Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Idea for an episode.

Viewing 100 posts - 10,101 through 10,200 (of 10,661 total)
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  • #265703
    cwickham
    Participant

    POST 21

    Fuck my arse it’s another joke about binary

    #265704
    Jenuall
    Participant

    DOUBLE POLAR DROID

    The crew land on an ice planet and find a pair of twin 4000 series mechanoids

    #265705
    Dave
    Participant

    DOUBLE MOLAR DROID

    Kryten performs more amateur dentistry on Lister.

    #265706
    Jenuall
    Participant

    DOUBLE ROLLER DROID

    Kryten shows off his new technique to speed up painting duty

    #265711
    si
    Participant

    DOUBLE HAEMORRHOID

    Hollister orders twice as much AnusSoothe than usual.

    #265712
    Warbodog
    Participant

    BLOODY L

    Irene E’s cousin Laura comes aboard seeking bloody vengeance, but meets with a gory accident. Kryten ponders the irony while Rimmer is disappointed on the minor chance she might have had sex with him.

    #265713
    Warbodog
    Participant

    O SHIT

    Irene E and Bloody L’s cousin Olivia comes aboard seeking bloody vengeance, but her notoriously unstable bowels let her down as ever, and she accidentally spaces herself when trying to flush. Kryten isn’t sure whether this is still irony or just pathetic, while Rimmer still reckons he could have been in there.

    #265714
    Warbodog
    Participant

    P NIS

    Irene E, Bloody L and O Shit’s other cousin Polly comes aboard and is understanding about the unfortunate accidents. She gets close to Rimmer and explains that she’s transgender. I won’t spoil the ending.

    #265715

    R SOLE

    Irene E, Bloody L, O Shit and P Nis’ 2nd cousin twice removed Roberta Sole beams aboard the ship to console her brethren. Rimmer’s excitement is dampened when he realised where he might have to put it.

    #265716
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    B ODDIE

    Tits?

    #265717
    cwickham
    Participant

    TBT

    I’m a teapot! I’m a teapot!

    #265730

    LAST HUMMUS

    Doug pens another novel, this time about the last dish of hummus in the entire universe finding itself on an adventure where it meets various other types of hummus.

    #265731
    Jenuall
    Participant

    LAST HYYOOMUSS

    Doug regrets his decision to adapt his latest novel for the show when he remembers Craig Charles’ awful pronunciation of hummus

    #265732
    cwickham
    Participant

    LAST HUBRIS

    Doug pens a novel really arrogantly.

    #265735
    Jenuall
    Participant

    LAST BREW MAN

    The supply situation has grown increasingly bleak and Lister laments the fact he is down to his last can of wicked strength lager.

    #265736
    Pea on Toast
    Participant

    HI-DE-HIGHS AND LOWS

    An accident with the Triplicator makes two Red Dwarfs. One populated by evil versions of the crew, the other with the staff of a 1950’s holiday camp.

    #265737
    cwickham
    Participant

    LAST BLUE MAN

    The last human being alive is, instead of Dave Lister, a member of Blue Man Group.

    #265738
    Dave
    Participant

    LAST POO, MAN

    Brooding drama in which Dave Lister shoulders the burden of being the last living human being, and by extension the last one still capable of defecating. In order to ensure that his legacy of effluence is not lost forever he travels back in time to educate his younger self in the art of shitting. Because with the two of them going round and round in time the human race can never truly become ex-stinked.

    #265740

    THE LAST ROO, MAN!

    When Lister discovers a bouncy Australian mammal in stasis aboard a derelict, he explains to the crew what he’s found.

    #265741
    Jenuall
    Participant

    LASSO MAN

    During the crews games night Lister tries to describe the character of Indiana Jones in just 2 words

    #265742
    cwickham
    Participant

    LOST HUMAN

    Lister gets lost.

    #265743
    cwickham
    Participant

    FAST HUMAN

    Lister moves quickly.

    #265744
    cwickham
    Participant

    VAST HUMAN

    Lister is big.

    #265745
    cwickham
    Participant

    AVAST, HUMAN!

    Lister is attacked by space pirates.

    #265746
    Dave
    Participant

    PAST HUMANS

    Loads of humans from the past wash up three million years in the future due to a sort of, well, let’s call it a “wave of time”, and it turns out they’ve banned criticism or something… look, we’ll work out the details on the night.

    #265747

    SORT IT OUT IN THE DUB

    Craig Charles protests that he believed all of Timewaves flaws were going to be dealt with in post production.

    #265748

    SORT IT OUT WITH SOME DUB

    After Rimmer’s suggestion of Indian restaurant music is shot down as a way of pacifying the Curry Monster, he suggests a style or Jamaican music instead.

