Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[cwickham]

SETTER THAN LIFE

The Dwarfers discover a computer game that lets them play as dogs.

[cwickham]

WETTER THAN LIFE

The Dwarfers discover a computer game that lets them all pretend they’ve been drenched by a rainstorm.

[cwickham]

JET-SETTER THAN LIFE

The Dwarfers discover a computer game that lets them all pretend to have highly extravagant lifestyles.

[cwickham]

VETTER THAN LIFE

The Dwarfers discover a video game that lets them pretend to look after sick animals.

[cwickham]

BETTER THAN FIFE

The Dwarfers discover a video game considered better than a region of Scotland.

[cwickham]

BETTER THAN KNIFE

The Dwarfers discover a video game considered better than being stabbed.

[cwickham]

NIVEA AND TAKE

New version of Give & Take where everyone has much smoother skin.

[Dave]

NATURALLY BALD RIMMERS

An unkind review of Series XIII highlights Chris Barrie’s receding hairline and wig.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

THINNERWORLD

The Dwarfers jump into a paralell universe, where everything is identicaly except for the name of a popular weight loss program.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

HIMMLERWORLD

To avoid criticism that Doug is overusing Hitler in Red Dwarf episodes, he has the crew stumble through a worm hole and find themselves on a world inhabitted by thousands of Heinrich Himmlers

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

DIMMERWORLD

The crew find themselves in a universe where the stars aren’t quite as bright as they are in their own.

[cwickham]

CASSANDRA CLARE

New version of Cassandra where Cassandra’s scenes are re-filmed with an awful children’s author.

[si]

GIBBON TAKE

Blah blah something monkeys.

[cwickham]

BUOYSNATCHER

Rimmer gets banned from his local beach.

[cwickham]

ONLY THE GOODIES…

Episode finally resolving the Series VIII cliffhanger, revealing Red Dwarf was saved when a giant kitten knocked it over, absorbing the chameleonic microbe.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

ONLY THE GOOLIES…

Final episode of series VIII re-edited to be half an hour of Chris kneeing Ed in the bollocks.

[cwickham]

ONLY THE GING-GANG-GOOLIES…

Rimmer joins the Boy Scouts.

[cwickham]

IT’S COD OUTSIDE

Lister jettisons the ship’s entire supply of cod liver oil out of the airlock.

[Dave]

IT’S GOLD OUTSIDE

Cat repaints Red Dwarf to match his spacesuit.

[Dave]

THE INKKKUISITOR

The Inquisitor reveals himself to be a big old racist when he turns Lister caucasian as he ages him into an old man during their battle. Oddly, no-one seems to notice and it passes without comment, even though it’s really weird when you think about it. I mean why wouldn’t they just cast someone with a similar skin tone like they did with the ‘youthed’ version?

[Dave]

THE INQUIZZITOR

The Inquisitor allows people to live only if they can beat him at Trivial Pursuit.

[cwickham]

THE INQUISITOYSTOROR

The Inquisitor allows people to live only if they watch all four Toy Story films with him.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

THE INKQUISITOR

A printer on board Red Dwarf insists it is out of ink, leading the crew to question their own confidence that they only just changed the toner.

[cwickham]

BROWN IN THE RED

Alternate version of Back to Earth which resolves the Series VIII cliffhanger by revealing Gordon Brown was responsible for saving the ship, in an ill-advised publicity stunt on the part of the Labour Party.

[Dave]

RED IN THE BROWN

Lister’s years of eating curries catch up with him when he realises his guts are a mess.

[Paul Muller]

BACKIN’ THE BROWN

After 13 years of New Labour government, the crew face an uphill challenge to convince voters to back the incumbent Prime Minister in the run up to the 2010 General Election.

[Ian Symes]

It all goes wrong when he refers to a female simulant as a “bigoted woman”.

[cwickham]

DEAR DUFFY

Gordon Brown gets help writing a letter apologising to the “bigoted woman” from Doug Naylor, which turns out to not really help matters.

