Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

MUGABE NAYLOR PRODUCTIONS

When asked to find a new writing partner with the same name as his previous one so the company name continues to make sense, Doug’s aid misunderstands and hires Robert Mugabe, instead of Richard E. Grant.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

TAKE ME OUT TO THE AR SUITE

New name for Blue Xtended which includes a 5 minute extra scene of Vic Fontaine singing to the crew before they leave Kryten’s Rimmer program, which inly serves to piss off Lister even more.

[Warbodog]

OUROBORVIC

It’s hard to tell which villain G&T forum users have more of a grudge against today.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

OURVICORBOB

Lister can’t decide which of the 90s comedy duo he likes best, Vic Reeves or Bob Mortimer

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

SMOKE ME A RIMMER

Vic Fonatine escapes from the AR unit and shoots Rimmer dead, the cunt!

[Warbodog]

PALLYMORPH

A genetically-engineered Vic Fontaine sings ‘Come Fly with Me’ on a loop until he’s sucked the crew’s will to live.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

ONLY THE ALLYPALLYMORPH

Alexandra Palace lifts itself off its hilly foundation in north London, morphs into a 10 story tall Vic Fontaine and terrorises Londoner’s with its rendtion of Come Fly With Me. Shortly before the end of the 6th day of this madness, Red Dwarf comes crashing down on top of it and Lister steps out to exchange insurance details.

[cwickham]

SMEGBREAKER

Lister discovers his Uncle Frank was really a spy working for MI6, but this pun is too tortured for anyone to really get the reference.

[cwickham]

HIS SMEGGY MATERIALS

Lister and Kochanski wander through a number of parallel universes in an allegory for religion.

[cwickham]

OUR ROBO-ROSS

Lister’s parents adopt an android replica of David Schwimmer.

[cwickham]

OUR ROE POROUS

The Dwarfers discover some highly permeable fish eggs.

[cwickham]

QUEEG 5555

Queeg, but if he had a fake telephone number.

[cwickham]

BACK IN THE RUDD

Amber Rudd arrives from a parallel universe, but immediately resigns.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

RUDD HOLE

Following the resignation of Amber Rudd, Boris Johnson rushes to plug the hole spewing Conservative MPs out fo the party.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BACK IN RUDD’S HOLE

Resurrected by nanobots, A.A. Gill downs some sexual magnetism virus and has sex with his widowed wife.

[Dave]

RUDD CHRISTMAS

When Santa arrives inexplicably to haunt the Red Dwarf crew in the middle of a game of charades, they realise that it is in fact Amber Rudd in disguise, having taken the job of a Grotto Santa in the extra free time that she has gained since resigning as a cabinet minister.

[Dave]

AMBER ALERT

Rimmer asks to go to Amber alert and thus have Amber Rudd reinstated as a cabinet minister. “Are you absolutely sure?” asks Kryten. “It does mean changing the prime minister.”

[Dave]

RUDD DWARF

Ant-Man’s co-stars notice that he’s quite short.

[cwickham]

I FORGOT THAT YOU ENLISTED

Taylor Swift song about Lister signing up for the Canaries.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

RUDD HULL

The crew scramble to plug a hole in space time that is spewing recently resigned Amber Rudd’s from across the multi-verse who have switched careers to Rod Hull impersonators into their universe.

[Dave]

RUDD ART MUGABE

A recently-resigned Amber Rudd paints a tribute portrait of Robert Mugabe to commemorate his demise.

[Dave]

RUDDYSWAP

Boris Johnson drafts in Ant-Man to become the new work and pensions secretary while the former home secretary begins work in her starring role on the set of the new Ant-Man film. “I have male sexual organs!” she exclaims, a line that does not make the final cut of the movie.

