Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Idea for an episode.

Viewing 100 posts - 11,401 through 11,500 (of 12,058 total)
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  • #267776
    Dave
    Participant

    STOKE MY CLIPPER WE’RE ON PAGE 115

    Rimmer tries and fails to remember the Idea For An Episode new page catchphrase.

    #267777
    cwickham
    Participant

    TRIMENSION JUMP

    Rimmer enters three different parallel universes at once.

    #267778
    cwickham
    Participant

    TRIOMINO JUMP

    Rimmer gets very excited upon discovering a variation of the domino in Red Dwarf’s toy cupboard.

    #267779
    cwickham
    Participant

    DOLMIO JUMP

    Rimmer decides to have pasta for supper.

    #267785
    si
    Participant

    SI MENTIONS TRUMP

    I just farted.

    Oh, and something happens in Red Dwarf.

    #267787
    Dave
    Participant

    NO IT’S NOT, PETERSEN TROLLED ME

    Lister is distraught to discover that the person abusing him online is none other than his best friend.

    #267788
    Dave
    Participant

    NO IT’S NOT, PETERSEN BOWLED ME

    Lister plays cricket with his best mate.

    #267789
    Dave
    Participant

    NO IT’S NOT, PETERSEN SOLD ME

    Shockwaves reverberate around Red Dwarf when its catering officer turns out to be masterminding a people-trafficking ring.

    #267790
    Dave
    Participant

    NO IT’S NOT, PETERSEN CONTROLLED ME

    Rimmer explains why he punched himself in the bollocks.

    #267791
    Jenuall
    Participant

    NO! IT’S NOT? PETERSEN, HOLD ME

    Lister receives some news that shocks him and needs to be comforted by his friend Petersen

    #267792

    NO, IT’S THIS KNOT. NOW PETERSEN, SCOLD ME

    Lister teaches his friend Petersen how to safely tie him up and verbally abuse him as a demonstration a variety of sexual fetishes.

    #267793
    Dave
    Participant

    NO, IT’S KNOT

    Rimmer tries to convince Cassandra that his name isn’t Rimmer.

    #267794
    Dave
    Participant

    NOT IT’S NOT PEMBERTON TOLD ME

    Lister insists to Kochanski that their relationship is not over, following sage advice from a friend.

    #267795
    Dave
    Participant

    NO IT’S NOT, PETE TRANTER’S SISTER FOOLED ME

    Lister regrets being seduced by a psiren.

    #267796
    Jenuall
    Participant

    NO IT’S NOT, PETE PART TWO SOLD ME

    Craig Charles denies that making series VIII was a bad idea and it was in fact the commonly derided shit dinosaur episode which convinced him to dive in to production

    #267797

    NO IT’S NOT, PETER’S HEN MAULD ME

    Lister corrects Rimmer’s assumption that he has been jabbing himself in the left with a compass again, and in the process highlights why pets aren’t allowed aboard space ships.

    #267798
    Jenuall
    Participant

    NO STAR KNOT, SKIPPER WON OLD BEAN

    Doug explains to a colleague that after an internal poll the series XII final episode title has been officially changed

    #267801
    cwickham
    Participant

    SMITIE TV

    Kryten is smited by God for profiting from the sexual exploitation of women without their consent.

    #267802
    Dave
    Participant

    NO, IT’S SNOT, PETERSEN TOLD ME

    Lister tells Kryten what he expects to see when he opens his handkerchief and looks at the contents.

    #267803
    Dave
    Participant

    NO IT’S HOT, PETERSEN TOLD ME

    Lister doesn’t believe that it’s cold outside, despite the lack of any kind of atmosphere.

    #267804
    Dave
    Participant

    NO HISLOP, PAUL MERTON TOLD ME

    Lister finds out that the usual panel won’t be present on tonight’s HIGNFY.

    #267810
    cwickham
    Participant

    SPITIE TV

    Kryten uses a hidden camera show to get revenge on his enemies for the pettiest, most spiteful of reasons.