    #265749
    cwickham
    Participant

    SORT IT OUT IN THE RUB-A-DUB-DUB

    Craig Charles suggests everyone goes for a bath.

    #265750

    SORT IT OUT IN THE PUB

    With pubs re-opening, Craig Charles suggests they head to their nearest boozer to sort it out … whatever “it” is.

    #265751
    Dave
    Participant

    SORE TIT OUT IN THE NUD

    Danny John-Jules starts complaining about someone’s floppy titties and Doug decides it’s such comedy gold that he writes it into a forthcoming episode.

    #265752

    SAW TIT OUT IN THE MUD

    When his friends ask him how his bird watching trip went, Craig informs them what he managed to see and where.

    #265753
    Dave
    Participant

    THOUGHT IT OUT IN THE PUB

    Doug reveals how he conceived the plot of Last Human.

    #265754
    cwickham
    Participant

    SAW BIT OUT IN THE DUB

    Doug’s editing software breaks and he is forced to resort to old-fashioned methods.

    #265756
    Jenuall
    Participant

    CROWN TROUSERS TIME

    Holly suggests what the other members of the crew should wear to mark the falling of the Duke of Edinburgh

    #265757
    Pea on Toast
    Participant

    CAPTAIN PETECOCK PART 2

    The Time Wand causes a floorwalker at a 1970’s department store to turn into a dinosaur and shit everywhere. Meanwhile, Mrs Slocombe’s pussy evolves and starts a holy war.

    #265758
    Dave
    Participant

    FETE PART ONE

    Rimmer decides to organise a summer fete on board Red Dwarf, complete with a Hammond organ recital and Morris dancing. Everyone else laughs at him and mocks the very notion, even though it was actually quite a nice idea and it’s a bit shitty to make fun of someone just because their hobbies are uncool.

    #265759
    Dave
    Participant

    FETE PART TWO

    The argument over the summer fete is rendered moot when a dinosaur shits everywhere.

    #265760
    Jenuall
    Participant

    SPOUT OF TIME

    Some kind of weird space ray has caused Kryten’s tea pot to become responsible for the flow of time on board the ship.

    #265761
    Jenuall
    Participant

    KRAUT OF TIME

    Hitler comes back again for some reason

    #265762
    Jenuall
    Participant

    TROUT OF TIME

    Kryten regrets his fish based faux pas when Rimmer’s mum travels through time to track down anyone who has ever besmirched her good name

    #265763
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    PETE: KING OF THE MONSTERS OF THE WEEK

    Big budget cinematic universe spin-off where Pete the dinosaur goes up against the Mutton Vindaloo Beast, the Polymorph and The Inquisitor, for control of the Red Dwarf lower decks.

    #265764
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    PETE VS DONG

    The inevitable follow-up where Archie gets involved.

    #265765
    Dave
    Participant

    ZEED DECK

    The crew of Red Dwarf discover that the lowest floor of the ship has been overrun by the Neo Zeed crime syndicate from the Shinobi games.

    #265766
    Dave
    Participant

    ZED DECK

    The crew of Red Dwarf discover that the lowest floor of the ship has been taken over by Rip Torn from the Men In Black movies.

    #265767
    Dave
    Participant

    ZOD DECK

    The crew of Red Dwarf discover that the lowest floor of the ship has been taken over by Terence Stamp and Michael Shannon.

    #265768
    Jenuall
    Participant

    OUT OF PINE

    During his attempt to soften the feel of the bunkroom Kryten is disappointed when the new furniture he is interested in is no longer available in his favoured choice of wood.

    #265769
    Warbodog
    Participant

    ZED DECK’S 81

    A floor on Red Dwarf lies massively about its age.

    #265770
    Warbodog
    Participant

    ‘Z’ DICK

    We finally get to see what shocked Rimmer in Bodyswap.

    #265771
    Dave
    Participant

    ZED’S DECK, BABY. ZED’S DECK

    Lister makes Kryten watch loads of Tarantino movies and he starts taking on their speech patterns.

    #265772
    Jenuall
    Participant

    OUT OF TYNE

    The crew get trapped in Newcastle

    #265773
    Dave
    Participant

    BOUT OF LYME

    The crew encounter their future selves and are disgusted to discover they all have lyme disease.

    #265774
    Dave
    Participant

    STOUT OF TIME

    Lister meets his future self and is disgusted to discover that he drinks Guinness.

    #265775
    Dave
    Participant

    GROUT OF SLIME

    After three million years, Lister finds the bathrooms on Red Dwarf have gone a bit mouldy.

    #265778
    Pea on Toast
    Participant

    OLLEROBORUSHAW

    Peggy from Hi-de-Hi! discovers she is her own mother.

