Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Idea for an episode.

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  • #265576

    ONLY THE EGG…

    Red Dwarf is attacked by mutant eggs.

    #265577

    FUCK MY ARSE PAGE 101 ETC

    #265578
    clem
    Participant

    MATHAUS

    Spiritual successor to Lemons.

    #265579
    Dave
    Participant

    THE FIRST TEN THOUSAND POSTS

    Three-hour documentary explaining how the fuck the Idea For An Episode thread got to this point.

    #265580
    cwickham
    Participant

    TEN THOUSAND THUNDERING TYPHOONS

    Polite version of what Ian Symes says when he logs on and sees how many posts this thread has now.

    #265581
    cwickham
    Participant

    APPROXIMATELY TEN THOUSAND POSTS LATER

    smoke me a kipper returns to the forum and is horrified by the world they find themselves in.

    #265582
    cwickham
    Participant

    CRY-TEN THOUSAND

    An expression of disbelief as to just how many posts there are in this thread.

    #265583
    cwickham
    Participant

    TENTHOUSANDICA

    G&T jumps into a parallel universe where a mindless shitposting thread gets ten thousand posts. Everyone is horrified to discover this reality is, in fact, their home universe.

    #265584
    Jonathan Capps
    Keymaster

    You stupid bastards.

    #265585

    YOU’VE COVERED THE WEBSITE IN COMPLETE AND UTTER NONSENSE GIBBERISH!

    Anguish starts to set in amongst G&T Admins.

    #265586
    cwickham
    Participant

    POST 19

    Extremely sophisticated binary joke that nobody will get, or at least that’s my excuse.

    #265587
    cwickham
    Participant

    M-COMMA

    Previously invisible commas suddenly become visible.

    #265588

    PAGE 101

    All the most truly awful and terrifying episode ideas are posted on page 101 of the idea for an episode thread.

    #265589

    MR. RAT

    Winston peruses the idea for an episode thread out of sight of Big Brother and finds Mr. Rat in page 101.

    #265590

    DO IT TO JULIA MAY

    After intense interrogation, with Mr Rat inches from his face, Winston begs the party to unleash the horror on short lived Red Dwarf director Julia May.

    #265591
    Warbodog
    Participant

    101 DEL MENTIONS

    Lister doesn’t shut up about Only Fools and Horses during an unrelated adventure.

    #265592
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    ONLY THE SNOOD… ?

    When The Cat is told he has to choose a limited wardrobe to take into stasis with him (because apparently changing clothes while being frozen in time is totally a thing), he experiences a major emotional crisis. After much soul-searching, he decides on a single item to not have immediately accessible.

    #265593

    1×01

    Metadata for The End that probably appears on some digital files somewhere.

    #265594
    cwickham
    Participant

    M-CORMA

    Lister’s curry becomes invisible.

    #265595
    cwickham
    Participant

    M-COBRA

    All snakes become invisible.

    #265596
    cwickham
    Participant

    M-CORPULENT

    All fat people become invisible.

    #265597
    cwickham
    Participant

    M-COURT

    All barristers become invisible.

    #265598
    Dave
    Participant

    M-KORG

    Rimmer’s Hammond organ synthesiser becomes invisible.

    #265599
    cwickham
    Participant

    M-CUNT

    Joss Whedon, Grant Shapps and Philip Morris become invisible.

    #265600
    Dave
    Participant

    ”-CORP

    Th lttr ” bcoms invisibl. This maks lif vry difficult for a show calld Rd Dwarf.

    #265601
    cwickham
    Participant

    A-Z CORP

    #265602
    Dave
    Participant

    SHITE-CORP

    The entire Idea For An Episode thread mysteriously disappears.

    #265604
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    .

    The best pun in this thread disappears.

    #265605
    cwickham
    Participant
    #265606
    Warbodog
    Participant

    PUNNING, CLIQUING AND BEING QUIET

    When the admin sees this, you’re dead.

    #265607
    cwickham
    Participant

    OC-CORP

    ll vwls bcm nvsbl.

    #265613
    Dave
    Participant

    TOMORROW’S VIIIORLD

    Doug’s worst sexist tendencies for series VIII even manage to infect other BBC programmes when Holly makes an appearance on Tomorrow’s World and awkwardly tries to chat up Phillippa Forrester.