[Dave]

GRIEVE & TAKE

When Boris Johnson is thwarted by a Conservative rebellion led in no small part by the MP for Beaconsfield, he decides to travel back in time and quash the rebels by acting in an incredibly overly-aggressive hard-line manner as PM, thus inadvertently provoking the rebellion into occurring.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

ROBERT MUGABEGG

Former Zimbabwe leader chokes to death on his own smug gittiness

[Pete Part Three]

WAITING FOR GOLD

Doug puts series XIII on the back-burner when a rich prospector from Nigeria emails up and offers $300,000,000 in gold bullion for the budget of the movie. Unfortunately, the prospector has lost control of his bank account and needs a deposit of several thousand pounds before he can release the funds. Eager to move things along, Doug hands over his Paypal details.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

TIKKA, TAYLOR, SOLDIER, SPY

After arriving in 1970s London on a curry hunt, Lister and the gang set about hunting down a soviet double agent

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

PIPS ME A SOUL SINGER

Gladys Knight escapes from the AR machine and kills Rimmer

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

CORRED

The crew discover a deep space research station run by a mad scientist trying to figure out how to turn people into members of The Corrs

[cwickham]

DOORED

The crew discover a deep space research station run by a mad scientist trying to figure out how to turn people into members of The Doors

[cwickham]

CURED

The crew discover a deep space research station run by a mad scientist trying to figure out how to turn people into members of The Cure

[Dave]

BORED

Alternative name for the Back To Earth Director’s Cut that will appear on the 4K boxset.

[Dave]

WE HAVE TO GO! (OUT OF THE EU BY 31 OCTOBER)

Boris Johnson provokes the ire of Red Dwarf fans after looping a piece of Kryten dialogue from Back To Reality – itself already reused from The Inquisitor – and uses it as the narration for a party political broadcast for the Conservative party, complete with crude badly-edited extension referring to the Brexit date and recorded by a bad Robert Llewellyn soundalike.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

HOARED

The crew discover a deep space research station run by a mad scientist trying to figure our how to turn people into G&T Admin member John Hoare

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

N-N-N-N-N-O NO LIMITS

Kryten gets caught in a feedback loop trying to disobey his superiors and ends up singing an early 90s Dance anthem

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

OFFICER RUDD BABE

Cat takes a liking to a new crew member that they pick up from an alternate dimension, who had been put into stasis by the leader of her party for refusing to back a no-deal Brexit.

[cwickham]

I VEER FOR AN EPISODE

Lister sharply turns Starbug to the right.

[cwickham]

IV FOR AN EPISODE

Lister has so much to drink he has to have a saline drip put in for the entire episode.

[cwickham]

ID FOR AN EPISODE

Behind-the-scenes documentary on how Doug Naylor once got stopped by a security guard demanding he show some credentials on the way into Pinewood Studios.

[cwickham]

I SEER FOR AN EPISODE

Kryten becomes a fortune-teller.

[cwickham]

I NEAR FOR AN EPISODE

Doug reassures the audience he’s close by before recording of an episode starts.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

ID FOR AN EPISODE

New DVD boxset released containing all episodes that are above a PG rating

[cwickham]

I REAR FOR AN EPISODE

Lister rises up on his hind legs.

[cwickham]

I TEAR FOR AN EPISODE

Everyone sheds a single tear at the memory of Timewave.

[cwickham]

I, LEAR FOR AN EPISODE

After a blow to the head, Lister becomes convinced he is the reincarnation of Edward Lear.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

MISS HEAR AN EPISODE

New documentary cataloging all the miss heard lines in Red Dwarf from the miss heard lines thread

[cwickham]

KING LEAR FOR AN EPISODE

Due to a script mix-up, the cast perform a classic Shakespearean play.

[cwickham]

I WEAR FOR AN EPISODE

Everyone becomes very tired this week.

[cwickham]

EYE BEER FOR AN EPISODE

Lister accidentally hits himself in the eye with a bottle of lager.

[cwickham]

EYE FEAR FOR AN EPISODE

Lister worries if he’ll ever regain the sight in the eye he accidentally hit with a bottle of lager.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

SO LONG, AND THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH

The Cat decides to leave the crew and go in search of his own people and is replaced by a GELF.

Doug is hit with a law suit from the Douglas Adams estate

[Author]

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