    #267811
    cwickham
    Participant

    SPITALFIELDS TV

    Kryten reports live from Bethnal Green.

    #267812
    Dave
    Participant

    OFFICER PETERSEN

    Through a convoluted series of events, Petersen is promoted to officer and relocated to the Drive Room. Unfortunately, before the debacle can be resolved a nuclear explosion wipes out the entire crew.

    #267813

    OFFICER PETERSEN PART TWO

    A drunk Petersen breaks into supplies, eats all the ice cream and drinks all the coke and shits everywhere.

    #267814
    Dave
    Participant

    PETERSONIA

    The One Where Everyone’s Petersen.

    #267815
    Dave
    Participant

    PSETERSENS

    The crew are attacked by sinister shape-shifting creatures that can disguise themselves as Mark Williams.

    #267816
    Dave
    Participant

    PETERSEN OF CLICHÉ

    21st century viewers suggest that the character of Petersen was a bit of a lazy stereotype.

    #267817
    si
    Participant

    PETERSEN OF CLOCHE

    Petersen becomes a regular visitor to the popular* potty mouthed Red Dwarf fansite Ganymede & Titan.

    *meh, why not?

    #267818

    THANKS FOR THE PETERSEN

    Chapter title for that one bit in Balance of Power where Rimmer has Petersen’s arm.

    #267819
    Dave
    Participant

    YOU SAW ME PETERSEN DIE!

    It turns out it wasn’t Bexley that died in the drive room, it was Red Dwarf’s heroic catering officer.

    #267820
    Warbodog
    Participant

    OLAF TRACK

    Mark Williams records in-character commentaries for every episode of Red Dwarf except Back to Earth and the extended episodes of series VII.

    #267821
    Jenuall
    Participant

    CANNED OLAF-TER

    A catering mix up results in Petersen being sealed inside a giant food container

    #267834
    Dave
    Participant

    “PUB?” AH, YES

    Kryten initially doesn’t recognise what a pub looks like because apparently in Red Dwarf’s universe they change their appearance dramatically every few years.

    #267835
    Dave
    Participant

    AIGBURTH ARMS

    Description of a specific injury that pool players get when they try to take shots on a table that’s surrounded by abraisive chains.

    #267836
    Dave
    Participant

    LAV-POOL

    Special futuristic version of pool where you try and pot balls in a toilet.

    #267837

    GRAVY-POOL

    In what is widely accepted as trying too hard create quirky futuristic sports, pool with the balls suspended in a lake of gravy causes fans to question how the Red Dwarf universe got to this.

    #267841
    Dave
    Participant

    GRAN-POOL

    The Aigburth Arms octogenarian pool tournament gets under way.

    #267842

    GRAVEL-POOL

    In the future, pool tables are covered in a layer of gravel to further up the stakes.

    #267843
    Dave
    Participant

    GRAV-POO

    The Aigburth Arms Zero-G toilet facilities enable patrons to piss up the wall to infinity.

    #267844
    Dave
    Participant

    GRAV AD LACKS

    Customers who order the Aigburth Arms’ salmon special get a token that allows them to play Grav-Pool without being interrupted by advertisements every ten minutes.

    #267845
    Dave
    Participant

    GRAV-POOH

    Winnie the Pooh escapes being executed by switching off the Waxworld planet’s gravity at the last minute so that the firing squad’s bullets miss.

    #267846
    Warbodog
    Participant

    GRAV-CARPOOL

    Kryten starts a chatty taxi service in a gothic cyberpunk car with chains criss-crossing the interior and getting dangerously in the way.

    #267847
    Dave
    Participant

    GRAVITAS POOL

    Futuristic pool game in which an AI hologrammatic version of Orson Welles provides a running commentary.

    #267849
    Dave
    Participant

    GRAVE POOL

    Rimmer joins a pool club for holograms.

    #267855
    Warbodog
    Participant

    CHAV-POOL

    Lister goes back in time and challenges some antisocial youths to a pool championship.

    #267856
    Dave
    Participant

    CHIVE POOL

    Kryten uses a chive as a makeshift pool cue after cress proves unsuitable.