    #265614
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    TOMORROW’S PARALLEL WORLD

    To mark the return of Hilly to the regular cast of Red Dwarf after the character was played by Norman Lovett for 3 series and absent for 2 more, Hattie Hayridge boogies on down to the Tomorrow’s World set to make an in-character appearance and participate in a demonstration of the Turing Test (named for the famous lesbian computer scientist and wartime codebreaker, Alanis Turing).

    She makes uncomfortable, sexist comments to the presenter, Philip Forrester, in a way that gender-flips the sexist power structures and prejudices of our own world but otherwise does not meaningfully satirise them.

    #265615
    cwickham
    Participant

    LEGIAN

    A gestalt entity made up of Ian Symes, Ian Hislop, Ian McKellen and Ian Wright brings the Dwarfers to its space station.

    #265616
    cwickham
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART SIXTY

    Trying to escape from a space station, the Dwarfers come across four identical doors, numbered one to four from left to right. One leads directly out into an airlock, one into the ship’s furnace, and one has a very sharp edge, and opening any of them even half an inch means certain death. The other door is safe and leads back to the docking bay. They find a list of notes left by the maintenance manager as to how the doors were originally meant to be installed:

    The furnace can only be next to the airlock if the safe door is door #3.

    The safe door cannot be next to the one with the sharp edge if the furnace is behind door #1.

    The airlock can only be on the end if the safe door is door #2.

    Unless the door with the sharp edge is door #4, the safe door cannot be next to the furnace.

    The furnace cannot be at one end if the safe door is on the other.

    Which door is safe to go through?

    #265619
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    AS SURE AS EASTER EGGS IS HEN PERIODS

    Doug gives another update on the status of the movie.

    #265620
    cwickham
    Participant

    FOGHORN LEGION

    A gestalt entity of famous cartoon roosters brings the Dwarfers to its space station.

    #265622
    Dave
    Participant

    SQUEAKY GIBSON

    When Lister’s authentic Gibson Les Paul copy starts making an annoying squeaking sound whenever he plays it, the rest of the crew throw shoes at him because they assume he is masturbating.

    #265623
    Dave
    Participant

    GIBSON PRAISE

    Mulder and Scully turn up and compliment Lister on his guitar playing.

    #265624
    Dave
    Participant

    FUNKY GIBSON

    The Goodies turn up and compliment Lister on his guitar playing.

    #265631
    cwickham
    Participant

    APRIL, MAY, JUNE, JULY AND AUGUST FOOL

    G&Ter belatedly notices the hugely appropriate date on which this thread ticked over to 10,000 posts.

    #265632
    Jenuall
    Participant

    APRIL, MAY, JUNE, JULY AND AUGUST POOL

    With the good weather arriving the boys from the Dwarf head out to enjoy the sun and take advantage of the ship’s thus far underused outdoor swimming pool. Holly reminds them all how long the outdoor swimming season lasts.

    No attempt is made to explain why or how a spaceship has an outdoor swimming pool.

    Low budgets make it difficult to hide that they are just in a leisure centre in Manchester.

    #265633
    cwickham
    Participant

    APRIL, MAY, JUNE, JULY AND AUGUST RULE

    Holly declares himself Supreme Leader of Red Dwarf for five months out of every twelve.

    #265634

    APRIL, MAY, JUNE, JULIUS AND AUGUSTUS, PULLED.

    Holly boasts about his successful night picking up people at the bar.

    #265635
    Jenuall
    Participant

    APRIL, MAY, JUNE, JULY AND AUGUST MULE

    Holly’s latest get rich quick scheme involves setting up a donkey rides business to operate during the warmer months

    #265636
    Dave
    Participant

    APRIL, MAY, JUNE, JULY AND AUGUST ZOOL

    Holly gets hooked on a 90s Amiga platformer.

    #265637
    Warbodog
    Participant

    APRIL, MAY, JUNE, JULY AND AUGUST STOOL

    Lister eats a really spicy curry and does a poo that lasts five months. It stinks!

    #265638
    Jenuall
    Participant

    APRIL, MAY, JUNE, JULY AND AUGUST HUEL

    Lister gives the “complete food” solution a 5 month trial period

    #265639

    WHAT’S HAPPENING, NUDES?

    Holly is confused when he finds himself on a nudist beach.

    #265640
    Ridley
    Participant

    APRIL, MAY, JUNE, JULY AND CADMIUM II

    Cappsy updates the website when the thread reaches 11,169 posts.

    #265641
    cwickham
    Participant

    SIREN TIME!

    Gordon Kennedy’s ship is lured onto the rocks by a monster with an enchanting voice.

    #265642
    cwickham
    Participant

    SIRING TIME!

