Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[cwickham]

QSIRENS

New version of Psirens where all the titular monsters are played by actors who have appeared as Q in the James Bond franchise.

[cwickham]

TUC IN THE RED

Lots of little salty biscuits arrive from a parallel universe.

[cwickham]

TUCKER’S LUCK IN THE RED

Inexplicable crossover with Grange Hill.

[Dave]

BIC TO EARTH

Everybody wishes they could shave several minutes off the runtime.

[cwickham]

QUALITYSLIDES

Description of what happens to this thread every time we get near to a new page.

[Dave]

SHITPOST

When the post pod arrives, Rimmer and Lister are dismayed to discover that it contains human faeces.

[Dave]

PAGE XI

The ‘idea for an episode’ thread returns, looking similar to page X but a bit more money has been spent on it and everything is covered in blue lighting.

[cwickham]

Ten thousand thundering typhoons we’re on the eleventh page

[Dave]

SLOWDOWN

All the new posts come to an abrupt halt now that we’re on a new page.

[cwickham]

YOU NEED TO SLOW DOWN

All the new posts come to an abrupt halt now we’ve run out of Taylor Swift-related puns.

[cwickham]

IT’S GOLD OUTSIDE

The Dwarfers discover the vacuum of space is actually made of gold.

[cwickham]

IT’S BOLD OUTSIDE

The Dwarfers discover the vacuum of space is actually made of laundry detergent.

[cwickham]

IT’S MOULD OUTSIDE

The Dwarfers discover the vacuum of space is actually really mouldy.

[cwickham]

IT’S SOLD OUTSIDE

The Dwarfers discover the entire vacuum of space has been sold to an eccentric multi-trillionaire.

[cwickham]

IT’S TOLLED OUTSIDE

The Dwarfers get stuck at a toll booth.

[cwickham]

IT’S VOLED OUTSIDE

The Dwarfers discover the vacuum of space is actually made up of trillions upon trillions of small rodents.

[Dave]

THERE’S NO KINDER ATMOSPHERE

Rimmer has to explain to his old German teacher why there are now no children left in the entire universe.

[cwickham]

THERE’S NO KINDA ATMOSPHERE

Rimmer explains why Red Dwarf is totally dissimilar to a Doctor Who serial from 1982.

[cwickham]

THERE’S NO LINER ATMOSPHERE

Rimmer has to explain why you can’t breathe if you stick your head in a bin liner.

[cwickham]

THERE’S NO MINER ATMOSPHERE

Ian Lavery arrives from a parallel universe, looking to escape from the miners he stole money from to pay for his mortgage. Rimmer decides some people are too unpleasant even for him.

[cwickham]

AOC

Remastered version of DNA with the voice of the DNA computer provided by a Democratic congresswoman.

[si]

(NOT) THE END

Dear God, I didn’t think there’d be a page 11.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

PAGE XII LEAKS

The best bit about this stint of the ‘idea for an episode thread’, is that page xii is being made along side it, and Norman Lovett is there to leak spoilers.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

THERE’S NO WINE OR ATMOSPHERE

Kochanski steps outside of Red Dwarf to get a break from Lister, and immediately starts to complain that there is no pinot to drink or oxygen to break.

[cwickham]

STEELCOCKUPIA

The steelbook release of page 11 of the “Idea for an episode” thread is accidentally released with all the ideas for page 12 on it instead.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

PAGEXITICA

Most of this idea for an episode comes from page XI, but if you look closely, the last bit was clearly written in page XII

[Dave]

EX-EYE

“Low” Lister’s nickname for his empty orbital socket.

[Dave]

EX-AYE-AYE

While filming Red Dwarf Series XII, Craig Charles gets misty-eyed about the cancellation of Captain Butler.

[Dave]

IVY

While filming Red Dwarf Series IV, the cast go for regular dinners at a popular London celeb hangout.

[Dave]

EYE-EX

Lister keeps ogling Kochanski but can’t work out whether this should officially happen during the events of Back To Earth or not.

[cwickham]

BARKWARDS

The Dwarfers discover a parallel version of Earth where everyone turns into a tree.

[cwickham]

CHEWBACCAWARDS

The Dwarfers discover a parallel version of Earth that infringes on Lucasfilm’s copyright.

[cwickham]

BACCYWARDS

The Dwarfers discover a parallel version of Earth where everyone chews tobacco.

[Pete Part Three]

RACKING MY HEAD

Low on inspirationfor Red Dwarf XIII, Doug decides to do some research online and stumbles across 11 pages of wonderfully funny plot ideas for potential future episodes.

Then he visits the “Idea for an episode” thread on Ganymede and Titan and realises that it’s not worth the bother as his audience is clearly not that discerning.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

POTATO SACK IN THE BED

Deleted scene from Dimension Jump where Lister puts a sack of potatoes in his bed and covers them with his blanket to convince Rimmer his is still sleeping whilst he slips off on a fishing holiday.

[cwickham]

THE ED

New version of The End where the last human alive is, instead of Lister, a man who recently lost the Liberal Democrat leadership election.

[cwickham]

THE EDD

New version of The End where the last human being alive is, instead of Lister, a duck.

[Dave]

THEED

New version of The End where the last human being alive comes from that boring city in Phantom Menace.

[cwickham]

THREE-D

New version of The End, in 3-D.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

3-DIMENSION JUMP

Ace Rimmer jumps at a 45 degree angle, through all three dimensions simultaneously

[Dave]

BACK TO REAL3D

Rimmer and Lister go to the Red Dwarf cinema and watch a 3D movie using polarised glasses rather than those red-and-blue ones.

[Dave]

BACK TO REALPLAYER

Growing bored of modern video playback software, Lister opts for a retro, turn-of-the-century alternative.

[Dave]

BACK TO REAL MADRID

Rimmer starts supporting a new football team.

[Dave]

CLASH OF THE KRYTENS

When a second Kryten appears (played by David Ross), the two droids must battle over who gets to remain on Red Dwarf. In a budget-saving measure, the episode is staged as a simple bare-knuckle fistfight between Ross and Robert Llewellyn.

[Dave]

CRASH OF THE KLYTENS

When Taiwan Tony shows up, the two Krytens team up against a common enemy.

[Dave]

WALKIE TALKIE

A bored Lister welds Blue Midget’s legs onto Talkie Toaster.

[cwickham]

BATTER THAN LIFE

The Dwarfers discover a computer game which lets them pretend to be jam doughnuts.

[cwickham]

CATTER THAN LIFE

The Cat discovers a computer game which lets him pretend to be even more like a cat than he already is.

[cwickham]

FATTER THAN LIFE

The Dwarfers discover a computer game which makes them all look really fat.

[cwickham]

HATTER THAN LIFE

The Dwarfers discover a computer game that lets them play as characters from Alice in Wonderland.

[Author]

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