Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[Warbodog]

IDEA FOR AN EPISODE. USA

Wary of alienating international audiences, the specific early-90s Children’s BBC nostalgia in the Idea for an episode. thread are toned down in favor of broad references to Barney and stuff.

[Moonlight]

OUROBORDOUG

The Dwarfers get into a fight over whether they’d be funnier if Rob was writing their dialogue.

[Moonlight]

CURED

Ace Rimmer finds a new way to enjoy kippers.

[Moonlight]

MECH COCKRACY

Archie runs for Machine President.

[Moonlight]

TIMESLIDE

Cat invents a new dance craze that sweeps the ship.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

A BARNY WITH BARNY

Horrified children look on as two beefy prison thugs kick the shit out of their favourite purple dinosaur

[Moonlight]

SIX OF WORST – PEARL POLL NON-G&TER EDITION

For some reason, it’s just the entirety of Series XII in chronological order. Curious.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

QUEEG 500 PART 11

Queeg returns for an 11th episode

[Moonlight]

FUCK MY ASS XII

It looks a lot like Fuck My Ass XI, but there’s almost none of the original soundtrack present and every other joke is Cat wishing Rimmer was dead.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

FUCK MY ARSE ETC ETC

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

OURBOBROSS

Bob Ross is sent round and round in time so painting may never become extinct.

[Moonlight]

NO, IT’S A CHICKEN

Japanese title of Waiting for God.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

WAITING FOR GODZILLA

Lister and Cat go to the cinema to watch a 1998 classic. They’re early however, and have to sit through the trailers for half an hour before it starts.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

SMOKE ME A ZILLA

Tired of kippers for breakfast, ace decides to sample some Japanese mythical creatures.

[si]

Oh dear God, have we reached a Twelfth page?

[bloodteller]

12? 12 PAGES LONG? YOU POSTED IN THE IDEA FOR AN EPISODE THREAD ON PAGE 12?

You can’t have been a full member of the forum then.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

DEATH BY 5500 FORUM POSTS

Taylor Swift dies from reading every single idea for an episode without stopping to eat or drink anything.

[Dave]

FROM NOW ON, THE IDEA FOR AN EPISODE THREAD HAS RUN BY POST 5500

Charles Augins notices that the ‘idea for an episode’ thread has reached page 12.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

WHAT’S THE SQUARE ROOT OF 30MILLION, TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND?

It takes a while, but Holly reveals the answer to be found in page 12 of idea for an episode thread

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

IT’S HERE. WHERE? SOMEWHERE.

The crew venture into the depths of idea for an episode thread looking for the answer to the square root of 30,250,000

[Warbodog]

SHAMING LEAK

The person who naively blacked up to cosplay Duane Dibbley more authentically at Dimension Jump ages ago lives in constant fear of that innocent mistake from his past threatening his career and reputation when fans who weren’t even there keep dredging up the picture every so often and incorporating it into Red Dwarf scenes.

[cwickham]

BLACK UP IN THE RED

Danny John-Jules falls ill on the day before the recording of an episode of Red Dwarf XIII, and Doug inexplicably decides the best course of action is to get the guy who blacked up to cosplay as Duane Dibbley at Dimension Jump in to replace him.

[cwickham]

I FORGOT THAT YOU INQUISITED

Taylor Swift song about the aftermath of The Inquisitor being erased from existence.

[Dave]

STARBUG DOZEN – DIDN’T – HAVE A LASER CANNON CAPABILITY

Awakening from the AR machine, Kryten desperately searches for the most tortuous pun possible to mark the twelfth page of the ‘idea for an episode’ thread.

[Dave]

OUR FUTURE TWELVES ARE ATTACKING US!?

Someone in page 1 of the ‘idea for an episode’ thread has a horrible vision of its eventual future.

[Dave]

ME¹²

For series XIII, Doug has the novel idea of an episode featuring multiple Rimmers.

[cwickham]

IDEA FOR AN EPISODE¹²

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

[Dave]

TWELVE OF THE BEST

Fans of Red Dwarf decide to have a marathon viewing session by watching the Six Of The Best boxset twice in succession.

[Warbodog]

ADELPHI 12

Gritty Blake’s 7-style Red Dwarf spin-off. Eleven misunderstood prisoners escape from the ambiguouly-named penal planet/station/ship and steal a spaceship whose computer counts as the twelfth member. Aside from evading the Space Federation, their main concern is making sure to pick up or destroy a new AI character any time someone dies or joins so the number stays balanced.

