat at a Chinese restaurant on their way to the ship’s cinema, only to find the AI serving the front counter insists the place is full and they’ll have to wait for a table.

[Ridley]

Over the course of one evening, Lister finds himself on a losing streak to Rimmer when the Second Technician shows an uncanny talent for table tennis.

Determined to win, Lister demands a rematch. However, the ship’s autocorrect sends out the message that he “had never given a smeg about Ping Ping before tonight.” leading to an uncomfortable situation with Red Dwarf’s Chinatown AI.

[Phil]

A woman shows up and they all sit around masturbating.

[genericnerdyusername]

If they don’t have every version of Rimmer in the 50th Anniversary special then fuck Naylor and his giant ego for betraying the fans.

[Connell]

Pre-titles sequences, Lister is sat in the drive room, a foreign object appears on the scanner. Kryten informs Lister is appears to be a blue police box heading straight towards them. Lister immediately destroys it.

[Connell]

The creator informs the Dwarfers he is no longer interested in the type of audience they attract anymore.

[Seb Patrick]

I want an episode where it’s revealed to the cast that their entire lives are a TV show.

And that TV show is Michael Barrymore’s Strike it Lucky.

[Ridley]

Things backfire for Kryten when he tries an experimental robo-curry, threatening the local seabird population.

[Tarka Dal]

How about an episode where Kryten is human and everyone else blacks up?

[takerdemon]

Lister uses a jet ski to jump over a giant shark on an ocean planet

[HelloMabel]

The crew travel to a city called Birmingham in the year 2013. They land in a small hotel room with 17 people spouting bollocks and recording themselves. Kryten whips out his sci-scan and hilarity ensues.

[anniescribe]

… And then they realize it’s in Alabama and the 17 people are the entirety of a Safeway sales convention. :-P

[Connell]

The crew find Ackerman living in one of the cargo bays, having lost his eye centuries ago. It’s up the crew to hunt down Ackerman’s eye in time for his date with Taiwan Tracy! Graham McTavish guests.

[Pecospete666]

DWARFS! there’s no dwarfs in Red Dwarf! A episode featuring a dwarf or dwarfs would be appropriate. Should be Native American Dwarfs, then it would truly be Red Dwarf!

[Ben Paddon]

The crew find Kochanski when they discover that not only has she been using Twitter over the last couple of years, but she’d forgotten to turn location tracking off. Kochanski is once again recast, this time portrayed by Patricia Routledge.

[Phil]

The crew journey to America in the year 2016, where they find Pecos Pete and Ben Paddon living together for financial reasons. The episode serves as a backdoor pilot for “Pecos ‘n’ Paddon: Murder Detectives” and as such finds them working together to solve the mystery of who killed Archie. In the B-plot Lister has graphic intercourse with Ben’s refrigerator.

[Ridley]

Dispenser 34 reveals that she is pregnant with Lister’s child but the fruit of their loins gets caught in the mechanism. Guest appearance by Gynae-Bot.

[Pete Part Three]

Lister discovers that the human race isn’t extinct after all. They were all just hiding.

[Jonsmad]

An Episode set entirely in the woods, made up of White Hole like time dilation loop problems faithfully re-created using the drop frames of the red cameras.

[Yaron Ru]

I think that that guy that Craig Charles plays will be in it.

He might eat curry. Or mention it.

[JamesTC]

Kryten gets more RAM. Hilarious consequences.

[tanya]

They stop trying to advance the show and make it look like it did back in series 6! That’s not a plot though.. as for plot they kill off kochanski!! ^_^

[Ridley]

The Dwarfers discover the terrible truth that Red Dwarf is, in actuality, a miming ship.

[Connell]

The Dwarfers almost find another Stasis leak and have to avoid their past selves in footage taken from earlier series’, until they realize the budget won’t cover it. The stasis leak timely disappears and Lister fucks a Portuguese tin opener instead.

[anniescribe]

Hey, as each actor has at least one son; they could film flashbacks that way. Although it’d probably get weird when Lister is almost twice as tall and years older than Rimmer … but that can be explained away by timey-wimey. Or that Rimmer’s boothing has just been working really super well …

[Pete Part Three]

Kochanski celebrates her 32nd Birthday with a party, gets drunk and fucks The Cat. Meanwhile. Kryten discovers he has early onset-Droid rot and struggles to come to terms with the news. And Rimmer waits in all day for a postpod to be delivered – but it never turns up.

[clem]

Spare Hand One goes berserk and molests a coffee machine. Meanwhile Rimmer takes up topiary and Lister finally looks up ‘iguana’ in the dictionary.

[tanya]

heheh wow mine was serious guess that is not the name of the game ^_^

[peas_and_corn]

In a bizarre retooling, the Dwarfers are given morphers to have the powers to become the Dwarf Power Rangers. They fight GELFs and the ship becomes a humanoid robot somehow.

[anniescribe]

“Somehow.” And this, kids, is how sci-fi was born – “Somehow, there has to be something worse than a monster … I know, the asshole doctor who created him!”

(Don’t mind me, I’m just missing some sleep. Stupid epiphanies with dumb timing. I just want an episode with Cat race survivors …)

[si]

the Dwarfers are given morphers to have the powers to become the Dwarf Power Rangers

Mighty Dwarfin’ Power Rangers.

[Phil]

“the Dwarfers are given morphers”

I thought you were going to start rapping. :(

[Ridley]

Rimmer declares himself emperor and changes all of Red Dwarf’s systems so that the ship runs to the new Rimmerian calendar. On Arnday, the ship is pulled through a time hole. They don’t know when they are when they are approached by a species of GEL-Th who Generally Eat Lifeforms on Thursdays thus leading to a race against time maybe.