    #267857
    Warbodog
    Participant

    SLAV-POOL

    Alternativní název pro ‘Bílá díra’ na vydání 4K.

    #267859
    Dave
    Participant

    NAV-POOL

    Lister tries to set up a pool table in Starbug’s cockpit.

    #267860

    NIAMH POOL

    Futuristic Irish pool table

    #267861
    Warbodog
    Participant

    GREY-POOL

    Lister plays pool during series one.

    #267862
    Warbodog
    Participant

    GAY-POOL

    Lister sets up a hot tub in the sleeping quarters and one thing leads to another.

    #267864
    cwickham
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-TWO

    Holly invents a new number system where half of 10 is 6. What is one-sixth of 30 under this new system?

    #267865
    cwickham
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-THREE

    There are 2 Skutters in front of 2 other Skutters, 2 Skutters behind 2 Skutters and 2 Skutters next to 2 Skutters. How many Skutters are there in total?

    #267866
    cwickham
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FOUR

    Lister is heading south down B Deck on his bike at 25 mph. Cat passes Lister, also travelling south on quantum roller-skates, at 40 mph. Simultaneously, Lister passes Rimmer, who is walking in the same direction at 5 mph. Who will move away from Lister at a faster pace, Cat or Rimmer?

    #267868
    Dave
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-TWO

    Holly invents a new number system where half of 10 is 6. What is one-sixth of 30 under this new system?

    IT HAS A 6 IN IT. BUT IT’S NOT 6000.

    Queeg volunteers an answer.

    #267872
    Warbodog
    Participant

    I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK. GAIMAN.

    Lister wants to read Neverwhere in peace.

    #267873
    Warbodog
    Participant

    I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK. GAMMON.

    Lister wants to enjoy his pork in peace.

    #267874
    Warbodog
    Participant

    I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK. GORMAN.

    Lister wants to watch Modern Life Is Goodish in peace.

    #267875
    Warbodog
    Participant

    I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK. HEY, MON.

    Lister regrets learning what an iguana is.

    #267876
    Dave
    Participant

    I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK. SHAMONE!

    Lister encounters a 1987 Michael Jackson.

    #267877
    Dave
    Participant

    I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK, GAMBON

    Doug casts a high-profile A-list actor as a background extra with no lines.

    #267878
    Dave
    Participant

    I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK, GAME ON’S ON

    Lister tells everyone to shut up while he is watching his favourite 1990s flatshare sitcom.

    #267884
    Dave
    Participant

    TODAY’S FISH IS SILLY OLD TROUT A LA CREME

    A de-guilted Kryten introduces Rimmer to a Polymorph in the shape of his mother.

    #267886
    si
    Participant

    I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK, SIMON

    .

    #267887
    Dave
    Participant

    MR BAT

    Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where Lister’s pet bat was safely sealed in the hold.

    #267888
    Dave
    Participant

    MR GNAT

    Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where Lister’s pet insect was safely sealed in the hold.

    #267889
    Dave
    Participant

    MR TWAT

    Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where Piers Morgan was safely sealed in the hold.

    #267890
    Dave
    Participant

    MR HAT

    Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where Lister’s leather deerstalker was safely sealed in the hold. It hasn’t evolved into anything but Lister talks to it as though it’s alive, which is a bit weird.

    #267891
    Dave
    Participant

    MR GUITAR

    Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where all of Robert Llewellyn’s outtakes were safely sealed in the hold.

    #267893

    MR THATCHER

    Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where Dennis Thatcher was safely sealed in the hold.

    #267894

    MR FAT

    Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where Rob Grant was safely sealed in the hold.

    #267895

    MR ZAPPED

    Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where another Dave original sit-com was safely sealed in the hold and immediately skips out again.

    #267896

    MR PLATT

    Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where David Platt off of Corrie is safely sealed in the hold.

    #267897

    MR MOTT

    Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where ‘Mott the Hoople’ were safely sealed in the hold.

