Idea for an episode.

[smoke me a kipper]

Here is my idea for an episode.

The crew come across an old space station. inside they find a stasis booth. After opening the stasis booth they don’y believe it. It seems to be Hollister, but quite a bit older than they remember. Hollister managed to survive the accident and got off the Red Dwarf to get help, I will cut a long story short, at the end of the episode Hollister makes a death bed confession. It was he who caused the accident not Rimmer. He also tells Rimmer that When the accident occured, Yvonne Mcguder was on planet leave so did not get killed. She was pregnant with Rimmers baby.

That would be the start and end of the episode, there would need to be a chain of events in between, but I think you have the gist.

Thank’s for reading smeg heads. Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast.

Topic

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

MY CAREER FOR AN EPISODE

Rimmer spends 30mins updating his CV for the JMC onboard computer.

[cwickham]

POLYMORPHLY HARMLESS

The Polymorph returns, and turns into a Vogon. Doug is hit with a lawsuit from the Douglas Adams estate.

[cwickham]

SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE MEMORIES

Lister gives Rimmer false memories of learning how to fly.

[cwickham]

THE RESTAURANT AT THE END

Lister travels back in time and discovers a restaurant where one can witness the radiation leak wiping out the crew of Red Dwarf over and over again.

[cwickham]

BETTER THAN LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING

Doug boasts about how his writing is far better than the third Hitchhiker’s book.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

LOST EAR FOR AN EPISODE

Tony Curran reprises his Doctor Who role as Vincent Van Gogh. After falling through a rent in the space time continuum, Van Gogh spends an evening eating curry and getting drunk with Lister, becomes an accident with a rather sharp popadom shard severs his ear and he is return to his own time going even madder from his experiences of the future that people won’t believe.

[cwickham]

AND ANOTHER BEGINNING…

Hogey the Roguey is revealed as a Vogon. Doug is hit with a lawsuit from the Douglas Adams estate.

[cwickham]

ONLY THE ZAPHOD…

Episode which resolves the Series VIII cliffhanger by revealing Zaphod Beeblebrox turned up to save the day at the last moment. Doug is hit with a lawsuit from the Douglas Adams estate.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

THE ULTIMATE QUESTION

A group of futuristic philosophers build a giant machine with artificial intelligence to find out what the ultimate question is. Talkie Toaster returns in this hilarious new episode.

[cwickham]

THE SAMSARA OF DOUBT

Doug attempts to plagiarise an unfinished Douglas Adams novel in the hope nobody will notice. The resulting bad karma means he is hit with a lawsuit from the Douglas Adams estate.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

THIS IS INFACT A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT RED PVC NUMBER

Doug is hit with a lawsuit from the Douglas Adams estate for dressing series VII Kochanski in a similar outfit to Trillion’s in H2G2 TV series

[cwickham]

LIFE, PARALLEL UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING

Lister discovers a parallel universe where England win the Ashes.

[cwickham]

LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND WAITING FOR GOD

Lister discovers a parallel universe where Waiting for God came first in the Pearl Poll.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

ARNOLD RIMMER’S HOLOGRAPHIC DETECTIVE AGENCY

After a number of stranger than usual events occur onboard Red Dwarf, Rimmer sets up a detective agency to get to the bottom of them. He is hit with a lawsuit from the Douglas Adams estate.

[cwickham]

LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND THE BEGINNING

Rimmer discovers a parallel universe where Lecturer Rimmer really was his father and everyone was killed by the simulants.

[cwickham]

THE LONG, DARK TEATIMESLIDES OF THE SOUL

Rimmer tries to solve long-unsolved murder mysteries by going back in time with the timeslides. He is hit with a lawsuit from the Douglas Adams estate.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

THE ANSWER TO THE ULTIMATE QUESTION

Trojan is revealed to be the 42nd best episode of Red Dwarf in an online fan forum poll.

[cwickham]

BETTER THAN LIFF

Rimmer believes his made-up definitions of words are much funnier than Douglas Adams’ and John Lloyd’s.