    Gordon Kennedy has lots of children.

    #265643
    Dave
    Participant

    BYRON TIME!

    Gordon Kennedy reads out some early 19th century poetry.

    #265646
    cwickham
    Participant

    SIGNING TIME!

    Gordon Kennedy does some autographs.

    #265647
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    SIGHING TIME!

    It’s the daily check of the “Idea For An Episode” thread.

    #265648

    TIME AFTER TIME

    Cyndi Lauper pens a song for Gordon Kennedy when she notices that a great deal of the ideas for episodes are based around one single line of the show delivered by a guest character.

    #265649
    Dave
    Participant

    OUT OF TIME AFTER TIME

    Cyndi Lauper’s future self travels back to meet her and also buys up every copy of her new single, propelling her to stardom but leaving other shoppers disappointed.

    #265652
    cwickham
    Participant

    TIME AFTER TIMEWAVE

    The worst time to be a Red Dwarf fan.

    #265653
    si
    Participant

    OUT OF TIME AFTER TIMEWAVE

    Team G&T find themselves unable to progress to their Waffle-Men segment when the challenge of having to rewatch Timewave proves too much, and their brains finally dribble out of their ears as they complete the commentary.

    #265654
    cwickham
    Participant

    OUT OF TIMESLIDES AFTER TIMEWAVE

    After rewatching Timewave, Team G&T plan to watch a classic Series III episode to remind them why they liked the show in the first place, but find the DVD is missing from its case.

    #265655
    Ridley
    Participant

    OUT OF TIMESLIDES AFTER TIMEWAVE TIME FORK

    Oh, it’s over there.

    #265656

    FINE AFTER TIMEWAVE

    OFCOM fine everyone involved with the episode for daring to produce and broadcast such an offensive piece of media.

    #265657

    CRIME AFTER TIMEWAVE

    Shaken to their very core, the British public start rioting in the streets.

    #265658
    si
    Participant

    CRIME TRAVELLER AFTER TIMEWAVE

    Because anything’s better after Timewave.

    #265659
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    CRIMEWATCH AFTER TIMEWAVE

    Don’t have nightmares. Oh, too late.

    #265660
    Dave
    Participant

    TIMEWAVE AFTER TIMESLIDES AFTER OUT OF TIME

    A Red Dwarf fan comes up with a stupid running order for his complete series rewatch.

    #265661
    Warbodog
    Participant

    TIMWAVE

    Following complaints, an episode of Red Dwarf is re-edited with an Office everyman reacting with mild disapproval in the corner to tacitly excuse the more controversial moments.

    #265662
    Warbodog
    Participant

    SYNTHWAVE

    The guys find some humans who claim to have been washed up from the 1980s, but are really just robots who enjoy a narrow sampling of the era’s pop culture and iconography.

    #265664
    Warbodog
    Participant

    VAPORWAVE

    The guys have to pretend to admire some lazy collages and remixes of Japanese convenience store muzak that are completely derivative of a few interesting artists from three million years ago.

    #265670
    cwickham
    Participant

    IT’S HARD TO RAP WHEN YOU’RE BORN WITH A SKUTTER

    After doing the warm-up for Series I of Red Dwarf, Tony Hawks gives up his attempt to produce a follow-up to his hit single.

    #265671
    Jenuall
    Participant

    SILENCE BRUM!

    Caligula expresses his dislike for the anthropomorphic kids TV car

    #265672
    Jenuall
    Participant

    SILENCE KRUM!

    Caligula is displeased when a character from a famous transphobes wizarding book series tries to speak up

    #265673
    Jenuall
    Participant

    SILENCE TUM!

    After overindulging at supper time Caligula berates his own stomach when he experiences some gastroenterological discomfort

    #265674
    Jenuall
    Participant

    SILENCE BUM!

    Caligula’s digestive issues have moved on to another part of his anatomy

    #265676
    Warbodog
    Participant

    SILENCE MUM!

    Caligula is put off his stroke.

    #265677
    Warbodog
    Participant

    SILAGE SCUM!

    Caligula preserves some grass to feed to his farm animals during the dry season, then fucks them.

    #265678
    Warbodog
    Participant

    SALE ENDS SCUM!

    Caligula stars in a series of dishonest sofa adverts.

    #265679
    Dave
    Participant

    RYLANCE SCUM!

    Tony Hawks indulges in a long-running feud with renowned thesp Mark Rylance.

    #265680
    cwickham
    Participant

    THIS IS THE JUSTICE

    Tony Hawks releases an unsuccessful parody song about a Series IV episode.