    #265779
    Jenuall
    Participant

    OUR ROBBER ROSS

    Friends crossover episode where Ross Geller turns up on Red Dwarf and steals from the boys.

    #265780
    Jenuall
    Participant

    OUR ROB OR ROSS?

    Part of a new Red Dwarf Night special where the audience have to decide who is the best Kryten: Rob Llewellyn or David Ross?

    #265781
    Warbodog
    Participant

    WHAT A GYNECOLOGIST

    Kryten matter-of-factly describes his routine examination of Miss Kochanski as the lads sit there with eyes comically bulging, legs crossed and tongues panting.

    #265782
    Dave
    Participant

    SOMETHING TELLS ME YOU’RE NOT REALLY A DOCTOR

    The crew of Red Dwarf are excited when a TARDIS materialises on board, only to then be hugely disappointed when Eamonn Holmes steps out of it.

    #265783
    Warbodog
    Participant

    EAMONNHAWK

    A TV presenter is genetically engineered to suck all the joy out of viewers.

    #265784
    Jenuall
    Participant

    WHITE HOLMES

    The crew are trapped in a bubble caused by all the crap Eamonn Holmes has spewed into the universe

    #265785
    Warbodog
    Participant

    EAMONNS AND ANGELS

    Eamonn Holmes’ TARDIS arrives in one of Red Dwarf’s landing bays shortly before the ship tragically explodes.

    #265786
    Jenuall
    Participant

    EAMONN OF THE APOCOLYPSE

    Eamonn Holmes returns to infect Starbug with a virus which locks all of the ships consoles to display his segments from This Morning on endless repeat from now until the end of time

    #265787
    Dave
    Participant

    LAST EAMONN

    Eamonn Holmes materialises on Red Dwarf in the TARDIS, along with someone else called Eamonn. Later in the story they meet a third person called Eamonn.

    #265788
    Dave
    Participant

    THIS IS MY HOLMES RIGHT HERE

    About to finish the final draft of the Promised Land script, Doug realises he forgot to include a decent emotional moment for Cat, so hurriedly rewrites what he had originally planned to be an Eamonn Holmes cameo near the end.

    #265789
    Dave
    Participant

    HOLMES? AND WHERE EXACTLY IS HOLMES SUPPOSED TO BE?

    Chris Barrie becomes irate when Eamonn Holmes shows up for his cameo and can’t hit his mark.

    #265790
    Jenuall
    Participant

    THE SLIME’S COMING HOLMES!

    With Red Dwarf under attack by some kind of slime beast Lister warns Eamonn Holme’s that danger is heading in his direction

    #265791
    Dave
    Participant

    HOLMES UNDER THE HUMMER

    Lister’s tuneless humming becomes so irritating to Rimmer that he moves out of their shared sleeping quarters, only to be replaced in the bottom bunk by Eamonn Holmes.

    #265792
    Dave
    Participant

    HOLMES ALONE

    Doug writes a daring one-hander episode, anchored by the central performance of Eamonn Holmes.

    #265793
    Dave
    Participant

    DR SAM BECKETT NEVER RETURNED HOLMES

    Eamonn Holmes is tempted away from Red Dwarf by a lead role on the Quantum Leap reboot, and as a result never comes back to the show.

    #265794
    Jenuall
    Participant

    HOLMES IMPROVEMENT

    Remake of Bodyswap but this time Rimmer steals the body of Eamonn Holmes under the repeated excuse of helping him to get fit

    #265795
    Dave
    Participant

    I DIDN’T COME HERE LOOKING FOR EAMONN

    G&T posters who click on the Idea For An Episode thread before they check replies in the latest G&TV thread wonder why everyone is suddenly talking about Eamonn Holmes.

    #265796
    Warbodog
    Participant

    THE IDEA FOR AN EPISODE SPIN-OFF SHOWCASE

    Grant Jackson gauge audience reactions to various side characters originating in an insufferable fan forum thread, including Boney, a promiscuous Manta Ray and Eamonn Holmes and His TARDIS.

    #265797
    Dave
    Participant

    THE BUTTSKI FACTOR

    New name for the Idea For An Episode thread.

    #265798
    Jenuall
    Participant

    THE KRYTEN FACTOR

    Spin off game show hosted by Robert Llewellyn where celebrity contestants have to complete various challenges based around a day in the life of a mechanoid 4000 series including mopping floors, unblocking toilets and scrubbing gussets

    #265799

    FUTURE EAMONN

    As the crew approach light speed, the see further and further into Eamonn Holmes TV career.

    #265800

    EAMONNDEME

    After contracting a deadly virus from the corpse of a long dead crew member, Lister starts to speak directly to camera with an Irish accent.