[cwickham]

THE LAST DAY TO SEE

Nature documentary where Hudzen-10 goes around destroying near-extinct species.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KRYTEN: THE PARANOID ANDROID

Series VII is re-titled for it’s 20th anniversary 8k cinematic release. Doug is hit with a lawsuit from the Douglas Adams estate.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BETTER THAN SMACK

Craig Charles discovers a drug he hasn’t tried yet.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

FATTER IN REAL LIFE

Mac McDonald is booked to appear at Dimension Jump again.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

THE LAST HUMAN’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY

Doug is hit with the mother of all lawsuits when Lister releases his memoirs and the parallels between the last human beings in the universe, lusting over an intelligent young woman in a red PVC outfit, in search of a really good tea/curry and getting into whacky space adventures with a robot becomes apparent.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BETTER THAN LEFFE

Lister proclaims his Leopard Larger is better than a Belgium brand.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

AND ANOTHER TIMEWAVE

Following Doug’s untimely death, Paul Alexander writes a sequel to Timewave that no-one wanted.

[cwickham]

THYMEWAVE

Red Dwarf is overrun with herbs when Kryten’s spice rack falls apart.

[cwickham]

LIMEWAVE

Kryten’s fruit bowl overflows.

[cwickham]

BEYONCE A JOKE

Kryten discovers his creator modelled him on an American R&B singer.

[cwickham]

SEANCE A JOKE

Kryten discovers his creator modelled him on a ghost.

[cwickham]

BED BATH & BEYOND A JOKE

Kryten discovers his creator modelled him on an American chain store.

[cwickham]

BEYOND THUNDERDOME, A JOKE

Kryten gives a disparaging review of a Mad Max film.

[cwickham]

BLOND A JOKE

Kryten makes some sexist remarks.

[cwickham]

BOND A JOKE

Kryten reveals his negative opinions towards the James Bond franchise.

[cwickham]

CARTIERS & SUNS

The Dwarfers all get expensive new wristwatches. The show is taken off air for breaching Ofcom’s regulations on advertising.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

ABSCOND A JOKE

Brittas Empire writers avoid being sued for 25 years for stealing a joke from Red Dwarf

[cwickham]

SIMON RIMMERWORLD

The Dwarfers discover a planet populated by clones of a TV chef.

[cwickham]

OFFICER SIMON RIMMER

A TV chef arrives on board Red Dwarf and takes command.

[cwickham]

GLASS RIMMERWORLD

The Dwarfers discover a planet covered by billions of bar accessories used to apply salt to the rim of a glass.

[cwickham]

RIP DAVE BLISTER

Lister gets infected with a sentient blister, which kills him.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

FAR BEYOND THE STARS A JOKE

Lister wakes up to find himself to be a comic writer in 1950s, who is denied the opportunity to publish is stories about the final human being being a black man stranded 3 million years from Earth. He gets angry and in an emotional scene that sees him breakdown as all his negativity pour out as he blasts the blatant racism of 20th century America, he destroys the publishers office, sacrificing himself in the process.

Doug is hit with a lawsuit by Ira Steven Behr.

[Dave]

BINKS TO ENLIGHTENMENT

Jar-Jar Binks appears on Red Dwarf, adopting the persona of a new-age guru who can help the crew to understand and accept their place in the universe.

[Dave]

BLINKS TO ENLIGHTENMENT

Lister starts to think he can get cleverer by opening and closing his eyes really quickly.

[Dave]

BANKS TO ENLIGHTENMENT

Rimmer gets a new job as a bank clerk. On Red Dwarf.
Somehow.

[Dave]

BASE-TWO ENLIGHTENMENT

After experiencing a moment of clarity, Lister suddenly understands all of the comments Kryten has been making in binary for years.

[Dave]

JA JA BINKS

As part of the TV show Red Dwarf’s localisation process, German voice-over artists overdub all of Don Warrington’s lines in ‘Holoship’.

[Dave]

BINKS FOR THE MEMORY

As part of Red Dwarf V remastered, Doug cuts all of Don Warrington’s scenes in ‘Holoship’.

[Dave]

BINKSY

Don Warrington annoys the crew of Red Dwarf by becoming a pseudo-mysterious graffiti artist who secretly paints arch, comedic anti-establishment messages on walls all over the ship while perpetuating his own self-made mythology that no-one really knows who he is, even though everyone does by now.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BASS DRUM TO ENLIGHTENMENT

Lister takes up drumming, and it give his new kit a bit of sparkle, installs some LED lights inside his bass drum

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

KINKS TO ENLIGHTENMENT

Despite some trepidation, Lister comes to accept some of Kochanski’s weird sexual kinks

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

LISTER TO HEAD DWARF

Lister mocks a radio transmission to the person in charge of the Snow White’s seven dwarves

[Author]

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