    #267898
    Dave
    Participant

    MR MISTER

    Rimmer quantum skips to a dimension where the 1985 hit Broken Wings was safely sealed in the hold.

    #267901
    Warbodog
    Participant

    GRAV-POLO

    Future toffs whack a ball around a carousel.

    #267902
    cwickham
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIVE

    Holly keeps on randomly going offline, and the Dwarfers are eventually able to trace the fault to his internal clock. Whenever the minute hand of the clock crosses over the hour hand, the two cables touch and the power goes off for two minutes until Holly can reset. It’s currently 6.35pm, and the power has just come back on. When will it next go off?

    #267903
    Dave
    Participant

    TEWWUHFOWM

    The crew crash land on a planet based on the warped mind of Jonathan Ross.

    #267904
    Dave
    Participant

    WIMMUHWORLD

    Jonathan Ross crash lands on a planet full of clones of Rimmer.

    #267905
    Dave
    Participant

    WOSSES AND JONATHANS

    One of the vending machines has a programmed lisp and everyone debates whether it’s offensive.

    #267910
    cwickham
    Participant

    FUNNY TV

    Original title for Krytie TV which was withdrawn on the grounds it was a breach of the Trade Descriptions Act.

    #267911
    cwickham
    Participant

    DUNNY TV

    How Series VIII was described when broadcast in Australia.

    #267912
    cwickham
    Participant

    MONEY TV

    Doug demands to get paid to write more Red Dwarf.

    #267913
    Warbodog
    Participant

    KRYTIE TVGOHOME

    Charlie Brooker writes a joke Red Dwarf listing that he subsequently discovers is an actual episode synopsis.

    #267914
    cwickham
    Participant

    PUNNY TV

    Doug just has the characters come out with a string of puns whilst sitting around a table for 29 minutes.

    #267915
    cwickham
    Participant

    RUNNY TV

    Everyone has a runny nose this week.

    #267916
    cwickham
    Participant

    SUNNY TV

    The sun comes out, and then turns supernova and consumes Red Dwarf completely.

    #267917
    cwickham
    Participant

    BUNNY TV

    Everyone gets a pet rabbit.

    #267918
    cwickham
    Participant

    HEY-NONNY-NONNY TV

    Everyone goes Morris dancing.

    #267919
    cwickham
    Participant

    HONEY TV

    Everyone takes up bee-keeping.

    #267920
    Warbodog
    Participant

    GRAV-SWING

    Swings are given a rather silly, futuristic name.

    #267921
    Warbodog
    Participant

    GRAV-STASIS

    22nd century scientists invent a dungeon.

    #267922
    Warbodog
    Participant

    GAZ-TOP

    CITV’s Gareth Jones guest stars as ringmaster of the Silly Circus, is it the next page yet.

    #267924
    Dave
    Participant

    GRAVESEND-POOL

    Lister goes for a swim in Gravesend.

    #267925
    Dave
    Participant

    BACK IN THE AIGBURTH ARMS

    Doug finally makes Series IX of Red Dwarf, in which the nanobots recreate the Aigburth Arms and all of its inhabitants. With hilarious consequences.

    #267926
    Dave
    Participant

    DEMONS AND AIGBURTH

    The triplicator creates two copies of the Aigburth Arms – one a lovely welcoming old-fashioned pub, and the other one the Ouroboros version.

    #267927
    Dave
    Participant

    GUNMEN OF THE OLD CHOCOLATES

    Struck down by a computer virus, Kryten becomes Bertie Bassett and faces down four of the most evil chocolates that everyone always leaves in the box: coffee, orange, liqueurs and those ones wrapped in foil that no-one really knows what they are.

    #267928
    Dave
    Participant

    GAME ON OF THE APOCALYPSE

    Everyone is a bit disappointed when the “I told you not to talk” meme peters out so quickly.

    #267929
    Dave
    Participant

    BACK TO THE NEXT PAGE

    Page 115 turns out to be a total-immersion video game, and we’re actually on page 116.

Viewing 100 posts - 11,401 through 11,500 (of 12,058 total)
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