[Paul Muller]

STRIKE A LIGHT, IT’S GORDON

When sorting through the post-pod, the crew are surprised to find a letter from former UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown. Unfortunately the poor handwriting and numerous spelling errors make it almost unreadable, leading to a widespread backlash in the media and causing further headaches for the embattled Labour leader.

[Dave]

BROWN DWARF

Gordon Brown doesn’t help his electoral chances when he decides to write a racist review of a new TV sci-fi sitcom.

[cwickham]

LIB DEMS & ANGELS

Kryten blows up Red Dwarf, and creates two copies of it, one of which is crewed by Ming Campbell, Nick Clegg, Vince Cable and Jo Swinson.

[cwickham]

BLACKFORD IN THE RED

Controversial episode which resolves the Series VIII cliffhanger by revealing a Scottish nationalist politician turned up to save the day.

[cwickham]

PRIVATE EPIDEME

Remastered version of Epideme where the voice of the titular virus is redubbed with Ian Hislop.

[cwickham]

BACK IN THE PLAID

The Dwarfers all decide to campaign for Welsh independence.

[cwickham]

SINNFEINSARA

Lister gets trapped at the bottom of an ocean moon with Gerry Adams.

[cwickham]

BLACKFORD TO REALITY

Lister wakes up to realise he is really Ian Blackford.

[cwickham]

BLACKFORD TO EARTH

Version of Back to Earth from a parallel universe where Craig Charles quit acting in the early noughties and pursued a career in Scottish politics.

[cwickham]

FATHERS & SINNS

New version of Fathers & Suns where Pree is played by Gerry Adams.

[Paul Muller]

PETER: PART 2

After four years as Britain’s EU Trade Commissioner, Peter Mandelson makes a surprising return to frontline UK politics, when he is appointed as Business Secretary during Gordon Brown’s 2008 cabinet reshuffle.

[Paul Muller]

BALANCE OF PAYMENTS

In an effort to obtain Kochanski’s hologram disk, Lister attempts to pass the Chef’s exam and become a catering officer.

Rimmer is so determined to stop him that he neglects to repair the UK’s trade deficit, culminating in a run on foreign currency and gold reserves, a loss of confidence amongst creditors and eventual devaluation of the Pound.

[si]

POLYTICS

After first shrinking Lister’s boxser shorts (With Hilarious Consequences), a Genetically Engineered LifeForm sucks every once of common sense and decency out of Rimmer, leaving him a blithering idiot, and free to become Prime Minister.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

TORYFORM

The crew crash land on a psi-moon created from the twisted psyches of Conservative Party MPs

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

IN A CREATE ON AN ASTEROID ADVOCATING SOCIAL EQUALITY, LIVED AN OLD PLUTONIUM MINER, AND FORM LABOUR PRIME MINSTER CLEMENT ATTLEE

In a merry tune Lister sings whilst going about his day, it is revealed that centuries in the future, Clement Attlee is alive and well and living on an asteroid. Weird isn’t it.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

WAITING FOR MOGG

The new Conservative cabinet has voted to convince aboard Red Dwarf, 3million years into the future, yet they cannot start their first meeting as Leader of the House Jacob Rees-Mogg has materialised in the wrong time period owing to his instance on using the Julian Calendar

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BACKBENCHES IN THE RED

The crew find themselves as members of the House of Lords holding no ministerial positions.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

LUNATIC SENATE SEVEN

Lister sings a merry tune of a time seven members of the Upper Chamber of Congress simultaneously all went mad

[cwickham]

TIKKA TO BRIDE

Following a misunderstanding over a jibe from Rimmer, Lister decides he loves curry so much he wants to marry it.

[Paul Muller]

TIKKA TO RYDE

The crew are employed as delivery drivers at an Indian restaurant on the Isle of Wight.

[Paul Muller]

TIKKA TOO WIDE

The gang attempt to deliver the meal, but discover the foil container is too large to fit through the door.

[cwickham]

CAPTAIN’S OFFICER RIMMER

New version of Officer Rimmer where the Rimmer monster eats some food and shits everywhere.

[Author]

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