    #265801

    EAMONN HOLMES. RUTH LANGFORD. THIS MORNING!

    Rimmer demands to know the ITV morning schedule for the school holidays.

    #265802
    Dave
    Participant

    SO EVERYONE’S DEAD, EAMONN ME OWN, THERE’S JUST ME

    In full Buttski mode, Rob Grant and Paul Jackson remake The End and cast Eamonn Holmes as Lister.

    #265803
    cwickham
    Participant

    EAMONNLY THE GOOD

    New version of Only the Good which resolves the cliffhanger by revealing Eamonn Holmes turned up and saved the day.

    #265804

    BACK TO EAMONN

    An halluciogenic squid makes the crew believe they are TV presenters and Lister has to hand back to the Eamonn Holmes in the studio.

    #265805
    Dave
    Participant

    EAMONN ROUGHLY IN ITS DIRECTION AND THE HEAT-SEEKERS WILL DO THE REST

    Seeking to draw out the crew’s unbridled disgust, the Polymorph disguises itself as Eamonn Holmes.

    #265806
    Jenuall
    Participant

    I’LL RENDER YOU UNCONCIOUS USING THE EAMONNIAN NERVE GRIP

    Finding themselves in a tight spot with a gestalt entity Eamonn Holmes explains his plan to save the day using his own patented martial arts technique

    #265807
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    WELL JUST TELL US WHAT IT IS IN SORT OF SIMPLE EAMONN’S TERMS

    Lister implores Holly to explain the Theory of Relativity in the style of a mediocre daytime television presenter.

    #265808
    Jenuall
    Participant

    BUT ISN’T THAT AN ENORMOUS DRAIN?

    Lister debates the value of including Eamonn Holmes in any TV broadcast

    #265809
    cwickham
    Participant

    EAMONN²

    Eamonn Andrews shows up and claims all the ideas for episodes involving Eamonn Holmes would be much better if they were about him instead.

    #265810
    Jenuall
    Participant

    BETTER THAN THIS IS YOUR LIFE

    Eamonn Holmes responds to the appearance of Eamonn Andrews by claiming he is in the development stages of a new show which will trounce Andrews’ most famous gig

    #265811
    cwickham
    Participant

    EAMONNS AND ANGELS

    Eamonn Walker shows up and gets into a fight with Eamonn Holmes and Eamonn Andrews.

    #265812

    EVERYBODY LOVES EAMONN

    After yet another encounter with an hallucinagenic squid, the crew believe they inhabit a reality where Eamonn Holmes fronts his very own sitcom.

    #265813

    AND WHERE EVER POSSIBLE, BRING THEM HOLMES

    Kryten reminds the crew of a quirky space corps directive that requires crew to introduce Eamonn Holmes to any new life forms they encounter.

    #265814
    Jenuall
    Participant

    CLASSIC WINES OF EAMONNIA

    Eamonn Holmes takes the crew on a journey through his vast wine collection

    #265815
    Warbodog
    Participant

    KNOW THEN THAT IT IS THE POST 10,191

    Holly sexes up his distress call by styling himself as a space princess to catfish rescue ships, but goes too far with the arcane exposition dump and they switch off.

    #265816
    Pea on Toast
    Participant

    GUNMEN OF THE ACROPOLIS

    To fight a virus, the crew enter Kryten’s mind which looks the exact same as an early 90’s Australian sitcom about a Greek cafe. Guest starring Mary Coustas as Effie Simulanidis.

    #265817
    cwickham
    Participant

    TROJEAMONN

    Eamonn Holmes goes back in time and hides in a big wooden horse.

    #265818
    cwickham
    Participant

    EAMONNICA

    The Dwarfers travel to an alternative Earth where everyone is Eamonn Holmes.

    #265819
    cwickham
    Participant

    EAMONNTANGLED

    The Cat and Kryten do everything in unison with Eamonn Holmes.

    #265820
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE BEGG-EAMONNING

    Eamonn Holmes dresses up as a BEGG and impersonates Rimmer’s father.

    #265821
    cwickham
    Participant

    EAMONNDEME

    Eamonn Holmes gives Lister an STD.

    #265822
    cwickham
    Participant

    EAMONNHAWK: POLYMORPH II

    Eamonn Holmes drains the Dwarfers’ emotions.

    #265823
    cwickham
    Participant

    FUTURE EAMONNS

    Eamonn Holmes travels back in time to stop The Impressions Show from making fun of his weight, but this reference is too dated for anyone to understand what he’s talking about.

    #265824
    cwickham
    Participant

    EAMONN-DAIM

    Eamonn Holmes launches a brand of chocolate that gives people STDs.

Viewing 100 posts - 10,101 through 10,200 (of 10,661 total)
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