    #265681
    cwickham
    Participant

    IT’S ANOTHER BORING TIMESLIDE

    Tony Hawks releases a parody song about his dislike for a certain Series III episode.

    #265682
    Warbodog
    Participant

    SILAS SCUM!

    Caligula gets really triggered by the miserly protagonist of a Who song.

    #265683
    Warbodog
    Participant

    SALLAH’S SCUM!

    Caligula can’t stand John Rhys-Davies’ character in the Indiana Jones films.

    #265684
    Warbodog
    Participant

    SOYLENT’S CUM!

    Caligula makes an overly specific prediction while watching a dystopian thriller.

    #265686
    cwickham
    Participant

    ROUND THE PROMISED LAND WITH A FRIDGE

    Tony Hawks takes a bet that he can crash the set of the new Red Dwarf special.

    #265687
    cwickham
    Participant

    ONE HIT PROMISED LAND

    Tony Hawks punches the wall of one of the sets of the new Red Dwarf special.

    #265688
    cwickham
    Participant

    PLAYING THE MOLDOVANS AT KRYTENNIS

    Tony Hawks invents a new sport that involves using Spare Head 3 as the ball.

    #265689
    Warbodog
    Participant

    TONY HAWKS’ PROS GATOR

    When Snappy is caught soliciting favours around Shepperton, the police follow his leash back to the Fifth Dwarfer.

    #265690
    Jenuall
    Participant

    THE FRIDGE HIKER’S GUIDE TO BETTER THAN LIFE

    Tony Hawks provides a detailed exploration of everyone’s favourite series 2 episode (if you ignore Queeg and probably Thanks For The Memory)

    #265691
    Dave
    Participant

    THE LAST 365 DAYS

    Three-part three-hour documentary series covering everything that has happened in the world of Red Dwarf since The Promised Land aired a year ago. Featuring previously unbroadcast Ideas For An Episode.

    #265692
    Jenuall
    Participant

    THE NEXT 365 DAYS

    Three part documentary using advanced AI techniques to predict the next years worth of Ideas For An Episode. The quality on show is hopelessly optimistic.

    #265693
    Dave
    Participant

    THE LAST IDEA FOR AN EPISODE

    The Idea For An Episode thread receives a letter saying that it must shut itself down and pack itself away before its replacement arrives in the form of a new thread of Red Dwarf episode ideas written exclusively by Gordon Kennedy.

    #265694
    Warbodog
    Participant

    LAST DAY

    Doug Naylor’s solo rewrite of The Last Day that actually takes place over four days as the crazed Marilyn Monroe droid comes back and interferes with everyone sexually.

    #265695
    Jenuall
    Participant

    CAN OF WORMS

    The Ideas For An Episode thread gets into hot water after starting to make references to the death of Prince Phillip with possibly too much haste.

    #265696
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE FIRST 365 DAYS

    G&T Admin remembers with fondness the point at which this thread had less than 100 posts in it.

    #265697
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE SECOND 365 DAYS

    G&T Admin remembers, with considerably less fondness, the period of time in which this thread went from having fewer than 100 posts in it to nearly 4,000.

    #265698
    cwickham
    Participant

    IDEA FOR AN EPISODE THREAD YEAR III: THE SAME GENERATION, TRAGICALLY

    G&T Admin remembers, with little to no fondness whatsoever, the period of time in which this thread went from having nearly 4,000 posts in it to over 6,000.

    #265699
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE IDEA FOR AN EPISODE THREAD GOES FORTH

    G&T Admin begins to get really quite angry as they remember the period of time in which this thread went from having over 6,000 posts in it to nearly 8,000.

    #265700
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE FAMOUS FIVE

    The year of the idea for an episode thread where it went from having nearly 8,000 posts to at least significantly more than 10,000 enters the record books as the fastest year-on-year increase in shitposts in history.

    #265701
    cwickham
    Participant

    IDEA FOR AN EPISODE 10TH ANNIVERSARY

    Celebrations in 2026, marked by the thread passing 20,000 posts and G&T Admin pondering finally locking it for good.

    #265702
    cwickham
    Participant

    IDEA FOR AN EPISODE SILVER SURVEY

    To mark the 25th anniversary of this thread, a poll is conducted to rank all 50,000 ideas for episodes from best to worst. Nobody bothers completing the poll and they all share joint last place.

Viewing 100 posts - 10,001 through 10,100 (of 10,624 total)
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