[Warbodog]

LUNAR CITY’S 7

Could have gone with that.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

THE TWELVE PAGES OF IDEAS OF AN EPISODE THREAD

Red Dwarf Christmas special whereby the crew sing all the ideas for an episode to the tune and structure of Twelve Days of Christmas. It lasts 34 years and only Danny is has survived to the end, attending the others funerals whilst continuing to sing the song.

On reflection Doug comments in the documentary that it wasn’t very Christmassy and perhaps just making a series xiii would have been a better use of their money.

[Warbodog]

TWELVETICA

Based on positive feedback to the remastered Polymorph ending and the hilarious caption humour of series VIII, Doug writes an episode comprised entirely of captions in size 12 Helvetica.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

ROBERT MUGSABE MURPHEY RIP

Lister mourns the death of his favourite political revolutionary cartoon character, whilst Rimmer mourns the death of his favourite political dictator cartoon character.

[Dave]

ROBERT LLEWEGABE

Outrageous ‘Weekend At Bernie’s’ farce in which Robert ‘Bobby’ Llewellyn is forced to impersonate Zimbabwean tyrant Robert ‘Bobby’ Mugabe after he is found dead on the eve of an important benign political intervention. After Llewellyn bluffs his way through a key speech in which no-one seems to notice that Mugabe has adopted a strange nondescript Canadian accent and robotic gait, citizens are surprised to discover that an offhand comment made by the speaker means that a Space Corps Directive has now become part of their constitution.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

MUGABRCHY

Hologram Robert Mugabe steals Red Dwarf and takes it on a joyride before hiding in Lister’s laundry basket

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

ONLY THE MUGABE

Mugabe tries to knee death in the bollocks, but in his frail old age misses, and collapses on the floor dead.

[Dave]

SMOKE MU A GABE

Robert Mugabe is cremated, after passing on the mantle of Zimbabwean tyrant to an alternate Robert Mugabe in a wig.

[Dave]

MUGABE²

When a hologram of the dead Robert Mugabe tricks Lister into booting up a second hologram version of himself, the stage is set for an odd-couple romp in which the Zimbabwean tyrant finally gets to experience first-hand what an unbearable arsehole he is.

[Dave]

BACK TO ZIMBABWEATY

Robert Mugabe wakes up to realise that his is no longer the Zimbabwean tyrant he thought he was, as he is dead.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

HOLODICTATORSHIP

The crew encounter a ship populated by the resurrected holograms of dictaors, lead by Captain Robert Mugabe. Rimmer is desperate to join these kindred spirits.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

MUGABEOCRACY

Robert Mugabe leads a revolution against the crew of Red Dwarf to re-instill power with the dominant and native inhabitants of the ship, the AI Vending Machines, who, when the time comes, vote him Prime Minister for the next 40 years.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

THE ROBERT MUGABE WELCOME BACK RECEPTION WILL SOON BEGIN IN THE REFECTORY

Robert Mugabe is resurrected as a hologram aboard Red Dwarf, and Captain Hollister leads a welcome back party, opening with a speech….

“Folks, today is a day for sadness and joy and sadness and joy. Sadness, for the passing away of Robert, and joy, for the passing away of Robert. Sadness again for Robert is back with us, and joy because he is only a hologram. So he can’t lift anything or touch anything, and make sure you walk through him, even when you’re not in a hurry”

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

SKIP-TORY

Dozens of Conservative MPs resign their positions, leave the party, and go exploring the multi-verse in search of a better life.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

THANKS FOR THE MUGABE

Rimmer is feeling down about never having amounted to anything, so Lister implants the memories of Robert Mugabe into him so he can believe he ruled over Zimbabwe for 40 years.

[Dave]

MUGABEYOND A JOKE

Posters in the ‘idea for an episode’ thread start to question whether all their puns about Zimbabwean tyrant Robert Mugabe are in good taste.

[Dave]

MUUG

When a senile Holly is found wanting, the ship’s defaults mean that Red Dwarf is taken over by Zimbabwean tyrant Robert Mugabe.

[Dave]

BYE-BYE, BYE-BYE, RIMMER-RIMMER

Lister’s ability to communicate is severely undermined when he develops a crippling stutter.

[Warbodog]

FONTAINE ECHOES

One of the best episodes of Red Dwarf loses valuable minutes so we can watch some second-rate Sinatra impersonator sing a barely relevant song.

A bit obscure, that one.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

TERRORFONTAINE

Rimmer is kidnapped and tortured by a hologram singing lounge music at him

[Warbodog]

FONTAINEBLUE

Lister has a homoerotic dream about Vic Fontaine. He decides to reevaluate his opinion of the holographic crooner by listening to the album of Deep Space Nine standards James Darren released immediately after the series ended, but its shameless cash-in nature just reinforces his resentment.

[Author]

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