[Pete Part Three]

Kochanski dies.

[Pecospete666]

“Kochanski dies”. While filming a “Little People” Porn Movie! Directed by the Cat! Working title. “Little Pussy”

7 dwarfs comes to mind!

Somebody shoot me!

[Ben Paddon]

The Dwarfers find themselves locked in a duel across time and space.

[clem]

In a Bob Newhartesque twist it turns out that all of Red Dwarf was a dream had by Captain Butler.

[Smeg4Brains]

Lister eats a curry and spills some but he doesn’t care because he’s Lister. Someone says smeg.

[evarofzentral]

Episode 1 – Hogey Part 1 – The Dwarfers face off against Hogey the Roguey in the promised cookery contest from Series X. Ainsley Harriott beams in to adjudicate only to be killed when he trips over a box and a bathtub of water falls on him. Antony Worrall Thompson replaces him, but steals the last bib from the denti-bot and havoc ensues.

Episode 2 – Hogey Part 2 – Hogey asks the crew about their past adventures, prompting Kryten and the Cat to tell Marooned from their perspective. However, they are interrupted constantly by Taiwan Tony (to the extent that we are only shown clips with them in from the original Marooned) and havoc ensues.

Episode 3 – Our robo Ross – Lister decides to change his name to Ross Lister but when the Dwarfers decide to return to the DNA ship Ross is turned into a robot and havoc ensues.

Episode 4 – Hogey Part 3.33 recurring – Captain Hollister and the rest of the non-original crew return to Red Dwarf only to find that Hogey doesn’t like them much and havoc ensues.

Episode 5 – Duct Loop – The tv channel Dave accidentally put Duct Soup on a constant loop for two days and havoc ensues.

Episode 6 – Nan-achey – In a flashback episode Ross remembers back to when his Nan had an ache in her foot and havoc ensues.

Episode 7 – 101 Kochanskis – Ross is delighted when Red Dwarf finally finds Kochanski on its scanners. However, when he, Hogey, and TT get down to the planet they soon realise they’ve got more than they bargained for. Kochanski has been cloned and the only way to find the real Kochanski is to search for the one that can stand on its hind legs like a little Rory Calhoun – havoc ensues.

Episode 8 – Rimsy TV – With Kochanski returning to the ship Rimmer sets up a pay-per-view tv service of Kochanski in the showers and havoc ensues.

Episode 9 – Last of the Summer Whine – Kryten makes the decision to stop whining about Kochanski only to go crashing down the cargo decks in a bathtub with Cat – havoc ensues.

Episode 10 – The Black Seal – Rimmer is demoted to Third Technician by King Tony and decides to assemble the seven most evil scutters on Red Dwarf in order to have his revenge. But when Rimmer’s old adversary the revolving toilet from Balance of Power comes back to haunt him havoc ensues.

Due to ten episodes being produced Series XI had to be shot exclusively in Shepperton woods to cut costs. However, this situation is not acknowledged in the series, with the characters just acting as if they are on Red Dwarf or wherever they happen to be. Nevertheless, fans will be pleased to note that perennially reliable games studio Gearbox has been hired to undertake the CGI required for the season, although they will be outsourcing some of the work to the makers of the acclaimed E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial on the Atari 2600.

[Moonlight]

Series XI opens with the reveal that Red Dwarf itself was actually projected by Rimmer’s light bee. Shortly after learning this, Taiwan Tony breaks up with Rimmer, who suffers a resentment attack causing the ship to vanish. Lister and the Cat, unable to breathe, swim to a nearby island. Then they are rescued by a passing GELF ship which takes them back to Hawaii.

In the following episode, Lister and the Cat meet a genie who grants them three wishes. The rest of the episode follows their adventures with the genie in Hawaii, which goes horribly wrong when the Cat repeatedly wishes for fish. All three wishes wasted, Lister is forced to turn the largest fish into a submarine. The rest of Series XI revolves around them driving the dead fish through the ocean, searching for Kryten while fighting off vicious head-hunters and Ernest Borgnine.

In the final episode, they find Kryten ship-wrecked on an island with Gilligan, who tags along back to Hawaii. In a shocking twist ending, they recover Rimmer’s light bee and power him back up along with Red Dwarf. The episode ends with Red Dwarf being commissioned as a cruise ship with Rimmer as captain, a set-up for the show to be retooled as the “Funtastic Arnold and Gilligan Hour” in Series XII.

[Phil]

For budgetary reasons series 11 features a bottle episode that doesn’t include any of the crew. Instead they are forced to abandon Red Dwarf (off-camera) due to an asteroid storm (off-camera) and only return at the end of the episode (off-camera).

The entirety of the half hour is given over to Taiwan Tony, the Medi-Bot and the Denti-Bot in the same room, talking about past loves and generally being really fucking annoying.

Hilarity ensues when they are joined by Kerry Shale’s newest embodiment of a lazy stereotype, Rapey the African.

[Paul Muller]

Ep.1: After a malfunction with a DNA modifier, the Dwarfers suddenly find themselves turned into women. The episode then centres around an extended joke about periods, until, whilst discussing their love of horses, men and the mystery of the offside rule, they accidentally manage to flush themselves out of an airlock like a bunch of idiots. Taiwan Tony offers the final punchline: “What a load of sluts”. Cut to credits.

[Ben Kirkham]

200.

[Seb Patrick]

Now that we’ve hit 200 I’m going to print this out and give it to Doug. So get your last few suggestions in quickly, folks!

[Author]

Replies