Bexley Heath

[Bexley Heath]

Damn it, I stumbled across this thread and now I’ve downloaded the game and it’s driving me nuts. I’ve found undeveloped slides, a slide projector, and a darkroom, but I can’t for the sodding life of me work out how to develop the slides… and I swear I’ve been in all the rooms and there’s nothing else I can do… and Holly isn’t very communicative… a little help? *weeps brokenly*

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I have already done that, Doug. It doesn’t go well because the audience needs French windows. There is now no need for you to write this plot.

I award HelloMabel one internet.

[Bexley Heath]

The winning entry:

“There once was ship that was red
Her crew, for the most part, were dead
Wiped out on a mission
By the 2nd Technician
What a total and utter SMEG HEAD!”

Jeeeeezus. IMHO, that’s rubbish. I can see why they’d choose to pick something so obvious and unoriginal as the winner, since the T&Cs implied they might use it in marketing. But still, I reckon there should be a follow-up competition which actually encourages the kind of witty micro-referencing that’s been going on in this thread (e.g. Clem’s effort).

…Not that I’m bitter…

[Bexley Heath]

To make their show pre-watershed
Rob and Doug coined the swearword “smeghead”
But innocent mentions
by kids at conventions
are something the cast’s come to dread.

When fanficcers write about Rimsy
the pretexts are always quite flimsy
When thinking of Listy
his eyes go all misty
What happens next goes beyond whimsy.

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Red Dwarf scripts are written quite witt’ly
But they’re almost as funny done shitly
The Smegups are great stuff
I just can’t get enough
Of watching Chris Barrie say “chitley”.

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As someone else on this forum mentioned, he’s kind of had his fangs taken out in this series anyway, which was a shame. At least it would give a bit of justification in XI for Doug continuing to not write him like a proper bastard any more.

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>>Who *is* Hogey’s brother?

>The Cat. This is revealed in a holo-message in XI.6 – The Middle, thus fucking around with some more backstory to service 15 minutes of plotting.

That pretty much made me hyperventilate with laughter.

[Author]

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